Big Island Sunset (Big Island #7)

1. Emma

1

Emma

A untie Em… I think I’m pregnant.

Emma sat frozen in shock as Juniper’s words echoed in her mind.

Beyond the tower room’s four-paned window, it was a perfect end-of-summer day. The sky was a vibrant blue, dotted with fluffy white clouds. Down below, the orchard shone a vibrant shade of green, dotted with golden bananas and sunset-colored papayas.

She remembered a bright autumn day eighteen years before, when her twin brother stood in front of their parents and told them that his seventeen-year-old girlfriend was expecting a baby. Their mother had retreated into an icy silence while their dad, usually so easygoing, shouted recriminations.

Ethan had moved out that same day. He’d crashed on a friend’s couch until he found a place that he could afford, a yurt in the woods where Juniper was born about six months later.

“Auntie Em?” Juniper’s voice was shaky.

Emma blinked and refocused on her niece. Jun was sickly pale beneath her freckles.

Behind her were a dozen photos of her and the neighbor boy: Juniper and Cody jumping from waterfalls, working their first farmers market, beaming down at her from the wall.

That carefree girl hardly resembled the careworn young woman in front of her. For the first time, Emma noticed the dark circles beneath Juniper’s eyes.

How had she failed to notice so much?

A tear streaked down Jun’s face, breaking through Emma’s shock. She moved to the narrow bed and sat beside her niece, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“We were careful,” Jun said on a sob. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Are you sure that you’re pregnant?”

“Pretty sure.” Her voice shook.

“Okay. First step, I run to the store and get you a test.”

“I feel like I know already.”

“We’ll get a test, just to be sure. And then we’ll make you a doctor’s appointment.”

“I hate doctors,” Jun keened, folding forward.

Emma pressed her lips together, staunching the flow of practicalities and planning for the moment. She rubbed Juniper’s back while she sobbed.

When Jun finally quieted, Emma went quickly down the stairs and returned with a box of tissues.

“Thanks.” Jun accepted the tissues and blew her nose. Emma settled into the chair across from her.

“How long have you known?

Juniper sniffed and wiped her eyes. “A couple of weeks, I guess.”

“That’s a lot to carry all on your own for two weeks.”

“I thought I might be wrong. But I’ve never been this late, and I’m nauseous all the time.”

“Morning sickness?”

“All the time,” she repeated with emphasis. “I haven’t been throwing up like they do in the movies. It’s just this constant nausea that’s enough to make me miserable but not enough to make me puke.”

“That’s how I felt with Kai.” Emma sighed, looking at her niece with compassion.

Juniper groaned and buried her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I let this happen. I feel like such an idiot. My dad’s going to kill me.”

“No he won’t.”

“He’s going to be so mad.”

“Maybe. But he’ll calm down, and he’ll understand. People make mistakes.”

“I hate that!” Jun burst out, straightening.

She gave her niece a questioning look.

“I’m a person ,” she said vehemently.

Emma’s mouth gaped open. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m not just some mistake that my parents made. I’m me . I deserve to be here as much as anybody, even if I wasn’t planned… or even wanted.”

“Oh, Jun.” Emma’s heart broke, and she reached for her hands. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Jun pulled her hands away. “My baby’s not a mistake.”

“Okay,” Emma agreed, trying to soothe her.

“I’m not a mistake.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. “I’m just… me.”

“This is a huge decision.” Emma kept her tone as gentle as she could, but she needed to say something. She needed Jun to understand that this was the rest of her life that she was talking about, not her origin story. “Being a mother is more work than you can possibly imagine.”

“I’m not afraid of hard work,” she said fiercely.

Emma could only nod. Juniper was the most hardworking seventeen year old she had ever known… with the possible exception of the boy next door.

They were a good match, but good lord… they were so young.

A cool fear crept into her heart, and she frowned with worry.

“The father…”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“And he’s… Cody?”

Juniper gasped like she’d slapped her. “Of course it’s Cody!”

“I didn’t want to assume–”

“Thanks a lot,” she interrupted bitterly.

“I’m sorry, Jun. I’m still processing, okay?”

“He’s the only person I’ve ever… He’s my person,” she choked out on a sob.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Her tone said, It’s not fine. Nothing is fine. “If you don’t want a baby in the house, I understand.”

Emma coughed up a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob.

The truth was that she had wanted another baby. Very much. She had wanted a sibling for Kai, another baby that was half her and half Adam. It was one of the many things that still grieved her daily, nearly a year after his death.

Juniper’s expression was set and stubborn. “I can find someplace to–”

“You’re not going anywhere. Not until you feel ready, and you actually want to.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it! Juniper, you’re my family. I love you every bit as much as Kai, and I’m so sorry if I ever did anything to make you doubt that.”

“It’s just–” Juniper blew her nose and continued, “when my dad and Teddy were here, you kind of avoided him. Teddy, I mean. I thought you didn’t really want him here.”

“I would take Teddy in a heartbeat if I thought that was best for everybody. But I know my brother, and I know grief. I worried that if I stepped in and took care of Teddy, Ethan would lose his ballast. He wouldn’t have anything to keep him steady, and he wouldn’t be able to move on.”

“He moved on all right,” Juniper muttered. She must be thinking about Fern, the yoga teacher that Ethan had started seeing very soon after his wife passed away.

“He’s still grieving,” Emma told her. “Still processing. Just like you.”

Juniper took a few shaky breaths, looking like she might start crying again. Finally, her voice shaking, she asked, “Did they ever want me?”

“They loved you – love you – so much.”

“But did they want me?”

“Of course they did.”

Juniper made a sputtering sound of disbelief and looked away.

“You may have been a… surprise,” Emma said. “But after that, you were a choice . They chose to stay together, even though they had zero support from their parents. They chose to have you. They chose to keep you. And yes, I’ll admit that the rest of us had a hard time understanding their decisions. Your dad might have a hard time with this one. But you know what?”

“What?”

“Your grandma and grandpa fell madly in love with you the second they saw you. We all did. Your dad will feel the same way.”

“He already has a baby.”

“You’re his baby too. Always. He’ll come around.”

“Eight months is a long time,” she said with more tears.

“Hopefully he’ll come around sooner than our parents did.” Emma tried to smile, but she didn’t want to imagine her brother’s reaction. She pushed the thought away to be dealt with another day.

“I’m scared to tell him.”

Emma just nodded. She wasn’t ready to think about that part either.

“Don’t people wait until, like, halfway through the pregnancy before they tell anybody? To see if the baby even makes it that far?”

“Sometimes.” A sudden dread pressed against her lungs.

“I don’t want to tell him yet,” Jun admitted. “Not for a while.”

Emma closed her eyes, trying not to imagine the fallout when Ethan finally learned that his seventeen-year-old daughter was pregnant… and that Emma had known, and they had hidden it from him.

She knew her twin so well that she could hear his voice as clear as day, could hear the indignation and the anger… and the hurt.

Then she forced herself to open her eyes and look at Jun.

This wasn’t about her brother. The girl in front of her needed her support.

“We’re getting way ahead of ourselves,” Emma said. “I’m going to run to the store for some tests. And a whole bag of ginger candy.”

That made Jun smile, even while more tears streaked her red-splotched face.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes, and we’ll take it from there. Okay?”

“Okay.” Her voice came out strangled, but there was a gleam of fierce determination in her hazel-green eyes.

“Whatever the result,” Emma said, reaching forward to take Juniper’s hands, “whatever your decision, I’m with you. I’ve got you. You can lean on me, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, steadier now.

Emma stood to leave, and Juniper rose with her.

“Auntie Em?”

“Yeah?” She turned back to face her.

“Thank you.” Juniper wrapped her in a rib-cracking hug and buried her face in her shoulder.

“I’m here.” Emma put her arms around her niece.

Even though she was itching to run down to her car, eager to indulge the faint hope that there was no baby, that this was all just a big scare… she knew that wasn’t what Jun needed from her right at that moment. She needed her . She needed to know that she wasn’t alone.

“I’m here,” she said again, holding her tight. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They stood like that for a long time, until Juniper finally dropped her arms and stepped back.

“Can I come with you?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“I’m just going to wash my face.”

Juniper disappeared down the stairs, and Emma stood for a while looking out the window.

If it were just the two of them, it wouldn’t be so complicated. They would take things one day at a time. A baby was a blessing, after all. In her heart of hearts, Emma truly believed that.

It was other people who complicated things. She dreaded her brother’s reaction… and her mother’s. Then there was the teenage boy next door and his already overwhelmed and overworked mother. And then there was a whole world’s worth of judgement that would be heaped upon a single mother.

There was a tremendous amount of stress coming Jun’s way, and Emma felt horribly ill prepared to support her niece through it all. If only she had Adam to lean on, this new weight on her shoulders would feel a thousand times lighter.

She let out a heavy sigh and turned towards the stairs.

Juniper would be fine. Everything would work out.

They just had to take it one step at a time.