Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
BIG RED
T hree weeks and Alice hasn’t spoken a single word to me. At first, I was sad and hurt, but eventually I became pissed. I know what I said was wrong, but she lied to me. We were both in the wrong.
To see how she just easily cut me out of her life like we didn’t tell each other we loved one another makes me feel like maybe none of it was real.
I went by her house day after day, trying to get her to talk to me just to have one of her roommates turn me away. She’s still maintained movie nights with the kids, and I’m grateful for that.
It's one thing to be angry with me, but if she took it out on Cindy and Colt, I don’t know how I would react. Every time they returned from her home, I could see the worry swirling in Cindy’s eyes. She’s afraid Alice is going to disappear, just like Chloe.
Not to mention, she’s carrying my baby. I don’t care what happens between us. I would never turn my back on my unborn child.
As angry as I am at Alice for not giving me a chance to apologize, I’m even more angry at myself for putting us in this space.
I took all my frustrations out on her, causing her to walk away from me.
I tried going by her house again today once the kids left to go over to Marco’s, just to be turned away again. I was pissed and defeated, which is how I ended up at the clubhouse drinking with the guys.
I haven’t really spent any time here outside of dinners since Alice and I got together. All the bunnies have been fawning all over me, boosting my bruised ego.
I did good about turning them away for a little while, but as the drinks increased, my resistance did the opposite.
Now I’m sitting on one of the sofas with a topless Diamond almost straddling my lap. Viper sits across from me, nursing a beer and shaking his head in disappointment.
He isn’t the only one. Even the single guys are side-eyeing me. I don’t get what anyone expects me to do. I tried talking to her. I tried apologizing. I tried to make it right, but Alice doesn’t want me.
So, why should I put my life on hold?
Diamond rubs her bare breast against my arm. “You wanna get out of here?” she purrs in my ear.
Against my will, my cock jumps in my jeans. It’s been a long three weeks, and my hand just isn’t cutting it. What I want is Alice, but I can’t have her. Turning to Diamond, I grab her hand, ready to lead her away.
“It’s not worth it, Red,” Viper speaks up.
Pinning my gaze on him, I sigh and shrug. “She’s made it clear it's over. So, as far as I’m concerned, I’m a free agent.”
Just as I’m about to get up and take Diamond to my room, Cara walks through the door. I drop Diamond's hand like it’s on fire. Somehow, I feel caught. Even though Alice and I aren’t together, I don’t want her to know about this. Diamond, on the other hand, does not get the memo. Cara squints her eyes at me and makes her way over to Viper.
“What’s up, Hellcat? What are you doing here?” Viper stands and pecks her lips, wrapping her body in his arms.
Cara's eyes still haven’t left me. “Honestly, I forgot. This bs right here just threw me for a loop.”
Grimacing, I scratch the side of my head. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Cara. Alice wants us to be single, and this is what a single Red looks like.”
Even though I’m trying to play it off as if I’m unaffected, I don’t want her mentioning this to Alice. I’ve already hurt her, and I don’t want to add to it.
Cara balls her fist and her eyes darken. I’ve seen this look many times. I never thought it would be thrown my way, though.
“You know what? If you want to settle for easy pussy, who am I to stop you?”
Diamond stands to her feet, her face screwed up in anger. Some of the guys snicker at her boldness. She should know better than to ever step to Cara.
“I don’t get what the problem is. Red is single and free to do what he wants.”
“Was I talking to you, hoe?” Cara sneers.
I'm not the least bit surprised at Cara’s response to Diamond. She has talked a lot of crap about Cara over the years to the other bunnies. She was best friends with two former bunnies, Candy and Ivory, who both got the boot at the hands of Cara. Diamond tries to play off her disdain for Cara in her presence, but when she's alone with other bunnies, according to most of them, she hates the ground Cara walks on. The only reason she’s still here is because she hasn't acted on those ill feelings. But if she ever did, she would end up just like her friends.
“First, I was easy pussy, and now I’m a hoe? Look, I know you’re an ol’ lady and all, but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to me however you want. It’s not like I’m making moves on Viper,” she replies with a smug smile.
“Bitch, I wish you would throw that chopped roast-beef-looking pussy at my man.”
The guys in the room roar with laughter. I try to hold mine in because I do feel a little bad for Diamond, but I fail miserably. Diamond's face turns beet red in embarrassment. She turns to Cara, her eyes hard as steel.
“Just remember your man was balls deep inside me at one point, so clearly he liked it.”
The room gets eerily quiet. Viper gulps, eyeing Cara with worry. I know what he’s thinking. No woman wants to hear about their man being with another woman. Even though Cara knows exactly what was happening around here before she came along, it doesn’t mean she wants it thrown back in her face.
Cara steps on top of the coffee table in front of us, looming over Diamond. She swallows while backing away a little.
“See, that’s what’s wrong with you bitches around here. Thinking because you spread your legs, offering up that ran-through dumpster box between your legs that a man is going to claim you. Newsflash, when your walls begin to feel like the Grand Canyon, a man can only use you for one thing. A nut. And as soon as he gets it, he’s sending you on your way with a wet ass. You’re mad I called you a hoe, but bragging about fucking my man who hasn’t looked at you twice since the day I walked through the door… That right there should let you know that corroded snatch ain’t nothing to brag about.”
Diamond looks away in embarrassment. The guys stare at Cara, astonished. I know, just like me, they expected Cara to drag Diamond all through the common room, not rip her ass apart with some coldhearted truth.
Not being able to take the heat, Diamond scurries out of the common room. Cara turns to me with a frown still etched on her face. Leaning forward, she speaks directly in my ear.
“Let me let you in on a little secret. Alice came to me weeks ago asking for me to put her up in a safe house. Here I was stalling her out with having to install property cameras and such, trying to buy you some time, but you don’t deserve it.”
Cara steps down from the table and begins to walk away. “What the hell are you talking about?” I growl.
Viper moves forward, but Cara plants her hand on his chest, stopping him. His eyes on fire. He isn’t going to forget how I just talked to his woman. Respectfully, I’ll take whatever he dishes out when the time comes. I deserve it.
Looking over her shoulder, she stares me right in the eyes. “I’m not telling you anything else. I thought you were ready for her, but clearly, you’re not.”
She leaves the clubhouse, sending me into a panic.
Alice is leaving?
She can’t. I won’t let her. I thought she would eventually give in.
This can’t be happening.
I storm out of the clubhouse, feeling like I might lose it. I don’t make it far before I hear footsteps behind me. Turning around, I spotted Bear trying to catch up with me.
“She didn’t lie to you.”
“Huh?”
“Alice. She didn’t lie. She came over to my house a few weeks ago to talk to Cara and Sara. Doc told her he went over her medical records. The doctor who told her she was infertile lied to her because he was friends with Declan.”
I’m pissed he waited this long to say something, but there’s a bigger issue at hand.
“Infertile?” I suck in a deep breath feeling my heart drop into my stomach.
Bear looks at me in confusion. “You didn’t know?”
“I mean, she told me she couldn’t get pregnant. I assumed she meant birth control or something.”
“No. You assumed she was like Chloe. You should have known better.”
I drop my head in shame. He’s right. I should have known Alice was nothing like Chloe. I allowed my past and emotions to get the best of me, and I said the most hurtful things I could ever say to her.
I don’t know if I can fix this. What I said might be irreparable.
Something Bear said interrupts my thoughts, and I’m perplexed. “Wait, you said this doctor lied about her being infertile. Why the fuck would he do something like that?”
Bear shakes his head in disgust. “Because Declan is sterile. And guess what the sick bastard did every month when her period came? Blamed her and beat her for it.”
No, no, no. This is so much worse than I thought. After all she’s been through, I added to that hurt and pain. I didn’t protect her. I let my past dictate my future with her.
The thought of going another day without her feels like my insides are being ripped apart.
I can’t imagine going the rest of my life without her.
“I don’t think I can fix this, brother. I said some foul shit. She may never forgive me.”
“You must have forgotten. Sara and I didn’t have a fairy tale beginning. I denied my feelings for her for over a year. Sara was about to start dating and had washed her hands of me when I finally pulled my head out of my ass. It's never too late. You’re just going to have to prove yourself.”
Bear walks away, leaving me to my thoughts. That year he and Sara were going back and forth with being together was a tough time. I witnessed Sara cry a time or two because of Bear. But in the end, he got his woman.
His last words replay in my head.
You’re just going to have to prove yourself.
That I think I can do.
I’ve never had to beg anyone for forgiveness, but I will get on my hands and knees for Alice.
Hands and knees?
An epiphany enters my mind. I know exactly what I’m going to do to get my woman back.