Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
ALICE
L ying in my bed for the fifth day in a row, I am extremely depressed and hurt. I can't believe the things Red said to me the other day. I never thought he could be so cruel.
It's like he took the blinders off my eyes. In that moment, he reminded me too much of Declan. He was always flipping like a switch when things didn’t go his way. I know this pregnancy wasn’t planned, and hell, I’m just as shocked as he is. But to throw what my mother did to me in my face was something I don’t think I could ever forgive.
A part of me doesn’t even want to. I have been down this road before. I refuse to waste years of my life on a man who can abuse me in any way. I’m not the girl I was when I first stepped foot on this compound. I’ve found that inner strength I used to have before Declan.
I know my self-worth. And I won't let anyone make me forget it again.
I should have followed my first mind when I was resistant to pursue a relationship. I should have spent this time focusing on myself.
I don’t fully regret my decision to be with Red because when we were good it felt magical. My bond with Cindy and Colt is something I would never trade in for anything in this world.
That part hurts the most. With Red and I at odds, I don’t know if he would be receptive to me staying in their life. I would hope he wouldn’t interfere with that, but I know I have no say in the matter.
As far as the baby growing inside of me, I won’t keep Red away, but if he doesn’t want anything to do with it, then I won't force him. I’ll raise my baby alone. As I think about the life growing inside of me, I rub my stomach with a smile.
Despite being heartbroken over Red, thoughts of my baby quickly change my mood. Since the day I peed on that stick, all I can think about is if it’s a boy or a girl, what it will look like, and if he or she will be sweet like me or a hellraiser like its daddy.
I wish things had turned out differently for Red and me. I really thought he was it. The moment he spoke those vile words, I could tell he regretted them instantly. But I can’t… no, I won’t be with someone who can control their emotions. I don’t think Red would ever strike me, but there is more than one way to hurt someone other than physically.
That’s why I have to be done.
My cellphone rings. Picking it up, Cara's name flashes across the screen.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey, how you feeling?”
“Like crap. Why is it called morning sickness if it's throughout the whole damn day?” I huff.
That’s the only thing about this pregnancy that I hate. I’ve puked more times than I can count, my appetite is all over the place, and the pregnancy hormones are overrated.
One second, I want to call Red and scream my head off for how he treated me, and the next, I want to jump his bones. I know the next nine months are going to drive me insane.
“I’m glad I never had to deal with that.”
“Yeah, right. You have four babies, Cara.”
Cara snorts before saying, “No, really. I have never had morning sickness. I’m just super hungry and horny. That’s it. Well, I am a bit more violent than normal, but that’s about it.”
There’s a long, pregnant pause. “Alice?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m here. Just a little jealous, though. I don’t know exactly how far along I am, but I’m already exhausted.”
“It’ll get better once the first trimester is over.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Aren’t I always.” She laughs. “But I wanted you to come by Sara’s if you can. Don’t worry about running into Red. He’s not home.”
Breathing out a sigh of relief, I agree to come over. I’m a bit antsy because I know why they're calling me over. As soon as Red left my room that day, I got dressed and went to Cara’s.
After I told her everything that happened between Red and me, she wanted to kick his ass for me. But I didn’t want that.
When I told her I wanted her to put me up in a safe house like she promised when I first arrived here, she seemed hesitant. But as my tears flowed, she reluctantly agreed.
I have been through enough already and don’t deserve to go through more.
Ten minutes later, I’m in Sara’s living room with her, Cara, and Doc. When I first see him, I frown in confusion before taking my seat. I figured I was just going to get the rundown on when they would safely move me off the compound, but staring at these manila folders on the coffee table, I have a gut feeling there’s more to this visit.
“Okay, let's get right to it. We found you a safe house twenty minutes from here, but it’s going to take a little time. I need to install a security system and set up booby traps in case something occurs and we can’t get to you fast enough.”
I’m not stupid enough to argue with any of these demands. It won't kill me to stay on the compound a little longer.
“That’s fine. I don’t have a problem with that, but what does that have to do with Doc here?” I ask nervously.
Scratching her head, Cara sits forward. “So, if I overstepped, I’m sorry, but when you told me that Declan’s doctor friend told you that you were infertile, I had to do some digging. I hacked into the hospital database, pulled your and Declan’s medical records, and gave them to Doc.”
“What did they say?”
“I don’t know. I already felt like I was overstepping boundaries, so I told Doc to save the info for you.”
She and Sara make a move to get up. I wave my hand, letting them know they can stay. Turning to Doc, I wait on pins and needles.
“You were never infertile, Alice.”
“B-but why would he lie about something like that? How the hell did I manage not to conceive all these years?”
“Because Declan is sterile.”
I gasp with wide eyes. Although I am a bit shocked, I’m more pissed than anything. This bastard knew he couldn’t have kids, yet he beat me every month when my period came, claiming that I was useless.
He really pulled the wool over my eyes with this one. He actually talked about going through IVF a few times. Of course, it never happened, and now I know why. He was blowing smoke up my ass, all the while finding any excuse he could to beat me.
“He found out months before he took you to his friend.”
Sara scoffs, shaking her head. “He is the true definition of a narcissistic. He knew he was the problem and couldn’t accept that. So, he blamed you.”
I stare at the ground, thinking of all those times he verbally and physically abused me for something he knew I had no fault in. I have never hated anyone in my life.
But I truly hate Declan Langley.
My life would be totally different had I taken heed to my father's warnings. I can’t change the past, but I have for sure learned from it.
For the next few years, I just want to focus on this baby and live a life free of stress, pain, and disappointment.
It’s going to be hard leaving this place. I’ve formed a bond with all the ladies and kids, and a few of the brothers. I’ll miss all the teasing from Chains and Diablo at the garage. I’ll miss Cindy and Chloe like crazy. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m going to miss falling asleep in Red's arms every night.