Chapter 26
Casey
It’s chaos in the locker room after the game. There are at least six cameras and reporters surrounding me, and I squint to adjust my eyes to their bright lights. I haven’t had a chance to shower yet; I’m still in my uniform when the first reporter sticks a microphone under my nose.
“How does it feel to be back, Casey?” he asks.
“It feels good. My arm feels healthy and I’m just hoping to stay that way.”
“Can you tell us if you’ll pitch in the World Series?”
“Well, that’s up to the coach,” I say. “But I am ready for whatever the team needs me to do.”
Another reporter shouts a question at me, but Brett stops him. “Tucker needs to rest. You can forward any more questions to my office.”
“Brett, who will Tucker be signing with after the season? Will he stay with the Jets or go to Philly?”
“You will be the first to know, Perry, as soon as we sign the deal.”
“Come on, give us a hint!”
“I can tell you that it will be the biggest deal baseball has ever seen.”
I sneak out from the scrimmage and head to the showers. The warm water feels good and relaxes my muscles. I don’t have a headache, and the new cap wasn’t a distraction at all. It all felt good, and I can’t wait to get out of here and call Sage.
“Nice job,” says Coach Neuman. “You looked great out there, kid.”
“Thanks,” I say, putting on a clean shirt. “I appreciate you giving me the chance to prove I can do it.”
“Oh, I knew you could do it. I just wanted to give Garcia a chance before we brought you in. But you proved that this team needs you. I hope you’re going to stay here in L.A.”
Neuman has never talked to me about this. “Honestly, Coach, I don’t know where I’ll be. There’s a lot to consider.”
“Yeah. I get it. Just remember, you’ll always have a home here.”
As Neuman leaves, I think about what he said. Home. Where is home for me anyway? I used to think it was L.A. It’s where I’ve lived for most of my adult life. But lately, I keep picturing something else. It’s not a house exactly but a feeling.
As I get into my car and back out of the parking lot, my phone rings and I smile.
“Hey, Dad. Did you see the game?”
“Of course, I saw it. Your mother and I didn’t move a muscle the entire time you were on the mound. How do you feel? Is your head bothering you?”
“Nah. I feel great.”
“You looked wonderful up there, son.”
The pride in his voice fills my heart. “Thanks, Dad. I don’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve sacrificed for me. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and Mom.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Jane tells me that Sage has a lot to do with you getting back up there. What are you going to do about keeping that good woman in your life?”
“Wow, Dad. I didn’t think we were going to pivot to the rest of my life so quickly.”
“Well, you better start thinking about it. Life goes by more quickly than you think. And a good woman, well, that is rarer than a World Series trophy, so don’t sleep on it, do you hear me?”
I inhale slowly and rub my forehead. “I love her, Dad, and she knows it, too. I want to be with her, but you know that my job makes this a little more complicated than other relationships.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because I’m on the road most of the year. I dedicate all my free time to getting healthy and ready for the next time I pitch. I’m focused on getting that World Series right now. Maybe when I retire from baseball, we can find a place…”
“Son, that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.”
“What?!”
“You heard me.” He sighs loudly. “If you think a beautiful, smart, loving woman like that will just wait around for you, then you’re either stupid or know nothing about women.
And if you think I’d let you string along a good woman or lose her altogether, then that’s even dumber.
Baseball isn’t life, Casey. Baseball is something you do while living.
Finding someone that loves you the way that woman loves you is the reason you were put on this Earth. ”
“I don’t know who I am without baseball.”
“When I lost my job, I thought I had let everybody down, including your mother. I got so low on myself, I didn’t shower for weeks.”
“I don’t remember this.”
“Well, it happened before you and your brother were born. I lost my job because I was too stubborn to admit I didn’t know how to do something and I almost paid for it with my life.
Instead, my boss fired me. Well, I didn’t take too kindly to my error and wish I had died that day.
How stupid was that, huh? I never would have had you or your brother. ”
“What happened?”
“Your mother happened. She threatened to leave me if I didn’t pick myself up. She said I was done feeling sorry for myself and that I needed to get into that bathroom, shower, and then go to those job interviews she circled in the newspaper.”
“And you did that?”
“Not at first. I ignored her, and you know what she did? That woman left the very next day. I couldn’t believe it.
After I got over the shock, I called her mother’s house and demanded she come home.
She didn’t, of course. A week went by, I hadn’t eaten, I hadn’t slept, hell, I don’t think I even got up from my bedroom floor.
I realized, though, that my pride wasn’t worth losing everything.
I had to do what I needed to do to get my wife back and my life together.
Because I realized while I could live without work, I couldn’t live without her.
Learn from my mistakes, son. Life isn’t worth living without a good woman by your side. ”
I lived through the feeling of never playing baseball again. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I shut everyone and everything out because I was ashamed of being a nobody. It was my ego that couldn’t take the loss. But thinking of losing Sage? Nah, I don’t even want to imagine it.
“I’ve got to go, Dad. I’ve got some life plans to make.”
“I’m proud of you, Casey. And I’m not talking about any game.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
I pull into my building with a renewed sense of urgency. I have to speak to Sage. I don’t want to wait anymore. I text her to see if she is free for a video chat.
‘Hey! Yeah, call me whenever you’re ready.’
I tap my thigh as the elevator moves slowly up to the penthouse suite, toss my keys on the counter and throw myself on the couch as I dial her number.
Her beautiful face with an incredibly big smile shows up on my screen a second later. “Ah!” she screams into the phone. “You were amazing, Casey. I’m so proud of you. Did you feel ok up there?”
“I felt great. It was an unbelievable feeling to walk across the field with my music playing in the background and take my place on the mound. I thought I’d never get that chance again.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“I’ve got you to thank for getting me back.”
“No, you don’t. You did the hard work.”
“I don’t think so. A lot of people tried to help, but you never gave up on me.”
“I couldn’t. I don’t know why.” She smirks, but I won’t let her make light of this. I need to get the words out.
“What are you doing now?”
She looks around her apartment. She’s wearing her pink robe and her hair is tied into a messy topknot. “I was going to make myself some chamomile tea and go to bed. No big plans.”
“Come to California.”
“What? You know I can’t. I’ve got work. I’ve been watching the games, though.”
“I want you here, Sage. I want you with me. Come to California. Tell your boss you’re my girlfriend, they’ll understand.”
She laughs. “I don’t think they will.”
“What if you tell them you’re my fiancé?”
She stops laughing mid-breath. “That’s not funny.”
“You’re right. Except I’m not joking.”
Shit. I didn’t want to propose like this over the phone, but I need her to understand I am serious.
“I had a talk with my father tonight and I realized that I don’t want to lose you.
Have you ever thought about getting married?
I haven’t until today, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’ve been through hell and back and I made it because you loved me.
I don’t know if you’re even ready yet, but I’m letting you know, Sage Summers, that I want you to be my wife. ”
She looks up at the ceiling and shakes her head. Wiping tears from her eyes, she looks away from the phone. I’m hoping they’re tears of joy, but she soon starts sobbing. “Sage, are you ok, baby?”
“No,” she cries.
“I’m sorry. I should have waited to speak to you in person, but I didn’t want another night to go by without you knowing exactly how I feel about you. I don’t want any questions about how much I care and love you.”
“Ok.”
“Ok, you love me, too?”
She shakes her head. “Ok. I’ll come to California.”
I whoop out a cheer and shake my fist. “Yes, baby. I’ll send tickets for the World Series to your boss. My parents aren’t coming because my dad still can’t travel very far. But he’ll catch the game in New York.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I’ll do more than that to have you here. I’m so happy you said yes.”
“Well, technically you haven’t asked me anything other than coming to California yet, so I’ve only agreed to that.”
She is irresistible when she’s playful. “When I do propose, it will be unforgettable, I promise.”
“I’m sure it will be. I won’t forget this conversation as long as I live.”
“I love you, Sage.”
“I love you, too, Casey. Good night.”
“Good night, baby.”
*
The next day, Sage texts me that her boss wasn’t thrilled with her leaving, but the World Series tickets certainly helped his mood.
I smile at the eye roll emoji she adds at the end of the message.
She’s leaving for California tomorrow and I have a lot to do before she arrives.
I plan to propose while she’s here and I think I’ve come up with the perfect set up.
A friend’s girlfriend is a world-class violinist and she’s free this Friday.
I’m going to ask her to play in the Observatory while we’re up there looking at the Hollywood sign.
Sage wanted to see it the last time she was here, but I persuaded her it wasn’t worth it.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that’s been my problem all along.
I’ve been looking at things with the wrong lens.
I painted Cedar Brook Falls as this backwards community, a place that never understood me, when really it was the place that built me into the man I am today.
I thought the Hollywood sign was lame until someone showed me pictures of it from the observatory.
I never saw it from that angle. If I’m going to begin a new path, I want to start by looking at it from a new perspective.
I grab my keys, ready to head out to the flower shop.
I have this idea of creating a floral arch around the spot where I’ll propose.
I hired a photographer and she suggested it after showing me some pictures she took of other engagements.
I haven’t told my parents or friends yet.
Even Austin doesn’t know. I only want this to be between the two of us for now.
As I’m about to leave, my phone rings. It’s Brett.
“Hey,” I say as I lock my front door. “What’s up?”
“Philly is upping their offer. Can you believe it?”
“Wow, that’s pretty incredible.”
“I know. So, when do you want to make the announcement?”
“I don’t know. I’m still undecided. I’m really thinking about New York.”
“New York? Casey, you can’t be serious. New York’s offer isn’t even close to Philly’s. There’s no way they’re going to up it. Even a great agent like me can’t negotiate something like that.”
“I understand. But it won’t just boil down to money for me. I’ll know more after the World Series.”
“All right. You focus on the game. The better you pitch, the better the offers, right. Go get’em, Tucker.”
“Thanks.”
I hang up the phone and press the button for the elevator. I’m nearly at the parking garage when my phone rings again. I don’t answer it. Whoever it is, it can wait. I need to get to the flower shop before it closes, and I have practice all day tomorrow so that’s not an option.
But when the phone starts ringing again, and I see Austin’s name, I worry it could be about dad.
“Hey, Austin. Is Dad all right?”
“Casey, I’m so glad you picked up.” His voice is muffled against the loud wind in the background.
“Are you driving? I can’t hear you.”
“Yes. I’m on my way to the hospital. Jane didn’t want me to call you, but I know you’d be upset if we didn’t.”
“Shit. Did he have another heart attack?”
“Who?”
“Dad.”
“No. Why would you say that?”
The wind is louder now, as though he’s gotten on the freeway. The hospital isn’t more than ten miles from town, and we rarely take the freeway. “You said you were going to the hospital to see him.”
“No. We’re not going to the hospital to see Dad.”
“Then why?”
“We’re going to see Sage.”
I hear the words but it’s as though my brain is protecting me from wanting to understand them.
“Sage. Are you picking her up from work?”
“No, Casey. Sage was hit by a cab as she was crossing the street. The driver didn’t stop at the red light, just turned right without slowing down. He says he didn’t see her walking. Which is bullshit—”
“Austin!” I shout. My brain finally lets this sink in. “Is Sage okay?”
There’s a pause, and I want to reach through the phone and grab my brother by his collar. “For fuck’s sakes, is she hurt?”
“I don’t know. They found her work ID, and she had Jane’s number down as her emergency contact, and they called like fifteen minutes ago. We don’t have any details, but we’re driving to New York City right now.”
I check my watch. The last flight to New York would be booked by now and who knows if I’ll even get on if I try to fly standby.
Caleb.
“Austin, I need you to do me a big favor, please.”
“What?”
“I need you to ask Caleb to arrange a private plane for me.”
“But, Casey, you’ve got the first game of the World Series tomorrow. You can’t leave.”
“I don’t fucking care about that. You’re telling me that the woman I love is lying in a hospital bed and could be dead for all that we know, and you want to talk about a stupid game?”
The line goes silent. I would have thought Austin had hung up on me if it weren’t for the wind in the background. “I’ll call him right now.”
“Thank you. I can be at the airport in thirty minutes.”
It will take at least six hours between flight time and travel to and from the airport before I can see Sage.
I slam my fist against the parking garage wall, uncaring if I break every bone in my hand.
Six hours before I’ll know if she’s all right.
Six hours before I know if my heart will still beat without her.