28. Bambi
BAMBI
Pausing, I take a second and debate if I really want to tell him the rest or not. Let him know my deepest, darkest secret. The one that still wakes me up some nights in a cold sweat.
If he’s going to be my… mate, he deserves to know.
“My father killed my mother when I was a little girl. I watched him do it. Tried to stop him. Got thrown into a wall for my efforts. After she was gone, I became the one who cooked, cleaned, and did everything else in the house, including running errands in the nearby town that my father deemed beneath him. But all of that’s nothing compared to what he did right before I ran away. ”
Bikar’s squeezing me so tight I can barely breathe, but instead of making me panic, I feel safer than I ever have in my life. “Your sire killed your mam?! Such a thing can be done amongst your species?”
Nodding against his chest, I reply. “Yeah, Bikar. Humans don’t have bonds that tie them together like your people, so if one spouse kills the other, there aren’t any sort of repercussions unless they’re caught and punished by law enforcement.
The community covered his crime up pretty quickly, and no one ever said her name again. It was like she never existed at all.”
I know I sound heartbroken. It’s been almost twenty years since my mom died, but that doesn’t mean I miss her any less.
“What was her name?”
Did he really just ask me her name? This man… I swear.
Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “Mirabelle. Her name was Mirabelle.”
“That is a beautiful name. I hesitate to ask, but you stated that your sire transgressed worse than murdering your mam. Though I cannot imagine what is worse…”
“Noticed that, did you?”
Bikar’s chest rumbles beneath my ear before a menacing growl slips past his lips, and he grits his teeth with barely restrained patience. “Bambi, little doe, please unburden yourself to me.”
Well, if he’s going to ask so nicely, might as well.
“After I turned eighteen, I figured out why my dad kept me around. He sat me down at our kitchen table and gloated about all of it. I was supposed to be his cash cow. He planned on selling my virginity to the highest bidder in the community and then, essentially, whoring me out after… but that was the plan before Leader Clark decided I was his ‘chosen one.’ I couldn’t have been more than ten years old when I was selected to be his bride.
I mean, who the hell picks a child out like something at the market? ”
Risking a quick glance to check his reaction, I’m not shocked to see his face creased with disgust. Nodding in silent agreement, I resume my story.
“It was an instant ego boost for Dad, but my mom, I found out, was horrified. My dad thought mom was subservient enough that she would just go along with his plans, but she was most assuredly not. She tried to run away with me, to save me from what the men of our community had planned.”
Wiping the back of my hand across my eyes, I brush the tears away.
“Dad caught her in the act. That’s why he killed her.
He couldn’t afford for her to disappear with me since I’d been marked as the fulfillment of a ‘prophecy’ of some sort.
It would boost his social standing in the community, and he cared about appearances more than anything. ”
Inhaling sharply, I spit the rest out while I still have the courage. “A couple of months after I turned eighteen, I was forcibly taken to a chamber underground and cleansed before I was to be wedded, bedded, and impregnated by a man three times my age.”
Shoving my long sleeves up to my elbows, I slowly raise my arms so Bikar can see what I can’t verbally articulate.
I know the second he notices the scars that crisscross up and down my skin because his entire body freezes; his chest doesn’t even move to take a breath.
Several moments of silence go by, and my nerves are about shot when he suddenly jumps to his feet.
“Bikar, what are you doing?”
Grasping me tightly, he stomps out of the helm room, barely pausing long enough for the door to open before he rushes through and prowls down the hall, his chest steadily vibrating with deep rumbling growls.
“Bikar…? Say something, please.” I know he can hear the tremor in my voice, and it wrenches him back to reality.
Brilliant gold eyes blaze down at me with violent rage. “We are going to medical to have you checked over. I know Einar healed all your wounds when you arrived on the Zenith, but I must ensure you are well for myself. I will beg your forgiveness for being high-handed later.”
Surprisingly enough, I feel no fear. Realistically, I know it’s only been a couple of days of us going on dates, but actions speak louder than words ever could, and he’s shown me who he is.
He isn’t the selfish asshole I initially thought; everything he’s ever done has been for me.
Even if it wasn’t always altruistic, it was still done with me in mind.
So, I just smile and nod. “Okay, Bikar.”
Lying my head against his chest, I bask in the feeling of being carried like a princess. It’s pretty freaking great, and I think this should become a regular thing for us.