9. Chandler
9
CHANDLER
It’s been a week since I took the girls to the luncheon, and I am trying to take everything with Tanya and Sophia step by step and not rush them, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to hurry up and get to the point where I could have them with me at all times. I want to take them from their small cabin and move them in with me, preferably with Tanya in my room with me again. The more I’m around her lately, the more I have to work at not reaching out to pull her into my arms.
I was able to talk Tanya into coming up to the city with Sophia this weekend, and I have plans to try and convince her to at least move into the apartment I bought them. I don’t like that I can’t see them when I want to. They are too far away from me living in Willow Creek, and I can’t move my business there, it wouldn’t be a smart business decision.
I’ve glanced at the clock throughout the day today I don’t know how many times, and I’m sure it should have been closer to the end of the day by now, but when I look again, it’s only just lunchtime. Groaning, I stand from my chair and walk out of my office to Jillian’s desk.
“Do you want to grab us some lunch or did you bring yours?”
She doesn’t even look up at me as she says, “I already ordered from the Mexican place down the road. I’m going to pick it up at twelve so you can eat before your meeting.”
She is typing away at whatever I have her working on as I make my way back to my office. I had hoped to leave after lunch, but I forgot about the meeting I have with another distributor. We are trying to find more people to provide us with environmentally safe materials to use on our buildings. It is important to me that what we build is going to last and enhance the environments around it, not do more harm.
The meeting I have after lunch is with someone who will help us to figure out a gap with some of our materials that we’ve been desperately trying to fill for more than a few months now. No matter how much I want to cancel it, I can’t.
I sit back at my desk and pull up the file that I have on them, going over everything to give myself something to do to pass the time. I get distracted not even five minutes into reading the report and pick up my phone to look at the picture I have as my lock screen. I took it the day I took Sophia and Tanya to the luncheon. Tanya had been sitting at the table after everyone had gotten up to mingle, and Sophia was standing in front of her, leaning in for a kiss. I quickly took out my phone and snapped a picture of the two together.
It still blew my mind every day that Tanya was back and that we have a daughter together. Before she disappeared, I never even thought about us having kids, but when she was gone, I thought about all kinds of possibilities; now, some of them are right in front of me, so close but still so far out of reach.
I don’t know what I can do to convince Tanya that I’m what is best for her and Sophia. I can fully support them in any way that is needed, give them whatever they want, and answer every question Tanya has about her past. I know that woman better than anyone in the world, and I just want her to give me a chance to prove it to her.
My desk phone rings just before Jillian’s voice comes through.
“Mr. Bishop, your appointment is here.”
I hit the intercom button on the phone and lean forward to get up as I speak to Jillian.
“Thank you, show them to the main conference room and I will be there in a minute.”
I know I don’t have to tell her to do anything else, she is a great assistant and will have everything handled before I can get there. I put my phone in my pocket and get myself back in working mode. I need to put all of my concentration into this meeting.
The meeting lasts an hour, and as soon as it’s over, I tell Jillian to finish up what she’s doing and to leave for the day. I pack up all my things and head out. I can’t stay in this office any longer knowing that Tanya and Sophia are going to be with me this weekend. I’m anxious for them to just be here already. I’m worried about how Tanya is going to take the trip. Kayla is driving them up today, and I’ve been told that they are going to take their time and that Tanya has medication to help her with the anxiety.
Once I get home, I try to call Tanya’s cell, but she doesn’t answer. I don’t want to bother her or cause her more stress, so I send her a quick text before throwing my phone on the couch and going to my room to change into some sweats and a tank so I can get a work out in before they get here. Hopefully, it will help me burn off some of this excess energy I have. I have all the top equipment, including a bag for boxing. I wrap my knuckles and set some music up loud to get out of my head and in the zone.
Thirty minutes later, I’m dripping with sweat and breathless. I pause for a second to catch my breath and movement catches my attention from the corner of my eye. I stop and turn to see Tanya standing in the doorway. I’m surprised to see her, and my heart jumps in my chest at the sight of her.
“Hey, I didn’t think you were going to be here so soon.”
I drop my arms and walk in her direction, taking in her expression as I do. My steps slow when her look registers with me. I know that look, I’ve seen that look on her face before. It’s the look she used to give me before she jumped me.
She’s turned on by the way I look.
Heat fills my stomach, and I trail my eyes down her body and back up to her eyes as I slowly make my way to her.
“Penny for your thoughts?” My voice is low and rough.
Her cheeks flush, and I can only imagine what she’s thinking. My lips curls at the corner as I try to hold back a smirk. I stop with only an inch of space between us, and she’s forced to look up at me.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking?”
She shakes her head no and blushes even more. Even without her voicing how she is feeling, this moment means so much to me. This moment lets me know that, at a base level, she’s at least still physically attracted to me.
If she’s still attracted to the way I look , then I have a chance at winning her over again.
Lowering my head closer to hers, I whisper, “Are you enjoying the view?”
Our noses are nearly touching, and her captivating green eyes are locked on mine. She doesn’t say anything, but I can see that she was. I lightly brush the tip of my nose against hers, and I can hear her breath hitch. We’re standing so close that I can feel her breasts brush against my chest as her breathing picks up.
I want her so much right now. It’s been too long since I last felt her body against mine, and I can’t focus on anything other than the thought of her naked and pressed against me. I can’t wait any longer and reach out to grip her waist in my hands, lightly brushing my lips against hers, testing to see if she’s okay with this. When she doesn’t pull back, I yank her against me and kiss her. I take one step toward her and twist us so that she is pressed against the door frame, pressing the length of my body against hers. A moan escapes me at the contact, and her hands come up to my sides and grasp my tank with her fists. She feels so good against me.
I trace my tongue along her lips, and she lets out a sigh, but before we can deepen the kiss, a little voice calls out down the hallway.
“Mommy!”
Tanya yanks back from me, turns, and rushes out the door and toward our daughter’s voice.
“Right here, honey.”
Her reaction is too amusing for me to be upset that we were interrupted. I have to wait a moment to take some deep breaths before I can follow her.
This woman is going to be the death of me.
I unwrap the tape from my hands and make my way down the hall to the main living area where I can hear Sophia’s voice. When I walk into the room, Tanya’s face heats again, and Sophia’s face lights up.
“Our house can fit inside of yours!”
A laugh bursts out of me. “Looks that way, doesn’t it? Do you like my place?”
Having these two approve of my space is more important to me than I thought it would be, but I know if they both like it, it’s just one more step closer to convincing Tanya to move in. I’m going to try and settle for them moving in downstairs, but that is only a stepping stone to getting them to move in here.
“Yeah, but it’s kind of...”
Sophia stops mid-sentence and looks around the place. My stomach drops at the word but. I walk over to her and kneel in front of her so that we are eye to eye.
“It’s kind of what? Tell me what you think it needs.”
I want her to be comfortable here, to see my home as her own, and I will get whatever she thinks it needs to do so.
“You need more pictures of Mommy and me.”
I stare at her in shock, this isn’t what I thought she was going to say, and my stomach does a little swoop at the thought that she wants to be included in my space.
“You are absolutely right. While you’re here this weekend, why don’t we work on that? We will take so many pictures that there won’t be any room for them all on the walls by the time we’re done.”
Her smile lights up her face, and it hits me again that she’s really mine. I haven’t been around a lot of children in my life. I’m an only child, and none of my close friends have any children. I’m still nervous around Sophia, scared that I’m going to mess up with her, so when she smiles up at me like this, I feel ten feet tall.
If I could only get her mother to smile at me like that.
“Do you guys have all your things in the car?”
Tanya nods and pulls out her phone to check for messages.
“Yeah, Kayla is downstairs talking with your driver about everything that needs to come up. She needs to leave after he gets everything out.”
Nodding, I stand and turn toward the hall to my room.
“Let me just take a quick shower and change, and then I can take you two downstairs to show you the other apartment.”
Once I’m fully facing away from them, a gasp sounds from behind me, and I quickly spin back around to see what happened. Tanya is staring at me with her hand covering her mouth.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
Her eyes lift from where she was staring at my shoulder, and she looks at me with a mixture of shock and confusion.
“Your tattoo.” Her words are soft.
I tense when I realize that she’s seen the tattoo I have on my right shoulder blade. It never even occurred to me that it was something I should probably mention to her. I had honestly forgotten about it.
“You have a tattoo! Let me see! Let me see!”
Sophia bounces around me to see my tattoo, and I keep my eyes on Tanya as I feel her little hands grabbing at my shirt.
“It’s Mommy!”
A year after she had been gone, I had taken my favorite picture of her and gotten a tattoo of it on my back. It was a close up of her face from the side, she has a soft, sweet smile on her lips and her eyes are cast down. The tattoo artist had done an amazing job. I guess they would have, with how much money I paid for it.
I keep my eyes locked on Tanya, trying to figure out what she’s feeling.
“Mommy, you look so pretty. Can I get a tattoo?”
The question comes so far out of left field that it takes both Tanya and I by surprise. The look on Tanya’s face makes me bust out into laughter, my hand going to my chest as I laugh. She looks absolutely scandalized at the thought of her eight-year-old daughter getting a tattoo. I see her lips twitch as she tries to hold back her smile, and it only makes me laugh harder. Soph is looking back and forth between us, smiling but also confused on why we are laughing.
I finally get control over my laughter and suck in a deep breath.
“Maybe we can revisit that conversation when you’re older.”
I’m still chuckling as I look between the two, and Tanya just shakes her head.
“I’ll be right back.”
I turn again to go to my room and shower; I can’t seem to keep the smile off of my face.
Once I’m done showering and changing, I take Tanya and Sophia down a level of my building and enter the code to get into their new apartment. I had my house keeper set everything up before they got here, and she should be here now stocking the fridge and cabinets for them.
“My housekeeper should be here. I had her go to the store and get stuff that you would need while here. Let me know if there is anything either of you want or need so I can get it. Uh, also, Tanya, I feel like I should warn you. You knew Lisa before everything happened.”
I glance over at her to gauge her reaction, and she looks uncomfortable to say the least.
The door beeps, and as I grab the handle and start to turn it, I look back at them; they are standing side by side, looking more like mother and daughter than ever, with matching expressions of excitement and nerves.
Each step I take with them fills me with nerves, and my stomach flutters with butterflies. I want them to be happy with me, but I don’t know what to do for that happen. I have more than enough money to buy them whatever they want, and I will do anything they ask of me. I feel like the more I buy for them, the more I can prove to them that I want them in my life.
I finish opening the door, and they follow me in as I walk into the kitchen to introduce them to Lisa.
“Lisa, I want you to meet my daughter Sophia, and you remember Tanya?”
It was odd for me to introduce Tanya to people she technically already knows, but I know she needs it. Lisa turns around, and I can see that her eyes are watery as she looks between Soph and Tanya. She has to clear her throat a couple of time before she can say anything.
“Of course, nice to see you, Tanya, and so nice to meet you, Miss Sophia.”
She smiles at my daughter, and I can see her tracing Soph’s features, looking at how much she looks like me.
“I’m going to show them around the place and help them get settled. Will you have Steven bring up extra keys please?”
Lisa nods, and I motion for the girls, my girls, to walk ahead of me to the living area. The first thing I want to show them is the view. I have the same one from my apartment, but I feel like seeing it in a space that is meant for them would be better. The main area of the apartment is an open floor plan and one whole side of the room is a floor to ceiling window, just like mine. The only difference is that the furnishings are softer looking than mine. The couches are a light gray color and covered in purple pillows. There are vases of flowers placed all around the apartment, and it has a homey feeling to it. Lisa did a good job at giving the place a woman’s touch. The curtains are drawn, and as I push the button for them to part, Sophia lets out an excited gasp and rushes over to my side, gripping onto my pant leg.
“We’re so high up!”
Her eyes are glued to the window and wide with excitement. You can see all of the buildings that surround us, and just past it all, the trees of Central Park.
“We are. The only thing above us right now is my apartment, and then above that is the roof. When we are done here, I can show you what’s up there.”
Her wide blue eyes, so much like mine, look up at me, and already I have so much love for this little girl. Tanya steps up next to us, and I can tell that she is staying as far away from the windows as possible.
Even if she doesn’t remember why, she’s still afraid of heights.
The thought strikes me as funny, but it’s also fascinating how she’s still the woman I knew and yet so different at the same time. Little things, like her fear of heights, have been showing themselves, and I find comfort in the things that remind me of the woman before the accident.
“You have access to the roof?”
“Yep, there are only two ways to get to it. A staircase in my place and a service elevator for the staff to reach it.”
She nods, still looking nervous to be so close to the windows. I take pity on her and close the curtains again.
“Come on, I want to show you to your rooms.”
I take Sophia’s hand and lead them through the hallway to the right of the living room, but before we can get to the room, my phone chimes in my pocket. I pull it out and see it’s from Jillian.
“I’m actually going to have to leave you two to explore the place on your own. It’s work, and it seems that there is some kind of emergency that I’m going to have to take care of. You guys look around, set your things up, and I will be back tonight.”
I put my phone away, and Sophia looks up at me with a sad expression.
“But what about the surprise on the roof?”
I kneel down in front of her and nudge her chin with my knuckle.
“I’ll just have to show you another day. I’m glad you two are here. I’ll see you later.”
I stand and head back to the main area, Tanya and Sophia shuffling behind me. I can hear Tanya whispering to Sophia about something. When I reach the front door, I turn to smile at them and find Sophia wrapped in her mother’s arms, her head resting on her stomach and a frown on her face. Tanya’s expression makes me pause for a moment. She has placed a mask of indifference on her face, but I can see the anger burning in her eyes.
I want to ask her what’s happened, but my phone starts ringing, so I have to answer it and get going. I make a mental note to ask her about it later before turning and leaving the apartment. I’m completely unaware of how leaving right then was a colossal mistake.