20. Chapter 20
LUNA
Sleep evaded me last night because nothing made sense.
After being under the impression that all this time Oliver avoided me for a reason - that he only ever saw and treated me as the hired help- it is a confusing contrast to last night: the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me. It was only for a few seconds.
It wasn’t fuelled by frustration, hatred, or a random burst of lust.
Nothing, as he had expressed towards me in the past; it was the opposite. Full of passion, as he yearned for it, as if that wasn’t the first time, he pictured himself doing it.
For god’s sake, you could understand my point of view. I mean, the man even cracked a joke, like an ordinary human being. Something I never thought possible for him.
Surly Bastard made me laugh.
Twice, the second time on purpose,
Something I didn’t even know was possible; I didn’t even think a day would come when I didn’t want to poke a hole in his chest or scream at him for ignoring me like a sullen child, and yet the man I saw yesterday was like a completely different person, in more ways than one.
The kiss aside, the comfortable silence we shared.
How deeply he listened to my answer to his question.
The fact that he did not attempt to make fun of me or belittle my attachment to the care home. It made my heart drum to a whole new beat…and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Having a harmless crush on how attractive he is was stressful enough.
But now this?
I don’t know what’s going to happen now or how my body will react the next time I see him.
I hadn’t seen him this morning, but Theo did run up and say goodbye to him when we left.
He’ll be avoiding me for the next, however long it takes to forget what we shared last night…
I get lost, wrapped in the events of last night in my mind, when Gran pulls me back to earth.
“What is with you today?” she questions, asking me if I can get the door.
“Nothing, I’m just a little tired, that’s all.” I lie, hoping it’s enough to throw her off as I use a tea towel to clean my hands and get the door, while she and Theo set the table.
He’s over the moon when I told him he was coming with me this morning. He has been speaking about Gran and the others nonstop all week, and my whole reason for confronting Oliver last night was all for his benefit.
With my mind doing a full loop around making Oliver the common denominator, I don’t remember opening the door or hugging both LJ and Macy until I feel someone squeeze my arm.
“Lulu? You alright?” Macy asks, as I take a look around at the others in the room, wondering why I’m still holding the door open.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m a little tired, that’s all.” I repeat convincingly, closing the door and heading back to the kitchen. I hear Macy attempting to come after me, but Gran stops her.
“Don’t mind her and let me say hi to my grandbaby,” she coos, no doubt with her hand going straight for Macy’s belly, hoping to feel the baby kick.
I’m grateful she does it, as it gives me a few minutes to recollect myself. Macy has always been sharp like a police dog.
I wasn’t ready to tell her about last night or participate in family dinner, what with everything going on in my head, so I needed a little time to recharge. I doubt Gran knows any of this, but I can sense they know I need a little time alone to collect my thoughts.
Theo and I can be here for a few hours’ tops, then I can go home, shut away in my room and give my mind free rein to wander.
All I had to do first was survive the family dinner.
****
You know, surprisingly, dinner didn’t go too badly. We had Jerk chicken and rice, which Theo was ecstatic about. He told everyone how excited I was to go home and record it on his food chart because once he put today’s meal in the chart, he’d be able to make his first wish.
I couldn’t believe I’d been working as his nanny for almost a month now. It felt like so long ago, and so much has happened. It all felt a little surreal.
As we ate, we received good news that LJ had received the promotion he’d been wanting, gaining the pay increase he’d hoped for and that he and Macy didn’t have long before the little one arrived.
I remember when she and LJ first told us she was pregnant, and now I was weeks away from meeting my niece or nephew.
Things really were moving fast.
Gran’s news of the week was that she went back to church for the first time since she broke her hip, and Theo’s was all about how he saw the new Super Mario movie with his brother…
and there it was. Until that moment, I’d forgotten all about him.
Being at family dinner was usually such a good distraction; it made it slightly easier to forget about a certain sun-kissed hunk.
So, of course, that just left me.
Usually, it had been a joy to be the heart of gossip at Sunday dinner. But this time, all it did was cause the anxiety in my gut to build upwards, so much so that I could taste it in my throat. All I could think about was the kiss Oliver and I shared last night.
But I knew there was no way I could share that, not when I didn’t even know what it meant.
The evidence coating my cheeks was a dead giveaway that something did happen this week.
Luckily, the only person who would have noticed it was Macy, and if she did notice, she did not attempt to force it out of me in front of the others - Thank God.
Then I suddenly remembered something, before I caught a glimpse of what Oliver tasted like on my tongue, about how we’d gotten to that point. The hilariously outrageous accusation he made was the perfect cover-up as to why I was slightly on edge.
Well enough to fool Gran and LJ.
As I explained in detail what had happened after Theo had gone to bed last night, the whole room burst into laughter, including me.
I hadn’t gotten all the laughter out of my system.
How could I not? It was still so ridiculous.
I mean, Oliver was really stomping around and avoiding me like a child, all because he thought I had a boyfr-
Oh my god.
That can’t be it.
I asked myself quickly, climbing down from my laughter with the realisation that there was a newfound possibility that Oliver reacted the way he did, not because he was concerned about Theo being around, but because he was jealous.
There’s no way.
But at the same time, the man I was sure couldn’t stand being around me was the complete opposite last night. Made me laugh, listened to me and kissed me.
The heat of my cheeks darkened when I forced myself to join in the laughter, expressing how funny his facial expression was, but on the inside, I was freaking out.
My heart suddenly started to pound, and my breathing hitched at the thought of Oliver finding me attractive; my mind was quickly falling into its habit of overthinking every situation, and I had to reel myself back in.
Not only was I with my family right now, but I couldn’t fall apart now, not when I still had to act as if nothing was wrong until I could get Theo home.
So, with the clearing of my throat, I ignored the potential breakdown I was due to have later on when I’m alone in my room and enjoy the view of Macy laughing so hard she held her stomach as an anchor to keep her right. Gran was sitting back in her chair, laughing, whilst slapping her knee.
The funniest thing, though, was seeing Theo do the same. I was pretty sure he had no idea what everyone was laughing about; he was just happy to be a part of it. That pang that happened earlier returned, reminding me that I loved having Theo be a part of my family, like he belonged here.
Once everyone was all laughed out, I left out the part about Oliver and me having a heart-to-heart and our brief taste of intimacy and went straight on to explain that he was embarrassed about what he said, so he’ll likely spend the next week avoiding me, which wasn’t a complete lie.
He will be avoiding me, but only he and I knew why, and I preferred to keep it that way for now.
A while later, we all sat in the living room, reminiscing about the old days. Theo was long gone. He was exhausted from the day, and I’m pretty sure the food had something to do with his sudden sleepiness.
Which is why I came prepared, changing him into his PJs once dinner was over and making use of his spare toothbrush I keep in his ‘going out bag’.
After playing a single round of Mario Kart with LJ so he could try to practise drifting, he passed out in my lap whilst Gran reminisced about how much she missed when we were kids and what we were like.
It was kind of weird hearing about our childhood through Gran’s eyes, as we never saw her much being the family breadwinner and all. She knew all kinds of little things we weren’t aware of, but then again, she and Ji-ji shared everything.
We had finally slipped past the missing elephant in the room, wishing there was a way to feel Ji-ji’s presence in the room again, when someone suddenly knocked on the door.
We were all grateful for the distraction, but little did I know that none of us would be prepared for who was on the other side.
OLIVER
Turn back.
This is a fucking mistake.
What the hell was I even doing here? I asked myself, pressing my fingers into the bridge of my nose, but the worst part was that I had already knocked on the door, so leaving was no longer an option.
I straightened up in time for an elderly black woman, who looked younger than her actual age. She dragged her eyes up to look into mine.
Apart from her salt-and-pepper hair colour and the rich colour of her skin, I could see what similarities she and her granddaughter share, and just like her grandchild, she’s tiny compared to me, but looks strong enough to hold her own with anyone who dared to cross her.
The strong vibe of a firecracker with a soft centre enveloped around her, making me think of the kind of grandma who wouldn’t be afraid to tell you when you’re wrong but was also the kind to bake you cookies when you were sad.