23. Chapter 23 #3
I hadn’t walked to my office; I went in the opposite direction.
Instead of turning right, I walked straight ahead, stopping at the threshold of the kitchen, and there she was.
Her naturally curly locks tangled in a messy bun, dressed in an oversized T-shirt with a polar bear on it and a pair of workout leggings that hugged the thickness of her thighs.
You’d think after seeing her earlier, I wouldn’t be so panicked, but you’d be wrong.
My heart goes crazy at the sight of her, thumping like it wants out of my chest; it is freaking out the longer I study her, from the surprised expression on her face to the way her brows knit together, the stronger the beating gets.
Neither of us says anything, but when I realise I’m staring far too long, I clear my throat and act as if I came in here with a purpose.
Approaching the fridge, I open it to fetch a bottle of water, but the closer I get to her, the hotter the room turns.
Luna still hasn’t said a word, but I can feel her studying me.
Do I have something on my face? Because I can’t understand why she is looking at me as if she’s figured me out. I do my best to ignore her and try to drink my water in peace.
“…Oliver? Is everything okay?” She asks with a soft tone, stopping the bottle from reaching my mouth.
Shit.
How long was I staring at her? cause how else did she figure out how unhinged I feel right now? I don’t have time to figure it out as she takes a step closer to me, entering my personal space, and her strawberry scent floods my senses.
God, anything but this scent.
I close my eyes for a second, trying to ignore what this woman does to me, and my suspicion that she’s on to me only grows when I open my eyes again and take in her gentle gaze, a stark contrast to her glare earlier.
The kind that makes me want to crumble against her, but I’m not crazy enough to get that close to her, not again.
I don’t trust anything that might come out of my mouth, so I stay silent, but that doesn’t feel right either. The more she stares at me, the more I can feel myself sweating, the weaker I feel, and the thinner I can feel my walls getting.
My chest starts to hurt from the way my heart is trying to beat its way out. I avoid looking her in the eye while putting my water down on the counter, deciding that right now, the best thing to do is leave the room as soon as possible.
I can’t be in her presence any longer.
But our eyes accidentally meet when she tugs my forearm to stop me from leaving. As I turn to see her softer expression that offers the very safe haven I can’t admit I want to take refuge in, suddenly, all the push and pull I’ve been doing no longer feels worth it.
The chains on the cage inside me snap off.
My walls collapse…and I let go.
I don’t understand what that truly means until her tiny body is pressed against mine, hands as soft as silk, swoop their way around my back, and as she pushes on her tiptoes, her head tucks itself on my shoulder, fitting like the missing puzzle piece I didn’t know was missing.
I’m hugging Luna…a-and she’s hugging me back.
When was the last time I hugged someone?
Or the even sadder question: when was the last time someone hugged me? The sadness pooling in my stomach swirls, but it fades almost immediately, along with the abandonment, guilt, and exhaustion I carried on my back when I came in.
I’ve always relied on Theo as my breath of fresh air; he was the one who helped me forget my demons, but this one embrace, the first embrace from someone I barely know, is giving me a sense of relief I didn’t think was possible. I feel like…I can breathe.
I’m not entirely sure what’s happening right now, but I wrap my arms tighter around her waist while I try to figure it out. Her body stiffens at my touch, but Luna does not attempt to let go. Instead, she pulls me closer, shifting her arms out to lock around my neck.
My heart rate shows no sign of slowing down the longer we stay in this embrace. Making it harder for me to figure out what this is and why something so trivial as craving and receiving a hug has me showing vulnerability I’ve never shown to anyone.
Why am I no longer feeling on edge when I can feel Luna’s body tingling against mine?
The subtle rise and fall of her breathing, the rapid sound of her heart pounding between us, is the only part that seems panicked, whereas the rest of her body embraces me with open arms, allowing me to sink into her touch.
The faint sounds of Theo playing Mario Kart echo in the background, but I can barely hear them. It feels as if Luna and I are the only two in the world right now, and her arms around me are all I ever want to experience.
Yet, I don’t find myself pulling away; instead, I keep her so close, there’s barely an inch between us. Our eyes lock, and our chests rise in sync as if we feel the same thing. Was her heart beating so fast that it felt like it wasn’t beating at all - like mine was?
Was she just as confused as I was right now?
Most of all, was she leaning in the same way I was right now?
Joined at the hips, but it still didn’t feel like enough.
One of my hands abandoned its position on her waist and made its way up to cup the back of her neck.
I can feel her body trembling with excitement at my touch, and before I can talk myself out of it, I tug her neck forward, crashing my lips against hers.
Basking in the sweet taste of her peach lip balm and her intoxicating fruity scent.
Feeling her melt into the kiss is all the permission I need to glide my tongue over her juicy bottom lip.
After she permitted me to enter her mouth, how is it that I still wanted more?
The strain of her clinging onto my neck tightly, the wrestle of our tongues and my bulk of a body towering over hers, yet I craved more.
I’m not religious, but best believe I thank God that she didn’t resist when I grab her waist, diverting us around as we tango our way backwards until her back touches the counter.
We’re reaching levels of intimacy that would no longer be possible to come back from, and yet the voice inside my head screams:
More.
More.
More.
I can’t stop myself, deepening the kiss, lost, and mesmerised by her lips.
God, I’m seconds away from hoisting this woman up and fucking her into next week. My cock was far gone, rock hard and doing its best to battle its way out of my slacks between us, the moment this kiss started.
There’s only a speck of self-control left, but it’s evaporating by the second. It takes what Luna did next to really seal the deal. A hum of pleasure, temporarily parting our kiss of desperation.
“I DID IT!!” words that bellow from the living room, followed by a victory laugh and screams of joy before the sound of small feet pad their way through the hall and into the kitchen, snapping us back to reality.
Jerking away from Luna as if she’s lava itself, she jumps away at the same time, sliding in the opposite direction of me with her head low and her cheeks bright red as evidence of what we just did.
“I DID IT! I DRIFTED ON MARIO KART!! ALL BY MYSELF.” Theo cheers in excitement as he stops between us, bouncing with pride.
Luna bounces back slightly quicker than I do by dropping to her knees and pulling Theo into a hug, then picking him up and squeezing him so tightly he bursts into a fit of giggles.
“You did?? Wow! I’m so proud of you, Theo!” she sings in a tone matching her statement - full of pride. The rosiness of her cheeks could now be mistaken for waving my six-year-old in the air.
“Ollie, did you hear what I said?” Theo asks as Luna puts him back on the ground.
I turn to him with a big grin on my face.
“I did, but I’m afraid I don’t believe you, buddy! You’ll have to prove it!” I provoke him in a teasing way.
“I can prove it, come watch!” Theo declares, stomping his foot before racing off back towards the living room. I begin to follow him, but the sound of her voice stops me in my tracks.
“Oliver,” she pauses, struggling to mention the very thing I wish she wouldn’t. “W-we have to talk about what just happened,” she murmurs, as I flash back to the first time I kissed her; she was the same way. That being the exact reason, I shouldn’t have allowed this to happen again.
“Hurry up, Ollie! I want to show you my drift.” Theo beamed from the living room as I continued towards him.
“No, we don’t,” I mumble back while she’s still in earshot. It pains me to see the way she slumps against the counter after my response, but I ignore it and go to Theo so he can show me his new trick.
I have to say I was impressed at how quickly this little boy advanced at things, but if I was being honest with myself, what happened in the kitchen loops in my mind like endless torture whilst I play a round with Theo before heading upstairs and helping him get ready for bed.
I’d just shut her down for the second time, but that didn’t stop my body from craving her again, like trying a drug for the first time, then a second time.
I denied it had any effect the first time, but after the second hit, I needed another, so much so that it was more necessary than breathing.
But I can’t do it; I can’t give in again, because if I did?
It’s truly game over for me.