38. Chapter 38
LUNA
I honestly don’t know how I made it through the rest of this year without falling to pieces, but I do know that if I am thankful for one thing, it’s my family.
The very same people with whom I shout, scream, laugh and cry.
They may not agree with everything I do, but they support me regardless, with no questions asked.
How could I not love them?
Especially after LJ and Macy took me in despite having a newborn. Okay, yes, do I currently share a bedroom with a seven-month-old? Have we spent many nights and mornings crying together?
Yes.
But I think it’s what formed our bond.
My adorable little nephew Leo was just what I needed, and I’d like to think Ji-ji agrees. Since heartbreak is a one-way ticket to insomnia, I had no issue taking the night shifts when LJ and Macy were too tired to move or taking Leo on a walk because Macy needed space.
Macy had a very difficult birth, so whilst healing from that and being a new mum, she was much in need of a guardian angel, aka me, because she can’t stand her husband, her words, not mine.
Once again, my family were there to catch me when I fell, but that hasn’t made it any easier. Trying to get over Oliver Walters is no easy task when I’ve been receiving consistent emails from him every week.
At first, I chose to ignore them, but after a month or so…
I gave in, reading them to myself whenever I was alone, but never replied.
He’s said over and over that he’ll right his wrong, but all I can think about is if he stood in front of me again, after all this time…
could I forgive him? After all, you can’t change people.
I do appreciate the rawness he’s shown in his last few emails.
Has he really changed?
Had he actually learned his lesson?
That just because he claims he didn’t know he was in love with me all this time, is that really enough to move on or give him another chance to rip my heart out again?
All things I can’t stop thinking about since his email last week.
I couldn’t help but wonder why he sent an early Christmas greeting instead of waiting until next week.
Did that mean he was going to show up for Christmas?
I don’t think I was ready for that. But if that wasn’t the case, then what did he mean by seeing me soon? And what’s worse is I should have gotten another email from him by now; the emails always came like clockwork.
As someone who has convinced everyone else around me that I’m 100% over Oliver, I have a poor way of showing it, as I’ve spent the last forty-eight hours refreshing my emails every hour, scrolling through my junk mail to make sure I haven’t missed the one because I originally sent them there when I wasn’t ready for any communication from him.
Using his personal email, as I did as a mistake when I first started working for him, made my heart flutter.
I know I shouldn’t be waiting for his emails.
Shouldn’t worry that I haven’t heard a peep; clearly my heart hasn’t learnt its lesson.
The lack of consistency is how Oliver and I ended whatever we were in the first place, and yet I’m soon to be a patient in the nearest mental hospital because I’m mumbling to myself on the street.
After all, my billionaire ex-boss hasn’t sent me an email in a week after he ran away before I ran away - yup, I’m definitely crazy.
Glued to my phone and in dire need of sugary snacks to cure my sadness, I ventured out to the shops when I walked into someone. Not looking where I was going - way to go, Luna. I apologised vigorously and quickly helped them pick up the books they were carrying off the ground after our collision.
“Hey, wait, you’re Luna, right?” the stranger asks, holding out my phone to me, only this wasn’t a stranger -well, not entirely.
This was a young woman who had a better relationship with Oliver than I’d ever have.
Of course, of all people…I’d run into her.
I nod, trying to remember her name… I know it resembles some jewellery.
“It’s me, Diamond! You might not recognise me; I changed my hair colour,” Diamond said. I remember now. Little did she know, though, that dying her hair dusty pink doesn’t change the fact that she’s still young and beautiful.
Oliver’s type.
I see it now - running into her is punishment for craving one of Oliver’s emails. Proof that I am not over my boss, and got attached to him all over again. Screw that stupid Surly Bastard and his addictive P.S. facts he leaves at the end of all his emails for piquing my interest.
“Yes, I remember. Your new hair looks very pretty.” I reply politely, glancing at the voluminous curls that help her perfect blue eyes pop.
Diamond seems a lovely person; I could tell from the first time we met.
She was friendly, despite my other run-in with that other calendar girl.
This one seemed respectful. Meaning, I had no reason to be rude to this ball of sunshine.
“Thank you! I really needed a change. You look great as always,” she beams with a pearly white smile, looking at me from head to toe. She was lying because I knew I looked like a hot mess right now.
Dressed in an old pair of sweatpants, a cropped tank top that didn’t hug my figure in the best way, but was oddly comfortable and kept the girls up.
I’d also put on some weight in the last few months - hence the multiple snack runs I’d made this week - but I couldn’t care less.
Then I nicked my brother’s flannel jacket on my way out, and my curls that hadn’t been washed in days were tousled into a lopsided bun.
Yeah, I went with the homeless look because I wasn’t planning to see anyone.
“Well, I’m sorry again for knocking you over, but I have to get going-” I blurt in a hurry.
“Wait! I forgot to ask: how is Oliver doing, and Theo?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me - and there it was, the one question I was hoping to avoid because I didn’t know how to answer it without falling apart.
I barely kept it together when Theo received my birthday gift; my frustration towards Oliver remained, but talking about Theo was very much an open wound for me. I missed that little boy so much.
“I no longer work for Mr Walters, and they left the country; I don’t know where,” I respond, politely again. Her gaze softens, looks like I’m not the only one who knows Oliver Walters is prone to running away when things get tough.
“It was nice seeing you.” I lie, turning on my heel, but Diamond jogs in front of me, and we bump into each other again. My boob’s collide with her exposed midriff. Damn, his perfect long-legged Barbie doll.
“Oof, sorry!” she apologised as this time the collision was her fault. “I just wanted to um-” she stumbles, glancing down at her feet, and suddenly becomes this shy, awkward person, and why did I like it?
“D-do you think you can spare some time? I’d love to buy you coffee. Maybe we could chat for a while, if you’re free?” she finishes with a smile, tucking one foot behind the other.
Did I really want to go to coffee with one of Oliver’s exes who’s unbearably nice?
No, not really. Yes, I had no plans apart from buying snacks for the K-drama marathon I planned on having once I got home, because the house would be empty since the happy family were out on a play date with Macy’s new friends.
That, and I was supposed to be putting a stop to my Oliver addiction, which I know she wants to talk about - the answer is no, brain.
Say no. This isn’t a good idea.
“Okay, sure.”
****
The answer I wanted to give wasn’t the one that came out.
That’s why I’m now sitting in a nearby coffee shop, squashed into a booth near the back, shamefully checking my emails while Diamond fetches our drinks.
Since I don’t drink coffee, I ask her to order me anything, though I can hear her ordering from here, and the concoction sounds like the cure for the common cold, which made me nervous for what she was about to present me with.
Drinks now in hand, she makes her way over to me, sitting in the booth by the window.
Diamond slides over a chocolate brownie and what she called a Cookies & Creme Frappe, minus the whipped cream, after I expressed my dislike for the stuff.
Then she wiggles her way into the opposite side of the booth, taking a sip of some kind of strawberry drink that’s drowning in whipped cream - we definitely were different.
“So listen,” Diamond starts, after putting her fruity drink down on the small coffee table in front of us. “…I don’t know what happened between you and Oliver, but if he left, it was probably for a good reason.”
Excuse me?
D-did I just hear her correctly?
Left for a good reason? Meaning that I’m the mistake he gratefully left behind? I knew this was a mistake.
Without tasting my drink or the brownie she’d brought me, I shuffle my way out of the booth, with every intention of leaving.
“N-no, no wait. I-” she stutters, closing her eyes for a moment, and scolds herself under her breath.
“Luna, I’m sorry. That isn’t what I meant.
I always seem to say the wrong thing, and now I look like a total bitch because of it,” she apologises, hitting her lips as a punishment.
I don’t understand what is happening, but I know what self-pity looks like, and right now she seems to be giving herself quite the beating.
“Please…give me a chance to explain properly,” she pleads gently, to which I sigh and sit back in the booth, and she slides my drink and snack towards me again.
“W-what I meant was, I’ve spent quite some time with Oliver.
I’m not sure if he’s even mentioned it, but we saw each other a few times before I became one of his calendar girls.
” She offers a small smile, trying really hard to be wise with her words.
It pains me to sit here and listen to her and Oliver’s riveting past, but I bite my tongue and let her continue.