45. Chapter 45
OLIVER
“If you asked me ten years ago what the saying ‘Never stop fighting for what you love’ meant to me, I would have said nothing. Because things such as love, getting married, or even having children were never something I saw happening in my future, and yet one by one, they all found their way into my life.”
“Not necessarily in that order, but they came without warning and taught me what every word meant; my younger brother, who was forced into my arms, taught me the true meaning of being a father; the gorgeous specimen sitting next to me, despite the fact she snores like an old man, taught me I was worthy of love.” I ignore the sexy glare Luna is giving me and continue.
“This journey has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it has been so freeing. A year later, I’m aware some of my scars may never heal, but despite that, I’m not too broken to receive love and thanks from her.” I gently squeeze Luna’s hand in mine.
“I now know I’m also not broken enough to give love either. I know we talk about this at least once per session, but I’d like for Luna to hear it too.” I reveal, glancing at my therapist, then next to me to make sure Luna is paying attention too.
“I still don’t believe I’ve done enough to deserve certain luxuries, but my determination to make sure I do one day will never fade.
I’m finally starting to see the things you keep telling me I’ve had inside all along.
I am learning my worth and working on being a better person every day,” I finish with a smile, as my therapist gives a nod of approval.
“Very good, Oliver. You indeed have come a long way; it doesn’t matter how many steps you take back, as long as you keep moving forward,” she states, tapping the back of her pen against her black clipboard.
“And Luna? I know Oliver only asked that you sit in on our session today, but I’d like to know what you think about Oliver’s progress,” she asks, making me panic a little.
I wasn’t prepared for Luna to speak in the session, but the way she squeezed my hands calmed both of us as she scooted forward, sitting up straight.
“I’m not sure what you want me to compare it to, but-” Luna starts, glancing at me, then at my therapist. “A part of Oliver definitely has changed for the better. His weekly sessions with you are proof of that, but outside of these sessions, the other part of him remains the same.” Luna smiles, taking a deep breath.
“The very first day I met Oliver, the first time he and I made eye contact. I thought I knew what kind of man he was, though I noticed that small something hidden behind his eyes that told me I was wrong. And I’ve seen that thing change my boyfriend into the good man I know him to be now, one that was bound to come out. ”
“Please don’t get me wrong, I still have moments that make me want to strangle the man; just the other day we got in a heated argument over whose turn it was to do the dishes before our two little ones, Theo and Mei, came running in to ask if we could have Chinese food for dinner. ” Luna pauses to laugh at the memory.
“So, we are far from perfect, and Oliver still has his days where things are his way or the highway, but at the same time, he does things that make me fall in love with him all over again,” she admits, squeezing my hand again, making me lean over to kiss her curls.
“Things like taking both our children out so I can catch up on a few extra hours of sleep before I have to get up for work, or the fact that we have two children to begin with. I can’t even describe how I felt when Oliver asked me if we could adopt Mei together.
I-” It was my turn to give her hand a squeeze to help keep her tears at bay.
“W-we were winding down from the success of opening the community centre, and we’d seen the children from the care home practically every day, but it was Oliver who noticed how hard it was for me to leave Mei, who’d cry with her body latched onto mine.
Not to mention being able to pick up where I lack in Japanese.
Her English has greatly improved, but the point is we’re a team.
The four of us. I honestly cried more in the month Oliver returned than I had the night we broke up. ”
She pauses to glance down at our intertwined fingers.
“But I’m sure you know all of this, as I know Oliver talks to you about everything, so I want to thank you for being that person.
Because of you, the strongest part of Oliver and my relationship is our ability to communicate.
Sure, there are things he still hasn’t told me, the same way there are parts of my past I’m not ready to dig up, but we’ve learned the importance of patience, and no matter what troubles we may face in the future, Oliver and I will face them together, as a family.
” Luna nods, using her free hand to wipe away the tears.
She sniffs, and I know tears are coming.
“A-and for us to even get to this step, Oliver asking me to attend therapy with me is a massive step, and for that I couldn’t be prouder of him than I am right now,” Luna adds, reaching up to wipe a tear from the corner of my eye, as I pull her into a light kiss.
“You were right, Oliver; she is a keeper.” My therapist smiles; I could tell she saw my progress, that coming over from Korea to continue our progress was worth it; it was all in her proud gaze.
I’m about to respond when Luna’s phone starts ringing.
She excuses herself and slips out of the room to answer it.
I check my watch to see that there are only five minutes left of our session, so I make the most of it by expressing my feelings about today’s plan and looking for a last-minute search for advice.
My therapist did her job, using her words to help me figure out the answer for myself. She offers a nod of encouragement for what’s to come; Luna quietly re-enters the room.
“So what did I miss?” She asks, taking her seat again.
“Tell you later.” I wink as we wrap up our session for this week.
****
Luna doesn’t let it go; she continues to try to get out of me what my therapist and I were talking about when she was on the phone, but I distract her with the list of things we need to buy before we head to Gran’s for Sunday dinner.
Then, by the time we get to Gran’s flat, I’m swarmed by children, and Luna makes her way to the kitchen to help Macy and Gran with dinner.
Meaning it’s LJ’s and my job to keep the children occupied; he takes on putting Leo down for a nap despite how hard he tries to fight it because, let’s face it, who wants to sleep when everyone else is still awake?
Poor thing has such bad fomo.
My mission is to keep Theo and Mei from screaming while the baby sleeps, and eventually the only way to do that is by pulling out the new colouring books Luna packed, because we’re trying to reduce the amount of screen time these two have.
Which only works…for all of fifteen minutes; they start to beg for Mario Kart. Mei pleads in Japanese, knowing it’s my weakness, but Luna is the only one I can let walk over me, so I come up with a new solution, agreeing to take them to the park down the road.
They run to the door as fast as they can, racing to see who can put their coat on faster while I make my way to the kitchen to tell Luna we’ll be back in time for dinner. I pull her into my embrace and kiss her temple whilst she peels carrots.
I nod at Macy and kiss Gran on the cheek before leaving, which makes her laugh with joy.
“Oliver?” Macy calls, and I turn to face her.
“Take LJ with you.” She says, and we share a look.
The wailing sound of Leo screaming at the top of his lungs fills the flat.
I nod with a smile, going to the front door where I set up the buggy and leave my two crazy kids bicker about who gets to push it to fetch LJ and Leo.
Embarrassingly, we end up having to go back twice, once for the baby bag and then for the snack bag.
But we finally reach the park, and Theo and Mei run off towards the jungle gym.
LJ and I settle on a nearby bench. Leo is still fussing, with no intention of sleeping despite being silent on the ten-minute walk it took to get here.
When I take charge, I unclip him from the buggy, throw the muslin over my shoulder and pull him into my arms. A few soft pats to his back, and the fussing slowly stops, and he begins babbling happily.
“Teach me how you did that,” LJ sighs, sinking into the bench.
“I’m afraid there is nothing to teach.” I shrug, turning to see LJ bury his head in his hands.
“Then, there’s only one solution: my son hates me.” LJ exhales; he and Macy have been having a hard time lately, with Leo refusing to nap or sleep at night and teething starting; it’s a recipe for sleepless nights.
“Leo doesn’t hate you.” I laugh, still patting his back, as the cooing noises start to fade despite the screeching noise of children playing not ten feet away.
“Then explain why I just spent half an hour trying to put him down for a nap, and it took you all of five minutes,” LJ sulks, peeking behind me to see Leo nodding off.
“Simple.”
LJ and I made eye contact.
“Children are little shits.” I laugh, making LJ laugh just as loudly, but it thankfully isn’t enough to bring Leo out of sleep.
“No, I’m serious. They love playing up for their parents, but they are angels for everyone else.
I only had Theo from the age of three, but he did this with Min-Joon all the time, used to drive me crazy.
” I roll my eyes, reliving those days when I would confide in my best friend that I was fucking up at being a parent, whilst he was a natural.
“You might have a point there.” LJ nods, turning to keep his eyes on my two kids playing hide and seek with the other children in the park.
“When is Min-Joon coming again? I can’t wait to meet him.” LJ asks, glancing at me then back at Theo and Mei’s hiding spot.