45. Chapter 45 #2
“Next week, he and Umma were meant to be here today for Sunday dinner, but something went wrong with his project, so they can’t come until Wednesday,” I explain, feeling sad I wouldn’t have my best friend on a day like this, but the good news was, even though things were still awkward with LJ at times, I plan to make a friend out of him, Especially since I finally wore down Macy meant I was halfway there.
I check over my shoulder to see Leo is sound asleep, and LJ puts the date in his phone to make sure he remembers to take off work next week.
“LJ, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” I blurt before my brain can convince me otherwise, as I lay Leo back in the buggy.
“What is it?” LJ asks, placing a blanket over his son, then turns to me.
My hands suddenly feel clammy, and my throat runs dry; my heart rate is climbing, but I close my eyes and remember what my therapist told me earlier.
I take a deep breath, then voice the words I’ve wanted to say from the day Luna and I got back together.
****
The talk with LJ went better than I thought. I know that was due to Macy having words with her husband beforehand, but I got what I set out for. There were a few tears shed and a firm grip on the shoulder, but after a tight bro hug, I could already feel a brotherly bond forming.
We spent another twenty minutes talking there before calling it a day. Considering they never stopped to ask for snacks, and dinner was probably ready by now, so better head back to Gran’s with hungry bellies.
Once we reached the flat again, LJ went to put Leo down in his old room, Macy hustled Theo and Mei out of their coats and to the kitchen to wash their hands, I found my girlfriend setting the table, where I was able to steal a kiss, then going into the kitchen to help Gran bring the food to the table.
“??????”, we declare in unison, our hands pressed palm to palm, seated at the table. Then, after Gran digs into her portion of curry, Luna and I dish the children’s food out first, then our own, and everyone eats with gusto.
We’ve all been looking forward to this meal all week, given that last week we had to cancel cause there was just too much to do back at the community centre now that the language school was in full swing, Gran was busy with her new friend and LJ, and Macy overslept from the horrors of teething pain Leo had in the middle of the night.
But what was important is that today we were all together as a family, and after our stomachs were full enough, we slipped into the tradition of what we all did this week.
Gran took the lead by telling us she signed up to try Yoga.
One of her friends at church finally convinced her, but she was more interested in the flexibility it would give her.
Poor LJ choked on his drink. Then Macy told us how her first week back at Kaine it was still hard to believe I left a job I had worked half my life to get, and yet I don’t regret it, because this way I get to be closer to Luna and do much more to help others then I ever did helping arseholes get out of lawsuits they deserved, no more helping them sue employees who didn’t deserve it.
Besides, thanks to my shares, I made sure Macy would be well cared for once I was gone; otherwise, the company would surely feel my wrath.
I briefly mentioned to Macy that if she ever wants to become a freelance paralegal, she could always work in my small law firm, as her help would be greatly appreciated on my pro bono cases.
Surprised by the offer, she raised her eyebrows at me, saying she would think about it. Then LJ was next, mentioning he was up for a promotion at work that offered more flexibility and the option to work from home a few times a week.
We all congratulated him; Theo and Mei clap far too loudly, but everyone, including me, found it adorable. As it was their turn next, they decided to share their turn and announce their new high scores on JustDance and how badly they beat me yesterday while Luna was working.
I hate that stupid game; no matter how hard I practice, I just can’t get the hang of it.
Theo and Mei, being the little shit’s they are, go into detail about how much I suffered, fighting to catch my breath last night.
There was even a nudge that I was an old man, which made everyone at the table laugh, including Luna.
My jaw ticked in embarrassment as I thought about a way to get back at those two, who promised me we wouldn’t bring up what happened yesterday and yet I was the source of laughter, much like I’ve always been at the Jackson family table.
But the odd part was that I wasn’t mad. In fact, I couldn’t feel more loved being the butt of the joke; I was happy to be here and glad to be a part of this family.
Luna put her hand to my thigh under the table and squeezed it.
I turned to see her give me that look in her eye that says, ‘I’ll make it up to you later,’ meaning I only had to put up with the ridicule for a little while longer; I didn’t need her offer to please me later when we were alone, but who was I to refuse?
The laughter in the room was far too infectious for me not to join in, so I did.
We laughed so hard and so long that eventually all of us forgot what we were laughing at.
“So Luna, it’s your turn,” Gran says as everyone quietens down. I turn to see Luna look at me. I know what she wants to say, but she respects my privacy, so she tries to find something else to mention instead.
“Actually, Luna she pleaded that I didn’t have to, and I fought back, expressing that I didn’t mind.
“We weren’t working like we said we were today; instead, Luna came to Therapy with me,” I admit with a small smile. The room falls silent for a few moments, then Gran stretches out her hand over the table, reaching for mine. I lift my free hand and let her grasp it tightly.
“We’re all very proud of you, sweetheart.
You need to know that,” she states proudly, showing off her sweet, wrinkled smile as I look around the table to see Macy and LJ both smiling the same way, nodding in agreement.
Theo and Mei had no idea what was going on, but they joined in, offering me a beaming grin, each covered in curry sauce all over their faces.
My eyes then make their way over to Luna, who’s dabbing the corner of her eyes when Gran squeezes my hand again for my attention.
“Oliver,” she calls softly. “We know how hard you’ve been trying to right your wrong, but as the head of the family, it’s my job to say you’ve done enough.
” Gran recites, patting my hand gently. “We may still laugh at your defence, but that is something we only do with family, and you are just that. A member of our family,” she declares, patting my hand.
My eyes grow misty.
“So never feel embarrassed to confide in us or reach out for help when you need us.” She finishes as Luna reaches up to wipe the tear running down my cheek.
Macy is next to scrape out of her seat with teary eyes, making her way around, standing behind me and wrapping her arms around my neck, resting her chin in my hair.
LJ isn’t far behind; he stands at my side and grips my shoulder.
Accepting the fact I can’t hold it back any longer, I burst into tears as Luna’s grip around my thigh gets tighter, while she scoots closer to me.
Macy is seconds away from choking me, but I accept the gesture.
Theo and Mei are the last to wiggle out of their seats, where Mei sneaks under the table to appear in my lap, and Theo takes his place on Luna’s lap.
I let go of Luna’s thigh and use it to hide my face while I sob.
My heart feels as if it’s going to burst. I’d just been told something I never thought possible for someone as fucked up as me and yet…
Here I am, currently suffocating from the love in this room, love from the family I always yearned for.
I’ve never felt so loved, and for the first time I feel as if I genuinely deserve it.
Gran brings me back to earth, gripping my trembling hand as hard as she can.
I rub my hand down my face, closing my eyes, and reach up to grab one of Macy’s arms around me.
She rests her cheek against the top of my head, and LJ’s grip on my shoulder serves as a silent anchor.
Here, my family provide me with the space to express my emotions.
I take a moment to soak up the love and allow my new family to welcome me, embracing me in a tight embrace.
****
A while after our emotional display of affection, the mess of dinner is cleared away.
Theo and Mei are playing in Luna’s old bedroom, which is set up as a playroom for them now, with Macy and LJ keeping an eye on them.
Gran was in the kitchen putting away the last of the dishes, and Luna was on the sofa, playing with baby Leo, who woke up and broke the family hug apart - he clearly hated being the odd one out.
I excused myself to the bathroom, washing my face, letting the cold water allow me to refocus.
I wasn’t expecting what happened earlier, so I’m being thrown off today’s goal, but as I dry my face and stare at myself in the mirror, I’m glad that happened because it only proved that there isn’t a more perfect way to do this.
I take another deep breath and freshen up.
I give Gran the signal, a gentle squeeze on her shoulder, on my way to the living room. She dries off her hands and retreats to her bedroom. I walk in to see Luna playing peek-a-boo with Leo.