40. Talk to me, Azizam #3
"It bought me a few precious moments as he reverted to his skin.
Fortunately Isla who'd followed us quietly took that opportunity to smash a heavy stone vase at his head.
He flung her aside but was dazed from the blow to his head.
I used that leverage to kiss him harder, sucking more of his life force, while stabbing him in his heart with a hidden dagger I'd strapped to my thigh but was unable to reach earlier.
"He didn't have the energy to turn into stone, with the rate at which I was draining him. Finally I found his sword he must have flung nearby in haste and beheaded him in one slice. When I could get away from his twitching body I found Isla lying on the floor bleeding from a head wound.
"Jadeth had smashed her against the wall and she was only human.
She extracted a vow from me, a favor owed to her successors with her dying breath.
If it weren't for her, Jadeth would've succeeded in raping me, and who knows done what else.
I lost my childhood caretaker who was also my only friend, and the supposed first love of my life, all in one day. "
I didn't realize when it happened, but my face was pressed to a warm wide chest and steel arms were enveloping me in an all encompassing embrace. Azael's voice shudders from above into my ear. "Azizam...forgive me. I didn't know." He sounds gutted.
With my arms limp at my sides Azael's entire body trembles, whether from rage or regret I don't know. But I feel comfortably numb. My cold cheek feels warmed by the heat of his body.
His heart thumps loudly against my ear, soothing my frayed edges. Talking about a past I have guarded so well until now is difficult. A past I had buried because the pain of it even after centuries is fresh.
After a few moments I slowly withdraw from Azael's warm embrace and turn sideways, not ready to look into his eyes that see too much. I feel exposed, like a crab without its shell.
He lets me go reluctantly but holds onto my hand. Snow sits on a purple azalea bush watching us with head slightly tilted. I take a step in her direction but Azael holds me back with a curious frown on his face as he looks at my torso.
A beat later he says in a pained voice, "I can only imagine how these memories might have plagued you leading up to the Veilmoon. An apology is inadequate but I am sorry, Azizam. For not being there for you, in that phase of your life. It's only words, but know that I mean it."
"I did find you a few decades later while I went around Mytherra trying to find myself. I overindulged freely. I needed to erase that chapter of my existence. A journey that brought me to all seven of you. I decided to take you as my chosen mates so I never have to go through something like that, ever again. Starving, helplessly dependent.”
Azael closes his eyes for a moment, a pained look crossing his face. He holds my hand tighter when I try to withdraw it from his warm grip.
“It's unfortunate that things have come to pass, but every phase of life does come to an inevitable end." I say gloomily, letting out a sigh.
"No." Azael denies with a violent look in his eyes that makes me shrink away involuntarily. I silently curse at myself as his face falls.
He swallows thickly before trying again, "No, Azizam.
We're not a phase. You promised us an eternity and we shall hold you to that.
We lost our way for a while, made irreversible mistakes.
But we're not that gargoyle scum. We’ll never starve you, or imprison you.
You are the light of our lives. And we need you just as you need us.
We'll prove it to you. I will prove to you that it's safe to trust us with your heart again.
" He promises, determination radiating from him.
But I've heard pretty words before and I feel so jaded that it's difficult to believe the veracity of such vows.
"Look at that magnolia tree." I point to the huge tree on our left. "It's said that magnolia trees are so ancient that they predate bees. We all think that flowers need bees for pollination. But the magnolia has defied nature’s expectations."
Staring into Azael's eyes, I state in a voice wrapped in steel, "I don't need you Azael. I don't need any of you. And you sure as hell don't need me. I've been on my own for a long time. And I can perfectly manage on my own from here on. In fact, I can always take new partners should I choose to."
The corner of his lips lifts slightly as he raises my fingers and presses a feathery kiss to my knuckles, taking me by surprise.
"It's the beetles who made the magnolias bloom, Azizam.
Before the bees. And you can choose any bees in the future but the beetles won't leave.
You see, they are addicted to the sweet nectar of the magnolia bloom.
Simply can't live without it." He ends on an over confident whisper, pressing another lingering kiss to my fingers.
He smirks when he feels my reflexive shiver, then walks away leaving me with jumbled thoughts and the tinkling chirps of Snow hopping around flower bushes.