Chapter 44
After about a half hour Ronan turned off the main road and onto a dirt one. I tried to pay attention to where we were going. Leaning forward, I looked at the speedometer over Ronan’s shoulder. I pulled out my phone and messaged Maddox again.
I looked at my phone hoping Maddox would text back.
He hadn’t; but I knew he was seeing them.
My phone indicated that. After winding our way through the woods for about ten minutes we came to a cabin, and I slid my phone back in my pocket.
I didn’t want Ronan to know I had it, or that Maddox was on his way.
He opened the back door, and I got out of the car.
“Ye will be safe ‘ere,” he said walking toward the small cabin.
He unlocked the door and stepped aside so I could enter first. Inside was a shell of the cabin it used to be with one bed and a small kitchen area with a table and two chairs. There was a fireplace in front of the bed.
“How long are we going to stay here?” I asked wondering what in the hell Ronan was actually thinking.
“As long as it takes for de job to get done. Den we will move to a new location until all de dust settles.”
“You told me you were taking me back to the compound. You never said you were turning me over. You’re a lying piece of shit! So, who is trying to kidnap me? How did Amelia really know? Are you sure she isn’t just using you to get to me?”
“She wants ye out of Maddox’s life and if ye and I are together den ye are.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Ronan. Maddox works for The Order, and I run it. How would we be out of each other’s lives if you and I were together?”
“Well, one of ye wouldn’t be able to maintain deir position within De Order.”
“Why would we ever agree to that?”
“I don’t imagine dat ye would. Not willingly.”
He smiled and I slapped him across the face.
His smile got bigger, and in a flash, he was pinning me against the wall.
His mouth was on mine trying to force it open with his tongue.
I was not going to give in to him; no way in hell.
I started slapping him, trying to get him off me.
He pulled me away from the wall and then violently slammed me back against it.
“Stop trying to fight me. I love ye, why can’t ye see dat?” I spit in his face.
“And I fucking hate you!!”
“Ye ungrateful bitch!” he screamed in my face as he drew back and smacked me—hard.
My head bounced off the wall, and everything went black.
* * *
When I opened my eyes again, my head was pounding.
The cabin was dark; the only light was from a single candle that sat on the table.
It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust—everything was fuzzy.
I looked around slowly and realized Ronan had closed the heavy curtains in the small cabin.
He was sitting in one of the chairs looking extremely worried—slightly on the verge of madness.
I began to sit up slowly, drawing his attention.
He immediately crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to me.
I jumped and clutched the headboard, curling into a ball against it.
“Joslyn, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make ye ‘ate me.” He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder.
“I love ye so much and when I knew ye were wit ‘im it made me crazy. Ye wouldn’t listen to me—ye were shutting me out.
If ye really knew ‘im, dere is no way ye would ‘ave chose ‘im.
He uses every woman I ‘ave ever seen ‘im wit.
Anytime I ‘ad to deal wit ‘im—it was a different girl. I’m not like ‘im.”
“No, you aren’t like him. Ronan, I didn’t make the decision because I wanted to hurt you.
That was the last thing I wanted. I care for you, and I didn’t want to lose you as a friend and colleague.
I made a decision though, and I was very clear on what it was.
” I wasn’t looking at him—I couldn’t. I had no clue what he actually planned to do with me.
“Ye didn’t even give me a chance. I didn’t know I was competing wit anyone.”
“It wasn’t a competition—it was life. I didn’t plan it. I don’t think he did either.”
“Oh, dat motherfucker planned it! He knew ‘e wanted ye, and ‘e would do anything to get ye. Does he plan to stay wit ye or just treat ye like every other woman for de last two-’undred years?”
“I guess I don’t know, but I wanted to find out.
I think if you love me as much as you think you do then you could have waited.
You keep saying that all he was going to do was hurt me.
So, he would have hurt me, and I would have turned to you for comfort.
You were familiar and would have reminded me how sweet and innocent my love for you was.
My first love—if you would have just let it happen.
Why didn’t you let me come to you!? You could have been my hero!
Look what you did, Ronan! You wrecked our love story—don’t you see that!
?!” Tears were streaming down my face. I was screaming from desperation, from sheer terror and praying his brain would play along with me.
I wasn’t sure what the hell I was doing, but I was definitely messing with his head. He looked at me and his face lit up. Yup—he was completely nuts.
“Ye ‘ad de whole thing planned out? See, ye wanted me to save ye from all of dis. Ye do love me.”
He leaned in and started kissing me. I didn’t kiss him back, but I also wasn’t going to get throttled again.
“No, I said you fucked it up Ronan! That is what could have happened, but you stole me quite literally. You are exerting power over me for you. You aren’t exerting power over someone else for me.”
“I didn’t mean to hit ye. I only wanted to kiss ye and feel ye again. I missed ye so much it was driving me crazy. I just wanted to taste yer sweet lips and feel yer body against me.”
“Have you heard anything about what happened at the compound?” I asked hoping he could give me some insight; while distracting him from wanting to touch me.
“I know dey got dere and obviously dey couldn’t find ye. I heard dere were a lot of people ‘urt and an explosion.”
“And you and I are here being cowards,” I said, staring at him blankly. Internally, I was dying and trying my hardest not to show it outwardly. I didn’t know if Maddox or anyone else was okay.
“No, I am ‘ere keeping ye safe because ye are de priority. Dat is de one thing dat yer boyfriend and I do agree on.”
“Yeah, well he doesn’t keep me safe by bouncing my head off the wall. Maybe someone else’s, but not mine.”
“Well, ‘e might not be doing much of anything anymore. I guess we wait and see. If ye would ‘ave cooperated, I wouldn’t ‘ave hit ye.”
Talking about Maddox caused him to grow cold. Talking about Maddox might get me seriously hurt.
“You mean let you rape me? Just fucking say it, you cowardly piece of shit.” I could feel anger rising in my soul.
“If I wanted to ‘ave sex wit ye I could. Ye pretend ye don’t want it but we both know differently. I bet ye like it a little rough—ye like vampires so ye must.” He leaned in close and whispered in my ear.
“I bet ye liked it when I slapped ye. What if I wrap my ‘ands around yer neck and squeeze while I’m fucking yer sweet pussy? I’d bet ye’d like it; wouldn’t ye?
How ‘ard do ye want me to squeeze? Do ye want me to bite ye too?” He ran his tongue up my earlobe, and my skin crawled just as he locked his teeth onto my ear.
He didn’t bite hard, but the message was crystal clear.
I knew the look on my face was expressing total and utter disgust. How did I miss this?
There had to be red flags that Ronan was not a good guy.
Holy shit, I was a total shit judge of character.
My stomach turned and all I wanted at that moment was my mom.
I wanted someone who truly loved me without any conditions.
Someone I didn’t have to wonder about. Just one fucking person who loved me my whole life.
Tears started to stream down my face and Ronan wiped them away.
“I love ye, Joslyn, and one day ye will love me too. It might take a while, but ye will come around.”
He ran his hand up my thigh and I froze. The tears kept coming and I was holding my breath. He leaned very close and let his lips touch my ear again.
“I remember when ye wouldn’t wait for me to get inside dat sweet pussy.”
His hand landed right between my legs, and I jumped up from the bed and ran to the bathroom. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and my body heaved as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
“You fucking disgust me,” I said, kicking the door shut as I heaved again feeling his wet saliva on my ear.
When the convulsions had subsided, and I regained my composure, I remembered my phone. Frantically, I searched my jacket. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ronan had found my phone. I was glad that Maddox hadn’t texted back. If there is a plan, then Ronan won’t know about it.
I sat in the bathroom for a long time. Ronan occasionally knocked on the door and threatened to break it down if I didn’t speak.
He was afraid I was going to escape out the smallest window I had ever seen in my life.
As far as I was concerned, I was going to die here.
No one had come; Maddox was probably dead.
I laid down on the floor and just let the tears fall.
There were no sobs; just tears. My body was numb, and I wanted to die too.
I didn’t know what Ronan had planned, but I did know it wasn’t anything good.
I wasn’t cut out for this life; Grandpa had to have known that.
Everyone always said I was the strong one.
Right now, I was the one lying on a dirty bathroom floor in a dirty cabin in the middle of the woods.
A psycho ex is holding me captive and the man who I am pretty sure was literally divinely designed for me is lying dead in a pile of rubble somewhere.
Strong was the very last thing that I felt in this moment.
There was a knock on the door. “Joslyn, are ye going to stay in dere all night?” Ronan said from the other side of the door.
“I would rather stay in here than be out there with you,” I said from the bathroom floor.
“So be it,” he responded and I heard him stomp away.