Chapter 41 #2
Sig is the only one that can challenge Weston, who pushes back against him and who he actually listens to.
After hearing about how they met, how they were thrust into a friendship based on survival, it makes sense why she is the one who can do that.
But if he won’t listen to her on this, will he listen to anyone? To me?
“Did you ever have any other plans?”
Edmond always taught me to exhaust all options when strategizing an attack, and despite this being the easiest and most direct way of getting that pouch from Dane, I still want to know if they have ever tried anything else.
“Everything we’ve come up with has always seemed too risky. Sneaking into camp has never been a possibility. Capturing Dane hasn’t either. The problem is, he never takes it off. So someone literally has to get close to him, and we can’t.”
“But I can.”
The pit in my stomach feels like it is going to swallow me whole.
I am the only one who can get that close to Dane, close enough to touch him.
I’m the only one who can get him to let his guard down enough so I can take it, hopefully, without him noticing.
I’m the only one who he’s trusted with the knowledge of replenishing it, the only one who could bring up the dust without seeming suspicious.
But I’m here, and I can’t do any of that from this ship.
Her face is somber. She knows it is the truth, and that the fate of every one of us trapped on Dawnlin lies in my hands.
“We have to convince him to let me try,” I say.
“Maybe you can. He won’t talk to me about it anymore. He says he just wants to keep looking.”
I nod. “I’ll work on it.”
I don’t know how I’ll convince him, but I won’t be able to live with myself for eternity if I don’t at least try, because unfortunately, if I don’t soon, I risk losing my chance. If Weston can keep holding on to hope of finding the dust, I can hold on to hope that he will listen to me.
“Good. The faster you can, the better,” she says.
“What are we going to do when we get it? How are we going to decide who gets to go back and who doesn’t?”
She shakes her head. “We’ll worry about that when we have to. Right now, we just need to focus on getting that pouch.”
My stomach somersaults as I think of everyone on this ship who deserves the ability to return home. All of them should be able to see their families again, and hopefully the person they came here to save. Trying to decide who to send back will be one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do.
Bile sears the back of my throat and nausea overtakes me as I realize exactly what would happen.
Weston would send me home.
My body feels numb just thinking about it.
He knows who I am, knows what I left behind in Blackwood, and that the fate of my kingdom, the kingdom he swore an oath to, lies with me.
The First Guard would never let the leader be removed, which means if I am successful, if I bring that dust back with me, he won’t hesitate to send me back.
And he would stay.
He would never choose to return to our world over giving someone else in his crew the opportunity.
He would never leave knowing there were people here that still needed protection, even if it meant breaking his oath and not being there to protect the king.
He’d sacrifice the life he envisioned to make sure someone else had a chance at theirs.
And I would never see him again.
Or Sig, or Stassia. Jorn and Auralie.
Fin.
My breaths grow shallow and tears prick at my eyes. I can’t get emotional about this. Both Brynne and Weston constantly remind me I fight with too much emotion, and stealing the dust might be the biggest fight I’ll ever be part of. I have no choice; I have to win.
“We have a problem though,” I say, thinking back to what Taril told me yesterday.
Sig waits quietly for my answer.
“Mara. She’s trying to convince them all that I’m a traitor. Taril said Dane doesn’t believe it, but I’m going to have to deal with her. There’s no way she will believe anything I say.”
The spark of an idea glitters in her eye. “What if we make it look like you escaped?”
“How would we do that?” I ask, my brows narrowing at her. “She saw me protect you and run away. She’s going to see right through it.”
Sig steps closer, excitement rising in her voice. “You could convince them it was all a ploy, that you were trying to make us believe you were on our side so you could escape. You can do to them what you tried to do to us.”
“That could work,” I say slowly, thinking through the plan.
“If we make it look like I escaped, I could use that to convince Mara that it was all an act. I could pretend that I was discovered and imprisoned again, but finally got away. That way, they really wouldn’t have any reason not to believe me. ”
“For this to work, you would have to get close to Dane again.” She meets my eyes, imploring, trying to read my emotions. “Are you alright with that?”
I know what she means by close, and it isn’t just in proximity of camp.
Close.
My stomach churns just thinking about having to pretend with Dane, having to act like I know nothing of the lies he’s spewed, the manipulation and coercion.
The thought of kissing him, touching him, and having him touch me makes my skin crawl, especially since I haven’t been able to stop thinking about another man’s lips and touch instead.
“I can handle it.” I don’t need to say anything more. Sig knows I will do what needs to be done, despite my feelings for Weston, feelings I know I haven’t been able to hide from Sig. She sees right through me, and I know that’s why she asked.
“This could work, Lennox.” I see a sparkle in her eye, and I recognize it immediately.
Hope.
Weston keeps saying he won’t give up hope that we will find the dust, or how it is replenished, but what if this is the hope we need to have? What if we have to take action, and the island has been making moves, pushing us in certain directions to allow it to happen?
“I think it could,” I say. “I just have to get Weston to believe in me.”
And let me out of his sight, which has proven to be the most difficult task of all.