Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Dawnlin always seems to know when things are happening, and tonight is no different.
Energy hums through the ship, and the crew feels more alert.
Once the suns begin descending in the sky, Weston cancels the shifts for the night and tells everyone to meet him on deck after dinner.
The mess is charged and full of whispers, as everyone eats and speculates what could have caused him to cancel a shift, because apparently it takes something big and usually dangerous for him to do so.
It’s been over a week since Sig and I started making our plans, and we have been slowly taking steps to ensure we are ready when the right moment comes.
During my shift this week, I smuggled my old set of clothes out and hid them in the tunnels, so there’s one less thing to worry about when the plan is put into action.
And by the way everything feels, something is telling me tonight might be the night.
Sig and I stand on deck behind the rest of the crew, waiting as Weston scans the group, waiting to make sure everyone is accounted for. Auralie and Stassia come up alongside us and Fin weaves through everyone’s legs, talking and laughing as he goes.
Weston waits at the top of the stairs to the quarterdeck, arms crossed and face drawn.
His eyes find mine through the crowd, and I know exactly what is happening.
He’s about to tell everyone about the dust. I give him a small nod, and he breaks contact, his gaze dropping to his boots, before clearing his throat and looking up to address the Castaways.
Silence falls, and all eyes are trained on him, the hum of energy still constant.
Small arms wrap around one of my legs as Fin squeezes in close, and I set my hand on his shoulder.
“I have some news I need to tell you all,” Weston starts.
His throat bobs, and I know he’s trying to find the courage to break everyone’s hearts, to tear away their futures.
“I found out some more information recently, and it is important you are all aware. We all know the dust is the only way to get on and off Dawnlin, and the Guardian controls the dust. You’ve all met Dane.
He brought every single one of you here, but he can’t bring you back.
That’s why you’re here, with us. We’ve been searching for a way home for years.
We’ve tried to find dust ourselves, and we still search, but we haven’t been successful. ”
I sneak a glance around, looking at the faces of the Castaways around me, expressions all ranging from confusion to hope.
“I found out recently that the dust is almost gone, and Dane doesn’t know how to replenish it.”
Weston’s jaw tenses as he waits for the words to settle. A few gasps sound from the crowd, and I look over to find Auralie, hand over her mouth as tears cascade down her face. Stassia is stoic for the first time since I’ve known her, the joy she normally wears completely leached from her body.
The moment I learned we might be trapped on the island forever, I felt hopeless and scared, but I had only just arrived in Dawnlin.
A storm of emotions must be going through each of them as they realize what Weston is telling them, and my heart breaks as I look out over the faces of my friends, the faces that have become my family, and possibly the only family I will ever have.
“It is possible that very soon, no one will be able to come to Dawnlin,” he pauses, and I can see a flash of pain on his face. “Or leave.”
Sig shifts uncomfortably next to me, but I keep my focus trained on Weston.
“I still have hope, and I don’t intend to stop searching.
I understand if any of you do not want to continue, and I won't fault you for it. I don’t know what this means for Dawnlin, and how things will change once we are all trapped here, us and them.
But I will be here for each of you for as long as I live. ”
My chest aches as I watch Weston stay strong for his crew, knowing he isn’t lying or exaggerating in his last promise.
He has already taken on the burden of leading and protecting everyone here from Dane, and he will continue to do so.
Even though he told them all today that the situation has changed, he only did so at my urging.
He doesn’t want to give up, doesn’t want to stop, and I know he will live the rest of his life searching for a way home.
Motion catches my eye and I watch Jorn jog up the steps and wrap his arms around Weston, clapping him on the back.
“We love you, Cap,” Jorn yells, releasing him to a chorus of agreements from everyone around me.
Weston scratches the back of his head, his eyes downcast, and nods to everyone.
“Alright, that’s enough,” he says. “I canceled shifts tonight because I know this is a lot to accept, and I wanted us all to be together as a crew and enjoy the evening.” His eyes find mine again for a second before looking away. “I’ll be here if anyone needs to talk.”
Murmurs start as everyone disperses, and the energy is a conglomeration of every type of reaction to this hopeless news.
Some are clearly upset, while others seem to be taking everything in the most positive light possible.
A few of the guys approach Weston, talking to him and clapping his shoulder just as Jorn had, and I smile, knowing as hard as that was for him, no one seems to blame him.
They know how much he has supported them over the years, and now they are doing the same for him.
“What does he mean, Lennox?” Fin asks, gazing up at me as he squeezes my leg a little tighter. I peel his arms off of me and sink down to his level.
“It means we might not be able to go back to our world,” I say calmly.
His eyebrows meet in the middle, and his lip starts to quiver. “So I won’t see my family anymore?”
I shake my head. “No, Fin, none of us will.”
“Will you still be here with me? And mister Weston?”
I rub my hand over his hair. “Yes, we will all be here with you. We’re not leaving you.”
If there is any reassurance I can give Fin, any light in this awful circumstance, it is this. He will not be alone, not as long as this crew exists. He may not ever see his family again, and he may be a little boy forever, but every person here loves him, and would do anything for him.
“What about Roley?” he asks, tears misting his eyes.
“I hope we can see Roley again soon,” I say.
He leaps forward, wrapping his arms around my neck and squeezing me tightly. “Lennox, I’m sad.”
“Me too, Fin. I think we’re all a little sad.” I pull him off of me and hold him at arm’s length. “But let’s try to have a little fun tonight, alright? I’m sure Weston will let you stay up late with everyone.”
“Yeah?” His eyes widen and eyebrows rise, the distraction easily working on his childish innocence.
“Yeah,” I say. “He might want you to go play some games with him.” I nod in his direction, and Fin’s face lights up.
“Hooray!” he cheers, and speeds off toward Weston, tackling his legs and swinging back and forth.
Standing again, I turn toward the girls, and the happiness Fin brought me for a moment sinks away again.
Stassia stands with her arms wrapped around Auralie’s shoulders as Auralie sobs into her chest. Tears prick my eyes, and I have to look away.
I may have known this was coming; I was the one that brought them the information, but despite being one of the newest ones on the island, it is still difficult for me, too.
Especially after everything Sig and I talked about weeks ago.
Fingers wrap around my elbow, and I startle as they pull me away. Glancing over my shoulder, I find Sig, and follow as she leads me toward the side railing, far enough away from the group to be just beyond the risk of overhearing.
“I think this is it,” she murmurs as she looks out over the deck.
“This is the most unsuspecting time, and everyone will be distracted.” She glances back at Weston, who has a group forming around him, and I look over the crew too.
People are moving crates and bringing up chairs from below.
Someone is setting up a large low barrel in the middle of the deck and organizing the seats around it.
“I think you’re right,” I say. Everyone will be too focused on processing the news and enjoying the evening to be paying attention to my whereabouts, especially if someone brings out the bottles.
“Just act normal,” she says. “I’ll be around.”
She disappears into the bustling deck, the area now transformed around me. A robust fire is burning in the barrel, and soft music floats through the air as Eirlik strums an instrument. It’s peaceful, a stark contrast to the intensity on deck just minutes before.
Auralie rests her head on Stass’ shoulder as they sit in front of the fire on a large crate. I head over toward them, noticing that Auralie’s sobs have reduced to sniffles as she stares into the fire, but Stassia has the same stoic expression as before.
“Mind if I sit?” I ask.
Stassia lifts her other arm and holds it out, giving me space to slide in next to her. She drapes her arm across my shoulders and I sidle up to her, watching the flames dance in front of us, just as they are.
“How are you doing?” Stass asks me softly.
“I’m alright,” I say. My heart aches as I watch Stassia and Auralie take this news so badly, and I can’t keep hiding from them.
From the moment I met them, they’ve been nothing but honest with and accepting of me, and I need to do the same.
I need to make sure that they know I care about each of them before heading into this eternal unknown.
“I was actually the one who told him about the dust.”
“You knew?” she asks, looking over at me, obvious shock on her face.
“I did,” I say, sinking into her side a little lower. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t say anything.”
She nods slightly and turns to stare back into the fire, the stoic mask returning. “Makes sense why you are so calm.”