Chapter 12 Arwen
I turn off my car and look down at the royal blue wrap-around dress that I’m wearing.
My jet-black hair is pulled up in a high ponytail, and my makeup is light, like always.
I look good—maybe even normal. The thing is, I know I tried extra to look my best. I’m actually excited to see Blade tonight.
I shouldn’t be, and I’m ashamed. Hell, I feel like I’m betraying Olivia.
She’s currently in her room sleeping, and I’m going out to meet with her ex.
Hell, I’m lopsided telling her where I’m going.
I could confess and tell her I’m going to try to get Blade to back off.
It’s not like that’s a lie—at least not completely.
The truth is, I agreed to dinner because I wanted to spend more time with him.
I don’t know how Olivia would react to that.
She loves Bear, but he’s gone, and there was a relationship with Blade.
What the fuck am I doing?
I get out of the car, grab my clutch, and make my way into the casino.
I’m going to find Blade and tell him this was a mistake.
I’ll tell him that he and Olivia need to talk about the past together.
That’s the smartest thing to do. Whatever pull I have toward this man needs to end.
If the half-naked secretary and the stunt he pulled at the funeral wasn’t proof of that, nothing is.
I feel better once my mind is made up—calmer even. I walk inside and look around, hoping he’s close by so I can hurry and be done with this.
“Dr. Mason, you made it.” I turn to my side and see Blade walking toward me. He’s wearing a black tux with the shirt open a few buttons and his hair pulled back and secured. The man looks dangerous, sexy, and trouble with a capital T. My brain is yelling for me to run.
“I did, but I’m afraid I can’t have dinner,” I respond, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.
He frowns as he reaches me, his finger coming out to tuck a piece of my hair that had gotten loose behind my ear. “Why not?”
“I think it would be better if you spoke directly with Olivia. This is about the two of you and I don’t factor into it.”
He looks at me for a moment and then nods in agreement. “I think you’re right. This is something Olivia and I should talk about together. If you think she could handle that, I’d like to meet with her.”
“I’ll speak to her and arrange it. I think she will be okay if she knows you aren’t meeting with her to punish her. Believe it or not, the panic attack that Olivia had at the funeral was the first one she’s had in a while. It was just too much for her.”
“That works. If she needs him, I can bring Cross with me.”
“I’ll let you know as soon as I talk with her,” I reply, feeling let down that he’s agreeing so easily to all of this. I know it’s for the best, but damn it, he could be a little upset about it.
“Sounds good,” he says, and I turn around, just wanting to get away from him at this point. I’m such a fool. “Hey, where are you going?”
I look over my shoulder at him. “Home. I’ll talk with Olivia tonight and let you know when she decides.”
“You’re not going home, Arwen,” he says, staring at me, his eyes so intense it feels like they can see through me.
“What?”
“We’re having dinner. I had the chef prepare something special. Are you ready?”
“I don’t think dinner would be a good idea.”
“Too bad. You already agreed,” he says easily.
His hand rests against the small of my back, and he literally guides me toward the elevators. “Did I mention this wasn’t a good idea?” I hiss.
“You did. I’m just ignoring it,” he chuckles.
The doors open and we step into the elevator.
My heart is running away with me. I feel like I can’t breathe.
I try to look anywhere but at him. I step to the other side of the elevator to make some room between us.
I’m acting crazy. I know it, but I can’t stop it.
I’ve always been businesslike and self-controlled when dealing with others. I can’t even manage it around Blade.
I’m so wrapped up in what I’m feeling that I don’t notice that he’s moved so that he is standing right in front of me. He puts his fingers under my chin and lifts my head. “What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours, Arwen?”
I’ve always hated that name but hearing him use it somehow makes my toes curl. “That I’m not this kind of girl.”
One of his eyebrows twitches up in a high arch, and a smile plays on his lips.
“Everyone eats, sweetheart. You’re going to love what we have waiting for us.
I’ve personally made sure we have the best chefs around for this particular restaurant.
One is a Michelin star chef. She’s very temperamental, but her food makes it worth it. ”
“It’s not about eating, you jerk. You’re being purposefully obtuse. I’m talking about the fact that I shouldn’t be having dinner with a man who just fucked his secretary in his office this morning!”
“I didn’t have sex with her this morning.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. I’d met a woman with long dark hair and haunting hazel eyes that kept staying on my mind.”
I feel my body tremble at his words. I know I can’t allow myself to believe him. But I want to. I immediately shake my head no. “You’re lying.”
“I’ve done a lot of bad things. I’ve even planned to do much worse, but I promise you I’m not lying,” he answers, not looking away from me at all.
I cross my arms and face him, ignoring the fact that the elevator chimes and the doors slide open. I notice Blade punches the button to hold the doors open, so I just push ahead to ask a question I have no business asking. “When was the last time you slept with her?”
He gives me a positively wicked grin. “I’ve never slept with her.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not stupid, Mr. Aetos.”
He reaches behind me and his hand slaps down on my ass. I screech out before I can stop myself. “You spanked me.”
“I did. I’ll probably do it again, but hopefully the next time it will be more pleasurable—for both of us.”
“That’s not happening,” I snap.
“It is, and you’ll like it. I bet if I checked right now, your panties would be wet.”
“You’re insane.”
“Probably. You don’t survive what I’ve been through and come out totally sane. Now, I have had sex with Layna. Quite a lot of it.”
“Spare me the details,” I grumble—really not wanting to hear about it.
“It’s the only reason I kept her around. I mean, hell, Arwen, I’ve been in jail for four years. I’ve been so fucking ready for sex the fabric of my boxers was giving me a hard-on.”
“Blade—”
“I’m not kidding. That’s all it was though, just sex.”
I shake my head, letting him see just how little I believe him. “I guess that’s why you brought her to the cemetery, too.”
For a second his face changes. I’d like to think he feels ashamed, but I know better than to let myself believe that.
His fingers move to my cheek, brushing against it.
I fight closing my eyes. “No. When Olivia and I were in a relationship, Layna gave her problems. I thought seeing Layna with me would hurt her. That’s the only reason. ”
I suck in an audible breath as his lips move into a grim, definitely unhappy smile. “I’m an asshole, Arwen. I can’t change that, even if I would like to.”
“I think anyone can change themselves if they really want to, Blade,” I respond, my voice hoarse and giving away more than I truly want it to.
“That’s the thing, I don’t want to change for myself. I’d only change it so you wouldn’t see me that way. What has happened to me has just changed me too much, but I wish I could be different … for you, Arwen.”
“I’m nothing to you, Blade. What you just said is crazy.”
“What if I want you to be more, sweetheart? You can’t deny there’s a pull between us that I haven’t felt for a very long time.”
“Since Olivia. Maybe if you listened to her, the two of you could find your way back—”
“I may not know much, but I do know that’s something that will never happen.
There’s no going back for me. I’m also willing to admit for the first time that I might be able to move forward for the future.
The point of me telling you all of this is that I’d like you to be a part of that future, sweetheart. ”
“Olivia is …”
“My past and your patient. I understand. That doesn’t mean we can’t explore what this is between us.”
“She’s more than that. She’s family to me now, Blade.”
“Arwen, I can’t tell you where this will go for us.
I was impulsive once, and that didn’t end well for me, my brother, or Olivia.
I won’t ever be that way again. What I do know is this thing pulling me toward you is powerful and if you feel it too, then we owe it to one another to at explore it,” he says and before I can respond, he takes my hand and leads me to a door.
I frown because it’s not what I imagined an entrance to a restaurant would look like.
“I don’t think exploring—”
He stops and puts a finger against my lips.
“At the very least, we owe it to one another to spend time together. Maybe it goes nowhere and just ends. Either way, we deserve to find out. Now, I had my private chef create us a magnificent meal. It’s the first one I’ve shared with a woman in a fucking long time.
I want to take you into my apartment, enjoy dinner and dessert with you, and then I will escort you back to your car so you can go home.
If it goes well enough, maybe I can give you a kiss afterward, because that will be my very first kiss since being free. ”
He turns to open his door. Now is the time for me to tell him no and walk away. Whatever this is, it’s a disaster just waiting to happen. Sadly, I don’t stop him. I walk into his apartment like a sheep being led to the slaughter.
When did I get so fucking stupid?