Chapter 16 Olivia
“You clean up real nice after the walk of shame, Winnie,” I giggle as we pull onto the road that leads to the Black Stone Ranch.
It’s three in the afternoon. Winnie came dragging in around ten this morning, in the same clothes she wore last night, obvious sex hair, and looking mortified when she saw me out on the porch and had nowhere to run.
I knew she was going to go by and talk to Blade.
I probably wouldn’t have thought she had sex with him until I saw her face, and then the way she cried when she saw me.
I thought it would make me feel uncomfortable, maybe even sad.
It’s probably weird that it didn’t. I don’t care though.
What Blade and I shared is long in the past. After spending Bear’s last days talking about what happened between us, I could never go back to Blade, even though Bear told me to.
I don’t see myself ever wanting another man.
My body has been abused more than it ever found glee in sex.
The only man I could probably feel comfortable with is dead.
I know I love him in a way that I’ll never feel about anyone else.
It could be a combination of all of that, but I genuinely don’t care what Blade does with another woman.
Winnie is my best friend, though, and if he can give her the love that he once showed me—because I know he has that still inside him to give—then I’m happy.
No one deserves it more than Winnie. Besides, she’d keep Blade on his toes, and he needs that.
His personality was always much bigger than mine, and Winnie is the same way. They’re a good match.
“You get that this is weird, right? You’re supposed to be angry—crazy mad at me for sleeping with your ex,” she huffs.
“Why would I be mad? I told you how I felt about Blade and my past. If you’re happy, Winnie, that’s all I want. Blade was a really good guy back then—if you ignore the way he kept the truth from me. Just make sure he is always honest with you. You could do much worse than him.”
“This is the same man who you know wanted revenge on you, Livy. Hell, he brought a whore to your father’s funeral just to hurt you.”
I scrunch up my nose. “Nothing he could do could hurt me. That said, if you continue seeing him, make him get rid of that bitch.”
“I shouldn’t see him again,” she groans as we pull up to the gate.
It’s a huge iron gate with three horses running on the left side in black iron and the right side of the gate has a giant B that is intertwined with an S.
There’s a gatehouse in front of it and Winnie hits the button to lower her window as a guard steps out.
“Name?” the guard asks.
“Winnie Mason and Olivia Davis? Carson is expecting us.”
“Of course, Ms. Mason. He’s waiting for you two by the stables.”
“Thank you,” she says, rolling the window up.
I’m muted until she pulls into a parking area, then I reach over and grab her hand. “Winnie?”
“Yeah?” she says, with a mixture of nerves and fear.
“Please stop worrying. I’m fine with you and Blade together.
You’re my friend. You helped save my life.
All I truly want is for you to be happy.
” She stares at me, searching for the truth.
I have nothing to hide. It might be weird, but this is legitimately how I feel.
“Please stop worrying,” I plead again. Finally, she smiles.
“I love you, Livy. I feel a pull toward Blade. It’s so strong and powerful. He says he feels the same thing. I don’t understand it, but I do know that if you objected, I’d walk away.”
“That’s something I won’t ever do. Please stop worrying.
I loved Blade as much as I was able once, but we’ve had this discussion in therapy.
Bear held a piece of me that I could never give to someone else.
That doesn’t end for me just because he’s not here.
I hid from it for a while, and look what happened?
No. I’m done. I don’t have more of myself to give.
Maybe, whatever comes after this world, I’ll get my chance with Bear once more,” I explain, and the thought leaves a genuine smile on my face.
“I want that,” she says softly.
“What?” I ask confused.
“A love so powerful even death doesn’t let it fade.”
“Don’t forget the love story was really fucking depressing for the most part,” I confess.
“It’s also beautiful. You and Bear shared the depths of something most of us can’t even begin to imagine.”
I search her words, but I can’t deny them. “Yeah,” I breathe.
We get out of the car and meet up with Carson.
We spend the next hour touring the ranch—which seems more like a small town.
There’s a little café and even a small store filled with camping supplies and a few must-have groceries near a public campground.
In the private area of the ranch, there’s an area filled with cabins that Carson said the ranch hands and security live in.
Two men are married, and their wives seem really nice.
I met Carson’s brother, Cooper, and another guy named Jeff.
They all seem like really good people and it’s a miracle, but as nervous as I am at meeting all new people, I feel comfortable too.
It’s like … I belong here. That sounds silly, but it’s true.
“This is pretty much it, Olivia. What do you think about the place?”
“I love it,” I admit at once.
“Does that mean you’d be willing to sign up with us?” Carson asks.
“If you’re really okay with me being here, then definitely. I was serious, though. I want to work.”
“I’ll have Lisa show you a list of openings we have here. Will that work?”
“It’s perfect,” I answer, and for once, I feel eager about the future.
“Great. Now, let’s go have dinner with Lisa, and we’ll talk about specifics and how soon you want to move in.”
“Sounds good,” I answer, and I smile at Winnie. “Thank you,” I whisper to her.
She hugs me, and we follow Carson to his home.
I feel like I’m finally moving forward, and it’s more than just liberating.
It’s intoxicating. My past hasn’t broken me.
I survived and I will do what I promised Bear I would do.
I would build a life. He assumed that was with Blade, but I never agreed to that.
I will build a peaceful life and surround myself with the memory of him.
That’s all I need.