Chapter 19 Olivia
It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve been at the Saint’s Outlaws.
Their compound has moved. They took over my brother’s place where Ghost Town In The Sky used to be.
They reopened the lift and gave the place new life.
It’s cool. I don’t really like being here, though.
The place where Bear and I were held is totally different from this place.
Still, knowing the Feral Kings and my brother used to live here have my nerves stretched tight.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Blade asks, one hand on my lower back and the other on Winnie’s. It might seem strange to anyone who knew our story, but it makes me smile—despite the stress I’m under.
I have my hands in the blazer I’m wearing.
My fingers are wrapped around a pistol that once belonged to Bear.
Cross gave it to me not long after I moved out of the treatment center and in with Winnie.
The two of us used to go to school and later to target practice so I could get my conceal and carry license and learn how to operate the gun correctly.
I already know I’m going to kill Ayita. I promised that to Bear.
He was too delirious to understand, but I swore I would, and I’m definitely going to be the person to end her miserable life.
I also swore I’d do the same to Douglas.
I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to do that—or even get the opportunity, but I’m damn well going to try.
If Lucky and Demon were still alive, they’d be on the list also.
“I’m fine. It’s just weird being here … You know?” I answer Blade, and Winnie reaches over and squeezes my arm. I give her a smile. “I promise I’m okay.” She nods.
I’m glad she believes me. I took extra anxiety meds and fought off a panic attack. This is too important for me to lose it now. I’ll worry about doing that tomorrow. I just need to get through this, then fake it enough that Winnie goes home with Blade. I can hide from Mrs. Dynes.
Cross comes over and pulls me into his arms. I have to admit I feel better being closer to him than to Blade.
I’m glad Blade and I have buried the hatchet—and not into one another—but Cross has been a saving grace for me.
He and Winnie kept me going. It’s why I’m so glad Blade called him the minute I told him the truth about Ayita. I need Cross beside me.
“Hold up. There’s something missing here before we go face down the bitch and let her know we’re on to her,” Cross says.
“What’s that?” Winnie asks.
I turn to look at her and notice that Blade has moved so that he is reaching into Cross’s truck.
He pulls out a box. I gasp, air lodging so tight in my chest that I feel like I might explode.
It’s the cut that Bear had made for me years ago.
He told me when we were being held that it was the only way he was allowed to claim me and honor my wishes.
God, I was so stupid. I stepped aside for a woman whom I thought was a sister to me.
I thought she loved Bear. I thought he loved her, and in a way, he did.
I know he was good to her, and he never cheated—at least physically.
He put her first, even before I got with Blade.
For her to betray him the way she did makes me sick.
As I look at the cut, tears sting my eyes.
I immediately put it on over my blazer. I look at Blade and then at Cross.
“Thank you,” I tell them, my voice thick with unshed tears.
I fight to get control over my emotions.
This moment is too important. When we stand at the door, Blade looks at me.
“Are you sure you’re ready, Olivia? Cross can take you home, and you can stay there and let me deal with this.
I promise that every single one of us would understand. ”
I immediately shake my head no. “I need to be here. I promised Bear I would be. I’m not going back on what was essentially my last vow to him.”
Blade nods, his face tight. He walks in first, Winnie beside him.
“Blade, you didn’t tell us you were bringing a woman by. Is she a new play toy?” I hear one of the boys ask.
“No, she’s fucking not. She’s my old lady. Show her some fucking respect. Arwen, meet the assholes that I sometimes call my brothers.”
“Hey guys. Just call me Winnie. The only one to call me Arwen is Blade, and I’m pretty sure he does it just to annoy me.”
“Hey, Cross. What are you hiding back there?” Hangman asks.
I take a breath. This is it. I step around Blade and look at the men that Bear loved.
“Holy fuck,” Hangman says, getting up instantly. “Livy.” He hugs me tightly and I smile. I’ve always liked Hangman. I was friends with his sister, and their family was special to me.
“Hey,” I whisper.
He places a kiss on the top of my head. “Missed you, girl.”
“Missed you, too,” I respond.
He turns his gaze to Blade. “You’re not going to—”
“Olivia is under our protection. She’s family,” Blade says at once, and I let those words slide over me. It feels good.
“The fuck she is!” Ayita screeches coming from the hall. “How the hell could you let that bitch in our clubhouse?”
“She belongs here,” Blade says, his voice hardening.
“Maybe you forgot how she set your brother up to die—or the way her brother took his life, but I sure as hell haven’t! Damn it, Blade, are you so weak that you would let this whore lead you around by her dick?”
“That’s rich. You calling me a whore,” I growl, all the hate I have for this woman rising inside of me.
“Are you going to deny that most of the Feral Kings hasn’t had you? You were nothing more than their plaything.”
“I can’t deny it,” I answer, beating down the shame I feel. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. “Especially since you helped my brother order them to rape me.”
The room goes completely silent.
“What the hell is wrong with you? What game are you playing now?” Ayita gripes, but I see the fear in her eyes. She should be afraid.
“What’s wrong, Ayita? You don’t want Bear’s brothers to know how you fucked my brother as a thank you for hurting Bear. How you ordered Bear beaten despite the fact he was slowly dying? How you told Douglas’s men to rape me and mock me while they were doing it?”
If I weren’t reliving the past, stuck in it with snatched memories of that day playing in my head, I would have died of embarrassment.
Thankfully, none of that occurs to me as I advance on her.
My hand slides under the cut and into the pocket of my blazer.
I grip the gun tightly as I stare her down.
“You’re lying!” She looks around the room and screams at everyone. “She’s lying! You all know me. I would never do that to Bear. Never!”
“Ask her how Ranger knew to approach Bear and why he was with Bear that night at the garage,” I call out.
“It’s not like Bear trusted Ranger over his own brother, or Hangman, Viper, any of you guys.
In fact, Ranger would have been pretty low down on Bear’s list—except he had been talking in Bear’s ears for weeks.
Feeding him just enough information to make him believe.
It helped that you were in his ear, too, wasn’t it, bitch?
Telling him how much Ranger missed having Bear in his life.
How he had been talking to you and wanting to mend fences, all that poison came from you, Ayita. ”
“You’re talking out of your head. You guys can’t believe her. She’s just trying to tear us all apart. The bitch is probably working for her brother all over again!” Ayita screams, clearly moving past panic into desperation.
“I guess there’s only one way to get you to admit the truth,” I say with a deep breath. Then I pull out Bear’s gun.
“Livy, honey, maybe we should talk about this,” Hangman says from somewhere behind me.
“Leave her be,” Blade answers, his words final. Mostly I’m ignoring them all. I stare straight at Ayita, who looks like she’s afraid to breathe. She should be.
“Now, we can do this the easy way. I will give you a chance to tell them the truth. If you don’t, I’m going to shoot you.
The fact that I’m using Bear’s gun seems like justice.
Don’t you think? It’s one of the last vows I ever made to him.
I promised I would get revenge on you and Douglas.
You should know I’m intent on keeping that promise, Ayita. ”
“You wouldn’t. They won’t let you. I’m family. You’re just a whore who is responsible for Bear’s death.”
“I was really hoping you’d pick the easy way,” I grumble.
I lower my gun just enough. I see victory shine in her eyes before I smile and pull the trigger, shooting her in her kneecap.
I hear some whistling and some cursing behind me.
I’m pretty sure that Viper says, “Fuck, that’s hot.
” If Bear was still alive, he’d kick Viper in the balls for that.
If Ayita wasn’t screaming and hadn’t fallen down on the floor, I’d enjoy the thought longer.
I like to imagine Bear is alive and interacting all around me.
It’s something I never mentioned in therapy because they’d probably put me in a padded cell.
“Now, tell them why you betrayed Bear,” I growl.
“Go to hell!” she hisses. I don’t even blink. I bring the gun back up and shoot her in the shoulder. This time she cries out even louder. “Stop her! I’m Bear’s woman. You can’t let her do this.”
I squat down so that I’m closer to her. I’ll admit that I take a certain amount of happiness from watching the bright red blood pouring from her wounds. I hold the muzzle of the pistol against her forehead. She goes completely still. “One. Last. Chance.”
“Fuck you!” she snarls.
“Have it your way.” I shrug. I move the gun quickly to shoot her other kneecap.
This time she squeals like a pig. I guess it hurts more up close. I’ll make a note of that if I ever get a chance to shoot Douglas.
“You fucking bitch. This is all your fault. Bear was mine! Mine! Then you come along and suddenly you’re all he can think about. Fucker even called your name while sleeping in my bed! You didn’t leave me a choice!”
“You’re wrong. You had a choice! All you had to do was leave. Tell him to leave. Do what grown adults do that break up instead of being an unhinged …” I stop trying to find the right words, drawing a blank because I don’t think they make words to explain how evil she is.
“Cunt waffle!” Winnie suggests, and if I wasn’t struggling with so many different emotions right now, I’d laugh.
“Cunt waffle,” I repeat.
“Fuck you! He deserved the pain. He was mine. He may not have slept with you, but he wanted to! I despised you both. I loved watching him experience the pain he put me through, and I cheered those fucking bastards on when they held you down and gang banged—”
I shoot her in the mouth. Blood splatters on me, but I don’t pay any attention. I’m too busy screaming for her to shut up.
I keep saying it over and over. Then I feel Cross’s arms go around me. “It’s okay, Ollie-girl. I’ve got you. You’re safe now,” he whispers in my ear.
“I want to go home,” I tell him, curling into him as he lifts me up.
“I’ll take you home. I promise,” Cross says, his voice soft and steady.
“Will you stay? Like you did before.”
“I’ll stay, Ollie. Don’t worry. We’ll get Mrs. Dynes to clean you up and we’ll watch those horrible Christmas movies.”
“Bear would be proud of me.”
“Yes, he would, Ollie-girl. He’d be damn proud.”
I curl into him. I can hear Blade and Winnie talking to Cross. There are other voices too, but I ignore them all. I space out and let the nothingness claim me.