PART ONE #3
“Oh my fucking god!” Sophie slaps her free hand over her mouth.
“They are not little and green,” Tammy says, her eyes widening.
I stare at the screen. These men are tall and broad, they have square Viking jaws, sharp eyes and without exception their hair is shoulder length.
“They’re a bit…purple,” Mel says. “Or is that just my eyesight?”
“No, they do have a tinge.” Sophie nods. “And is that…are they…horns?”
I peer closer. Just visible through their hair are small horns. They really are aliens, but not how I’d always thought aliens would look.
“Let us introduce King Athos,” the narrator says. “His family have ruled Hade for generations and he wishes to make his plea to Earth women.”
“King Athos. This has to be a joke.” Tammy runs her hand through her hair. “Don’t you think?”
“I don’t know,” I say. And I really am wondering what’s real and what isn’t. It’s been that kind of day.
A huge man fills the screen. His slightly purple skin is weathered and his eyes are a piercing blue. Long dark hair falls to his shoulders and a beard joins it. His horns are gold, perhaps that is because he is king.
“If you are watching this I bid you greetings from Planet Hades,” he says, his words are slow and careful as though he isn’t speaking his first language.
“And I thank you for watching thus far.” He pulls in a deep breath.
“We are undergoing a serious and very real threat of extinction which is why, five years ago we reached out to Earth. A planet we have known has life on it for many centuries. We were fortunate enough to make contact with men and women who were sympathetic, trustworthy, discreet, and had the knowledge to work toward a solution with us.” He pauses.
“A solution to our severe lack of women. We have none. Our hearts break each day with the pain of missing them, and like humans, we need women to procreate, to keep our planet populated.”
“So they want us for our wombs, great.” Sophie huffs.
“And no doubt you would pop out little purple babies if you got down and dirty with them,” Mel says. “Imagine that!”
“They do look pretty hot though, the men, if you can get past the purple skin and the horns,” I say and look around the table. “Even him, the king, not bad for an older dude, right?”
Mel and Tammy nod, Sophie looks doubtful.
“Which is why,” the king goes on, “three years ago the first mission launched from a remote island in the South Pacific. It was called Project Hope and the ship brought with it twenty willing, fertile Earth women.”
“What? How do we not know this?” Sophie says aghast. “It should have been on every news channel.”
“He just said they made contact with discreet and trustworthy individuals,” I say.
“But this.” Sophie nods at the phone. “They’ve made videos for crying out loud.
“With a one time use password, no one would believe us if we told them about this,” Mel says. “They’d think we were totally mad with no evidence.”
“True.” I nod.
“It took nearly two years from the women to arrive here,” King Athos went on.
“They were put in an induced coma with special medication that we invented back in the sixth century of our great noble leader, Orion, along with traveling at light speed, which stops time, the ageing process is halted so no actual life span is lost.”
“That’s pretty clever,” Tammy says. “My salon would sell a lot of that shit. Everyone’s obsessed with anti-ageing.”
“The women arrived and after quarantine were paired up with suitable matches.”
“And this could be a hit on my TV channel,” Mel says. She is always looking out for new reality show ideas. “We could call it Purple Romance, Light Year Dates, Space Seduction.”
“Horny For You,” I say with a grin.
“Perfect.” She points at me. “Well done.”
We all go back to the screen. “Of course our planet took some adjusting too for the women, the air is a little thinner but other than that the same gaseous recipe as yours. The food is different, possibly an acquired taste, but the men of Hade are patient and understanding and now I am pleased to say each match has been a success and we have not one but two babies born.” He leans forward.
“I should report we are a long way ahead in the birthing process, our women are put to sleep, if they wish, and when they wake the babe is in arms, a much more dignified event.”
“I’m up for that,” I say quickly. The thought of labor and birthing has given me the heebie-jeebies since we had to watch a video on it at school in eighth grade.
“So.” The king sits back and folds his arms. He wears a short-sleeved tunic and his forearms are wide and strong, lightly coated in hair.
“If this is something you are interested in, a new life, with men who will be loyal and protective and ensure that your every need is met you should consider joining us here on Planet Hade. Myself, and my men, would be forever in your debt and we would cherish your presence every single day.”
The screen suddenly goes black and what appears to be a phone number flashes in red.
“Screenshot that,” I say quickly.
Sophie does as I ask. “Why?”
“Because…well I might want to go.” I take a gulp of wine. Did I really just say that?
“What?” Sophie’s eyes are wide. “You can’t. What about your job?”
“What about my job? The bank pays well but it’s deathly boring.”
“You can’t be serious?” Tammy is grinning and there’s a sparkle in her eyes. She always is up for adventure.
“Deadly,” I say and turn to Mel.
“I think…” She purses her lips and blows out a breath. “If you all decide to go then I’m not getting left behind. I also want a big purple hunk with horns and a big dick.”
“They might not have big dicks,” Sophie says.
“Did you see the size of them? Goddamn Vikings and they had big dicks.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
“Well-known fact.” Tammy grins.
For a moment we sit in an electrified silence and then we burst out laughing. Real belly laughs that I didn’t think I had in me. What an elaborate joke…or was it?
“Ring the number,” I say, wiping at a tear of laughter. “What have we got to lose?”
You have just read Part One of the on-going serial PLANET DOUBLE DICK, head to lokepub to read Part Two.