PART ONE #2
“I know, they thought he was a catch, same as I did. How come none of us saw it?”
“He had us all fooled.” She nods toward the door. “Here they are.”
The twins wrap me in a bundle of hugs and Mel kisses my cheek twice. “I have a new compost bin. I reckon if we chop him up he’d fit inside, and then the worms will do the rest.”
“I’ll keep that option in mind.”
“You should.” Tammy sits and rests her hand on mine. “Start at the beginning.”
“It’s a short story.” I blow out a breath and my concentration lands on an elegant older woman with a neat gray bobbed hairstyle.
She is holding a glass of sparkling wine and takes a seat in the booth next to us.
Briefly I wonder if she’s waiting for her husband, likely someone she’d been married to for donkey’s years, and they have beautiful children and an immaculate home.
Good for her. It doesn’t happen to many of us.
“Remember when I went to that weekend conference last month?” I say, leaning forward like a conspirator.
They all nod.
“And we’d had a bit of a row, me and Jeremy…well only just, a minor disagreement really.” I pause. “Well it seems that was enough for him to throw his loyalty out of the window and jump into bed with Sandy for a round of bumping uglies.”
“Your neighbor with the…” Tammy draws a circle around her mouth. “The pumped up lips.”
“And the huge…” Mel says, cupping her chest.
“Yes, that’s the one.” I nod. “And now she’s pregnant.”
“Wow!”
“What the hell?”
“What a bitch.”
“What a bastard,” I grind out. “He’s the one I’m most mad at. I couldn’t care less about her, she got what she deserved by taking someone else’s man.”
“Has she taken him?”
I shrug and refill my wine. A pang of sympathy goes to Sandy, not only is she knocked up she’s got an asshole baby daddy to contend with.
Chances of him ever being able to support a kid or even trying are slim and now he’s proven he’s a cheat.
Once a cheat always a cheat, isn’t that what they say?
“No idea if she’s taken him in. I threw all of his stuff onto the lawn, so it would be an easy move to next door if she has decided to go down that distinctly slippery route. ”
“I just can’t believe it. I thought he was a catch.” Sophie shakes her head. “What chance do any of us have when a guy like Jeremy can pull the wool over our eyes? He was always utterly charming, and those abs…wow.”
“I know, right.” They were pretty awesome abs and he was always happy to show them off on sunny days.
“Zero chances. That’s what we have.” Tammy sighs mournfully. “We are destined to be old spinsters. Earth men are just crap.”
I give a stiff laugh. “If only there was a planet full of absolute beef cakes, with brains and kind hearts.”
“And big cocks.” Sophie nods seriously.
“Loyal,” Mel adds. “Once committed always committed.”
“It’s a pipedream,” Tammy says knocking back her wine. “But a girl can hope.”
“To hope.” I raise my glass and we all chink. “And perfect alien men for us all.”
I rest back and try to let my shoulders relax but they are knotted up around my ears. My stomach cramps a little, the wine hasn’t helped. But it has blurred my emotions and kept the tears at bay…for now.
“Excuse me ladies.”
I look up. The older woman with the neat gray hair is standing by our table. Her makeup is immaculate and I get a whiff of an expensive perfume with notes of geranium.
“Hi,” I say, managing a smile. “Can we help you?”
“I think perhaps I can help you with your man situation.” She looks around the table making eye contact with us all.
“We need all the help we can get,” Tammy huffs. “Not one decent guy between us. What does that tell you, huh?”
“They are all bastards, that’s what it tells me.” Sophie sits back and folds her arms. I can feel the anger and frustration vibrating from her. She’d liked Jeremy, he’d given her hope that he’d have a doppelganger she could get her hot little hands on. This had hurt her too.
“No.” The woman opened her purse. “They are not bastards, they are just spoilt little children, the lot of them.”
“I agree.” Tammy tips her head, curiosity is poking at her, I can tell.
“From ancient times Earth men have been frightened of intelligent independent women,” she goes on, “Look how religion portrays us as sinners and whores. Look how medieval kings ordered herbal experts to be hanged as witches. Look now how the very gender who is supposed to care and protect us is waging both a silent and violent war against us.”
She has definitely gotten herself onto some kind of feminist algorithm but I don’t argue with her. There is something in her eyes, the set of her jaw and the way she holds herself that is captivating.
“Here,” she says and places a small pink business card on the table. It has a QR code on it, nothing else. “Watch the video. You’ll need a one-time password, it’s Athena, all lowercase.”
“A video?” Sophie picks up the card. “About what?”
“That’s why you have to watch it.” She tightens her purse strap over her shoulder. “And I wish you every success should you go ahead.”
Once again she looks us all in the eye and then she turns and walks away, her heels clicking on the hard wooden floor.
“What is this?” Tammy says, topping up everyone’s wine.
“No idea,” I say, “but we should find out.”
“She was a bit…odd,” Mel adds. “Don’t you think?”
“She certainly seemed to know something we don’t and if it’s any kind of help with finding a decent man, I’ll listen to her wise words. We should always respect our elders.”
Sophie has her phone out. “Right, gather round. What was the password again?”
“Athena, lowercase.”
She follows the link and types in the password. Instantly the screen blooms to life in a mixture of pinks and purples.
“Congratulations, you are one of the select few to be given this opportunity.”
“What opportunity?” Mel asks.
“Shh.” Tammy nudges her. “Listen.”
The screen shows Times Square in New York, and then Tokyo, Japan. Next comes Tower Bridge in London and then Paris, France. The image then pulls back, gaining speed until the spinning globe of Earth fills the screen with a black backdrop.
“In a world full of men, are you struggling to find one who has morals, loyalty, integrity and who can drive you wild in bed?”
“No such thing.” Mel shakes her head.
“A man whose smile can chase the blues away,” the narration goes on in a soft female voice, “whose eyes drink you up as you walk around the room, and whose heart beats only for you?”
“He doesn’t exist,” I say.
“We know you are searching for that, ladies.” The spinning globe retreats into the distance and then the video turns away from it, facing the darkness of space.
Suddenly it rushes forward as though accelerating to the speed of light.
“And if you remain on Earth you are on an impossible quest, no such man exists, at least not one who isn’t already taken.
But out here…beyond the far, far away galaxies, you will find what you are looking for. ”
“This is a joke. Who was that woman?” Sophie says, her finger hovering over the close button.
“No…no, don’t do that,” I say. “I’m curious to see where this is heading. What are they trying to sell us?”
“Bound to be something I can’t afford.” Tammy huffs. “It always is.”
The video continues and I lean a bit closer, my shoulder rubbing up against Sophie’s.
“Because in the depths of the Drideon Constellation lies a planet that needs you.”
“Needs us?” Mel says with a frown.
“Never heard of it,” Tammy adds.
“You’re hardly an expert on astronomy,” I reply. “Why would you have?”
“True.” Tammy shrugs.
“A planet that has been through a truly terrible ordeal and now needs human women for its very survival.”
I look at Tammy who looks at Sophie who looks at Mel. We all turn back to the screen.
The whizzing image slows and in its place what looks like a planet appears, it’s more purple than blue and as the camera gets closer I get the sense of it being alive, of having an atmosphere, water, and vegetation.
“That’s great AI,” Tammy says.
“Welcome to Planet Hade,” the narrator says. “A place full of beauty and serenity, a place that welcomes and cherishes.”
“If this was real it would be on the news,” Sophie says. “A planet that looks like that.”
“I agree.” But I’m glued to it, I can’t take my eyes off the screen that is full of images of purple waves lapping against silvery beaches, trees alive with birds I have never seen before.
But then the images are gone and in its place a red flash and what looks like tiny spiky covid viruses floating around and bumping into each other.
“Twenty years ago Planet Hade welcomed guests from the Omega Galaxy and disaster struck. They unwittingly introduced a virus that proved lethal to the women of Planet Hade. One by one wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters took to their beds never to rise again. And now…now the men of Planet Hade are alone. With no one to breed with they are the last generation of their species.”
“A planet full of men. No women. No way.” Mel shakes her head.
“Imagine if covid had just killed women,” I say. “That’s what it would be like here on Earth.”
“And just like that.” Mel points at the screen. “They wouldn’t survive long without us.”
“Neither would the human race,” I say.
“So this is a planet with only men on it,” Sophie repeats. “I wonder what they look like?”
“Little and green?” Tammy holds up her hands. “That’s my best guess.”
“Let’s see if it shows them.” I nod at the video again.
The viruses have gone from the screen and in their place is a settlement that reminds me of ancient Rome, all pillars and stone with orange tinted roofs.
“This is the equivalent of a capital city on Planet Hade, its name is Mimas and is home to ten thousand men.”
“Ten thousand, that’s too many even for me in the middle of a sex drought.” Mel giggles.
“Men who are loyal and strong and prepared to fight, and they need you.” The narration stops and the camera or drone or whatever it is zooms into a line of men standing military-style.