River #2
I should be glad she’s out, but empty bitterness grips me tight. Why now, when she’d had so many chances to leave before? To leave with me?
I don’t understand it.
It hurts, but I’m not going to think about it.
I’m dead to my dad, but he’s also dead to me.
Maybe she needs to be dead to me too.
Or maybe she is dead, and one day I’ll find out and feel guilty for even thinking this way.
Pandora
Sure.
River
There’s that Chinese place we were talking about. We could head there.
The place we’d spent time with Rachel at.
I don’t know if I really want to, but at the same time, it’ll be better to go somewhere familiar.
Pandora
Come to Nightingale Circle. We’re ice skating!
River
What are you doing texting while you’re ice skating?
I don’t have anywhere better to go, though, so I start up my car and head in that direction. Parking is impossible to find, as usual, and I end up having to walk several blocks in the cold to get to the ice skating rink.
When I get there, I search out Pandora. It takes me a few minutes to catch sight of her, even though her bright pink coat should’ve immediately clued me in to her location. I jog over, standing at the side as I wave her down.
Pandora skids to a stop in front of me. Her cheeks are flushed red, and she smiles brightly. “River! I’m glad you came!” She wraps her arms around me from over the rink barrier.
Somebody else stops near us. I glance over to see that it’s Pandora’s brother Ares. He gives me a weird look, like he’s not sure if I’m kindling or not.
“Hey, River,” Ares says as Pandora pulls back.
“Hey,” I say, unsure of what to say to him. I know he hates me; her whole family does. But as long as I’m on Pandora’s good side, he won’t try to set me on fire.
Probably.
“Where’s Samantha?” I ask, glancing around. “Did you leave her at your family’s mercy?”
“No, we’re all here!” Pandora points to one of the benches outside the rink. “There, she’s taking a break with Mel.”
I glance over to them. Samantha’s in her black coat, but Mel is wearing one in deep purple that’s cut to resemble a Victorian era dress.
“Do you want to skate too?” Pandora asks. “I’ll hold your hand so you don’t fall on your ass. Again.”
“That happened one single time,” I huff. “Anyway, I’m not here for long. I’m heading back to Dyschord tonight, and I want to get back before it gets too late.”
Pandora exchanges a glance with Ares, then looks back to me. “Why are you going back?”
Before I can answer, somebody stops next to them. It’s a woman with her hand on the railing, unsteady on her skates. “Could you please move? You’re blocking the rink.”
Pandora and Ares both back up so she can skate past, then some kids go by, then some teens who laugh obnoxiously and flip Ares off.
Ares narrows his eyes and starts skating after them, but Pandora grabs his coat sleeve. “Don’t melt the rink, loser.”
“Blood doesn’t melt ice,” Ares counters.
I shake my head. I don’t really want to talk about it in front of Ares. “Let him go. He can get arrested if he wants to,” I say.
“I’m not going to…” Ares huffs in annoyance. “It’s fine. Look, Kratos is done skating too. Let’s go get dinner.”
Pandora purses her lips in an adorable pout, but she nods. “Fine, fine. There’s too many people here anyway.” She comes up to the edge of the rink again and gives me a quick kiss. “Come join us, we were going to have dinner at Cafe Ozeane. They won’t mind an extra person.”
With how high end that restaurant is, I’m certain they will mind, and I’m not dressed for it. I make a frustrated sound. “Pandora, I need to talk to you. Alone.”
Pandora smiles. “Sure, after dinner.”
I grit my teeth, silently counting to ten. “I’m not going to Cafe Ozeane. They’re not going to let me in dressed like this, and I’m not in the mood to deal with your entire family hating on me the whole time. I’m heading back to Dyschord.”
After my confrontation with my dad, I’m itching to do something physical. If I hurry, I can get in on one of the fights this evening and get some of my frustration out.
Pandora’s smile widens. “No, you aren’t. You’re having dinner with us, and then we’ll figure out how you can stay in NB.”
“No,” I say, my voice sharper than I intend it to be. “Whatever, Pandora. I’ll talk to you later.”
I turn, ready to get the fuck out of there.
“Wait!” Pandora calls out. I look over my shoulder, and I grimace when she contorts herself to climb over the side of the rink. People around her give her nasty glares, and one person goes so far as to knock into her to unbalance her.
Pandora ignores that and manages to get over the railing. She balances delicately on her skates and hobbles over to me.
“Seriously, what happened? You don’t want to be all alone at Dyschord,” Pandora says.
“I’d rather be all alone at Dyschord than here in NB,” I tell her. “Don’t worry about it. Go have dinner with your family.”
If I sound a little jealous, can anyone really blame me?
“But you’re part of my family too, River!
” Pandora says. She hooks her arm around mine.
“Is this because of your shitty dad? I did call Papa, and I told him how much I wanted to have you around for Christmas and how mean your dad was and that it’s kind of my fault your dad is pissed at you, and anyway, is Papa really going to let one of his employees dictate how he treats my…
” Pandora trails off. “Boyfriend? I mean, I didn’t use that word because it was Papa. ”
I can’t quite hide my surprise that she took responsibility for any of it. It’s such a not-Pandora thing to do.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Nobody’s going to hate you, anyway. It’s Kratos, Ares, Mel, and Samantha.” Pandora leans closer on wobbly feet. The ice skates give her an extra inch, which is disconcerting. “Come on, River. You don’t want to spend Christmas alone.”
“I don’t care about spending Christmas alone,” I tell her. It’s only partially true. I’d spent so many Christmases alone before I’d met Pandora, but at least I’d had Pandora and Rachel every year on the 26th.
“I’m really not hungry, and they aren’t going to let me in. You know that,” I say, but my voice is much less harsh.
Pandora gives me a mocking smile. “River, they are not going to turn down the Pavone family. We made a reservation.”
Before I can respond, Kratos walks up to us. Even though he and Ares are twins, he’s got a stockier build, with a more defined jawline and a strong nose. “Are you two done? We’re starving.”
Pandora whines. “Kratos, tell River that you don’t hate him.”
“But I do hate him,” Kratos says with a shrug, his brown eyes on me. “Everyone does, and I’m a sheep.”
I snort. I don’t mind Kratos, even if he isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.
Pandora slaps his arm. “Kratos! Anyway, I was saying to River, I don’t feel like whatever fancy fare Cafe Ozeane is going to serve. Let’s go to Lao Longfu. We can sit at one of their giant tables and order way too much food.”
The compromise surprises me. It’s not like Pandora is known for compromising, especially when she gets something into her head. But she wants me to go with them enough to change their plans, and something twists in my chest.
She’s always been more family than my own.
“Yeah, okay,” I say. I’ll tell her about my dad and my mom later when we’re alone, and maybe she’ll have more sympathy than she had when I’d told her about Franklin.
And hopefully she won’t try to set my dad on fire.
Even though I can’t say I’d mind.