Chapter 10 #3
Ronald crossed his arms, then scratched the back of his head in disbelief. “You two are a train wreck, and I can’t stop watching.”
Rebekkah threw up her hands, “Are we perfect? No! But you know who else wasn’t? Jesus’s friends. Thieves! Prostitutes!”
Japheth coughed awkwardly, “I think we say sex workers now.”
Ronald, nodded sagely, “Sex is work.”
“Amen! I think,” Japheth added, looking unsure.
Ronald’s eyes widened in realization, “Wait, this Jesus ghost hangs with sex workers and thieves?”
“And tax collectors!” Japheth exclaimed, “And seamen!”
“Fishermen,” Rebekkah corrected, a touch of exasperation in her voice and happy for the opportunity to gently scold Japheth back in front of their new friend and potential bandmate.
“Same thing?” Japheth offered.
“Not the same,” Rebekkah muttered.
Japheth pressed on, “He had twelve guys that were his best friends. They lived together, travelled together…”
“Slept together?” Ronald interrupted, intrigued. “Like a gay posse? I could get with that.”
Japheth blinked, “You could?”
“Why not?” Ronald grinned. “Variety, diversity, spontaneity…”
Rebekkah, flustered, shook her head, “We are getting very off track. I was telling you how I’ve been sampling…”
“Stealing,” Ronald and Japheth corrected in stereo.
“Fine! Stealing melodies,” Rebekkah admitted, but this time with conviction.
“It all stems from a very traumatic experience I had at church camp. There I was, minding my business, chasing butterflies by the lake and I was humming Hit Me Baby, One More Time. And one of the camp counsellors scolded me. I wasn’t even singing the lyrics.
I was just humming it. And he said, that was Satan’s music.
So, now, when I hear secular music, I just get this anchor of panic in my chest.”
“Wait. When was this?” Japheth asked.
“When the song came out, I guess. I was young, very impressionable,” Rebekkah back peddled.
“Right. It’s just… that song came out in 1998. Last year. So were you there as a kid or a counsellor?” Japheth pressed.
“How old are you?” Ronald tilted his head appraisingly.
“That has no bearing on my story or the fact that I was blindsided by having to figure out what music I could listen to and what music was being written by devils,” Rebekkah rubbed her elbows, as if a chill ran down her spine.
“So, you were… twenty-eight when this happened?” Japheth offered.
“You’re twenty-eight?!” Ronald exclaimed.
“Well, she’s twenty-nine now. That was a year ago.” Japheth clarified for their new friend and prospective bandmate.
“Yeah, I was gonna say older, but then I’m twenty-five so the age of anyone more senior than me gets a little muddy,” Ronald shared helpfully.
“Anyway!” Rebekkah sliced the air with her arms, hoping to cut through this runaway conversation and get back to the important points at hand. “I started taking those pop songs and rewriting them, for Jesus.”
Ronald tilted his head, concerned, “Is he your pimp?”
“No!” Rebekkah looked genuinely horrified.
Japheth, trying to regain some semblance of control, stepped forward again, “Ronald. What do you say? Will you be our third and join Trinity?”
“No throuple?” Ronald asked, a playful glint in his eye.
Japheth gave a nervous chuckle, “That’s… a different kind of communion. We really appreciate you sharing that you’re pansexual, but right now…”
Rebekkah cut in smoothly, “Right now, we’re just looking for someone to sing with.”
Ronald tapped his chin thoughtfully, “No sex, then?”
Japheth looked nervously at Rebekkah, “Mmm…” he hedged.
Rebekkah firmly shook her head, “Mmm…mmm,” she hummed with certainty. “It’s okay that you’re agnostic. Letting Jesus in isn’t something that happens right away for everyone. Sometimes it’s just about acknowledging that maybe you’re not alone. There’s someone else on your team.”
Ronald chuckled, “I’m not agnostic by choice. And I’m not pansexual by choice. It’s just my default setting. I had no idea I even had a faith switch.”
Japheth grabbed him by the shoulder, “Ronald, we want to turn you on…”
“It doesn’t take much actually,” Ronald shot him a flirty grin.
“To Jesus!” Japheth finished, beaming right back and having totally missed the cue, as usual.
“What do you say?” Rebekkah cleared her throat. “Ronald?”
Ronald dribbled the ball a few times, then stopped, staring at them, “I’m thinking…”
The ball came to a halt. He looked at them both one last time. “I can’t.”
“What? Why?!” Japheth and Rebekkah chorused.
Ronald sighed, catching the ball and holding it under one arm.
He looked down for a moment, as if searching for the right words, “I love to sing. But I also love basketball. When I entered that talent show, I had to think hard about what I love most and what I’m best at.
” He took a breath, eyes softening, “What you’re proposing is really tempting.
And not just because I think you’re both fine.
Believe me, I can see it all. Us. Together, doing this. ”
Rebekkah blushed, “Wait, what? Really?”
Ronald looked up at her through his lashes, the hint of a grin playing at the corners of his mouth, “Yeah, you guys are kinda adorable in a weird, churchy way.”
Rebekkah beamed, then quickly recovered, adopting a serious tone, “I think you’re cute too. Like, absolutely, positively, one hundred percent cute. More than baby ducks. Very cute.”
“And that’s what makes this so hard,” Ronald continued, holding up a hand before they could say anything more.
“Because I can see us, all together, even if it’s just singing.
But… I’ve got a try-out for the Harlem Globetrotters tomorrow.
That’s why I’ve been out here driving to the hoop every day.
I’ve already got my bus ticket. I leave tomorrow evening. ”
“So, driving to the hoop is a real basketball thing?” Japheth blurted, his heart sinking. “And you’ve got like an… audition?”
“Like a try-out,” Ronald corrected, his face earnest.
Rebekkah’s smile faltered, “But… is there anything we can do or say to change your mind? Anything at all?”
“Anything?” Japheth offered.
Ronald shook his head, “I’m sorry. You seem like very nice White people. Strange but not scary.”
“Thank you…?” Rebekkah managed, unsure if she should feel flattered or insulted.
Ronald gave them a small, apologetic smile. “It was nice meeting you both. I was just messing with you earlier. Everyone on the planet knows who Jesus is. I just don’t believe in religion, but hey, good luck with that radio thing.”
And just like that, Ronald was gone, sneakers squishing on the asphalt as he dribbled the basketball, disappearing down the court without a backwards glance.
Japheth watched him go, the weight of disappointment heavy on his heart. “That’s… it?”
Rebekkah’s face twisted in confusion, mirroring Japheth’s disbelief. “What just happened?”
“I don’t understand,” Japheth said, throwing his hands up in the air. “We… we giddied-up. We let God! I climbed that step ladder…”
Rebekkah nodded solemnly, “All the way up to the highest shelf.”
“Where it was dusty!” Japheth added, incredulously.
“And precarious,” Rebekkah sighed, shaking her head, “on that rickety ladder.”
“And we opened up that dream again,” Japheth continued, his voice taking on a disbelieving edge, “We said, okay, You’ve got a plan for us? We’re game. We’ll play.”
Rebekkah’s voice was tight with frustration, “And we show up here and not only can Ronald sing, but he can also sang! And he’s magic! He can fly.”
“And hold up those shorts with… with… well magic!” Japheth added, his voice cracking slightly. He let out an exaggerated sigh, “And we were this close to a threesome, which was totally unexpected.”
“I nearly fainted,” Rebekkah admitted, her hand fluttering to her chest.
“And then he just… leaves?” Japheth threw his arms out, utterly baffled. “I mean, he was here and then gone.”
Rebekkah stood silent for a moment, her lips pressed together in a thin line, “How are we supposed to believe when it’s so hard? What is supposed to be happening right now?”
Japheth’s shoulders slumped, “Certainly not this!”
“Certainly!” Rebekkah echoed, her voice full of exasperation. “Japheth, is it really over?”
“We tried,” Japheth said softly. “We begged.”
“We pleaded!” Rebekkah added, throwing her hands up dramatically.
“We performed!” Japheth added. After a few moments of silence, he sighed, “I’ve gotta go. I have a shift at Saddles ‘n’ Spurs at five.”
Rebekkah’s eyes widened, and she grabbed his arm, “Don’t go. Maybe we’re not meant to have a radio show, or drive a Kia Rio, but we are absolutely meant to be famous. I do not want you to spend the rest of your life serving jalapeno-infused fried chicken.”
Japheth looked down at his feet. “I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life serving jalapeno-infused…”
“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Rebekkah cut him off, her voice full of determination. “We’re gonna go home, we’re gonna pack a bag, and we’re gonna meet at the bus station tomorrow evening for a red-eye roll-out. And we’re gonna pick a destination. Nashville! Halifax! Red Deer! Toronto!”
Japheth’s eyes brightened, a flicker of hope returning. “Los Angeles!”
“Anywhere but Greater Napanee and the Land O’Lakes region,” Rebekkah declared, her face set with resolve. “Somewhere where people appreciate us and our talent. And somewhere far, far, away from where God can play His little tricks with our lives. I wanna get off this merry-go-round.”
Japheth nodded, feeling the weight lift slightly, “Me too, Rebekkah. Me too.”
The basketball court had fallen silent now, save for the distant sounds of birds chirping and the faint rustling of leaves in the late afternoon breeze.
Despite their disappointment, a plan was forming and with Rebekkah at his side, Japheth knew they wouldn’t stop until they found their place in the spotlight.