6. Weinus, Weinus & Ware LLC #4
Before Japheth could continue, Ronald grabbed the phone from him, a wide smile playing on his lips, “Hi gang, Ronnie here. The only F-bomb Trinity will be dropping is faith, all over the good people of the Land O’Lakes region. And Japheth is gonna consummate it all with Micah, Esquire.”
There was a pause on the line before Emma-Lou spoke again, she sounded relieved and there was almost a chuckle in her voice, “This all sounds very promising. New music, young DJs…”
“Mmm…” Carrington hummed thoughtfully, like there was a correction on the tip of their tongue.
Emma-Lou continued, “Younger DJs than we’ve had, which will rope in the next generation of listeners and attract some new advertisers. I think the Ferraris will be pleased.”
The intercom buzzed and Suwarna’s voice chimed in again, “And WWJD will still have a CEO. Lots to be grateful for. Good work, everyone. Trinity? We’re going to huddle here and decide a day and time to launch your radio hour and announce the winners of the 1999 Not Short on Talent talent show. How soon can you be ready?”
There was another scuffle, as Rebekkah quickly took the phone from Ronald once more, “Rebekkah reporting. We’ll have to pick songs, rewrite those songs, think of a colour story for our outfits, get our hair high and low-lighted… mmm, maybe within a month?”
Carrington’s voice cut in sharply, “You don’t have a month!”
“Oh,” Rebekkah whispered, deflating slightly.
The intercom buzzed again, and Suwarna’s voice returned, calm but firm, “We’re talking days.
You all met Rino Ferrari? You saw the size of his last drop.
He’s gonna pull up to the station to unload once, sometimes twice a week.
And his loads aren’t going to get any lighter.
We need to launch the Trinity Radio Hour yesterday. ”
Emma-Lou, sounding more focused than ever, added, “But more likely and realistically in a few days from now.”
“Two or three tops,” Carrington clarified. “We’ll call you, and when we do, it’ll be game time. Do you all have cell phones?”
Rebekkah nodded, then realized they couldn’t see her, “Japheth has a Motorola Razr flip phone. Is that something Ronald and I could have, too? For work?”
There was a brief pause before Suwarna responded, “Perhaps. That will be based on performance. But for now, stick close to your landlines and wait for our call.”
There was another commotion as Japheth took the phone back from Rebekkah, his tone more serious, “Should I plan to camp out at the station in case Rino drops by? Will he expect me to be his bag boy every time?”
The intercom buzzed again, and both Suwarna and Carrington answered on top of each other, “I’ll receive him! /No, I’ll receive him!”
Carrington’s voice prevailed, “Japheth, don’t worry, we’ve got it handled. You three need to be together.”
Emma-Lou agreed, her voice resolute, “You need to plan an incredible first show.”
“And you need to wait for our call,” Suwarna finished firmly.
CLICK.
Ronald leaned back on his heels, a slow grin spreading across his face, “Well, that went well!”
Rebekkah bounced on her toes, practically glowing from the excitement, “It’s all happening! Japheth, I’m sorry you can’t meet Rino, but he is a mobster, I think. And we really do need you focused and with us right now. We have so much to do!”
Japheth glanced at Ronald, taking a deep breath, “Rebekkah… Ronald and I spent the afternoon together, and he said some really, really smart stuff. Things that got me thinking about how sometimes you and I leave some things unsaid between us. And I don’t want that anymore.
I want there to be nothing between the three of us.
We’re about to be small-town famous, and I’d never want you to hear something about me from someone else.
Especially before you heard it from me…”
Rebekkah’s expression hardened to concern, “Japheth, what is it? Are you in trouble? Are the Ferraris threatening you? Blackmailing you?! Did Rino talk about gutting fish? Or anything about how pretty the head of a horse is?”
Japheth shook his head, almost laughing, “What?! NO!”
“Okay, then what is it?” Rebekkah pressed.
Ronald nodded encouragingly, “Just tell her Japheth.”
He exhaled sharply, “Rebekkah, I’m a little bit gay.”
Rebekkah stared at him, unblinking, “Uh-huh.”
Japheth took a step forward, “Gay, Rebekkah. Not happy, well that, too. But gay.”
Rebekkah smiled at him warmly, “Yeah, I know. And not just a little bit. That would be like saying it drizzled a little bit when Noah built the ark.”
Japheth blinked, “You know?”
“Of course I know,” she replied, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“And…?” Japheth ventured, still unsure how his best friend and partner in prayer was appraising him.
“And… I think it’s great,” Rebekkah said, her tone as kind as ever.
“I know the Bible has some obtuse references to not lie with other men, but I really think that’s misinterpreted.
Who would have a problem with cuddling?!
I’m pretty sure it means don’t stand around and lie to each other. Just be honest. Like you’re doing now.”
Japheth looked at her, relief flooding through him, “Thank you.”
“Nothing between us, right?” Rebekkah asked, pulling him into a hug.
Ronald clapped Japheth on the back, “Thick as thieves.”
Rebekkah grinned, “We’re like Robin Hood and his merry men and one hot ingénue! We’re going to steal sexy, slutty, and sinful top forty songs…”
“And give them to the poor in spirit!” Japheth finished, a huge smile on his face.
Rebekkah beamed at him, “Thanks for sharing, Japheth. I wanted you to share when it was time for you. There are so many gays that I just love. Robin Hood and his merry men? Definitely gay. Jonathan and David? They basically had a wedding ceremony and maybe David was bisexual, but he still said Jonathan’s love surpassed even his love of women.
Alexander and Hephaestion? Alexander’s only mortal weakness was found between Hephaestion’s thighs.
Jesus? I wouldn’t put it past him and his beloved disciple John. Should I go on?”
Japheth tilted his head and looked at Rebekkah anew, like he was seeing her for the very first time, “That’s quite a list. You’ve done your homework.”
Rebekkah nodded, “I love those guys. And I love you, too.”
Japheth blinked, relief washing over him as if a weight had been lifted from his chest, “You love me?”
Rebekkah laughed, “Of course, I love you, Japheth. You’re my partner in prayer, my future Gemini-winning co-co-host, and my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?”
“I just… didn’t want anything to be in the way,” Japheth smiled, finally able to breathe. “So, no more secrets?”
Rebekkah shook her head, “None. Now, let’s get to work. We have songs to shortlist by sin and then to reform, rectify, remedy, and rewrite; costumes to colour coordinate and bedazzle; and we need to sharpen our swordplay of raillery, ripostes, and repartee.”
“Yeah, we should discuss what we want to talk about, too,” Ronald suggested as he stood from where he’d sat cross-legged on the asphalt during Japheth’s coming out to Rebekkah, watching it like a Fringe Festival performance.
He yawned and stretched his arms above his head as he rose to his full five foot three inches, “And we’ve got what? Two days? Three tops?”
Japheth grimaced, “Yeah, not a lot of time, but we’ve got our rehearsal hall in Rebekkah’s basement, my closet is already colour coordinated so we have a head start there, and we’ve got each other. And if we’re going to do this, we do it right. No half-measures. We take those sinful lyrics and…”
“Make them holy!” Rebekkah interjected, throwing her hands up like a conductor leading a heavenly choir.
Ronald chuckled, “I don’t know about holy, but we’ll make them something. Let’s just make sure we don’t get sued.”
“That’s why we’ve got Micah on our side,” Japheth said, grinning.
“Speaking of sexy,” Rebekkah added with a sly smile.
“Were we…?” Ronald scrunched his nose, wondering what he’d missed.
“Can we also find a way to make the radio station’s theme song a little sexier? You know, really give the listeners something to talk about? I just think if we’re going to grab listeners by their earlobes, the organ music and Gregorian chant of the station channel ID may need to be redone.”
“Are you saying you want to give WWJD a make-over?” Japheth teased.
Rebekkah winked, “Well, if the beard fits…”
Japheth laughed, and for the first time in days, everything felt right. Trinity was stronger than ever, and with their band of merry men, and one fabulous woman, they were ready to take on Greater Napanee.
Ronald reached into his pockets and pulled out three cans of root beer and passed them around, “To Trinity. To stealing songs and resharing them with our town, thirsty for good news. And to doing it all… with style and swagger.”
They raised their cans, clinking them together like it was the finest champagne. “Trinity today, Trinity tomorrow, Trinity forever,” Japheth toasted, grinning from ear to ear, feeling lighter than he had in years. Everything was falling into place.
* [Note to reader: If you’ve been mispronouncing his name in your head or mouthing it awkwardly each time it appears in a sentence or silently cursing me because it did indeed sneak up on you in another paragraph, please go back to page 1 and begin again–correctly this time.
Don’t worry, we’ll be right here when you return and we can all continue with confidence. Respectfully yours, the Author.]