Chapter 38
Layla
Icurl up on the couch and stare blankly at the Christmas tree sitting in the corner of my living room with tears in my eyes.
The holiday came and went without anything more than a simple text from Levi, wishing me a Merry Christmas, but it was anything but merry.
I cried myself to sleep, my heart aching and filled with regret.
Gabe walks in the front door and shakes his head when he spots me. Stomping towards me, he flops onto the couch by my feet with a heavy sigh. “You fucked up, Layla. Apologize.”
“I know I did and I already did. Many times.”
“Not to his face since the day he walked out. An I’m sorry text to someone who betrayed you is like a punch in the face.”
My gaze narrows on him. “Not helping,” I grumble.
“Women always want a genuine apology face to face. Men want that too and Levi deserves it. He asked for time and he’s had it. Stop sulking, clean your ass up and go beg for his forgiveness.”
Tears blur my vision and I ask, my voice barely a whisper, “What if he doesn’t forgive me?”
“You can’t live in fear Layla, you’re stronger than that. And I think he meant it when he said he needed time. You forgave him for being a dick, now it’s his turn to do the same for you. But if you don’t ever take a chance, you’ll never know if you missed out on what your life should’ve been.”
Forcing myself to move, I mumble my appreciation as I head for the shower, “Thank you, Gabe.”
An hour later I’m standing in front of Levi’s place dressed in a white skirt and a basic red polo with an apple pie in my trembling hands, scared out of my mind. Taking a deep breath, I raise my hand and knock. Barely a moment later, Levi yanks the door open and freezes.
My breath hitches as I stare at him dressed in black net shorts and a white Lions t-shirt, unshaven and his mouth open in surprise. “Layla.”
“Hi, Levi. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was really hoping we could talk. May I come in?”
“Um, yeah,” he mumbles and scrambles back. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Maybe water? And I brought you an apple pie.”
He huffs and takes it from me. “Thanks, and thanks for the ornament too.”
My heart clenches hating the distance between us. He disappears into the kitchen with the pie and returns with a glass of water and handing it to me without a word.
Walking across the room, he sits down in the recliner, where there’s no room for me. My heart drops further, losing hope, but now that I’m here, I’m not going to leave without speaking up.
“I’m sorry, Levi. I know those are only words, but I am so sorry. I’m hoping that you’ll give me a chance to prove to you just how sorry I am.”
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “Look, Layla. I get that you’re sorry, and that you regret it, but what I’m struggling with the most is the fact that you didn’t trust me enough to even have a conversation with me. Now that you feel bad, you suddenly trust me? I don’t buy it.”
I flinch, understanding washing over me.
Sitting down on the couch, I take a sip of water and begin talking.
“You’re right. It doesn’t make sense, but what’s crazy is that I already did trust you.
” He scoffs, but I keep talking. “I couldn’t come up with a reasonable solution and I was scared of losing you, so I said nothing at all.
I tried to tell you so many times, Levi, but I chickened out every time. ”
“Layla…”
Needing to explain, I continue, “My experience with a long distance relationship, even temporarily, has been my dad cheating repeatedly on my mom while my mom raised us and everyone worshiped him.”
“You know I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m not him.”
“No, you’re not, but you were a player in the past. I know it’s not fair, but it hurts thinking about all the women you’ve been with or could be with and when I hear other women talking about you.” I flinch at the thought.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m not interested. Since I met you, you are all I see.”
My heart lurches with hope. “I know, but I struggled a lot growing up. A lot of the girls were not nice to me and if it weren’t for Chloe’s visits to stay with her Nana, I don’t know where I would be.
The day before you came over, Chloe and I were Christmas shopping and ran into two women that have done and said some really mean things to me.
Because of them, I really struggled with my self-confidence. ”
“Layla, you’re incredible, don’t let anyone tell you different.”
“It wasn’t that. They were talking about you, asking why you were with me and saying they could get you to change your mind. They put it in my head that you would go back to baseball and leave me behind.”
“That’s not true. I asked you to come with me and you said no.”
Sighing, I nod. “Yeah, I did because I need to be there for my mom and my brother. Plus, my career is important to me, but I don’t want to take advantage of you like other people have in the past. I want us to be on even ground in our relationship…
if we have one. But I really don’t want to lose you, Levi.
If you give me a chance, I could come visit and we could be together during the off-season. Not just the off-season, but…”
“But we could figure it out,” he finishes.
“Yeah,” I answer, hopeful.
“I really don’t want to give up on us, Layla.”
My heart lurches as I suck in a lungful of air, trying not to cry. “Me neither. I love you, Levi.”
He gasps, his eyes flaring. “What did you just say?”
“I said I love you, Levi.”
“Can you come a little closer? I’m having trouble hearing you from all the way over there.”
I giggle, feeling like the weight of the world is being lifted from my shoulders. Crossing the living room, I stand in front of him seated in the chair. Staring into his eyes, I leave my heart open and vulnerable and reiterate, “I love you, Levi.”
A smile curves his lips and he pulls me into his lap, making me squeal.
“Good because I love you too, Layla.” His forehead falls to mine and he whispers, “So damn much.” He presses his mouth to mine and kisses me.
Sweeping his tongue inside, ours meet, tangling together in a slow dance with my heart full.