Chapter 11
Eleven
Jaclyn
It’s only been a day.
Twenty four hours to be exact.
It’s still loud in the house with the kids but it feels like something is missing.
For weeks, months, something has been missing and that’s just Hayden.
I’ve been keeping myself busy today.
Cleaning, folding clothes, writing a little bit while the kids were at school, and taking River to the park.
The kids were my anchor, my distraction.
In the past I didn’t want kids. I felt like having kids was going to be such a huge responsibility that I wasn’t ready for.
I was barely able to take care of myself when I first had Junior.
I could barely take care of myself so how was I supposed to take care of kids?
I picked Junior and Easton up from school a few hours ago. I’m cooking dinner while they are in the living room.
Junior is laying on the couch watching some sort of fight on the TV, Easton is laying on the floor building legos, and River is at the table, drawing.
I’m grateful for them.
Grateful for the mess, the noise, the life they bring into me whenever I feel like darkness strikes. Because the minute they get quiet, my overthinking gets worse.
I try not to let them see it. The way I keep checking my phone, waiting for a text from him or the way I stared out the window every time a car drove by like maybe it was him and he came home early.
He hasn’t.
I’m putting the kids’ mashed potatoes on a plate next to the homemade Romanian recipe my mom gave me that has a red sauce and chicken with other seasonings.
“Mom!” Junior yells from the couch. I check to make sure the stove is off before I walk towards the living room, looking at Junior. “Look at the TV!”
I turn and look at the flat screen TV and see Hayden on the screen, in the middle of a boxing ring.
Hayden mentioned that he had a fight during his trip. I wish I could have come to watch him, but I know this fight wasn’t the only reason he went to California.
“Daddy!” River exclaims in the background.
I watch as Hayden wipes sweat from his forehead and breathes heavily into the mic someone gives him.
“Hayden! That was a great knockdown. You never fail to disappoint us. What would you like to say to your fans tonight?”
He licks the sweat falling on his lip and places one of his hands on his hip. “I’d like to thank my fans for the constant love and support they show me, in the ring and out of it. I’m glad that I’m able to do what I love for a living, it’s a blessing.”
“And I noticed your family isn’t here with you tonight, they usually are. Anything to comment on that?” another interviewer asks.
He nods. “They’re at home supporting me.”
“Any honorable mentions tonight, Hayden?”
Hayden nods. “I’d like to mention my family tonight.
I always do when I win fights but I want to honor my wife who is taking care of our kids at home, waiting for me to get home.
” He’s looking straight into the camera, as if he’s looking straight at me.
“This win is for you, princess. All of my wins are. For every day you take care of the kids while I train or work. For every time you forgave me when I didn’t deserve it.
For loving the man underneath the bruises.
You’re the strongest person I know. Every time I step in the ring, I fight like hell to be worthy of you.
” Hayden exhales through his nose, his lips twitching into a soft smile.
“I don’t need a title or the rush. I’ve already got the only thing that matters waiting at home. ”
I stand frozen in front of the TV, my heart clenches so tight it’s starting to hurt.
Junior grins. “He’s talking about you, Mom.”
I can’t help but smile as I watch him on the TV. Reporters come closer to ask him more questions but he tries to get away.
The doorbell rings and River squeals, “Mama! The doorbell!”
I shake my head and walk out of the living room to go towards the front door.
And when I open the door, I freeze again.
They were everywhere.
Peonies.
Hundreds of them.
Soft pink petals overflowing from massive arrangements that lined my front porch like a fairytale exploded outside my house.
River comes out and gasps with a huge smile on her face. “Mommy! It’s flowers!”
I blink. My throat goes tight and my heart clenches again.
There were more than just a few vases, there were boxes, wrapped bouquets, and baskets.
And in the very center of the biggest bouquet sat a white envelope.
My name is written in his handwriting.
I step outside barefoot, the cool breeze hitting my arms and the scent of peonies blooming around me like summer air.
I take the envelope and open it to grab the note inside.
I read the words to myself as the boys and River look at the flowers.
I know this doesn’t fix it or my speech after my fight.
I know you're still mad but remember you told me once, peonies are your favorite. They are rare to find and only come around once a year. Well, princess, you were a rare one to find and trust me I’m not letting you go.
I’m not there but just know I haven’t left you.
I plan on coming back home, to our family, to you. I love you.
I grip the paper in my hand, heart in my throat.
Goddamn him.
“Who are they from?” Easton says, as he picks one flower up.
I swallow and tuck the note in my pocket before they can see the tears pricking my eyes. “Your dad.”
River tiptoes over to one of the bunches and presses her nose to a petal. “They smell so pretty.”
“Yea, they do,” I whisper.
We spent the next twenty minutes hauling the flowers in the foyer. Junior helped with the heavier ones, Easton carried the vases with care, and River grabbed the ones from the floor while also naming every single bouquet.
I set the biggest one on the kitchen counter.
Right where I’d see it every time I passed by.
I pull out my phone and go to his contact. I send him one text.
Thank you for the flowers, the note, and the speech. I love you. Please come back home in one piece so we can be a family again.