Chapter 12
Twelve
Jaclyn
When I walk downstairs to the kitchen, I can’t help but smile at the flowers filling every corner of the house.
The scent of peonies clings to everything, sweet, soft, and beautiful.
I brought one of the other vases and bouquets to my room on my side table so that I could wake up to them. I also put a vase in River’s room since she said she wanted to have some of the flowers in her room.
When I gave River a bath this morning she begged me to put some of the flowers in her bath. She giggled and splashed water around which made me smile. I took some pictures of her, mainly for me and Hayden and for us to put around the house.
Junior is on the couch playing video games with Easton as I hold River in my arms.
“Morning, Mom,” Easton yells when he sees me. “Are you making breakfast now?”
I roll my eyes.
This kid and his fucking breakfast.
Natalia texted me that she is stopping by today with Lilah since she took a trip here while Chris is practicing for the season. Natalia usually comes to Italy whenever Chris is busy with training.
“Yes, I’m making breakfast. Remember, Lilah and your Aunt Natalia are coming over.”
“Down, mommy, down.” River moves in my arms so I let her go and she runs to her brothers, probably going to beg them to play with her.
When Lilah comes over they’ll probably play outside or video games inside.
Lilah is about the same age as Junior since Natalia and I were pregnant around the same time which was right after I left Arizona to move back in with my mom for a little bit.
It’s the second day without Hayden and I hate how much I miss him.
I make breakfast sandwiches for the kids. For River I just make her eggs and bacon since she makes a huge mess whenever she eats a sandwich, but at the same time, she makes a mess with everything.
I clean up after breakfast and the kids go back to the living room to play games.
As I’m just finishing cleaning up, the doorbell rings.
I place the rag on the counter and go to the door, opening it.
I smile when I see Natalia’s bright smile with Lilah standing next to her.
After all these years, Natalia still looks like she could pass as a college student. Her bright and wide smile, light eyes, and blonde hair, make her look so full of life and young.
“Natalia!” I wrap my arms around her and she wraps hers around me.
“Ohhh, Jaclyn! I’ve missed you so much, you have no clue, it’s been so long,” she squeals when she hugs me back.
She walks inside the house with Lilah. “How are you doing, pretty girl?” I ask Lilah.
She looks just like Natalia with her long, bright, blonde hair. But she is a combination of Chris and Natalia and as she gets older she is for sure going to be having all of the boys after her. Chris better watch out for her.
She shrugs. “Good, just have school going on,” she says, not with excitement though.
“The boys and River are in the living room,” I tell her and she walks away leaving Natalia and I in the foyer.
“You have so many things to tell me.” Natalia wraps her arm around my shoulder as we walk towards the dining table so we can sit and talk.
I pour a glass of wine for Natalia and I since we always drink wine together whenever we are catching up.
It’s been a couple of months since I last saw Natalia. She usually visits once or twice a year. Or during the summer we travel to California, Utah, or New York to visit family, including Natalia.
I would say she is still one of my closest, if not, my only friend.
I do still talk to Max and Kayden from time to time.
Or if Hayden has fights throughout the year, depending on where the fight is, we’ll go with him so we can see family and friends from college.
“How have you been?”
“Good, nothing much has been going on. Chris has been busy with practice and Lilah is at school all the time. So I haven’t been doing much.
” She shrugs. “Now you have to tell me about you. You always have something going on, whether it has to do with Hayden, you’re insane mom, or the three kids you have under your roof.
” I take a sip of my wine. “Tell me what’s going on,” she insists, looking more worried than happy now.
“It’s just starting again,” I whisper. “The late nights, the blood, the lies. I thought we were past this but he keeps going back to Killian. He keeps choosing that world over me and I feel like I’m not enough anymore.”
Natalia’s face softens. “You think he’s choosing that over you?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. It just feels like we fight and make up and then it happens again. Like I’m waiting for the next late night or lie. The next time he comes home looking like he just came from war.”
“And the flowers?” she asks, looking around at the flowers that are in every corner of the house.
I smile, looking at all of them. “A peace offering. A beautiful, dramatic, expensive apology.”
Natalia smirks. “Classic, Hayden. Always doing the most.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Yea but it’s not enough. I need more than a grand gesture. I need consistency. I need him, not the version of him that shows up after the damage is done.”
She gives me a sad smile and traces her finger along the rim of her wine glass. “You’ve always been stronger than everyone I’ve ever known. You don’t always have to carry all of that. Hayden should be there to help you carry it and lift some weight off your shoulders.”
“It just feels like with Hayden, it’s never easy.”
“Life is never easy. Love is never easy. You and Hayden fought through hell for each other. He loves you and would probably die for you as you would do for him. You both created a beautiful, happy, and healthy family. Hayden right now is lost, but he’s slowly finding his way back to you it looks like,” she says, making me look at all of the flowers surrounding us.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know I’m right.” She smiles. “And until he comes back, you’ve got me and wine and Lilah terrorizing your son.”
I crack a smile through the lump in my throat.
“Thank you, Nat.”
She rests her hand on mine and squeezes softly. “You’re my best friend. I’m always going to be here for you.”