Chapter 18
Eighteen
Hayden
The smell of sweat and old leather hits me the second we step into the gym.
It’s not a fancy place, more grit than polish, more history than chrome. But that’s why I brought the boys here. This is where I learned discipline, control, pain, how to throw a punch without losing myself in the heat of it.
It’s been two months since California, since I got shot.
Since I almost lost my life and didn’t come home.
My abdomen still hurts a little bit but I want to get back into the gym and also show the boys what I do.
I have taken Junior to the gym with me in the past but since I’m not involved with Killian’s business anymore, I want to spend more time with my boys, showing them how to properly channel their anger like I did.
I haven’t been to this gym in a few years since I use my gym back in Italy and I fly Freddie out to train me. Whenever I come to Utah, I come to visit family for a few days before leaving so I don’t even have time to go to the gym and train.
Jaclyn is at my parents’ house with River. I decided it was time to show my boys where I first got into fighting, the place that landed me where I am today.
If I never ran into this gym, into Freddie, then I wouldn’t have ended up living with the Nights and I wouldn’t be where I am.
Junior’s eyes light up as he takes it all in. The boxing ring. The weight benches, the heavy bags hanging like ghosts waiting to fight. Easton clings onto my hand at first but eventually lets go, curiosity getting the best of him.
Junior has always liked it when I trained with him.
He thought it was fun and exhilarating.
Easton has always wondered what it’s like training and now it’s finally time I show him.
“You trained here?” Junior asks, craning his neck to look up at the rafters.
“Yea,” I say, tossing my gym bag down. “Back when I was a little older than you, Carter used to drive me here everyday after school to meet with my trainer, Freddie.”
“Uncle Freddie?” Easton asks, looking up at me with curiosity.
I nod my head. “He’s the one who found me and took me to Carter.”
“Was he mean?” Easton asks.
I smile a little. “Strict but he wasn’t mean. Just didn't know how to show that he cared. He was figuring it out, like I am.”
Junior nods his head, like he understood me while Easton just looked confused.
Easton is still young and trying to learn and keep up with how things work and what they mean while Junior is understanding and teaching what he knows to Easton.
I lead them to the mats and hand them each a pair of gloves. I drop to my knees between them.
I put the gloves on each of their hands. “Okay, so rule number one, fighting is the last resort. Not the first. You don’t start fights, you finish them.”
Junior nods his head and Easton mimics him.
The gloves on them were like twice their hand size and I know Jaclyn would want me to take a picture of them.
I stand and grab my phone. “Pose for your mom.” I hold the phone up and take a picture as they pose in front of the camera like little badasses. I chuckle to myself and send her the photo.
“What’s the next rule?” Easton asks.
I toss my phone to the side and start wrapping my hands as I say, “Rule number two is you protect two things. Your face and your pride. One with your hands and the other with your decisions.”
“What’s pride?” Easton frowns, trying to understand.
Junior answers before I can. “It’s what you feel when you do something right, even when it’s hard.”
That’s my kid.
But he’s smart just like his mother.
I stand there and demonstrate the basics to him.
Their stance, guard, and jabs.
Junior knows the basics from my training with him before.
He is quick, he has my speed and aggression. He is strong and smart.
Easton is a little clumsy but determined. He fell twice trying to throw a cross but laughed each time like it didn’t matter. As long as they are having fun I don’t care. Watching them hit the bags with their tiny hands in oversized gloves makes something in my chest twist.
They aren’t growing up like I did, thank god.
I’m doing something for the younger version of myself because he wasn’t able to have what I give these kids.
After an hour, they were winded and red faced but grinning ear to ear.
I give them both protein bars from my bag and ruffle their sweat-dampened hair.
“Are you proud of us?” Junior asks between bites.
I furrow my eyebrows at him. “Of course I am.”
Junior nods his head before eating his protein bar again.
A flicker of Jaclyn showing because I know she would ask something like that even though it’s obvious how proud I am.
They both beam like that means the world.
We get into my Porsche and drive back to Carter and Alex’s house.
I've had this car since college. I only ever drive the Porsche when I’m visiting since I keep it in the garage here.
It’s almost sunset when we pull up to the house. The porch lights are on and River is outside barefoot in her pink summer dress running around in the grass, chasing bubbles while Jaclyn sits on a blanket with Alex. Carter stands a few feet away, sipping on a glass of what I’m assuming is whiskey.
I park the car and help the boys out. We make our way across the yard. Jaclyn looks up as we approach, her face softening the second she sees me.
“Hey, fighters,” she says, Easton drops into her lap without hesitation. Junior sits beside her, still talking about his footwork and how he almost knocked a bag over.
His words, not mine.
I press a kiss to Alex’s head as she stands and walks over to Carter.
I sit beside Jaclyn. “You should’ve seen him. Kid’s got a wicked jab.”
Jaclyn smiles. “I’m glad but just so we’re clear, if either of them comes home with a black eye, I’m blaming you.”
“Fair enough,” I chuckle before pressing a kiss to her cheek.
She turns her head and connects her mouth with mine.
The world goes quiet when we kiss.
Me and her both smile into the kiss, like we can’t get enough of each other.
River toddles over and crashes into my arms making me disconnect my mouth from Jaclyn’s.
I pull her close and kiss the top of her head. “Hey my little princess, how was your night?”
“I played with bubbles, Daddy!” she squeals and I can’t help but smile down at her.
She looks just like her mom.
I need to be careful with her, that's for sure.
I turn my head and look over at Carter.
He nods once and I know it’s his way of saying he sees me, respects me, and is proud of me and the life I built even though I put him and Alex through hell.
Jaclyn leans her head against my shoulder as the sky turns a cotton candy pink behind us, the sounds of the kids filling the air like music.
For the first time in weeks, I don’t feel torn between two worlds.
I only want one.
This one.