Chapter 31 Jade
As it turns out, there was no need to worry, because the carriage attendant at the massive Ferris wheel didn’t even look up at us as we approached, and hardly any people were in line due to the late hour.
Even still, Tieran smoothly slid a hundred quid into the young man's hand, who didn’t bat an eye as he counted the money and motioned for us to get on the carriage that was slowly approaching.
The egg-shaped bubble has a single bench in the center surrounded by windows, allowing panoramic views of the skyline, and it’s moving so slowly, you can barely feel it at all.
I walk around the whole space, the skirt of my dress swishing along the floor as I come to stop along a pane of glass facing out.
Parliament is sprawled out on the right, the Tower of London on the left, with Tower Bridge spanning the gap between the two. God, this city is beautiful.
I absently wonder what my life would have been like if I had grown up here instead of back in Maine. Even if my dad had chosen to move home after the divorce and I just spent summers and holidays here, who could I have become?
Tieran settles in behind me, close enough that I can smell his cologne, fresh, with a bite of sandalwood and cedar.
“Stop thinking so hard.” His arms wrap around my waist, and his lips find their home, placing a soft kiss on the exposed side of my neck.
My eyes close at the contact, and I settle into him further, placing my hands over his on my waist.
“It’s hard to turn it off sometimes,” I admit.
“So tell me about it then.” His chin settles on my shoulder while his arms tighten around me.
“I don’t think I know what I’m doing anymore.
” The admission comes out as a whisper, but it feels like an explosion dropped into the middle of the room, sending debris throughout my carefully curated world.
It’s almost like finally speaking the things I've been feeling out loud releases this toxic gas of truth that slips through my grip when I try to gather it up and shove it back inside.
“Keep going.” Tieran nudges me with a nuzzle to my neck, sending shivers snaking up my vertebrae and raising all the tiny hairs on my body.
“Until I came here, I didn’t realize how backwards my priorities have been—how alone I’ve felt my entire life.
” In the distance, London sparkles under the light of the moon, bathing everything in its cool glow.
“I’ve been living my life on auto-pilot for so long, I never second guessed if I was on the right path—if what I was doing was truly what I wanted.
Everything I did was for other people. What do they want to see?
Will they like this outfit? How will they react to the breakup?
Should I go to this event because it will help my image?
It was exhausting.” I take a deep, fortifying breath.
“But when you live your life through someone else's lens, you’re really not living, are you?”
“No,” he breathes against my temple. His exhale almost feels like relief, and I know he must be thinking about the dad he loves who always worked too much and wasn’t present when he was home.
A hollow ache settles in my chest, forcing me to be honest with myself. I never understood how loud the loneliness was until he came into my life, and everything went blissfully quiet.
“I almost missed all this.”
“What?” he asks.
“Life. Friends.” The word huffs out of my mouth, the taste of it foreign on my tongue.
I guess it was before I moved here. I think of Aanya and Lottie, unable to imagine my life without random wine nights or having them screaming profanities that make the men around us blush during a match.
I think of Myles and Cavan, who have displayed superhero levels of loyalty to the people they love.
And then, I think of Tieran, an unexpected wrench thrown into my metaphorical machine, clanging around my hollow insides and disrupting everything about the way I view the world until I was forced to see the potential in what it could truly offer me—not what I could offer it.
Tears threaten to spring to my eyes because, despite my resistance, he never wavered in his quest to show me I am worth loving.
This is what it’s all about.
Not the business deals or the zeros in my bank account. Not the accolades from people who don’t know me. Individually, all those things are great accomplishments, but without people to share them with, they don’t have meaning.
Tieran places a kiss on the crown of my head.
“What does the woman who has everything want out of life, Jade? You want the moon? I’ll lasso it down from where you hung it.
You want a quiet life? I’ll get us a house out in the country where Pebble can run around in the garden out back and nap on the wildflowers.
Whatever it is, say the word, and I’ll give it to you. ”
I twist my neck and capture his lips with mine. “This,” I whisper against his mouth. “You. Us. This place. Our friends.” I search his electric blue eyes and find nothing but love. “I just want you.”
I spin in his grip, my hands grabbing hold of his torso, and crush my lips against his.
My pulse gallops to a run as his hands dive into my hair, expertly using them to tilt my head up and devour me. My grip tightens as I meet his tongue stroke for stroke, a fire starting to burn low in my core.
His scent curls around me, warm and inviting, when a wicked idea ignites. It’s foolish, stupid, risky, but with Tieran, I’ve never been able to think straight enough to see reason. Why start now?
My fingers trail lightly down his sides, coming to rest on the top of his belt before shifting inward.
Tieran’s lips move to my neck, nipping and biting on my pulse point, driving me mad with want.
It will never end; for the rest of my life, I will want him.
Beside me, inside me—everywhere all the time.
My hand shifts down further, grabbing him over his pants and already finding him half hard. He jumps from the contact, clearly not anticipating me being quite this brazen.
“What are you doing, Hellfire?” His head tilts in question, but his eyes burn as they stare down at me.
“I’m not denying myself what I want.” I pull on his belt buckle.
“You told me I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore, remember?
" I see the moment it clicks in his brain, the night he said those exact words to me as takeaway containers of noodles littered the table behind us and the television bathed us in its glow.
He groans. “We can’t. Not here.” I can see his desire to be rational fading. He and I are the same, insatiable in our need for the other, but his head is telling him to be cautious despite the appeal.
I, on the other hand, have no such compunction. I already accepted I was something of an exhibitionist now, because with Tieran, I’ve never cared where we are. I just know I need him.
He abruptly steps back and out of my reach before I undo his belt entirely. Tieran turns his back to me, walking the length of the glass pod, now halfway through its rotation, before he comes to stop at the other end.
He shoots a smirk over his shoulder before slowly pulling his loosened bowtie from around his neck. Impeccably muscled arms lift over his head, making his white button down pull tight across his back and diverting my attention momentarily from what he’s doing.
What is he—it registers two seconds later. He’s using his bowtie to wrap around the security camera in the far part of the room.
He gives me no time to ruminate on the fact that I didn’t even think to check for cameras, because he’s stalking towards me, gaze darker than I’ve ever seen it. I take a step back but bump into the rail screwed into the glass paneling.
Tieran grabs my waist when he reaches me, spinning me around to face the city views.
A laugh bubbles out of me at his dominance.
That is, until his fingers find the slit of my dress and dance up the exposed skin of my thigh.
“Is this what you wanted?” My amusement quickly turns into a moan as he dips his hand into the skirts of my dress and makes contact with my center, finding me already damp with arousal.
“Mmmm,” he grumbles in my ear. “Wicked woman.’ I gasp when a single finger dives beneath my underwear, stroking a lazy path through my slickening folds.
“You like the thought of someone seeing you being fucked so hard, you see stars?” I nod until my head falls back on his shoulder.
He focuses on my clit, rubbing in small lazy circles as I clutch his sleeve.
“You know what I like?” I stutter out an unrecognizable word in response.
“I like that I’m the only one who gets to see you like this, that I’m the only one who has ever made you feel mindless when you're always so focused, so worried about everyone else around you, wound tighter than a seaman’s knot.
” He catches my earlobe between his teeth. “Let me unravel you.”
Slowly, Tieran pulls my panties down, reminiscent of the night we first met. I kick out of them, the heel of my stiletto getting caught before he bends slightly and pulls them off completely.
Then, the infuriatingly genius man reaches up again and uses them to cover the camera resting slightly above our heads.
I can feel him growing hard behind me, his impressive erection pressing against my ass even through the voluminous layers of red silk.
He brings his hand back to my center, cupping me possessively, and I grab his arms. I love the feeling of him owning me like this, in a way I would only allow with him, because of who he is to me.
“Can I, baby?” he asks as he starts to tease me with his fingers again. A nod and a mangled cry is all I’m able to get out before he’s growling out a husky thank fuck in my ear.
Tieran doubles down on his efforts, and if it wasn’t for him holding me up, I would have crumpled to the floor in a heap of pleasure.