Chapter 33
I awoke the following morning with mixed feelings.
The memory of what had occurred between Mia and me was enough to put a huge smile on my face and lift my heart.
I still couldn’t believe it had happened and my heart thudded as I lay in bed, remembering the kisses we’d shared in the kitchen the previous evening, and all the things she’d said to me.
But I was also full of dread. Today I had to somehow figure out how to send Charlotte and Grace back to wherever I’d summoned them from, and I had no idea where to start.
It was clear to me that Charlotte wouldn’t go easily, and that she was going to make it as difficult as possible for me to return her – as if it wasn’t going to be difficult enough already.
There was a tap at my door and I sat up, frantically smoothing my hair at the thought that it might be Mia. But when the door opened it was Melissa who stood there, and I was surprised to see she was carrying a tray.
‘Breakfast,’ she said, smiling as she came towards me after nudging the door closed behind her with her foot. ‘I thought we could eat it together in here.’
‘You made me breakfast?’ Wow, a red-letter day all round!
But Mel grinned and rolled her eyes. ‘Now, how likely is that? Mia was already up and busy. She’d got our breakfasts ready and was going to come up here to tell you, but I said we’d rather have it in here.’
I tried not to feel too disappointed. ‘You did? Was she… I mean, did she mind?’
‘Of course not! Why should she? I explained that we have a lot to think about and we need some time together to go over some things. She completely understood.’
She placed the tray on my lap then hurried over to a tartan armchair that had been placed under the window. She pushed it closer to my bed and reached for her plate of toast, and a mug of tea, which she put on my bedside cabinet.
‘Is that all you’re having?’ I asked, noting the eggs Benedict that I’d been given, along with a croissant and a yoghurt. ‘This can’t all be for me?’
‘Toast and honey,’ she said. ‘That’s all I need right now. Don’t want to block the channels.’
I sighed inwardly and tucked into the eggs Benedict, which was as yummy as it looked and even tastier because I knew Mia had made it especially for me.
I couldn’t wait to go downstairs and see her again.
Even so, I knew Mel was right. This was a huge day, and we needed to think about what we were going to do.
‘Has Charlotte returned?’ I asked in between mouthfuls. ‘I didn’t hear anything last night.’
Mel raised an eyebrow. ‘It seems not. No one knows where she’s gone.’
‘Will that make things more difficult?’ I asked. ‘Can I actually send her back if I don’t know where she is?’
‘That’s a problem for later,’ she said. ‘First we have to figure out how you’re going to do this.’
It was the first time that she’d acknowledged it was me who was going to have to fix this problem and not her or us. Somehow it brought me no comfort. It just emphasised that this was all down to me. My fault. My problem.
‘I’m scared, Mel,’ I admitted.
She paused, toast in hand, then nodded. ‘I know you are. But Verity, you must believe you can do this. If you brought them here, then you can send them back. We just have to work out how it all happened.’
‘I don’t think I’m good enough,’ I murmured.
‘I’m worried I’ll fail, and then what will happen?
You saw how awful Charlotte is. She’s already hit Immi, and what if she decides she wants Callie out of the way?
What’s to stop her sneaking up behind her on the stairs and pushing her down? Callie wouldn’t stand a chance.’
‘You think she’d go that far?’ Mel asked, wide-eyed.
‘Don’t you?’
She leaned back in the chair and took a sip of tea as she considered the matter.
‘It’s hard for me to judge. I can’t see or hear her, so I’m going completely by one side of every conversation.
But I do know she poured water over Brodie, and I saw the mark on Immi’s cheek.
If she’s got it into her head that Callie’s an interloper and needs to go… ’
‘She’s an entitled bitch,’ I said bluntly. ‘I don’t like her at all, and I can’t believe she’s Lawrie’s mother. He couldn’t be more different.’
‘What about the other ghost?’
‘The old vicar’s wife? Apparently, she’s lovely and resigned to her fate. She won’t give me any trouble. At least I hope not.’
‘I wish I could help you,’ Mel said softly. ‘I feel so useless.’
In that moment I felt such a wave of compassion for my sister that I almost cried, but I knew I couldn’t acknowledge how great her loss was until she faced up to it herself.
‘It’s okay,’ I said. ‘It’s not your fault that your channels are temporarily blocked.’
She took another sip of tea. ‘I think we both know it’s more than that,’ she said quietly.
My fork remained in the air, halfway to my mouth, as I stared at her in amazement.
She shrugged. ‘I think it’s time I accepted that our mother’s fate is mine. My gift has deserted me and so have the ghosts. I’m never going to see or hear them again, am I?’
For a split second I was tempted to reassure her that there was always hope, but what good would that do her? She’d finally faced up to the truth, and I wasn’t going to waste that moment.
‘No,’ I said sadly. ‘I don’t think you are. And I’m sure that a few years down the line, I’ll lose them, too.’
She laughed. ‘Well, I think we’ve a while to go before that happens. You’re only twenty-eight, not washed up and old like me.’
‘Fifty isn’t old,’ I said. ‘You’re in your prime. And now you’ve accepted it you’ve got decades ahead of you to build a different kind of life, without all the stress of covering up and pretending and hoping. I think these could be your best years yet.’
She chewed her toast, thinking.
‘I suppose,’ she said at last, ‘I’ll have to fire Diccon. I won’t need an agent, will I? Not now I’m washed up and one of the normal people.’
‘Normal?’ I couldn’t help laughing. ‘I can’t see you ever being normal, Mel.’
She grinned. ‘Maybe not.’
We finished our breakfasts – Mel had my yoghurt as I ate the croissant with butter and jam – and then we sat back to consider what lay ahead of us.
‘Mia suggested that I recreate exactly what I did on Halloween night,’ I said nervously.
‘You don’t sound too keen.’
‘I’m not. It wasn’t a pleasant experience,’ I admitted.
‘Even so, I can’t think of anything else to try so I guess I’ll have to go ahead with it.
To be honest, I don’t know if I’m more scared of it all happening again or of nothing happening at all.
Because if that doesn’t work, what else have I got? ’
‘We’d have to call in the vicar and perform an exorcism,’ Mel said, winking. ‘We’d have to evacuate Agnes, Aubrey and Florence first, though. Just in case.’
‘I’m glad you’re here,’ I told her warmly. ‘Thank you for coming with me.’
Mel put the empty yoghurt carton and spoon on my bedside table and shook her head.
‘You don’t have to thank me, Verity. I’ve not been fair to you and I’m sorry.
All these years… I was so eaten up with jealousy and grief that I never stopped for one minute to think how you felt.
After your dad died I never once asked you how you were feeling.
No wonder you didn’t tell me that you’d seen him at his wake.
And then when Mum died, I was so grief-stricken and unhappy I could only see my own misery. You were just a burden.’
‘It’s okay,’ I said. ‘I understand.’
‘You shouldn’t say it’s okay,’ she said passionately, ‘because it’s not!
I’ve been so selfish and self-absorbed. I’ve never tried to see things from your point of view.
It was just me and Mum for so long, and then when you came along, she was so besotted with you I felt pushed out, which is ridiculous given how old I was.
I wanted her to miss me as much as I missed her, which is why I rushed into those stupid marriages.
Instead of trying to steal my mother back from you I should have gladly shared her, and I could have been the big sister you deserved.
When I found out you had the gift and I’d lost mine… ’
‘You don’t have to go over it, Mel,’ I said. ‘It’s done now.’
‘Don’t be so forgiving. You deserved better and I let you down. I’m truly sorry, Verity.’
‘I know you are, and that’s all that matters. We can’t change the past but at least going forward we’ll have each other. That means everything to me.’
She reached for my hand and squeezed it. ‘I told Diccon,’ she said. ‘About me losing the gift, I mean. He knows everything.’
I was astounded. ‘When did you tell him?’
‘Halloween night, when…’ She shook her head.
‘I woke up in his hotel room the next morning and I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid.
’ She looked seriously downcast as she relived that moment.
‘I don’t know why I told him, really I don’t.
And when I remembered what I’d done I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. ’
‘What did he say?’ I asked, amazed that she’d admitted the truth to Diccon before she’d told me. Before I’d even realised that she’d admitted it to herself.
‘He was shocked,’ she said, biting her lip at the memory. ‘But kind. He’s Diccon and you know what he’s like. He couldn’t be mean if he tried.’
‘And did you talk about it again in the morning before you left? Did you discuss your future career? Where you would go from there?’
She gave a bitter laugh. ‘Like I said, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
I told him it had been a great experience, but it was back to business from then on.
Then I went back to the cottage. I was going to tell you then – everything.
About me and Diccon, even that I’d accepted my ghost whispering days were over, but you weren’t there.
I was so worried about you. It really hit home at that moment how much I loved you and how I’d feel if anything happened to you. ’