Chapter 41
DOYLE
Ican take a lot of shit, especially from my friends. But one thing no one does is fucking ignore me without consequences.
Since Henrik hung up on me this morning, he hasn’t answered any of my calls. Even when I was going to tell him my comments about his girl and Ren might have gone too far. So fuck him. No apology.
He did text me. Once.
Get off Lee’s back about the edits. He’s doing a favor for me.
A favor from Lee… It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out he must be flying them somewhere. Henrik’s probably trying to impress her. Take a little personal tour of the Rockies or maybe do some shopping. Girls like to shop, right? Especially the kind of girls Ren pulls in.
Puck bunnies.
You’re being a dick again, I tell myself.
I am. Yeah. Because my whole world is screaming on the edge of falling apart.
We used to fit like a glove. A well-made, craftsman-style leather glove perfectly molded and buttery soft.
But now I can feel the seams bulging like Henrik’s trying to shove his whole fist through a single delicately crafted finger.
If anyone was going to destroy our friendship, Henrik would’ve been the last on my list. My money would’ve been on Ren for sure.
Though if he’s involved with Henrik’s girl, then yeah, that might be the imminent doom I’m sensing. I’ve never seen Henrik lose his temper, but if he really cares about her, this could be the final showdown that levels Mooseville and all it represents.
I cannot deal with more stress right now. Especially loss.
No one’s answering my calls. At least they’re telling the truth about her running off the road in the snow, because I can see tire marks at the stupid sign Ren put up. It’s all freshly plowed too. No shocker I find a strange car parked in front of Henrik’s cabin, but no one’s home. Again.
Surely they’re not still at Ren’s. Would Henrik risk spending so much time around the Hotshot?
I decide to swing by Leland’s first to be sure.
We’re not known to gather at his house, but stranger things could happen.
Besides, that’ll give me a chance to politely ask him to edit out the girl’s face again.
She’s probably a nobody but you just never know.
The band is incognito. The only reason I agreed to participate. It’s contractual. Ren knows my requirements. So for him to risk exposure…
Pisses me the fuck off.
Just so he can get his dick wet and wreck Henrik’s heart at the same time? Not on my fucking watch.
I’m in my car, so I’ve got to drive the long way around on the roads that form the boundaries of Henrik’s land rather than go straight across country.
A fucking waste of time because Leland’s gone too.
Normally that wouldn’t surprise me. He spends a lot of time at Henrik’s working on his books.
I can’t blame him in the slightest because Henrik’s a damned fine cook.
But if no one’s at Henrik’s, they’ve got to be at Ren’s, which is Trouble with a capital T.
The drive to Ren’s only takes a few minutes down the road but I’m stewing. My blood pressure’s damned near red line as I park in the circle driveway in front of his house.
So I make myself sit there and breathe. In and out. I check my phone to see if Alyssa has texted me. My text to her this morning at six AM glares at me.
I can be there in 90 and bring you home.
No response.
Which has nothing to do with my blood pressure.
Riiiiight. I’m not going to call her. She’s eighteen.
She’s independent for the first time in her life.
She wants her freedom. I’m not going to swoop in and start biting off heads before I know what’s going on.
She’s fine. Or she’d call me. My thumbs hover, fighting the urge to text her again. Just to be sure.
Goddamn it. Get your shit together. She’s not a toddler. You missed those years, remember? She’s an adult. Let her live.
I push up out of the car and shove my phone into my jeans pocket, but I don’t slam the car door.
No need to give them a heads up that the storm is on its way.
Same at the front door. I don’t knock. Ren never knocks where he goes, so why should I?
I slip inside the foyer but it’s all for naught because a dog barks, announcing me. I forgot about the Husky.
Standing there, my hand still on the doorknob, I take in the scene. Not quite believing my eyes.
Henrik’s lounging on the couch like he’s taking a nap.
He’s even got one leg stretched out. The girl is draped across him, low on his body, like she was just about to give him head.
Her hands are on his fly, her arms braced on either side of his hips.
His fingers in her hair. She’s wearing his shirt and apparently nothing else.
Leland’s got a front-row view and he’s not tearing his gaze away.
Neither’s Ren, even though he’s looking on from the side.
All three of them. I didn’t take Leland for a voyeur. Ren, yes. Leland, no.
Everyone’s sort of frozen except for the dog, who’s barking like I’m a masked burglar pulling up for a home invasion.
I’ve got long seconds to drink in the girl’s shapely thigh.
The rounded curve of her buttock. The blue flare of her eyes as she turns her head, widening with shock.
Her cheeks burn fire-engine red. Spluttering, she scrambles up off the couch like the big guy dumped ice-cold water over her head.
Then she runs. Upstairs. The dog hot on her heels.
“You really are an asshole.” Henrik’s tone is light despite his words. He swings his leg down off the couch, pausing a moment to adjust himself. His dick is damned near tearing his pants. Then he heads straight for me.
This is it. This is where he flattens me.
My life literally flashes before my eyes.
Kids on the ice, learning hockey. Falling, busting our asses, bloody noses and lips, scrapes and jammed fingers galore.
Henrik already twice as big as everyone else, coming over to help me up.
Now he’s going to murder me in Ren’s house. When all I wanted to do—
He grabs a suitcase, hefts it like it’s filled with boulders over his shoulder, and then follows her upstairs. Without another word.
Leland—the golden retriever of our group who gets along with everyone. Even me. Especially me—levels a murderous glare in my direction. “Damn it, D. You couldn’t have waited ten more minutes?”
Ren groans. “Even five.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Leland growls. “At least you had last night.”
“True. Sorry, man.”
Leland throws his laptop aside like it’s a piece of junk and starts to get up, but he’s groaning too. Hunched slightly, he breathes so deeply I can hear it. “I’ll be back in time for dinner. Gotta run home for an ice-cold shower. Not that it’ll help. Much.”
“Dude, I came three times last night, and I’m still in misery.”
“Again. Don’t. Want. To hear it.” Shooting another dark look at me, Leland heads for the kitchen. I hear him stomping his way toward the back door, and then it slams.
Leaving me alone with Ren.
“What do you want?”
I’m still shellshocked, if I’m honest. Henrik and his new girl were just about to… While our friends watched. And he was okay with it.
I mean, we sort of joked about it when we were younger. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all share a girlfriend? But that was before.
Before I married Bethany and had a kid. Leland married Corrine. And Ren and Henrik became famous.
Ren had girls all around him back then. Groupie fan girls with stars in their eyes. He never could refuse them.
I’d been so dismissive and smug in those days. I had a family. My shit was real. He’d never be real, no matter how many trophies and medals he won.
And then it all came crashing down.
“Earth to Doyle,” Ren says, louder. “What. Do. You. Want?”
I’m not even sure. I don’t know what to say. The earth is still crumbling beneath my feet. An avalanche ready to sweep me off a cliff. But it’s me. Not them. They’re safe on solid ground. Where Henrik’s letting them watch him get a blow job. While I’m standing at the door over a bottomless chasm.
“Never mind.” I force the words out, turning to leave.
“Dinner’s at six,” Ren calls after me. “Steaks on the grill.”
He’s offering me a hand over the edge. I know it. But pride makes me shut the door.
DARBY
Can you die from embarrassment? Seriously?
I can’t breathe. My stomach quivers like I’m going to hurl.
I run upstairs, through Ren’s bedroom, to the main bathroom. Sinking to my knees, I clutch the toilet, trying to suck in air. Crying. Hysterical. Trying to be quiet because I know they’re all downstairs listening.
What the hell am I doing here? Who even am I?
I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Not anymore.
I don’t know what came over me. I must be half out of my mind. Maybe I had a mental breakdown like Tim. Only instead of burning manilla folders in the dumpster…
I’m blowing a guy I just met on the couch while his buddies watch.
Skadi whines, pushing her head and upper body beneath my arm so she can lick my face.
The door opens and I know it’s Henrik. Of course he’d come check on me. I can’t bear to look at him. He must think I’m a whore. No wonder he mistook me for one of the hockey groupies. I can’t believe I was wallowing all over him like a cat in heat, begging for attention.
Shame burns my throat like acid, but I can’t throw up.
I hear water running, and then he gathers my hair aside so he can place a cold, wet washcloth on my neck. In case I really am going to be sick. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t touch me. Like he’s disgusted. And who wouldn’t be?
A sob tears through me, hurting my throat.
“Want me to kick his ass?” He asks gently. “I will. Without hesitation.”
His words don’t make sense. Him? Which one? Leland for looking up the shirt I deliberately unbuttoned?
Another sob rattles my chest. I knew he could see everything, and I didn’t fucking care. That poor man. All he wanted was some help on his book, and I gave him a full show.
And Ren. I don’t even know what to say. Last night was… I can’t even. Word. Think.
“I guarantee he’ll knock next time.”
Knock. So he means Doyle. Why would I want him to kick his ass? “Wha— what?”
“Doyle learned his lesson. He’ll knock next time. I’m sorry, babe. I was thinking with my dick, not my head. We should’ve taken you somewhere private to make sure nothing would interfere.”
We. He said we. Not I.
He’s apologizing. To me?
I have to see his face. His eyes. So I can see what he’s really thinking despite his easy, gentle tone.
As soon as I look up and start to turn my head, he picks me up off the floor and sets me down on the vanity.
His eyes are warm chocolate, his forehead smooth, not furrowed or tight.
He wets another washcloth and tenderly wipes my face like I’m a baby.
“I’m so sorry,” he says again. “I wouldn’t deliberately upset you for the world. I hate to see my Darby cry.”
Another sob escapes, more like a hiccup really. My Darby. Still? “You’re not mad?”
“Oh, babe, this is entirely on me. I should’ve insisted we move upstairs, but I was having too much fun teasing you, and watching you tease them. The only one I’m furious with is Doyle. If he hadn’t gotten his panties in a twist about the stupid edits, we could’ve had a damned good time.”
He tucks my hair back behind my ears, pressing the cool cloth to my burning cheeks.
“You were doing exactly what I’ve dreamed.
You make my dream possible. My best dream.
The impossible one. Don’t you know it yet, Darby?
I love you. I want to love you anywhere you want to go.
Here. My house. Vegas. Denver. The moon.
I’m going with you, and I’m going to love you every second you’ll let me stay by your side. ”
I open my mouth, but he presses the cloth over my lips.
“Don’t tell me it’s too soon, babe. I’ve been waiting to feel this my entire life. I don’t care if it’s five minutes, five days, five years, or five centuries. I love you. I’ll love you with my friends. I’ll love you alone. Whatever, whoever, wherever you want.”
I bury my face against him, clinging to him. Afraid. Exhilarated. Terrified. Joyous. The swinging back and forth makes me dizzy but he’s rock steady. Tall, hard, wide, unmovable like the giant redwood tree he’d joked about earlier.
He rests his chin on the top of my head, his hands moving lightly on my back. His fingers smooth my hair.
“I don’t know if I can ever look Leland in the eyes again,” I whisper, my words muffled against his shirt.
I don’t have to see his face to know he’s smiling.
I can hear it in his voice. “Just walk up to him and plant a kiss square on his mouth. Then watch all hell break loose. But we should probably slow down and let you catch your breath a little. They may want to kick my ass when I tell them, but let’s get you to Vegas without any more Sex Capades.
Get to know them better. Then if you want to come home and drag them to bed, I’ll grab them both by the scruff and toss them into bed for you.
Though if you’re going to take them both at the same time, we should probably do it here at Ren’s. My bed’s not quite big enough.”
The image of him picking up both men and tossing them on the bed makes me laugh, even though I’m still so embarrassed I feel like I could pass out from all the blood rushing to my face. He could do it too. He’s that strong.
He’s…
“Everything,” I whisper. Tilting my face up to his. “You’re everything I never thought I could have. I didn’t know it could be like this. That men like you even existed.”
He cups my face in both of his giant hands and leans down to whisper against my lips. “You’re my dream come true, Darby. I just thank the snow for bringing you home to me.”