Chapter 42
DARBY
Idally in the bathroom as long as I can. I shower. Blow dry my hair. Take my time putting on makeup, which I hardly ever do any more. He packed up everything I’d left at his place, including the other cashmere sweater in a lovely sage green.
This time, I’m wearing my most Grandma-like panties and my full-coverage bra. No one’s going to catch a glimpse of anything by accident ever again.
Probably.
I close my eyes for a moment, shaking my head. Embarrassment creeps back up my throat like a fever flush.
But…
When I open my eyes, I can’t lie to myself in the mirror. It’d been intoxicating to know I had three handsome men’s undivided attention. Knowing they were looking at me. Watching. Wishing they could touch me.
I’ve never felt such a heady surge of adrenaline before. I’ve never understood why people might want to jump out of an airplane or skydive off a cliff, but now I get it. I get why Ren loves to skate all out, as fast as possible, flipping over fire.
Heart pounding. Nerves tingling. So powerful. So… free.
Free to be careless. Flirty. Sexual. Dangerous. A seductress instead of an accountant. A fantasy lover. No consequences. No doubt.
Henrik made me feel safe. Safe enough to push the boundaries beyond my normal comfort zone. If I started to slip or fall, he would catch me. Even if it ruined the final shot of Ren’s big act.
Even if I wanted to take another man to bed. Or two.
My face is scalding hot again, threatening to melt off the bit of foundation I’d put on. No blush for damned sure. Staring at myself in the mirror, I try to imagine what might have happened on the couch if Doyle hadn’t come in.
Would I have been brave enough to pull Henrik’s cock out of his pants? While his friends watched?
Um. Yeah. Even now, I want to feel him in my mouth. I want to feel the aching strain in my jaws, opening so wide. I want to taste him. I want to see if I can possibly suck on him hard enough to make him lose some of that calm control he uses to make sure I’m satisfied.
If Leland had moved closer… Unzipped his pants…
I moan. Softly. My eyes are dark in the mirror. I can’t lie to myself.
I would’ve welcomed him. I would’ve arched my back and offered my ass and begged him around a mouthful of cock.
I want to. Even now.
And when he’s done…
Ren can take his place.
And then Henrik can finish me off.
I sway slightly. Fanning myself. I didn’t think I had the imagination for what I’d do with three men at once, but yeah. I do.
And this is just the beginning.
If I want to stay.
I do. Even though it doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what I’ll do for a job up here in the mountains. Melissa approved short-term remote work, but she might not allow it permanently. What if… I lose my job? Am I willing to take that risk?
Kirstin will still be my friend. We were friends before she helped me get the job. She’d understand. She’d be happy for me. I can already hear her squeals of excitement as I tell her all the juiciest details about my new life…
In fact, there’s nothing stopping me from simply swinging by Sunshine’s office and dropping off my laptop and badge off with Bill the security guy. I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. Then I’d never have to go back.
Freedom. Like I’ve never known before.
Of course, I have an apartment lease to consider. But it’s a contract with built-in ways to break it. People break leases all the time. I learned that all too well when I had to buy out the bakery lease and sell off all the equipment.
I have a nest egg saved up. I’ve paid my parents back. My car’s paid off. I don’t have many other personal bills, but I would need to find a way to make at least a little income to pay my share. Cover Skadi’s vet bills and her food.
But these are all mole hill problems. Not mountains.
Even if it was Mt. Everest…
My redwood tree loving lumberjack would simply pick it up and throw it out of my way. All I have to do is ask him.
No, that’s not true. I wouldn’t have to ask him.
All I have to do is let him.
Let him love me.
If I dare.
But first, I have to be brave enough to walk downstairs and face everyone.
Not everyone on the planet. Just three men. Who all want a chance with me. No one’s going to embarrass me except maybe Doyle, if he’s even still here. If he does, Henrik said he’d knock his teeth out. He’s a man of his word.
They want me.
It makes me giggle, shaking my head, my cheeks heating, but also my eyes sparkle. So I make myself say it again. They want me. Three men want me.
I’m not going to hang my head and slink. I’m not going to run away.
I’m going to go downstairs. I’m going to smile. I’m going to talk.
I may even flirt. A little.
Because Henrik said he loves to watch me tease them. As long as I’m willing to let him tease me too.
While I’m making myself face some truths, I ask the hard questions too. What if this is a bust and Henrik gets tired of dealing with the complexities of a relationship between me and his friends?
What if he gets jealous?
What if it’s just a one-time thing with Leland and he’s done? But I still have to see him all the time because he’s Henrik’s friend?
What if Ren tries to Hotshot his way around the Mighty Zon and score behind his back?
What if Doyle… Continues to be a pain in the ass? Hates me forever? Leaves Mooseville and breaks up the friend commune? All of the above?
Any one of those options would suck. It’d hurt, either me or one of them. I might have to load up my SUV and drive off for good. I might have to call my parents for help. I might have to call Kirstin to come get me. Her husband’s cop friend. Someone.
Though I can’t imagine Henrik would force me to stay if I really wanted to leave. He might look like a bully or a bouncer, but he’d never hurt or scare me. Not on purpose.
I can take my shot… Or I can play it safe and stay on the bench.
I can’t help but laugh again, shaking my head. I don’t know anything about hockey but I’m starting to use sports metaphors even in my own head. The guys are rubbing off on me in more ways than one.
Skadi sniffs the air and yowls several long Husky sentences that sound like, “I smell dinner so hurry up.”
I drop down to one knee and hold her fuzzy face in my hands, staring into her eyes. “I’m scared,” I admit softly. “I’m scared I might fail. I might slip and bust my ass in front of everyone. But I’m going to do it anyway. I’m going to shoot my shot.”
She yips and wags her tail, which I’m pretty sure means, “It’s about fucking time.”
HENRIK
I wait for Lee to return before I have my man-to-men talk with them.
“I’m only going to say this once. Nobody pressures Darby about anything sexual. Not a joke. Not innuendo. Nothing. Don’t even hug her unless I say so. I promised her no one would even think about sex until we get back from Vegas. She’s embarrassed enough as it is.”
“Figured so.” Lee nods, scuffing a hand through his hair. “I didn’t like seeing her upset.”
“Agreed,” Ren adds with a scowl. “Doyle can go fuck himself.”
“You didn’t even see her crying in the bathroom. That’s not happening again. Where is he, anyway?”
Ren shrugs. “He left. I told him we were having steaks tonight, but he didn’t seem interested.”
“Sure.” I roll my eyes. Only a fool wouldn’t be interested in what we have developing with Darby. “Anyway, be on your best gentlemanly behavior. She needs to feel comfortable with us again before dabbling in anything more. If we rush her, she might leave for good.”
“Got it,” Lee says.
I narrow a hard look on Ren.
His eyes widen, but his lips quirk in his trademark cocky smile, dimples and all. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I grumble. “What do you need help with?”
By the time we get the grill heated up, salad made, and potato wedges in the oven, I hear Darby and Skadi coming downstairs. I move to meet her immediately, putting my arm around her, making sure she knows I’m on her side. Always. No matter who we’re facing off against. Even my best friends.
Her eyes are still a little puffy but she’s gorgeous in that damned sweater Lee bought her. Her shoulders are tight and she locks her arm around my waist, holding on for dear life.
Ren pours her a glass of wine—the same she enjoyed last night. “Perfect timing, Darby. Leland just went out to check the steaks.”
She takes the crystal glass, looking everywhere but his face. “Thank you.”
Lee pops his head in the door. “How do you like your steak, Darby?”
“Medium is fine.”
Skadi lets out a high-pitched bark that makes her jump against me. Then she laughs, and some of the tension straining her shoulders eases. “Though if you have some fatty pieces to spare, Skadi prefers rare.”
Lee salutes with the tongs. “You got it, Skadi.” Then he shuts the door. Though I know damned well he’s making sure he can still see us through the glass as much as possible. And he sure didn’t miss the sweater.
“I thought you were cooking tonight,” she says to Ren, finally daring a quick glance to his face.
“I am.” He winks at her, flashing his pearly whites. No idea how he managed to keep all his teeth with how many fights he started. “With help. I’m using my resources, isn’t that right, Zon?”
I let out a sour grunt. “The only thing I can say you did was provide the space and the resources. Though I have to admit, your freezer is better stocked than mine.”
“That’s not true,” he protests, laughing. “I opened the bottle of wine.”
“Last night.”
He rolls his eyes and sashays over to open the oven door. Like he really knows what he’s looking at.
But it makes her laugh, and the last bit of unease dissipates between all of us.
We keep up the easy rapport and laughs throughout dinner. Skadi gets all the trimmings. We play rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to take her out before bed. Lee wins. He goes to the door, tugs on his coat, and opens the door, looking back at her, sitting by Darby’s feet.
For a heart-stopping second or two, I fear the dog won’t go with him. Their relationship did get off to a rocky start when he tried to throw Darby out, not knowing who she was or what was going on. But then Skadi gives her tags a jingle and trots outside with him. The grin he shoots back at us…
Pleased. Proud. I haven’t seen such an easy smile on his face in a long time, other than when he finishes a book.
When they come back in, he keeps his coat on and stands by the door. “I’m going to head home to get some shut eye. See you all in the morning.”
“Oh.” Darby looks up at me and then back to Lee. “Wait a second.”
She gets up from her chair and walks toward him. A little panicked, he looks to me, and I give him a subtle nod. Whatever she does, I’m cool with despite the game plan I gave them earlier, because it’s her choice.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get much work done on your book.” She hesitates, not quite looking up at him, though she’s close enough to touch him. If she wants. “And about, er... The show.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he whispers, his voice cracking.
It makes his cheeks redden to match his hair.
When she finally looks up into his face, her lips quirk, because he’s fucking adorable.
Even I see it. “It was the best thing I’ve seen in my entire life.
The book can wait. Besides, you’re giving me new inspiration. I may branch out into other genres.”
She laughs softly and leans up to press her lips to his in a chaste but lingering kiss. His hands hover, not quite touching her shoulders. No doubt remembering my warning.
When she steps in closer and wraps her arms around his waist, he finally drops his hands, pulling her in tight. His face against her hair.
“Thank you,” she says softly. “For flying us to Vegas. I know that’s probably not cheap. Let me know so I can at least chip in to cover expenses.”
He huffs out a laugh. “No skin off my nose. If you want a bill, you’ll have to send a query to S?ren Enterprises. I run the plane for them.” He presses another kiss to her cheek. “Love that color on you.” Then he ducks outside and quickly shuts the door to limit the cold blast inside.
When she turns around, her narrowed gaze lands on Ren, who’s dropping a pod into the dishwasher. That I loaded. “S?ren Enterprises?”
“Never heard of them,” he says innocently. “Besides, it sounds like a company, and they can certainly cover a little pleasure jaunt to Vegas every once in a while.”
“We can afford it, babe.”
Her eyes flare as she looks at me. “You too?”
“We all own a share. Even Doyle.”
Ren mutters, “For now.”
Now it’s my turn to give him a hard look but he just shrugs.
I make sure the oven’s off, while he locks the doors and turns off the lights.
“Remember I told you a certain someone’s good with finances.
We also had the benefit of very nice professional hockey salaries on a team who won the Stanley five times in a row.
The bonuses alone paid for everything you see here.
So don’t go worrying about a quick trip to Vegas, or any other cost-analyses you might be running in that pretty head of yours.
If you need a balance sheet, Ren can show you when we get back. ”
“Already have an appointment set with my lawyer.”
I grin, giving him a nod of approval, though Darby’s looking back and forth between us, her suspicion growing.
“Why do you need a lawyer?”
“To make sure my affairs are in order in case I slip on the ice and crack my skull open.”
“Ren…” Her voice lowers, her hands on her hips. “You’ve never fallen a day in your life. Let alone on the ice.”
I grab her and give her a playful toss over my shoulder so I can carry her upstairs. “You need to see more of our games, babe. He falls all the time.”
“Only when someone takes a cheap shot,” he protests.
“Which was all the damned time. It’s not a good game until the Hotshot’s bleeding.” I pause in the hallway like I did the night before, bringing her down in front of me, cradled in my arms like a bride. “Do you trust me to keep my word? Or would you rather sleep in the guest room?”
“I trust you.” She flutters her long lashes up at me and bites her lip, making me groan. “In fact, I’m wondering if I could maybe convince you to change your mind.”
I growl, deep and mean, striding into Ren’s room so I can toss her on the bed. “Not happening, babe. Not tonight. Not tomorrow, assuming we spend the night in Vegas. Not until you say, ‘take me home, babe.’”
She laughs, her eyes sparkling. “I don’t call you babe.”
“Call me want you want, babe. As long as you come home with me.”