Blood and War

Chapter 40

Forty

DEMITRIA

F or days they traveled toward the looming mountain beyond the canyon. Haunting each and every one of them with what could very well come to pass. Would they even be able to stop Lucifer? The way Kellan had spoken about his time with the Dark King scared Demitria more than anything. Her being nervous was one thing, but him? The Horseman, War? That was something else entirely.

They passed nothing during their journey. No life along the way. Lucifer’s army seeming to have decimated every community in their wake, beating them to every ounce of life that had been in their path. Demitria could tell that it bothered the others, Jace especially. Having lived through demon destruction once, seeing place after place burned to the ground was igniting a rage in him that she’d never seen until then. His once fluid movements now harsh, his stature hardened. Every time he spoke his answers were short. Never once had she seen him so tense. So filled with a rage, akin to the one she’d harbored. Gone were his carefree ways, and the simple smile he’d been known for around Solis.

For so many years they had hated all of their kind. Angels and demons alike. But things had changed since the Horsemen had come around—for her anyway.

Jace hadn’t bore witness to the gentle side of Kellan. The side that, despite every bone in her body telling her otherwise, she’d been drawn to inexplicably. Ensnared in a web that she couldn’t get out of. She wasn’t so sure she even wanted to anymore.

She still hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell Jace everything about Reim. About how she’d been captured and tortured to the brink of death by him, and other demons like him. By a Demon Lord. She couldn’t suppress the shudder that took hold. A wound still too fresh. She wouldn’t tell him .

“Are you alright?” Kellan rode beside her, close enough to rest a warm hand on her thigh. “You’ve been quiet all morning.” She honed in on that hand. The muscle beneath that touch. It nearly sent a shudder through her. After the way he’d held her in the mist she couldn’t get the thought of him out of her mind. The way he’d soothed her. Caressed her.

Fuck.

Demitria hadn’t been able to get the thoughts out of her head. Not since that early morning at the cavern, in fact. Filthy thoughts that she’d had no place to be thinking. Not now. Not when what loomed ahead. Maybe when they had a promise of another day. When a battle wasn’t days away.

If they made it out alive, she’d do more than just thinking those thoughts.

“Just thinking.” She replied, begging the heat in her body to simmer. It cooled considerably as she thought about the Dark King. “About everything. Reim… Lucifer.”

“That demon filth has paid for what he’s done. Don’t give him any more satisfaction by paying heed to what he’s done.” Kellan’s eyes were dark as he spoke, the topic striking a chord in him.

“It’s Lucifer.” She sighed. “I’m scared.” It was hard for her to admit it, and he respected her that much more for it.

“You have nothing to fear.” His smile was genuine. Kellan squeezed the leg his hand had still been resting on, driving his words true. “I will not let anything harm you.”

She believed him. Gods, did she ever.

They’d nearly reached the expanse of the mountain, now. The canyon days behind them as they rode for hours on end. Some of the angels went ahead to scout, only coming back the night before with word of a large homestead. They’d decided, as a group, to travel there. To take up residence before they made the trek to Lucifer.

She saw the large chain-link fence surrounding the land, first. Then the massive expanse of the house, with several outbuildings further back. An estate of some sorts it seemed, from many years ago. A winding, overgrown gravel road led toward the home. And from what they could see, it was mostly intact. From a time when wealth was power, and people collected more than they needed. Living in luxury, and owning lands the size of a small town. It could have been that, a community to many people. And yet… the estate lay barren. Overrun. As the mountain range drew closer with each passing hour, it was time to plan. To strategize how they’d kill Lucifer, and end the war that threatened their entire world.

A large stone and iron gate loomed overhead, nearly eight feet tall. She and Kellan spent nearly twenty minutes inspecting it, and found it to be in surprisingly good shape. A welcoming barrier from the demons she knew would be prowling the area. The yard was overgrown with weeds and bare trees. Not burnt. Possibly even alive . She couldn’t let herself get excited at the possibility. Dry grass as high as her waist sprouted in places while muddy vines climbed their way over the brick and wood siding of the massive house, eating its way through it like a disease.

Eire and Kane peeled off from the group to scout. Arakiel and his angels took to the skies for an overhead view while Kellan and Gabriel waited with the others. Watching should anything come after them.

“The house is empty.” Gabriel spoke. “Has been for some time.” Demitria knew he had abilities far greater than anyone here. It was why he’d been the unspoken leader of the Horsemen.

“We go inside.” Kellan nodded, motioning for Demitria to follow behind him. She did, the others followed suit in a tight line.

Kellan nearly kicked down the front door, only managing to stop himself inches before his boot hit the hard wood. Forgoing for a different approach. Less openings, the easier it would be to defend. Having your enemy waltz in the front door would be frowned upon. Laughed at even.

Realizing he knew no other way than to break his way through, Will stepped in. “Allow me.” He smirked, pulling a long, needle-like blade free from a hidden sheath. Demitria hated that he was the one who stepped up. She sneered at him.

Will knelt before the door and inserted the blade into the delicate lock. Listening, then twisting. Shaking it ever so slightly. The audible click came a second later. He’d gotten them inside. It still didn’t change her feelings about him.

Giving the two of them a grin, Will flung the front door open and motioned them inside. “After you, your highnesses.”

She could hit him. Hit him so hard she’d render him useless. Gods, she hated him with every bone in her body. His attitude, his personality… everything. Everything about the man just made her mad, and his twin was no different.

“Not worth it.” Kellan muttered, as if reading her thoughts, and guided her inside before she could do anything stupid.

Inside the massive house was drab. Frames and vases broken to pieces lay along the floor. Carpets stained with gods knew what, curtains torn and shredded, and tile flooring cracked and broken in more than one spot throughout. It had been lived in, probably by multiple people on numerous occasions. It was a miracle it was empty now. But it was a place to stay nonetheless, and Demitria was grateful to just have a roof over her head and to not be sleeping in a cave again.

She walked with Kellan, inspecting room after room. Each one trashed beyond repair. Hardly any furniture remained intact. There was no food in the kitchens, but she hadn’t expected there to be any really. Jace and Cory had offered to go hunt for it, claiming to have spotted signs of rabbits on the property. She nodded, letting them leave with the promise of their return. Between the angels and the Horsemen, she was confident they’d be protected on all fronts. At least for tonight.

It took an hour for the others to settle in and pick rooms for the night. The Horsemen staggered themselves around the house. For protection, they’d claimed. The angels did the same. Demitria lost track of just how many rooms the house contained. Too many, really. More than anyone should have ever coveted.

Demitria took up residence toward the back of the building. Surprisingly cared for, as far as cleanliness went. She still didn’t trust the blankets that were on the bed, and a piece of her ached at the one she’d lost to the flames back in Solis. But the mattress? Gods, she’d take the gamble to sleep on a mattress again. The back of the room opened up to a tall, glass door that led outdoors. She promised herself to explore outside once she was more settled. See what the estate really had to offer. In another life, she could have been happy there. Content, to spend her days on a property like this. There was more than enough room to farm whatever she wanted, and she swore a greenhouse lay at the back of the property. There seemed to be plenty of edible grass for Atlas, and she’d never have to worry about him ever again. She’d repair the iron fence somehow, make it safe for those that chose to join her. Jace. Cory. Kellan.

In another life.

She didn’t get that luxury. Didn’t get to live her days, happy and carefree. Not with him. Not when they were so different. Worlds away.

A knock on the door pulled her from thoughts of what would never be.

“Nice place.” Jace let himself inside, letting his weary body flop down onto the soft mattress. “Managed to catch a few rabbits. One of the angels said they’d prepare them for everybody.” He patted beside himself, beckoning her over. With a smile, she obliged. Jace shuffled over the remaining foot, and she curled into him. The familiar smell of mint wafting through her nose as her eyes closed.

“I miss this.” She sighed, not moving away as he threw an arm around her. “When everything was easy. Before everything happened.”

“I don’t miss the responsibility,” He started, laughing for the first time in days. “But I agree. I miss spending time like this. I know we haven’t been traveling long, but I feel like I hardly get to spend time with you anymore.” Jace couldn’t be more right. She’d been so caught up with this gods damned war, and most importantly, Kellan. So caught up in her own emotions that it felt as if their friendship had been tossed aside. They’d always fallen back into that seamless rhythm again. It came easy, but the distance was different this time. Both of them knew it.

“It was like that before we got here.” Before he got here, she thought. Demitria didn’t have the heart to say it aloud. Knowing very well how her feelings with the Horsemen had affected their relationship. How she’d found herself instinctively stepping away from her best friend’s touch, when before she’d reveled in their closeness. Sought it out for years to ground her. Jace only nodded, agreeing. He wouldn’t voice the issue, or rather his issue with Kellan.

“Want to know what else I miss?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“What?” His fingers softly trail down the smooth skin of her arm, and she moved it away.

“That damned roof.” Leaning back so she could look at him, her face straight for only a moment before she erupted with laughter.

“Even waking up in the rain?”

“Even waking up in the rain.” He grinned. They said nothing for a moment, but he sat up. Moving away from the bed. “Do you ever wonder if this is worth it?” Refusing to meet her gaze, his eyes fixated on a chair in the corner. Looking for something, anything of interest in the grain of the wood.

“Jace? What do you—” The bed groaned softly under her weight as she sat up. “What are you saying?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. Is everything with them worth it? All of it.” Jace’s words were heavy, filled with a hatred she hadn’t been able to place.

Demitria hadn’t realized he held such a resentment toward the Horsemen. She hated how the conversation had turned so quickly. One minute, they were reminiscing about old times, now it was the Horsemen. Not openly admitting to it, but she knew he’d directed every word about Kellan. She hadn’t noticed the change in Jace. Always knew that he was weary of him, but the sudden hostility was something foreign to her. Something she was just beginning to see. The mistrust of the siblings was widely known, but this? When they—when he had done nothing wrong? Had never even laid a hand on him, or hurt him in any way. Protecting her was the only thing Kellan had done since the moment the two had met, even when he’d been following orders. And if that was a crime? Jace would be guilty a thousand times over.

“Where is this coming from?” Closing the distance between them, she put herself between Jace and the chair he’d been so intently staring at. Forcing him to look at her. “How did all of this just come out of nowhere?” Her eyes narrowed, one hand resting on her hip as the other clenched into a tight fist. “Why does everything have to be so different with you?”

“You think I’m the one that’s different? That I’m the one who’s changed?” Taking a step toward her, the friends were barely more than a foot apart. “You might want to look in a mirror before you go around saying I’m the one that’s different.” Words laced with venom, he’d never before spoken to her like this. “It’s beings like them that killed our parents, Demitria.” The blow was low, and he knew it. Knew it had wounded her as she gaped at him in horror. “Yet you’re so keen to spend all your time, running around this damn world with them.”

“ He didn’t kill our parents, Jace. The fucking demon rotting in that clearing, did. Kellan never raised a hand to any of us. If it wasn’t for him, I would not be standing here.” Side stepping away from him, she made for the door. Getting away was the one thing she had to do. To leave the damned room before anything else could break her heart. He was her family, the closest thing each other had left of it, but his words had stung. Like a poison working its way through her, numbing her to the bone.

The bedroom door slowly opened before her. She could hear Jace turn from the creak of the floorboards. Could practically hear the cringe as his face contorted into a look of pure disgust. “Impeccable fucking timing!” He spat the words, hands thrown skyward as he brushed past, shoulder connecting with her body as he stormed out the door. Shoving the Horseman in the process.

Kellan met her stare. It was strange, seeing the emotion his face held. Gentle, yet guilty. So soft as he looked on. Demitria knew he had heard the conversation with his innate sense of the world around him. Maybe not all, but the parts about his siblings and himself, she was sure. Whether he’d been standing at the door when it happened, or caught it as he’d neared, she didn’t know. Maybe he pitied her? Felt sorry for the series of unfortunate events that had seemingly turned into her life. But the bright light from the oil lamp seemed to magnify the expression in his azure eyes, portraying the sadness and guilt he felt. He was blaming himself for everything. For the falling out with her people, and her fight with Jace.

“I’m—”

“This is not your fault.” She whispered, nervously toying with the sleeve of her shirt.

“I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for all this.” The sigh that left his lips tore at her. More than when Jace had spoken to her.

Her body ached, begging her to reach out. To touch his hand, arm, anything. She yearned for the contact. Every part of her craving the feel of him pressed up against her once more. “Don’t apologize for something you played no part in.” With a sigh that could rival his own, she took a step toward him. “He’s being a pig-headed idiot. None of this is on you, Kellan.”

“I came to tell you we were all meeting in the dining hall. To go over our plan. The others are all waiting.”

“What about Jace?” Despite what had happened, she knew he’d be at it. As mad as he might be, abandoning her was something he wouldn’t do.

“Gabriel met him at the front door. He’s there.” Kellan tapped a finger to his head, as if she needed a reminder of the many abilities he possessed. Another thing that set them worlds apart. With a nod of her head, Kellan led her out the door, hand resting comfortably on her back as he guided her down the halls. She didn’t pull from his touch. In fact, she delighted in the way his hand pressed into her. The finger that lazily stroked soft circles against her lower back.

She shouldn’t have been thinking about this. Her mind needed to be elsewhere. Away from the hand that was igniting everything within her. They had a battle, a war that they needed to plan for. Something that required her undivided attention. But that was quickly swaying, and had been for some time now. Finding it harder and harder to keep her focus around him.

Kellan didn’t drop his hand until they entered the room.

Somewhere, they’d found a large white oak table and placed it in the center of the room. Around it, the three remaining Horsemen stood, along with the angels as they mulled over what looked to be a map. Jace and Cory stood amongst themselves, toward the back of the room. It didn’t surprise her that the twins and Tyler were nowhere to be found. Evan not being there did, though. It took everything in her not to meet Jace’s piercing look. To smile softly at Cory before tearing herself from them both as she strode to the table.

“So glad you two could join us.” Eire met her gaze, and all Demitria could do was shrug as she looked away. She wasn’t in the mood to fight with the female. It was exhausting, and she just didn’t have the energy for it. Not after the fight with Jace.

“This is the mountain range.” Motioning her over, Gabriel pointed. “The angels tell me he’s somewhere in here.” With a calloused finger, he traced along a section midway up the largest peak. “I can sense the tunnels throughout, but as to their extent, I do not know.”

“If what my mother said is truly important, he’ll be somewhere in the open, right? Somewhere you can easily see the sky?” Demitria spoke softly. “If the blood moon is when he’ll be strongest, it’ll be essential for him to have that.” Her eyes wandered over the paper, committing as much to memory as she could. It bothered her, knowing this…prophecy. A knowledge that felt so foreign to her. The others. Snippets. Secrets that she should not know from memories long since faded.

“There are several paths leading up to where we believe he is. Some easier than others.” The angel shrugged, tucking a strand of golden hair behind his ear as he leaned forward.

“What’s the catch?” Gabriel asked.

“They’re in plain sight.” Arakiel answered. “I sent my scouts weeks ago.” His hand grazed over the map, pointing with a steady finger as he spoke. “You’re right about him needing an area in the open. There is an outcropping here, which will give him a perfect view of the moon at night. Several entrances around, but all in the open. Except for one.” His eyes meet her own. “It isn’t safe for humans. We could fly in, but the climb is dangerous to… others.”

“So, we have no choice but to waltz right in?” Kane slammed a fist down on the table, and she swore it splintered under his blow. “We’d be walking into a trap!”

“We can go this route, but it will have its consequences.” Theliel had been quiet for almost the entire time she’d known him, which hadn’t really been all that long, only learning his name once they were riding out from the canyon, and she’d rarely heard him speak more than a few words. And only when the need arose. “Lives will be lost before the battle even begins. The humans will not survive.”

“So we have some casualties. This is war!” Eire droned. “Lives will be lost no matter what. It is one of the many consequences. We have the element of surprise, here. It shouldn’t even be a question which path we take.”

“Eire is right.” Kane refused to meet his brother’s piercing eyes, keeping them fixed to the map on the surface before him. “It’s secluded. Lucifer wouldn’t know we were coming. We have no idea how many we’re even dealing with. Surprise is something we need.” He knew better than to look up. Demitria was sure he could feel the burn of Kellan’s stare as he sided with their sister.

“Surprise is everything! There is no debating that. We take the secluded path!” Eire bellowed. The angels watched the exchange silently. Neither of them choosing a side.

“I will not subject my people to that journey when it could put their lives even more at risk.” Demitria broke, daring a look toward her friends leaning against the wall at the back. Jace may have said some things to hurt her, but she was bigger than that. She couldn’t even entertain the thought of asking him to make that climb. “They have given me more than I deserve. Following me blindly into this war. I refuse to ask this of them. We won't be taking that path. I will proudly march into the open, alone, knowing that I could keep my own safer.”

“You are nothing to me. You hold no leadership, no command over my siblings, nor I.” Eire’s gray eyes grew cold as she looked down at her. “You have no say in this matter.”

“You’re stepping out of line.” Kellan stood before his sister, his large frame towering over her. “Watch your tongue.” An all too familiar growl rumbled through his chest. One Demitria had grown accustomed to after he’d fought on her behalf time and time again. One that may have incited something within her that sure as hell should not have, especially right now.

“I’ve heard just about enough out of both of you.” Gabriel gripped the bridge of his nose in frustration. “We must listen to both sides before coming to a decision.” The exasperated sigh left his lips as he sat himself down in the wooden chair, elbow resting against the table's surface as his other hand clenched into a tight fist at his side.

“The world has seen many losses since the start of this war.” She knew her words meant nothing to some, but for her friends, her people, they were everything. Their very lives hung in the balance. “Species have gone extinct. I know a few human lives don't seem like much in the bigger picture, but to us—to me, they are everything. These people are my family. My home, and I will not ask them to make that trek. They risk enough fighting with us. If this is the path you choose, you walk it alone. We will find our own way in. With or without you.” Demitria knew all eyes were on her. Could feel them burning into her skin. “I won't back down from this challenge. I will fight until my last breath to save this planet, but I will not follow you if it means putting them in more danger than necessary. I will walk alone.”

“It’s decided then.” The ever-knowing grin returned to Arakiel’s face as he looked on with those liquid gold eyes. “We will take the safest route, meeting them head on.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” The chair toppled over as Kane jumped to his feet, fists slamming the table again in his rage. This time, she visibly watched it splinter beneath his fingers as the audible crack echoed throughout the room.

“You are at your strongest when you work together.” Arakiel looked around the room. She couldn’t explain how, but every time the angel spoke it brought a sense of calm over her entire body. “Alone, you will falter. Together, you are everything. ” Golden eyes met Demitria’s. A gaze that held so much knowledge, so much power that she nearly shied away. But she didn’t break from the stare, hypnotized by its intensity.

“She’s going to get us all killed!” Eire shouted her displeasure, but no one gave in.

“What do you suggest as a strategy?” Gabriel asked, analyzing the room as he did so.

“The blood moon approaches in one week. Lucifer must be stopped before then. We have little time to prepare. We will provide air support and cover to those on the ground. I suggest you four lead the charge with her .” He turned his gaze back to her, and all she could do is nod. “We will not have the element of surprise, but we have sheer force. Lucifer will be waiting in the open. Do not take him on alone. We ride out in the morning.” Heart already hammering in her chest, it nearly stopped at the angel's proclamation. Having known they would be leaving soon shouldn’t have surprised her. But morning? She thought they’d have at least a bit more time than that.

“And what of your plan for us once we reach the summit?” Jace casually asked from the back of the room. He’d been silent, leaning against a wooden bookcase as he and Cory listened. “We don’t have the…abilities that the others do. What is our plan?”

There had been no set plan that Demitria was aware of. Neither of them knew what to expect up there, or what they’d be walking into. There was no enemy count. No assessing the situation before storming in. They were going in blind. The only thing any of them knew was Lucifer had to die at whatever cost. That was the plan .

“We kill Lucifer however we can.” Gabriel’s voice had quieted, and Demitria could feel the apprehension in it. He was nervous. Something she hadn’t ever seen on him. The Horseman of Death was scared, and that terrified her. She didn’t know about the fallen angel. About the history between he and Kellan. She’d ask if either of them made it out alive.

At the table, Arakiel went into conversation about the path they would take. Which direction to follow, and which turns to avoid. He mapped out the safest route, reciting each landmark until it had been drilled into their minds. By the end of it, Demitria knew the way like the back of her hand. She could close her eyes and almost picture it. The winding, rocky path up the mountain. The sheer cliff surface she’d have to climb in order to reach the next landmark. It scared her to no end that this was the safest route possible. Voicing her concern now, after gaining the support of those in the room, would be stupid and unwanted, so she kept it to herself.

“So, everything has been decided then?” Kane asked. His face had permanently hardened. Unhappy with the outcome. He was on his feet as he addressed the group. “This meeting is over.” He walked out of the room, and didn’t stop until he reached the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

The chairs scraped along the floor as the others followed suit, filing out of the space after him. Each going their respective ways to live out what could very well be their final night.

Demitria was nearly the last to leave. She’d hoped to have a word with Jace and Cory before the morning, but the two had fled the instant Kane ended the meeting. Hunting them down was always an option, but giving Jace the night to cool down would maybe be for the best. Besides, no one had really come up with a concrete plan for tomorrow. There wasn’t anything to talk about.

“Would you care to take a walk?” Kellan called to her halfway down the hall. His hand light on her arm. Stopping, her eyes met his, the tug of a smile edging along her lips as that familiar pull ignited within her. “Unless you have other plans…”

“None at all.” She couldn’t hide the smile any longer, the toothy grin taking over. “Come on.”

The house was silenced by the oncoming battle. The stakes were high. Not a soul wanted to lose this war. It wasn’t an option, but failure was something that floated through even the strongest of minds. Gnawing its way through any tendril of hope that remained.

More silence filled the night air as they emerged from the house, aside from the low coo of an animal hiding in the distance. Someone had placed a few lanterns around the massive house, the soft glow illuminating the overgrown path as the embers burned. It was peaceful, in a way. Fitting for what could potentially be their last night. One last moment to enjoy the small beauty of their world, and the warm breeze that blew through the yard.

They wandered the property for an hour. She should have been nervous being so out in the open, but with him she felt nearly invincible. Like nothing could touch her out here. They walked, following along the fence line until they reached the large building at the back of the property. The one Demitria had spotted from her room. It must have been a greenhouse before the war, she realized. Glass walls from floor to ceiling. She couldn’t see inside. Whatever they had been growing had taken off. Grown out of control. The glass cracked and broken in spots where trees had blown through the roof. So much life her heart hammered in her chest at the sight of it. Ten years, and she hadn’t seen even close to this much green . She motioned for him to follow before breaking her way inside.

They shoved through the foliage. Ducking under branches as they climbed through the broken doorway, and emerged into a treed oasis. The building inside was even warmer, despite the broken glass that let in the outside air. With a grin, she took his hand, pulling him further to explore. Kellan didn’t hesitate.

Pushing through another set of heavy greenery, they emerged into an area with a floor made of river stone, and her breath caught in her throat. She never thought she’d see anything like it again in her lifetime. Slipping her hand from his, she sat along the edge of the water.

Hidden oasis indeed .

Whoever had owned this estate before the war had turned their greenhouse into a hidden, now overgrown, pool. The water, to her surprise, was nearly clear. And if she remembered correctly, it was partly due to the water lilies floating around among the other plants thriving. It was breathtaking. Mesmerizing, and it called to her. A familiar feeling of a past memory. A past life.

She shook her long hair free from its braid as Kellan took a seat beside her. Happy for the other’s company. Neither one of them wanted to be alone tonight.

“So, tell me. What is it like? You must have seen so many places. Witnessed so many battles, and just…” Demitria’s voice carried off. She wanted to know so much. Whatever Kellan was willing to tell her, she was interested in it all. He’d been to other worlds, and met so many kinds of beings. The sheer thought of what else could potentially be out there intrigued her to no end. His home. Eden. She wanted to know it all.

Kellan shook his head and smiled as he leaned back, softly laying back along the cool stones as he turned to focus on the night sky through the broken panes above, stars shining as they illuminated the greenhouse. “It’s different from here, but not as interesting. I’ve seen bloodshed. Done so many things I’m not proud of…” Kellan let his own voice trail off into nothing as a haunted looked took hold of his features.

“With him ?” She didn’t dare say his name. Not when Kellan looked so vulnerable. So wounded at the things he’d done. He just nodded. “I don’t want to push you if you can’t talk about it. About what happened?—”

Kellan stayed silent, as if reluctant to speak his truth. Rolling over to his side, he faced her. She was still sitting straight up, watching him with the softest expression.

“For thousands of years I was under his control. Unable to make my own decisions. I was a monster. A murderer.” He sighed, but continued. “I was his prized warrior. The general of his army. His right hand. I killed for sport. Killed because I liked the way it felt to hold someone’s life in my hands, and be the one to end it. Seeing the panic and pain in their eyes as they slowly died.” Kellan stared at his hands like he could still see them coated in the blood of the beings he’d slain. “He stole from me what little humanity I had left. Took every choice I had, and turned me into the monster that he wanted.”

“That wasn’t you.” She whispered, reaching over and resting a soft hand atop his own. “The things you did. The beings he made you hurt. It wasn’t you.”

“How can you say that when you weren’t even there.” Kellan moved to pull from her hand, but stopped himself. Yet still, that look haunted him. Haunted her, as the Horseman before her seemed so vulnerable. So wounded, like he might break. “Every life lost at my own hands was my fault.”

Demitria moved before he could register it, the weight of her body shifted down on him as she sat in his lap. With soft hands, she cupped his face, holding him as she stared into his eyes like no one else in the world existed. “I don’t blame you. For any of it. For the things you did when you had no control over yourself. Right here and now, showing me this side, I know that it wasn’t you.”

Finally, Kellan let the smile creep along his face, azure eyes brightening as she leaned in closer, her breath ghosting across his face.

She smiled at him, and then she was gone, leaving him blinking up in the spot she’d just been.

Demitria stood at the edge of the water. “Would it be bad if I wanted to just jump in?” Her gaze slowly fell to his. To the puzzled expression that adorned his features. She couldn’t help but chuckle. How easily her mind had wandered. But she was shaking. Trembling. Her body begging her to go back to him. To that touch.

“… what?”

“Swimming. I haven’t since I was a kid. I know we technically shouldn’t, but I—” She couldn’t help her voice trailing off as her gaze returned to the shimmering water once more. She wanted him. Wanted him so badly she couldn’t think straight.

“If it would make you happy, then I won't stop you.” Kellan righted himself, a soft smile tugging along the corners of his mouth.

“Really?”

“Really.” He nodded.

“Come with me.” She met his stare. Eyes pleading.

“You didn’t even need to ask.” Motioning for him to turn around, he obliged. She was quick to strip down to nothing more than her bra and underwear before sprinting the remaining distance to the water. It was cold. Freezing. The icy water tingled her entire body. Voicing her displeasure as a string of curses left her mouth, she turned on her heels to flee before colliding with Kellan.

“Oh.” She squeaked, letting her hand slowly drop into the water from where she’d caught herself on his chest. Neither of them moved.

Demitria was frozen in her tracks. Unable to move even a finger as he stared down at her for what seemed like hours. The slow shiver that ran through her body was the first indication that she’d regained movement. Beneath the surface, his fingers lightly brushed against her own before latching together, and he took another step into her.

He kissed her. Soft. Gentle at first, before it turned hurried. Frantic as the hunger for the other became almost unbearable.

Demitria didn’t dare pull apart as he lifted her from the water, setting her body down along the edge so only her feet dangled within. Kellan stepped between her, hands unable to leave even an inch of her untouched. His thumb roved in tantalizing circles along her inner thigh, coaxing a soft moan from her lips. She’d beg for it. Beg for him if she had to. At the noise, Kellan dipped his head to her. Into her neck where his teeth grazed ever so softly down. Down until he reached the area before her collarbone and nipped. The whimper left her before she could hold it back, and could feel the smirk on his lips as they traveled across her exposed skin. Kellan’s hands continued to trail up, teasing as he went. Resuming those lazy circles as he neared the hem of what little clothing remained.

This should have been the last thing on her mind. They were getting ready for war, and she needed to prepare herself. But there was something about the Horseman that had drawn her in from the moment they’d met that she couldn’t even fathom the thought of breaking from his grip. Like her body had been waiting solely on him. Waiting for this exact moment, and maybe, this was precisely what she needed.

A stroke of his hand had her forgetting every thought of what was waiting for them tomorrow. Pulling her back into the present, into him, as large calloused hands pulled her forward. Leaving her on the cusp of plunging into the chilling water, but he held her there. Held her steady as his lips found hers once more. She didn’t know where to touch him. Couldn’t decide where to for that matter, so she slid her arms around his neck

His hand ran down the length of her spine and she arched into his touch. Kellan took it as an open invitation and tore his mouth away from hers as he unclasped her bra before discarding it beside them. Demitria had almost been ready to pull him back when he trailed down her neck. Agonizingly slow with his tongue. Further down still. Across her chest before hovering over her breast. The warmth from his ragged breathing sent her entire body trembling beneath him as that heat pooled within her.

“Tell me to stop.”

“Gods no.” She begged. Pleaded. And he was kissing her. Taking her into his mouth as his teeth grazed across her nipple. Another moan left her lips, and she didn’t care who heard. Because nothing had ever felt this damned good. She slid her free hand down his front. Down the hard length of him that strained against the minimal clothing between them. Ready to burst free. She wanted him. Wanted him so bad it hurt. Kellan let out a guttural moan against her touch, and she was pulling his face back up to hers once more. Needing to feel him. To taste him.

She lost all control as his fingers bit into her hip. Dipping down before settling over the sensitive bud between her thighs. He pressed into her, his thumb working deep circles through the fabric as another breathy moan escaped her. She was falling apart in his hands. Coming completely undone, and she loved it. Loved every torturous sweep of those fingers as he stroked her.

“Kellan.” She was begging, and she didn’t care. Could feel him smiling against her neck as he stopped his movement. Near laughing at the growl it elicited from her to continue. Demitria ground herself into his hand as he toyed with the waistline of the fabric. He didn’t need to be told twice, and his fingers found her core. Teasing at first. Toying with her. She drove her hips into him again, and he obliged, sliding a finger deep into her awaiting warmth. Curling inside her. She nearly screamed. Her body rocking against his hand as he inserted another finger. Slow at first, sliding in and out of her at an excruciating pace. And when he quickened, pumping into her, she saw stars.

She was close. So close to that sweet release that would leave her breathless against him. She whimpered. Moaned again and again as his fingers drove into her over and over and over. He kissed her neck. Bit again into that sensitive spot before her collarbone and she exploded around him. Body trembling at the wild release that consumed her, and he rode her through it. Held her as she slowly came down from the peak of her high. And then he was kissing her again. Soft. Sweet. But she still ached for him. Wanted nothing more than to feel the solid length of him embedded deep within her.

To hell with the rules and the fucking high council. She wanted to feel every gods damned inch of him, and didn’t care who she pissed off in the process, not when she’d endured so much. Fought so hard to be here, in this moment, with him. When denying that pull had been unbearable. She’d given in, and so had he. Holy gods, did they ever, and she wouldn’t change a single moment of it. Wouldn’t trade this feeling for the world. Because she deserved it more than anything. She saw that now. Because through all the bloodshed. Through all the pain, she was allowed to be happy. She was allowed to hope .

Demitria didn’t know when they’d left the greenhouse. When their clothes had been picked up only to be strewn about the floor of the room she had been staying in for the night. The euphoric high had been so great that it had all passed in a blur of motion. A messy movement of rushed kisses and dancing fingers along warmed skin that gleamed under the moonlight in a sheen of sweat.

It wasn’t until she’d been backed into the wall of the room that she’d been able to come to. As Kellan claimed her mouth with his own. She ran her hands up his bare chest, feeling the rough scars beneath her fingertips. A story lay behind each one, she was sure. Stories she’d hope to hear at some point, if he was willing to share. After the battle, she’d ask. Demitria wanted to be fully present for whatever awaited her tonight. No lingering thoughts but the feel of him moving inside her. His hands everywhere on her. That was all she wanted.

Kellan lifted her with ease, holding her slim body in his arms, and she felt every glorious inch of him pressing up against her. Her hand tangled itself within his dark hair as she fervently kissed up his throat. His chin, and then to his lips. Nipping at them with enough pressure to sting, but not hurt. To portray the need she felt so deep within her. He answered by leveling her on the bed. Hovering over her like he was a predator ready to devour her whole. She’d let him. Gods, she’d let him do whatever the hell he wanted to her.

Demitria could feel the pressure of him at her core, yet he moved at an intolerably slow pace. Waiting. Questioning if she’d back out now. She could see it in his eyes as he restrained himself before her. She needed him. Needed to feel every inch of him, stretching her as he pounded into her over and over again. Wanted him to fuck her so hard she’d forget her own name. Digging her nails into his back, she pulled him into her. Pulled him in until he was fully seated in her, and she kissed him. Held his face, her forehead pressed to his own as he pulled out slowly. Out until only the tip remained and he plunged into her again. Faster this time, in one smooth movement. Stretching her to the brim. Filling her with every inch of him, deeper than the last, and she pulled his mouth back down to hers. Craving the taste of him. The only thing she could do as the pleasure soared through her.

He thrust into her with a new fervor, and she lifted her hips to meet his. Arching against him as that unyielding need built within her again. She clenched around him with each stroke, every time he buried himself deep within her. Kellan growled at the sensation of her tightening around him. Groaning at the wicked grin that laced her lips.

“You should have tried harder to kill me in that cave.” His body shuddered, voice husky as he sheathed himself inside her again. Harder. Faster than before. Each thrust grinding her into the bed. “Left me for dead.”

“Not a chance.” Breathless, she barely managed the words. Could hardly think straight as the feel of him took over her senses, and nothing existed except the way he was moving inside her. She was on the verge of that threshold again. That wild power building up, up, up until it was ready to explode. Kellan kissed her, muffling her cries as she came undone around him, more intense than the last. Her entire body unraveling as he kept his pace, never breaking rhythm until his own release found him moments later.

Panting, their eyes never broke. It wasn’t until Demitria had moved to cup his face that he lowered himself, still housed within her. She kissed him again, nuzzling into his neck as his arms wrapped around her. Like he could shield her from the world.

Nothing mattered but the feel of his body against hers. The war going on around them, the battle they’d meet tomorrow, nothing. She’d stay in this room with him until her last dying breath if she had the chance.

Her only regret was fighting the pull between them for so long.

.