Chapter 41
Forty-One
DEMITRIA
T he warmth emanating around her body was enough to keep her in bed until the end of time. There wasn’t a thing in the world that could make her get up at that moment. Resting firmly in his grasp, the smooth skin of his chest warming her to her core was all the more reason to stay in bed. Lying here beside him, after everything that had happened leading up to this point, this was the moment she had been waiting for. What the both of them had been waiting for. Like they’d been attached together on a string, their very beings pulled toward one another as it slowly wound and wound around them.
“Are you awake?” Her voice soft, cutting through the silence as she whispered. His arms wrapped tighter around her and she couldn’t help the smile that crept its way across her lips.
“I’m awake.” Kellan’s voice was just as gentle, and Demitria could feel him nod his head as he nestled it into her neck. His lips caressing along her throat as he trailed gentle kisses across it. That burning igniting within her, body craving the feel of him once more. After last night she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to have anyone else again.
“I don’t know if I’m ready… to go today.” It had been on her mind for hours that morning as she lay there, unmoving while Kellan slept soundlessly beside her. Listening to the soft breaths pass through his lips as his chest rose and fell. The reality of their situation sunk in. It could very well be the only chance she ever got with him. The only moment she was able to truly wake in his arms. She needed more time with the Horseman, and was cursing herself all morning for pushing her feelings aside for so long. Because the thought of losing him made the bile in her stomach rise, and she nearly fell ill.
It wasn’t fair. But nothing in this life had been fair, either. She knew that, better than most. The argument in her mind had fallen silent just as quickly as it had arisen.
“Don’t go,” Kellan whispered. “Stay here, where you’ll be safe. Stay in this room, and don’t leave until I return.” He pulled away to gaze at her, and the look in his eyes had her weak, her body coming apart at the seams. “Stay in this house, and away from this battle. This war isn’t yours to get caught up in, and I can’t—I can’t lose you.” She felt it, deep within her chest. That incessant ache as he pleaded with her.
“This is my people… I have to protect my people. My world. I may not feel ready, but I can’t abandon them.” Demitria closed her eyes, shutting out the thought of something happening to them. To all of them.
“I admire you. For everything you’ve done, and continue to do.” His lips grazed lightly across her, ghosting over her collarbone as the shiver coursed through her. “You’re stronger than any being I’ve ever known, but your bravery scares me.” Kellan closed his eyes, letting out a trembled breath at the thought. “I can’t lose you. Not when I’ve only just had you.” He trailed his fingers slowly up her arms and down her sides where he finally rested them on her hip. The caress sent sparks shooting throughout her body, skin on fire everywhere he touched.
“I don’t want to talk about today.” Voice still quiet, Demitria tangled a hand in his hair, pulling him closer to her. “I want to live in this moment. With you.” She kissed him. All those heated exchanges, the frantic moments when either of them would cave into the other, it was nothing compared to this. Didn’t even come close to what she’d had last night. Now that she’d experienced what it had been like to really have him, to hold him in her arms. To kiss him without having to hide it from the world, she didn’t want to let that go. Not now, not ever.
“We could both just stay here.” He inquired, teeth nipping softly at her bottom lip. “Hide away and find our own little community where no one knew who we were. Abandon all responsibility.”
Demitria couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her mouth. She wanted to tell him that she wanted nothing more in this world than to run away with him. To live a life without fear or death.
To be free .
“Kellan…”
“I know… wishful thinking.” He grinned, propping his large frame up on his elbows as he looked down at her beneath him.
Demitria lay there, bare, for only his eyes to see. His azure eyes intoxicating as he stared at her, drinking her in. Like he was looking into her soul, his own exposed wide open for her in mutual understanding. As if they were two halves of a whole, and like called to like.
“The sun has already risen; we should be moving soon.” Leaving was inevitable. No matter how badly either of them wanted to stay behind, they’d be found soon enough. There wasn’t a place on this earth where they could hide away from it all. From Kellan’s siblings… the council. They’d all find them eventually.
“I know.” Her long sigh could rival his own. With an embrace that neither of them wanted to back away from, they slowly removed themselves from the bed. Demitria hesitated before pulling the thick, form fitted black pants up her body, fastening the button at her waist. Glancing behind her, she stared at Kellan who hadn’t moved a single muscle to get himself dressed. “They might wonder why you’re fighting naked.” She winked. Snapping him from his daze, he grinned sheepishly at her, closing the distance between them in two long strides.
“Who said anything about fighting?” Laughing, his arm snagged around her body, nearly pulling her off her feet at his quick movements. “I’m stalling, and it’s painfully obvious, isn’t it?”
“Very much so.” He kissed her softly before settling her feet back firm on the ground and reluctantly pulling his own pants up. Demitria let her fingers graze gently along his chest before pulling the dark, long-sleeved shirt over his head. She fastened the leather armor across it, slowly buckling the worn straps together. Kellan helped her fasten the sturdy leather bracers to her wrist. One of the only pieces of armor she had, and he whispered a curse at the realization. He took it upon himself to strap the sword around her curved figure, letting his fingers softly run along the waistband over her hips. The sigh was heavy on his lips as his azure eyes slowly made their way up toward her as he reluctantly took a step back.
The two stood at the door, unable to move. Outside their small group was waiting for them, and in less than an hour they’d be marching up the mountain to face gods knows what. No one really knew what they’d find, and even Kellan had told her he couldn’t discern if it was a trap or not.
“Once we go out this door…” His hand wavered as he gripped the doorknob.
“We will fight and we will win.” Demitria’s fingers dug into his arm as she gripped him tight. “We will return together.” She could feel it brimming in her eyes, the tears that threatened to pour. Feeling so vulnerable in that moment, but she didn’t care. Not anymore. “We will come back here. I don’t care what they think. You and I—” Kellan didn’t let her finish the sentence. He engulfed her entire body in his arms, pressing himself firmly against her as he kissed her like his life depended on it. It felt like time itself had stood still, and when he pulled away, she thought her heart might explode from her chest. He'd made her feel so many things. So many different emotions…
“They’re waiting.” With a sigh, Kellan stepped back. Hand slowly turning the knob and opening the door to the hallway beyond.
The house was quiet. The others who wouldn’t be joining them most likely still sound asleep in whatever bed they had chosen. Blissfully unaware of the turmoil her and the Horseman endured as they took what could be their last steps through the hallway. Awaiting their return with news of their victory.
The cool air nipped at Demitria’s face as they slowly made their way to the large stoned area that had once been a driveway. Their arms brushed as they continued. Neither one hiding the newfound closeness between them. Kellan lightly grazed his fingers across her own. They’d been balled into fists, but at his touch she relaxed them.
They had been the last to arrive, and all eyes turned toward the Horseman, and the human girl that arrived together. Kellan made a point to stand as close as he could get to her.
“You disgust me.” The venom dripped from the female’s mouth. The disbelief was wild in her eyes. Eire had her bow drawn and aimed straight at Demitria. The tip of the arrow resting on her chin as the rage consumed her.
Demitria didn’t flinch. She knew his siblings would be more than aware of the difference between her and their brother, and had accepted it last night. They both had accepted their fate when they had finally given in to the pull that continuously drew them together time and time again.
“You do not have any say in this.” Kellan spoke, eyes never leaving his siblings. The challenge clear.
“She’s human !” Eire spat. “What has she done to you.” Eire’s lip quivered for a moment, and then it was gone. Any emotion drained from her face. The arrow was replaced in her quiver before Demitria could even blink, and the female was stalking away. Down the stone covered road and headed toward the gate where her dappled gray mare waited.
Demitria knew he was staring at her but she couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. She could feel his gaze burning into her, eating away at her very being, but she wouldn’t look. Jace had never liked the Horseman. He had made that perfectly clear to her when they’d fought. He’d tolerated them, but deep down she knew his true feelings. Now everything was different. They were different. There was no coming back from last night, and she knew that. She was okay with it, in fact. But Jace would never let that go. Not after everything they’d been through together.
“I don’t regret anything.” The whisper left her lips, hand softly grazing across his forearm in reassurance.
“Neither do I.” She knew his gesture would not be received lightly by those around them, but he didn’t seem to care as he brushed his thumb across her lips. She watched the war on his face as he forced himself to back away before the exchange turned intimate. Eire had been his only sibling to cause a scene, thank the gods.
“Is everyone ready?” The eldest Horseman left his post beside Arakiel and slowly walked toward them. The look in his eyes said everything. Disappointment. Both of them knew what they’d done was against every rule the council had ever set, but neither of them cared about the repercussions. But while there was disappointment, she also saw understanding.
Arakiel made his way toward them. “We must complete the last of our preparations before we are to continue.” The soft waves of the early morning sun glittered like starlight along those perfect dark wings that he held so proudly. Not a single feather out of place. It was hard to imagine that they’d soon be tainted and covered in blood. “Your Smith has been working through the night on some things.” He motioned for the remaining Horsemen to follow him as he disappeared behind the large house. Kellan shot her a longing glance before he finally followed behind.
Demitria knew she had to talk to him. They were about to start the grueling journey up the mountain together, but she couldn’t leave things the way they were between them. Her breath came out in a huff as she finally turned toward them. Sad, green eyes were watching her, gaze never faltering as she closed the distance between them.
“I’m glad you both are here.” She started, slowly finding her voice. “I don’t think I could do it without you by my side.” Not once did she pull her stare from him. She needed him to know that despite everything, she still needed him by her side.
“I’m going to give you guys a minute.” Cory broke, patting Jace along the back. “I know you have things you both need to talk about.” Without a second thought, the copper haired man made his way toward the remaining angels down the driveway.
She was thankful for him, always. Cory could read the room effortlessly, and knew exactly when someone needed space.
“I’m scared.” The words had been hard, and Demitria couldn’t look at Jace as she said it. Having worked so tirelessly to always keep her emotions in check, admitting when she was afraid wasn’t something that came naturally or easy. “I’m terrified to fight, Jace.” He didn’t say anything to her, but wrapped her in his arms instead.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered softly, squeezing his arms around her even tighter. “I have no right to judge you on the things you do, or the people you choose to have in your life.” She knew the tears were flowing down her face. Could feel them soaking through Jace’s shirt as she clung to him. “I know nothing I say will change your mind, but please stay back. Lock yourself away somewhere and let us fight.”
“You know I can’t do that.” Finally, she released her hold. “I need to fight alongside them. I need to fight with you and Cory. This is my fight, more than it is yours.” Because in truth, the fight had nothing to do with them. They all seemed to want her . The council, Lucifer—they’d only gone after Solis to get to her . Jace nodded his head, understanding everything she had said. She could see it in his eyes, that heaviness. The fear, in having her fight. But above all else, she knew he understood her reasons for pushing forward.
“The time is now.” Arakiel raised his arm, waving the others over toward the group that had assembled around him after returning. With a curt nod, the two made their way to him.
“I suppose everyone is ready?” Gabriel asked, walking toward them. Demitria watched as Kellan tucked what looked to be daggers into his armor. He couldn’t help but smile as he caught her gaze.
“Your Smith has been working on these for you.” She took the cloth bound item from him and unraveled it quickly, revealing two shining new daggers similar in size and shape to her previous blades. “It looks like someone had attempted their own little haven here, and he found an abandoned forge in the back shed.”
Demitria had been so caught up in him last night, that she hadn’t even cared to find out what her own people were up to. And Evan had worked tirelessly through the night to arm them?
She wouldn’t let herself feel guilty for last night. Everyone had chosen to spend what could be their final evening doing whatever they liked, and that was fine. She’d wanted—needed to spend it with Kellan. Exploring him, like her body had been begging her to for days on end.
“I’ll have to thank him when we return.” The daggers effortlessly tucked into her attire. One in the top of her left boot, the second in her right bracer, and the third strapped onto her back between her shoulder blades. Demitria’s eyes made their way around the others before her. Watching as some fiddled with weapons or armor, others, like Eire, stood waiting at the gate. She hadn’t moved from her position, but her mount was gone.
The wind blew softly as they left the confines of the estate. Demitria tucked a few strands of hair that had flown out of her braid behind her ears as she turned, giving one last look back before moving on. She had so many thoughts. So many emotions swirling through her mind as they began the ascent. What if this really was a trap? Could they survive? They had such low numbers to begin with, would they be able to make it out alive?
In answer, a sharp whinny echoed throughout the land before them. A promise. A call from the creature that had been her rock time and time again. An oath that they would see each other again. That she would return, and they would reunite once more. She smiled, nodding at the bond shared between them.
“We will return.” His soft voice pulled her from her thoughts, sending a new wave of calm over her body. She regretted fighting against the pull for so long as that nagging feeling bubbled to the surface once more, wishing they’d just had more time .
So she made a promise to herself. To fight and to win, against whatever odds were against them. To reunite with Atlas. To return to this estate, and return home with Kellan.