Chapter 38 Amarhuk （Rook）
AMARHUK (ROOK)
Sleep eluded me.
I still couldn’t believe what I’d told Izzy, even if I hadn’t said it out loud.
So… perfect, so beautiful…
And I’d meant it too. Usually those were just words I said to get a woman in bed, but not with Izzy.
She was fucking perfect: her body, the fire in her spirit, the softness of her soul, everything!
Beautiful inside and out. But that shouldn’t have mattered to me, not if I was just in this for the sex.
You alone are a sinful delight, of which I can’t get enough, but the two of you together are a fucking drug and I’m hooked. Sorry Izzy, but this is going to have to be a regular thing, or I think I might die.
Had I really admitted that to her?
And the fact that I’d accidentally established a mental link had me questioning how much I was really in control of myself. Admittedly it was a new power and one I didn’t use often, so I wasn’t as adept with it, but still…
I kept telling myself my words had been said in the heat of the moment and that she’d take them as such… but had they been, truly?
Because a part of me was hooked. The lust she and Myel gave off was sinfully pure.
It beckoned me even now, in my memory. It had its talons in me and the more I remembered it the deeper those claws sunk.
I needed another hit, another fix… and since it was just sex, I kept thinking I could allow myself that much…
But the trouble was… it wasn’t just sex anymore and I knew it.
I wanted all of Izzy, not just her body.
After our one-night stand — I guess I couldn’t call it that anymore — I’d convinced myself that my craving for her was purely sexual, since I hadn’t penetrated her and desperately wanted to.
But… that’s just it. As an incubus, I shouldn’t have cared.
I’d gorged myself on her lust that night and that should have been enough.
But it wasn’t.
It wasn’t just her pussy I wanted, but all of her.
And living next to her these past few days, I’d gotten to know her, and I’d liked it just a little too much.
Blazes! Her irreverence, and the incongruity of her filthy mouth combined with her modesty.
Her physical form constantly calling to me, when I should have been able to resist such a pull.
Her keen intellect and how fast she’d picked up things from this world.
Hell, I even felt bad that she’d been bonded to a shifter, knowing how much of a challenge that must have been for her and him, when I shouldn’t have cared!
But care I did.
And that was dangerous territory.
Caring was a little too close to that evil four-letter L-word.
I needed to pull back, rein myself in. The trouble was… I didn’t think I could do that if I kept close to her. I couldn’t think straight when she was around. I lost my mind as soon as I had her in my arms, moaning, keening for more. I’d give it to her every time.
Which meant, I needed to physically distance myself from her.
It would be hell, pure torture, given how amazing it felt to lie close to her now and how much I wanted a repeat of last night, but I’d have to.
Izzy was a drug to me, and that was dangerous. I couldn’t get attached. I couldn’t let myself… love… her or anyone.
Not if I wanted to keep living a healthy, happy, carefree life. All love did was destroy. It turned people cold when it eventually was taken from them. And given this world we lived in, there was no doubt in my mind it would be taken.
Nothing good could last.
That meant I had to move out. I’d let Izzy have my room and I’d go elsewhere. I swore I would.
And with that determination, I finally fell into a fitful sleep.
Yet when I woke, with Izzy’s amazing body in my arms, her warmth nestled perfectly against me, my resolve failed me.
“Stay with me, like this, forever,” she whispered, half awake.
“I will,” I said. Cursing myself for it.
This was the problem. When I was close to her, I’d do anything for her.
Fuck me… I was so damned screwed… and not in a good way.