Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
PHOENIX
Knock-knock.
The sound comes from somewhere far away. I roll over onto another side and tuck my palms under my cheek.
Knock-knock.
My eyes snap open. Through the thick curtains that cover my single window, I can’t see the light. I pull one curtain to the side and am blinded by the sunlight.
What’s the damn time?
Groaning, I roll out of bed and with naked feet, pad over to the door. When I open it, I find Daegel.
He looks me over and arches an eyebrow. “You’ve been sleeping? It’s almost noon, princess.”
I yawn and move away from the door so he can enter. “I got home late last night. Couldn’t fall asleep.”
Daegel enters the space that’s just as familiar to him as it is to me. I rub the sleep away from my eyes and stretch my fatigued limbs. I didn’t sleep well.
I frown when Daegel sets a clay tray on my tiny table that separates the kitchen and the living area of my small studio. He pulls away one chair and motions for me to sit. I do.
“What’s this?”
Daegel lifts a clay lid and the most delicious scent of roasted beef tickles my nose. I groan, my mouth salivating at the sight of the roasted meat with vegetables, still steaming.
“I had my personal chef make your favorite dish,” he says and takes a seat at the table. “You said you haven’t had roasted beef with veggies in years.”
The backs of my eyes burn. It’s true. It used to be a dish my mom made every month for Sunday family dinner.
A ball lodges in the middle of my throat. I try to swallow it, but it doesn’t budge. I meet Daegel’s gaze.
“I’m sorry, Phoenix,” he says. “I don’t want to fight with you.
Not about this. I’m sorry for being a dick about it yesterday.
I’ve been under a lot of pressure from my father, and the stress from having the leader of the Order and the country pass away so suddenly.
I should have talked with you about my decision to enter the trials.
I don’t want you to feel like I’m choosing someone else over you, because that’s not true. ”
I stare at him for a moment, mute.
He has no clue I signed up for the trials last night. Guilt weighs on my shoulders. I swallow.
“Phoenix? Say something?” When I don’t answer, Daegel adds, “You’re wrong when you say that I’m choosing my family over you, okay?
I’m not. You are the one I love, you are the one I want to plan my life with.
This, me entering the trials to become the next General, is for us.
I know you said you were considering it because it would help you avenge your family’s death.
But I also thought about it. Once I’m the General, I can ruin King Francis.
In fact, I don’t need to be a General to crush him.
Just say a word and I’ll deliver his head on the platter for you. ”
I shake my head, “Daegel—”
He’s out of his seat in a blink, rounding the table to kneel next to me. When he takes my hand into his, and brings it to his lips, my stomach sinks.
“Believe me, when I made this decision, I had you in mind, too. I had our future in mind,” he says, pleading. “I’m going to win Val’taz Ezkairin. And once I do, we’ll be the most powerful couple in the history of Ekios.”
“Daegel—”
I don’t get to finish the sentence because there’s another knock on the door. Who the fuck is that?
With a scoff, I slide my hand out of Daegel’s and go to open the door.
A tall Ezkai with a serious expression greets me with a nod. “Ezkai Lieutenant Phoenix Wildarrow?”
“Yes,” I say.
Daegel hovers behind me.
The Ezkai hands me a large black envelope with a gold wax seal, presses his fist above his heart, and with a dip of his chin, turns around to leave.
I close the door and stare at the envelope. There’s nothing on it to indicate what it is. But the wax seal has the symbol of the Ezkai General.
It’s my official invitation to participate in Val’taz Ezkairin.
When I look up, Daegel stands there shock-struck, staring at the envelope. He blinks. “Is that—” The words die on his lips. He swallows hard. Finally, his gaze flicks up to meet mine. “Phoenix…”
I don’t know what to say. He came here to apologize, with my favorite dish that he had his personal chef make. He had thought of us, of me and our future—
“It’s okay,” he finally says. I frown. “It’s not too late.”
“Not too late for what?”
He closes the space between us and places his hands on my shoulders. “For you to drop out. Just because you signed up doesn’t mean you have to go through with it.”
Slowly, the heavy chains of guilt are replaced by the bitter, coiling snakes of rage.
Shaking my head, I push his hands away. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”
“Phoenix,” Daegel tries to reason. “There’s no other way. Only one of us can enter the trials.”
Where’s this side of him coming from? It’s like he’s completely ignorant of everything I say and feel. He’s acting as if his way is the only fucking way. And I’m supposed to follow him blindly, no questions asked.
I scoff. “The fuck there is a way. I’m not dropping out. I don’t need your Caligos lapdogs delivering King Francis’s head to me on a platter. I don’t need you ruining him. I’m the only one who can collect the debt he owes me.”
When Daegel realizes that I’m not joking, and I’m not budging, his eyes darken.
“Phoenix, you don’t understand the seriousness of this situation,” he says, voice hard.
The man I love is gone, a cold soldier replacing him.
The change is so fast I get whiplash. “If you participate in the trials, you’ll be walking into the middle of a very dangerous game. I can’t protect you then.”
“You don’t think I can win?” I lift my chin. His words sting. “Nobody believed I could survive the fire. Nobody believed I could find my way from Wetra to Ekios. Nobody thought I would survive the Ezkai Academy and join the Order. But look at me fucking now. I will survive these damn trials.”
“It’s not about your ability to win, Phoenix. By entering the trials you’ll be standing in the way of Caligos,” he says. “That’s a totally different matter. They’ll crush you.”
“You’re Caligos,” I say, voice void of any emotions. “Are you saying you’ll get me killed for standing in your way?”
Daegel runs his hands through his hair, and closes his eyes.
He sighs. “What I’m saying is that Caligos have a plan.
I am their chosen champion. Families have united, for the first time in history, to stand behind me.
You don’t know everything that goes on behind the scenes.
I can protect you if you stand by my side, if you’re mine.
But if you are a threat…Phoenix…I don’t want to lose you. Please, don’t do this to us.”
Is he saying that Caligos are going to manipulate the trials? It’s worse than I thought.
“I have made a promise to avenge my family’s death. That’s why I’m here,” I say. “I will not back down just because I happened to fall in love when I didn’t plan for it. If you want to become the next Ezkai General, fine. I’ll see you during Val’taz Ezkairin.”
We glare at each other in silence. A muscle in his jaw ticks. Without saying another word, Daegel walks past me and slams the door as he leaves my apartment.