Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
VERA
I stare at the ceiling of my bedroom. The mattress is warm and soft under me. But it offers little comfort. Inside, I’m cold as the harshest Ekiosh winter in the northern mountains.
One day, Vera dearest, one day. We have nothing but time. And I have patience.
Tears burn my eyes. I close them to prevent any more from spilling. I’ve shed enough tears already.
I don’t have it in me anymore.
But the pain…It tears through my chest as if there’s a huge sword stuck in the place where my heart beats.
I don’t know how to make it stop. How to prevent it from making me crumble. I can’t afford that. Not right now.
I should have told Kitajo I loved him the last time I saw him. I should have screamed it from the rooftops so the whole of Ekios knows until I lost my voice.
He thought we had time. I was arrogant enough to believe him. How could I not? In my mind, he was invincible, the most loved, and feared, Ezkai General in history. The man who was unbreakable and untouchable.
Yet here we are…
I roll over onto my side and tuck my palms under my cheek. One lone tear rolls down my nose and sinks into the silk pillow.
“I love you, too,” I whisper into the nothingness.
It’s too late. He’s not here to hear those words.
A heart attack. I don’t care what the healers say. I don’t buy it.
I bite my lip to keep the sob that’s threatening to break out inside me. I can’t let anyone know how much losing Kitajo pains me. I must suffer in silence.
A knock on the door spikes my pulse.
“What?” I call, irritated. “I still have an hour before we have to prepare for the party.”
Nobody answers. The door creaks gently as it opens. I’m going to kill whoev—
Noire walks in and closes the door behind his back. He lingers by it. His long silk tunic pools around his feet, the edges of it blurring with the dark smokey shadows that are always at his feet. The wide sleeves reveal just a tiny peek of the heavy tattoos weaving around his wrists.
I can’t stand the softness in his gaze. The pity.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I say, harshly.
“I’m not, my dear.”
With a sigh, I plop back onto the bed and cover my face with one of the many pillows. “Why are you here, Noire? You’re interrupting my one hour of peace before I have to go and entertain your House Dzuni when it’s the last thing I want to do.”
Noire’s laugh is soft and gentle, just like his shadows. “I know, dearest. Unfortunately, the future of our country lies on our shoulders. It doesn’t care for our grief, nor does it care for our moods.”
I groan and toss the pillow aside. Noire settles on one of the pink love seats in the corner of my bedroom.
His black pupils blur at the edges, and his icy blue eyes swirl with tendrils of shadows.
There is also a shadow wrapped tightly around his neck, glimmering in the dim light as if it’s the night sky full of stars.
I toss my legs over the edge of the bed and cross my arms. Noire pulls out a file from under his tunic.
I cock an eyebrow. “How did you fit that inside a pocket?”
He winks at me. “Professional secret.”
A corner of my mouth twitches upwards.
Noire pats the armchair next to him. “Come on now, Vera dearest. We have a full list of Ezkai who signed up for Val’taz Ezkairin. It’s just as I predicted.”
I rise to my feet and pad over to where he sits. “How many of those Ezkai who signed up have affiliations with Caligos?”
“Half.”
I close my eyes and count my breaths. These damn corrupt Ezkai drive me crazy.
Noire opens the file and hands me a few pages that outline everything there is to know about two out of the thirteen contestants.
“My spies tell me Ezkai Major Daegel Talbot is their chosen champion. All ruling Caligos families united and are combining resources,” Noire says. He hands me Daegel’s resume. “The other five are insurance policies, just in case the Talbot heir fails. Which is unlikely, given his profile.”
“Do you think Caligos will interfere with the trials?”
Noire’s silent for a beat. Then he says, “I don’t know.”
“Noire, this is worse than we thought it would be,” I say.
My shoulders sag. Suddenly I’m so tired I need to get back to bed to lie down. But I remain seated by Noire’s side, going through the resumes as he hands them to me.
“Okay, how about Neyo Asterio?” I look up at Noire. “I know Kitajo trusted him. He’s a prominent Ezkai Major, many men love him. He’s a strong Decarios.”
Noire nods. “He’s lacking natural leadership skills, but I believe he could hone the skill. I agree with you. He’d be my number one choice, too, if not for her.”
He hands me the last resume. When I see the name, my eyebrows hike all the way to my hairline.
“She signed up?” I can’t believe it.
Noire smiles. “Whatever you told her resonated with her. She’s our chosen champion.”
I read Ezkai Phoenix’s resume thoroughly once again. Noire waits for me patiently. When I’m done, I hand the stack of papers back to him.
“I know Kitajo chose her as his mentee before he…passed away.” I choke the last words out. “She saved his life, and showed off immense skills during her training and in the last two months as an Ezkai…”
Noire quirks an eyebrow. “But?”
“She’s so young,” I say.
“So are you.”
I roll my eyes at him. Noire chuckles.
“She’s a human. The uproar it caused when she enrolled in the Ezkai Academy and then joined the Order was so dramatic,” I say. “House Dzuni will lose their minds if they have to obey a human Ezkai General.”
“House Dzuni will follow whoever ensures they have cushiony lives,” Noire says. “Once Phoenix is the General, we’ll ensure she understands that.”
“She’s feisty. You think you can control her?”
“It’s not about control, dearest. It’s about guiding her towards the right path.”
I arch an eyebrow. “And the blood oath? I’m not sure her head is in the right place.”
“No Ezkai is perfect. She may have a blood oath to claim; the others will have something else clouding their judgment. Once she’s introduced to the blessed trinity, and implements it, things will change.”
I doubt mastering the spirit, body and mind connection will be enough for her to forget the desire for vengeance, but I understand why Noire wants to support Phoenix Wildarrow.
Kitajo saw something in the girl, and he was rarely ever wrong about people.
Besides, she saved his life that one time. For that, I’ll be forever grateful.
“She’s in love with the enemy,” I say. “Are you sure she’s not involved with Caligos?”
Noire nods. “While she’s in a relationship with Ezkai Daegel, he keeps her out of the Caligos business.”
“I told her that she’d need to break up with him if she were to get our support.”
“Ultimatums are dangerous, Vera dear. You know that.”
I scoff. “I won’t help her if she’s sleeping with the enemy.”
Noire pats my knee reassuringly and rises to his feet. “Fair, Vera. If you think she can agree to your terms, I trust you. The Black Night is in two days. You may want to pay her a visit before that to seal the deal.”