Chapter 74
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
PHOENIX
I can barely sleep during the night. For hours on end, I toss and turn. My body is tired, but my mind is racing.
When I hear the first chirps of morning birds, and the first rays of sun paint the sky in deep reds and oranges, I groan and push myself out of the bed.
I roll my shoulders and do a couple of stretches on the floor of my bedroom. It helps calm my mind a bit. But not enough. So, I take a long bath. I pour every single essential oil, type of flower petal, and bottle of weird milky elixir I find in the vanity into the water.
While I lay in the warm bath, I struggle to breathe through all the aromatic oils and scents. So, ten minutes in, I get out of the damn water and get dressed.
I need to speak to Vera.
The Trial of Strength can happen any day now and I don’t want to go into the last trial with unresolved conflict. Focusing on solving our issues helps me not to think about Daegel and all that went down in the last forty-eight hours.
Quietly, I make my way downstairs. When I approach Vera’s bedroom door, I notice that it’s cracked open. I pad over, press my back to the wall next to it, and listen to any sounds in the room.
“You saved Jax’s life last night,” Noire says quietly. “If it weren’t for your healing right then and there, he would have bled out completely. The Ezkai mender says he was in a critical condition.”
“Isn’t that what he deserves?” Vera’s voice is rough, as if she spent the whole night crying.
“Nobody deserves to die before their time is up,” Noire says calmly. “Even our enemies.”
“Whatever,” Vera says.
I imagine her rolling her eyes.
“If Ezkai Phoenix and Jax wouldn’t have shown up when they did, you might not have survived the night, Vera dear.”
Vera doesn’t reply to that. My heart sinks. I don’t know how we can resolve this, how we can find our way back to a place where things are not as…dire as they are now.
“I know you’re grieving, dear. You have every right to,” Noire says gently. “But we have a job to finish. You have to see it through so that the Talbots don’t win. If they do, all of it—all that we, you, have accomplished so far—will be for nothing. Kitajo’s death will be for nothing.”
“Don’t speak to me about Kitajo’s death,” Vera says and her voice trembles. “I don’t want the job anymore. You can have it.”
Noire sighs. “We all have a part to play during these trials, my dearest. It’s not easy waking up every day when your heart is heavy. I know that. But if you don’t, if you give in to the darkness, it will swallow you whole. And the rest of the country with you.”
“That’s a whole lot of responsibility for a simple Caetra.”
“You’ve never been just a simple Caetra. From the very first day I met you, when you came to see Kitajo at the castle with Sagara’s file on Caligos, I knew you were one of those people who have the strength to move mountains.”
“You’re lucky you know how to sweet talk me,” Vera says with a sigh.
It’s an intimate conversation, one I shouldn’t have eavesdropped on. I’m about to walk away when the door opens wide and Vera walks out. She arches an eyebrow when she sees me standing pressed to the wall by her door.
I clear my throat. “I wasn’t spying on you. I just came to speak to you.”
Noire emerges from the room, too. “Good morning, Ezkai Phoenix. Have you slept well?”
I only shake my head.
Noire nods as if he understands the struggle well. “It’s been an intense couple of days. I know just the cure. There isn’t much a good hearty breakfast can’t fix.”
My stomach rumbles right then. I don’t even remember the last time I ate.
“Come on, let’s sit and have breakfast,” Noire says with a pleasant smile.
I follow them to the dining table and we sit down. A couple of minutes later, two maids come out from the kitchen and set the breakfast table. Everything smells delicious, and it looks even better than it smells.
I can’t eat just yet.
“What are you going to do with Jax?” I glance between Vera and Noire.
“He must face the consequences of his crime,” Vera says, not looking at me. “That’s the law and tradition. He assassinated the Ezkai General.”
“I know. I understand that. I’m not saying he shouldn’t,” I say. “But this is Jax we’re talking about. Does anything he did to help us win the trials so far count? Or the fact that he only executed him, and we know who ordered it?”
Vera looks up, her gaze sharp as a dagger.
From my leather jacket, I pull out the journal I snatched from Daegel’s home office. I slide it towards Vera. She looks at it with a frown.
“I found this hidden in Daegel’s place,” I say. “Looks like some sort of a log. I can’t make sense of it, but maybe you can.”
Vera opens it then and scans a couple of pages. Her eyebrows hike all the way to her hairline, and she pushes the journal towards Noire. The Taaslord flips through a couple of pages and then glances at Vera.
Some sort of wordless communication passes between them before Noire closes the journal and they turn to me.
I bite the inside of my cheek. “Is this useful at all?”
“It’s beyond valuable, Ezkai Phoenix,” Noire says and grins.
My shoulders sag with relief.
“What is it?”
“It’s a log of Caligos movements,” Vera says. “Daegel kept track of rival families, where and what they’ve done. I assume it’s a normal practice, to ensure they have something in case they need to blackmail their rivals.”
“Thank you for retrieving this, Ezkai Phoenix,” the Taaslord says. “With these logs, we can work to resolve some of the mysteries and finally put a certain Ezkai Caligos on trial.”
“I’m glad it’s useful,” I say. “Now, back to Jax.”
“He is a criminal,” Vera says slowly.
“He is. But so am I. And so are you,” I say, lifting my chin. “Have you forgotten all we have done in these last couple of months? We have stolen from Uringi, and we have found loopholes in the trial rules to help me win.”
Vera opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out.
She knows I’m right.
“So, when we’re talking about Jax’s crimes, let’s not hide behind the bullshit of serving justice as law-abiding citizens. You want retribution for your lover’s death. That’s what it’s truly about, isn’t it?”
Vera purses her lips.
“Fine,” she finally admits, stabbing a piece of cucumber with her fork. “I don’t care about the law. I want him to suffer for what he did to Kitajo.”
I can understand the desire for vengeance.
It’s a language I’m fluent in.
“It’s fair,” I say. “Seeking revenge is an isolating and desolate path. You sure you want to pursue this?”
Our gazes lock, and we stare at each other for a long while.
“One is not able to change one’s past. But one is always capable of changing one’s future,” Noire says lightheartedly.
We both look at him. He’s cutting into a piece of pink roasted beet with a small smile dancing on his lips.
“Let’s put Vera’s personal desires for revenge aside for now.
The law is the law, Phoenix. As the future Ezkai General, you must accept that.
Jax needs to answer for his actions, even if he was only a pawn. ”
Any hope I had up until now of finding a reasonable solution that doesn’t involve Jax’s head being severed from his shoulders disappears.
Noire looks up from his plate. “That being said, I think you bring up an interesting point. Jax did cooperate with you and your support team during the duration of the trials, which could be considered to lighten his sentence. Especially if he’s willing to testify against Caligos when the time comes. ”
My heart flutters and I lean forward. “Okay. What would that mean for him?”
Noire shrugs. “I can’t give you the answer for certain, I can only offer guidance. But it could mean an incarceration or banishment rather than a death sentence.”
I nod. It’s better than nothing. We can work with that.
“For now, we’ll have to keep Jax in jail,” Noire says and my heart drops. He glances at Vera, who quietly eats her vegetables with scrambled tofu. “Daegel made sure enough people know about Jax’s crime. I can’t allow him to walk free, as the temporary Ezkai General.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and nod again.
“Once the trials are over, we can start the official trial and sentencing,” Noire adds.
“I think it’s more than fair, considering that he assassinated a godsdamned Ezkai General,” Vera says.
I bite my tongue and don’t argue.
She has every right to be angry.
“Until he’s healed he can stay here,” Vera says. “Then Noire’s Ezkai will move him to the cells under the castle.”
“That’s fine. I’m sorry, by the way,” I say to her. She looks up at me, surprised. “About Tanaka. I can’t imagine how it feels.”
Vera clears her throat. “Thanks. It was definitely…unexpected.” After a pause, she adds, “I do owe you an apology, too.”
I frown. “For what?”
“I blamed Caligos knowing about me and Savage King on you, and the slip up you had with Daegel. But it’s not your fault, and I am sorry for putting the blame on you.”
My chest swells. I clear my throat. “Thank you, Vera.”
She nods. “Now, with all that out of the way, we must regain our focus. Which is making sure you’re prepared for the Trial of Strength, which can happen any day now.”
I sigh. “I’ll return to training with Kazh first thing tomorrow morning.”