Chapter 75
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
PHOENIX
The sky is furious today.
Heavy rain beats at my naked skin while I sit on the rock in Vera’s back garden wearing only my undergarments, my legs crossed and tucked neatly underneath me.
Through the harsh rain, I can barely hear Kazh’s cane tapping the ground and the grating sounds her clinging bracelets make as she circles me.
I’m still as a statue despite the conditions. My back is straight, my shoulders are squared and relaxed. I stare straight in front of me, ignoring the rain that keeps pouring down my face and into my eyes.
I don’t think. I don’t feel. I simply am.
Patiently, I sit through hours of sensory torture Kazh puts me through one last time. Then I graciously go through thirty essential poses Kazh shouts out. She’s as ruthless as ever. I don’t have a moment to pause and breathe as I move from one pose into another.
But my body is strong, my muscles moving with ease as I flow from one position into the next. Three months ago my muscles would have given up on me. But not today. Today, I stand strong.
Rain washes off the sweat from my face and body, and it cools me down.
My breaths are even and deep. I don’t falter, even when Kazh whacks me with her cane or curses me with her wicked tongue.
I don’t mind the curious gazes from Hojo, Hel, or Jax, who all sit on the roofed terrace outside and watch me train.
Today is the first day Jax was able to get out of bed and walk around. I must say, I missed his cheeky jokes and mischievous smirks in the last couple of days.
I don’t admit it out loud, of course. He doesn’t need to know.
The tension between him and Vera remains. I can tell Jax is wracked with guilt. But Vera is unmoving, which I don’t blame her for.
Jax is responsible for the murder of the love of her life.
“Last one,” Oka Oya says and I’m relieved. “Upside-down serpent,” she orders. “On top of the rock.”
I don’t hesitate and climb on top of the flat rock.
It’s slippery under my naked feet, and when I bend forward and brace my palms flat against it, I doubt whether I can keep my balance.
Despite that, I transfer my weight onto my hands and use my core strength to lift my legs towards the sky. The raindrops tickle my bare feet.
“Well done, you shithead,” Kazh says coming to stand in front of me. She’s upside down. I look up to meet her gaze. “You have learned a lesson or two. I’m confident you can handle yourself during the Trial of Strength. At least you won’t die in the first ten minutes.”
I snort and roll my eyes.
“Now, if you want to win, you have to understand how to fight during the last trial. You’re a Phantom Ranger. Despite your gift, that puts you at a disadvantage against other opponents because you need distance between you and them to utilize your full potential.”
“Did I hear you say I’m gifted?” I tease.
“I said despite your gift,” Kazh says, her voice flat. “I thought I’m the old crone. But apparently you’re the one who has hearing issues.”
Jax’s chuckle reach my ears even through the roaring rain.
“What are you saying, then?” I ask.
“When you enter the last trial, the first thing you want to do is find a way to put yourself in a position that allows you to use your skills to your best advantage rather than blindingly going into a fight. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Oka Oya.”
“Well, we’ll see during the Trial of Strength,” she says flatly. “Enough now. Get into resting position.”
Slowly, I unfold myself and get back into lotus position. Kazh stands in front of me, watching me with her dark eyes like a hawk. She’s all sharp edges, but for a heartbeat, she softens.
My chest tightens.
“You have been one of the hardest Decarios to train. Arrogant, stubborn, and with a head full of shit. Reckless like none other, and stupidly brave.” She pauses to clear her throat.
“But when the path to greatness is rocky, full of obstacles, and leaves your feet bleeding raw, reaching the destination is that much more rewarding.”
The backs of my eyes burn. A lump forms in my throat.
“I watched you transform from a wild, feral, lost child into a well-rounded, balanced, and confident person with a purpose in such a short amount of time. You must know, it’s a special character trait in itself.
Not many are capable of such change. I don’t say it often, and I won’t say it again, so listen carefully.
I’m proud to have witnessed this transformation. And I’m proud to be your mentor.”
It might be the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I don’t try to blink away the tears. I let them flow down my cheeks and allow the rain to wash them off.
I press my fist over my heart and bow at the waist, as deep as my body will allow in front of Kazh.
“It’s an honor to be trained by you, honorable Oka Oya, and to call you a mentor.
Thank you for your guidance.” I straighten my back so I can look her in the eye when I say the next words. “Thank you for everything.”
She eyes me silently for a long moment. “Something weighs on you. What is it?”
I lower my gaze. So many things weigh on my shoulders.
“Soon I’ll have to face the man I still love.” I manage to choke the words out. “And kill him if I want to win. What if I can’t do it when the time comes?”
“Ah, that,” she murmurs. “Loving him was your first mistake.”
My cheeks burn. “I know.”
“Never fall in love with a man because of his potential, Phoenix,” Kazh says. It may be the first time she addresses me by my name, so I look up and meet her gaze. “Not unless you want to spend the rest of your life drowning in misery as he fails to live up to it.”
I give her a sharp nod.
“Your second mistake is thinking you can’t face your weakness when the time comes.”
“Is love a weakness to you?”
Kazh looks down her nose at me. “Loving the wrong person is.”
I press my lips into a thin line and nod again.
“When it’s time to face your weakness, remember the destruction that will follow if you give in to it.”
She grunts, taps her cane on the ground once, turns around, and walks away without saying another word to me. As I watch her disappear inside Vera’s studio, eerie calm settles in my bones.
Any moment now my life will change forever.
The snake tattoo starts to burn.