Chapter 13 Andrew
“So…” My gaze stays up at the ceiling as I tap my fingers on my chest. “Wh-what do we do now?” Other than the box fan at the other end of her room, there is just a loud silence. She doesn't say anything with words, but her loud sigh breaks my stare at her ceiling.
“I-I don't really know…” Her words are in heavy pants; I know she's still coming down from the high of what just happened. She's not alone. With a huge grin on my goofy-looking face, I turn my head to the side so that I'm facing her while propping myself up on my arm.
“Well, what does this mean for us?” The question has been sitting heavily in my mind for the past few seconds as we've been lying next to each other.
“Are we… together?” I'm not sure if it's the right choice of words to use.
Hell, I'm clueless about this whole relationship thing.
All I know is, now, I never want to leave her side.
“Andy,” she says, sitting up, matching my position.
Her cheeks are still flushed, and damp strands of her hair are stuck to the side of her face and neck.
The way she says my name makes me nervous.
Maybe what we just did was a bad idea. Do I regret it?
Absolutely not. I will replay this night like old Nick at Night reruns.
“Candi…” I know there is a quiver in my tone, but I can't hide it. Not when I'm terrified that this is the last night I'll get to see her, be near her, or even talk to her.
“I want to be with you…” A lightness hits me, and my shoulders begin to relax. “... But I haven't been single for that long…” I should've expected this, but it sucks to hear.
“So… What does that mean for us? Can we still talk? Or… what we just did…” She shivers under my touch when I walk my fingers up her other exposed arm.
“I don't want you to think I want what we have to end… I just need to take things kind of slow…” What we just did was “taking it slow?”
“... You want to keep being us, but you're not ready to… what exactly?” I need her to spell it out for me. This is all just so damn confusing.
“Well, no…”
“Did you plan for that to happen?”
“No, but I'm glad it did…”
“Candi, I'm willing to do whatever it takes, as long as I can spend time with you.” It's so easy to let those words slip out.
“I… just need some time to be… official.” Official? Does she mean…. Tell people we’re together? What does she mean she needs time? How much time? I would wait forever by her side if she eventually let me call her mine… but a ballpark number would be nice.
“Time? How long are we talking here?” I laugh anxiously.
“Just, until I feel ready…” Until you feel ready? What the hell does that mean?
“I understand completely.” Nice. Lie to her. That will win you some points. “... You were with Zane for a long time.” The thought hits me like a freight train when I take a deep breath in. “... But I can't be away from you. Not now, I'm like… Fucking addicted…”
“I don't want you to be away from me, Andy. Nothing between us changes.” Her fingers are so soft when she runs them along my jawline, I could melt into her touch all over again.
“Nothing changes…?”
“I promise. I'm still Candi, and you're still my Andy…”
“Your Andy…? That has a nice ring to it. Does that mean I can call you mine, Candi?” A smirk paints on my face.
“Haha, yes. Just between us…”
“Whatever it takes to make you say that I can have you to myself.”
The next morning at school feels different in the best way possible. Other than my biceps being sore from climbing up and down the tree in front of Candi’s room, everything seems… perfect.
She looks… I don't know the right word. Amazing wouldn't begin to cover it.
She straightened her hair today, and she's wearing a grey plaid skirt that hits the middle of her thigh.
Her argyle sweater fits snug in all of the right places.
The tall, wool, black socks have my eyes trailing from her leather oxfords to the hem of her skirt.
I wonder if she can feel me gawking from my locker all the way at the end of the hall.
All I want to do is get her alone somewhere and kiss her until we can no longer breathe.
She is my oxygen. My personal form of heroine.
“The show is only a little over a week away. Are you ready?” I forgot Rayne was standing next to me at his locker, now zipping one of the larger pockets of his bag.
“Ugh… yeah,” my stutter gives away that I'm distracted, no matter how much I'm trying to seem like I've been paying attention to whatever the hell he's been saying this whole time.
“Did you ask Candi if she’d come?”
“Yeah… she said yes.”
“Really?” I can hear the disbelief in his tone, but I don't blame him. It's a dream I still haven't woken up from. I don't think I'll believe it until I see her standing in the crowd.
“Yeah. I asked her last night,” I begin while throwing my backpack over my shoulders. “I'm as shocked as you are…”
“That’s awesome, man!” He pats me hard on my aching upper arm. “She'll get to see you be the badass you are on the bass!”
“Yeah… she'll see something like that.”
“Listen, Andrew. Don't talk yourself down like that. You're the best bass player in this shit town.”
“Wow, thanks…”
“Shut the hell up, asshole. You know what I mean…” He playfully teases as we start making our way to first period.
“It's okay, Rayne. I love you too…”
As he walks into the classroom, I do my best to follow, but the rubber on the bottom of my boots must be glued to the tile. I feel frozen in time the closer she walks to the open door. The tired look on her face brightens, and her blank expression widens into a grin.
“Good morning, Andy.” Her sweet greeting makes the urge to touch her stronger.
“Good morning, beauti- Candi.” My sentiment feels like tangled electric chords in my throat. “You look beautiful today.” I love the way I make her cheeks match the color of her hair.
“Thank you… Maybe we should go sit down…” she says, signaling with her eyes towards our desks in the back of the room.
“Yeah. We probably should. The bell is going to ring any second, and Ferguson will get pissed if we're not on time.” She nods, gripping tightly to the straps on her bag.
Her nails are painted pink today, and I imagine them interlaced with my black chipped polish.
I wish I could hold her hand and proudly show everyone in the senior class that we're together.
“Why are you so dressed up today?” My eyes move down from her glossy lips to her dark knee-high stockings when she sits down in her assigned seat.
“There's a basketball game today. The cheerleaders have to dress up on game days. Why? Does it look bad?!” She fidgets in her dark blue chair, doing her best to cover up by pulling on her skirt.
I can't help the way it attracts my attention, and I take quick glimpses of her alabaster skin just below the hem.
“I just told you, you look beautiful. I'm just used to seeing you more… casual.”
“You're sweet…” I'm not sure if she's being honest or sarcastic, but I'll take it.
“Haha, thanks. So… how long are the games? I don't know if you noticed, I don't normally go to the school's sporting events…” I've gotten used to our nightly talks, and if I'm being honest, I'm hoping for another invitation to climb up a tree into her tower.
“Really? I would've picked you as a big basketball fan.” She laughs, and it's hard not to join her.
I love her laugh. “Usually a couple of hours.” Her face is in her bag as she fishes out her pen and her notebook.
“W-would you want to meet up afterwards?” This is better than the invitation I was hoping for.
“You want to meet up with me?” I try to hide my excitement, but I can't contain my cheesy simper when I flip through my notebook to find an empty page.
“Y-yeah. Maybe meet by the side door when the game ends. I could text you when it's over…”
“Uh… yeah. Of course.” I've never given her my number.
We've always talked on MySpace. “Give me your phone…” she nods and conceals her device in her hand, but the rose colored plastic edges stick out past her fingers.
She hands me her pink Razr. Pink, of course, it's pink.
“There.” I whisper, you'll always have your Andy with you wherever you go.” I wink before handing her phone back.
“Thank you. I'll keep you with me forever.” I want to believe her, no matter how ridiculous it is.
“Oh, now who's being sweet…”
“Don't you want mine?” She asks, holding out her palm. My silver Nokia almost weighs down her hand. She quietly hides her hands under her desk and types her number into my contacts. “There. Now you'll always have me too.” Those are words I will never forget.