Chapter 14 Candi
ERRR! The loud chime from the clock signals the end of the third quarter.
Only one more quarter until this game ends, and there are only about thirty more minutes until I get to see Andy.
On the outside, I'm wearing my required cheesy cheerleader smile.
On the inside, I'm jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas.
After each cheer routine, I can't help but take quick looks away from the crowd to the enormous clock on the wall. Come on, move faster.
“You're staring at the clock again…” Britt says between gritted teeth with her mouth in a wide plastic grin. “Another MySpace date?” She asks quietly enough so none of the other cheerleaders can hear, but loud enough that I can hear it over our rustling pom poms and cheering fans.
“Not quite. He's meeting me outside after the game.”
“You mean, you're hanging out in person?”
“Yes… He's picking me up…”
“You're going to be alone with him?!”
“Shh… yes. Why is this such a big deal?”
“You just ended things with fuck face not that long ago. Are you sure you're ready for something new and with… him?”
“I know I'm not fully ready… but… I really like him.”
“I know. I care about you… I just don't want to see you getting hurt again.”
“I know….and I really appreciate it, Britt. But Andy… he isn't like that. He’s sweet, and he cares…”
“Yeah, that's nice, but how is he…”
“Well….he's pretty good at that too…”
“What the hell, Candi?! I was kidding! When?!”
“Umm, last night. I snuck him into my room when my parents were asleep. He told me he wanted to see me, so I asked him to come over…”
“... And he did?”
“He was over in less than ten minutes…”
“Damn. This guy loves you…”
“Love? I wouldn't go that far…”
“I would. He's obsessed with you.”
Me:
The game is over! Still want to see me?
I'm so jittery as I type the message; my hands are shaking with each key I push. I bite around my cuticle, and the light from my screen illuminates my face while I wait in the dimly lit girls’ locker room.
Your Andy:
Wassup Candi ;) Of course, I want to see you. I always do <3. Be there in five minutes.
Me:
Can't wait :)
My body vibrates in excitement as I stuff my cheer uniform into my satin baby blue duffel bag, as well as my brush, white and navy Nike low tops, and my clear peppermint lip gloss.
Your Andy:
I'm here. I'll meet you at the side entrance.
Me:
Ok. Sounds good!
I practically run past the lockers and out of the door until I can see him through the glass door. My heart skips when I see him. I barely let him through the open doorway before I nearly tackle him.
“I'm happy to see you, too.” His handsome sneer is wide, with the corners of his mouth almost reaching his cheeks. Andy plants a kiss on my lips, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He moves us against the cold, red wall as our lips are still connected and cups my ass underneath my wool skirt.
His mouth trails down my neck, causing me to release a moan under my breath. I feel his grip tighten when my hands tangle in his soft pink strands. “Andy,” I don't know why his name flows through me, but it makes his uncovered arms break out in goosebumps.
“Yes, Candi…” his warm breath on the sweet spot on my neck makes me shudder in my sweater.
“As much as I love this…” I begin between the continuous kisses.
“Maybe we should go to your car before my coach catches us making out in the hallway.” I don't miss the disappointment in his eyes when he has to let me go, or the redness in his cheeks.
I love that you're so obsessed with me. Is that so wrong to say?
“You're probably right,” he says, looking down the hall, checking to see if we're clear of any faculty members. “Okay, good.” He releases a heavy sigh. “I don't think anyone saw us.” He takes my hand in his, and we both walk out into the parking lot, bracing against the stinging cold February wind.
Andrew's car is… cozy. Not too clean, but I've seen worse.
Way worse. The ash-colored upholstery is still intact, although there are a few brown stains on the back seat that are partially hidden by his amp and a few electrical cords.
“Are you hungry?” It's the first thing he asks me as the hot air from the vent hits me in the face.
My stomach growls at the mention of food.
“I could eat…” I answer, but I'm still stuck at visually exploring the interior of his gold Honda. Definitely a guy’s car.
It smells like a guy's car. The Little Tree’s air freshener blows in the warm wind from the vent on the dash.
Black Ice. Interesting name for a scent that just smells like men's cologne.
“It was my dad's old car.” He chuckles under his breath while he straps himself into the driver's seat. “I-I don't usually have anyone other than Rayne and Seth in here. Other than that, the spare seats just hold my band equipment and my backpack.”
“It's nice…lived in.”
“Lived in? Candi, it's a beat-up car. You can be honest, but it gets me to band practice, to school, and back.
Not to mention, it's not one of those huge gas guzzlers.
Right now, that's all I need.” He laughs again to himself, backing out of the parking space.
“Does Taco Bell sound good?” The bright light from the school parking lot lights shines on us, illuminating his indigo irises.
I've never noticed how blue his eyes are before this moment.
“Taco Bell sounds great.”
“Taco Bell parking lot… sounds like the perfect place for our first date.”
“Date?” I swallow what feels like a huge lump in my throat.
“You wouldn't call this a date?”
“I-I don't know about a date…” Why did I just get so damn nervous? Oh, no. I'm fidgeting again. I try to adjust my skirt in the passenger seat, but the hem keeps moving up my thighs.
“No? Why is that?” He presses on the accelerator, and we hit the main drag of the road in front of the school.
“We're just spending time together after a game…”
“Is that what this is?” He's doing that smile again. The one that makes my insides feel like melted cotton candy. “... And here I thought we were two people who were crazy about each other, going to get food, maybe even spend some time with each other… by definition, that's a date…”
“Well… yes… but…”
“But what?” He waits for my response under a red stoplight.
“Umm… I guess, when we're together, it just feels like… us. I don't really get the anxious feelings you would when you go on your first date…” I hope I'm not rambling. I can feel my words coming out in small stutters.
“I'm glad I don't make you feel nervous…” I wouldn't exactly say that.
My stomach feels like a million butterflies are bursting from their cocoons.
I don't say anything. I can't because now I feel like I'm about to throw up.
“Wait… Are you nervous?” He takes a sharp turn to the right down another road, only lit by street lamps and porch lights from houses facing the mostly empty road.
“A little.” I watch the snow-covered ranch-style homes move quickly through the humidity on the window.
“Do you want to know a secret?” He pauses and exhales a deep breath. “I am too.”
“You are?”
“Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this moment since freshman year. Of course I'm nervous.” He's liked me since Freshman year?
“Freshman year? Really?” He nods and turns into the Taco Bell parking lot. “Why didn't you say anything?”
“Yes, really. I used to look at you in the hallways and in the classes we had together, like you were some kind of priceless artifact that I could only look at through plexiglass. I could never talk to you because you were so off and on with Zane.” He says his name like it tastes like one of those lemon Warhead candies.
I don't know what to say to that. Maybe I should just avoid the whole topic of Zane altogether.
There's a silent pause in the air until we're both startled by the voice in the drive-through speaker. It's a nice break from the new tense feeling in the car. If only you had said something. I wouldn't have been with Zane, and I wouldn't have wasted so many tears.
“You okay?” Andrew must've ordered our food through my dissociation, because I don't remember ordering anything.
“Yeah. I-I'm fine.” He hands me the plastic bag, and the heat from the freshly cooked food feels amazing on my lap. “Hey, where are you going? I thought we were eating…”
“Not here. I want to show you something.”
Andrew turns onto the darkest road I've ever seen; however, the glow from the moon looks amazing in the midnight sky. “Where are we?”
“You've never been here before?” He turns into an empty parking space and turns off the ignition. “It's one of my favorite spots when things get… well, when life happens.” He explains as he takes a long drink from his large Sierra Mist.
“It's beautiful.” The stars in the winter sky reflect off the still water from the man-made reservoir in front of us. It's a peaceful contrast to the random patches of snow on the frozen grass and wooden picnic tables.
“It is.” He's quiet, aside from the few bites he takes from his crunchy taco. “I brought you here because when I'm with you, everything just stops. You make me feel like…this.” His words get trapped in his throat, and he takes another sip from his drink.
“Like…what exactly?”
“I don't really know how to explain it…I-I know it doesn't make much sense, but at my house…
It's a lot. My parents are either bitching at each other, or my dad gets pissed at my mom, and he leaves.
When he's gone, she's passed out on the couch.
It's just a fucking mess. But when I'm talking to you, it makes my mind quiet, and I can only picture you.”
Am I tearing up right now? No one has ever told me anything that could come close to that. “I make you feel that way?”
“Uh… yeah. Was that too much? I wanted to tell you that last night, but I wasn't sure what you would say…” I'm not sure what to say.
It's so much to admit to one person for such a short amount of time we've really known each other.
At least, that's what my mind is screaming.
My heart, on the other hand, just did two double-back handsprings.
“I-I think I could be falling for you…” My hands are so small when he puts them in his.
“You're falling for me? What does that mean?”
“I can't go a minute without thinking about you.
You're on my mind when I wake up and right before I go to sleep.” He holds my hands tighter, weaving his fingers in mine.
“Our time together in history is my favorite part of the day, and I feel like a piece of me is missing when I have to see you walk to your next class…”
“Andy…” I give a heavy sigh. “I like you… I like you a lot…”
“Candi, you don't have to say anything else. It's just something I needed to get off my chest.”
“You're obsessed with me, aren't you?” I tease before taking a bite of my taco supreme.
“Is it that obvious?” I love his deep laugh.