Chapter 15
On Monday morning, when Josie showed up at the office, she looked exhausted.
Bluish circles rimmed her eyes, her skin was pale, and her movements sluggish.
It took all of A.J.’s self-control not to order her to go home, but that really wasn’t his style.
Instead, he made a mental plan on how he’d take care of her for the next few days. Or maybe forever.
Once that startling thought entered his brain, he couldn’t stop fixating on it.
He wanted her, badly, but his desire was more than physical.
Sure, he obsessed over her long legs and how they’d feel wrapped around him.
Yes, he wanted to tangle his fingers in her thick, dark hair and pull it just enough to make her gasp.
And he absolutely couldn’t stop thinking about how responsive she was when he’d kissed her and how good she’d tasted.
But it was more than that. In his mind, he was already making room for Josie in his life beyond the bedroom. He could only hope she wanted the same.
In the privacy of his office, he reached for her before she could even shrug out of her jacket.
“Are you sure you’re okay to be working today?” he asked, pleased when she melted against his chest.
“I need to do something, otherwise I’ll just sit at home and cry,” she answered.
“It’s okay to do that, you know.”
She sighed. “I’d prefer to keep my mind occupied.”
“I get it,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
“I know you do.”
When he released her, she dropped her laptop case on the conference table and rubbed her temples.
“How about working a half day today, and then I’ll take you home to my place and teach you my secret recipe for chicken cacciatore,” he suggested.
He watched her expression brighten even through her weariness.
“I’d like that,” she said.
He strode over to his desk and sat on the edge. “So, what’s on our agenda today?”
“Well, I texted with Holly yesterday, and she and I are meeting to walk the property this morning.”
“Great,” A.J answered. He opened his desk drawer and fished out his car keys.
Josie held up a hand, and a flash of hesitation appeared in her expression before she answered. “I told her I would be coming by myself.”
“Ah,” A.J. said, tossing the keys back into the drawer. He understood. He didn’t love that the girl seemed so uncomfortable around him, but he suspected it wasn’t him personally, rather something to do with her past. If Josie could forge a positive relationship with Holly, it would be a good thing.
They spent an hour reviewing Josie’s to-do list for the week before she glanced at her delicate gold watch and packed her things.
A.J. retrieved her jacket and helped her into it.
He was extremely pleased at the shy kiss she gave him before she left.
It was the first one she’d initiated, and he interpreted it as good progress.
“See you at my place this afternoon,” he said, and she nodded.
After returning a few phone calls, and checking in with a problematic client, A.J. headed to the ops room for a meeting. He found Cam already waiting. His friend stood, hands on hips, staring at satellite imagery over a jungle compound in Colombia.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hey,” Cam said, without turning around.
Cam’s one-word answers and overall gruff demeanor didn’t bother A.J.. He’d known the guy since BUDS, served with him for years. He’d literally gone into battle with Cam. He knew his friend’s darkest secrets, and he’d been with Cam when he’d nearly lost Lissa.
Conversely, Cam had seen A.J. at his worst and held him up when he’d gone through hell during Allie’s illness.
Cam was the kind of friend you knew would have your back anytime, anywhere, and for any reason.
They knew each other as well as any two people could.
So, when Cam turned around with a shit-eating grin on his face, A.J. rolled his eyes.
“What?” he demanded.
“You and Josie?” Cam asked, but it didn’t sound much like a question.
A.J. stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave a non-committal grunt. Cam’s grin grew wider.
“I never would have seen it coming, but I like her with you,” Cam said.
“It surprised me too.”
“Rough timing, with Charlie,” Cam said.
“Yeah, I’m trying to take it slow. Honestly, I didn’t think I was ready yet, but Josie makes me feel things again, you know?”
Cam nodded and sat. “Brother, you were mourning Allie even before she died. You both got screwed, and you had to spend half your marriage taking care of her.”
“I’d do it again,” A.J. said.
“Of course you would. She was worth every second. I just think you’ve been grieving for longer than a year, and maybe you’re more ready than you think.”
Cam rarely offered emotional insight. Hell, the guy rarely strung a full sentence together about anything personal, but he was far more perceptive than he ever let on.
“You’re probably right. I wasn’t expecting it, but then Josie sort of landed in my world, or me in hers, I guess.
She isn’t afraid to talk about Allie either.
She understands I’m going to miss my wife for the rest of my life.
It probably helps that she’s a therapist, but she’s also a thoughtful, kind person. My kids already love her.”
“I’m happy for you,” Cam said.
The conversation ended when Jake, Maria, and Devin Marco pushed through the door, joking loudly with one another.
“Sit your asses down,” Cam said, by way of greeting, his no-nonsense attitude back.
The three made a grab for the donuts and pastries set out on the center of the conference table before pulling out their chairs.
Maria held up her donut like it was a prize, Jake shoved an entire cream puff in his mouth, and Marco licked all the frosting from the top of his cupcake.
Crumbs and powdered sugar littered the table.
“Fucking savages,” Cam muttered.
A.J. shook his head and laughed. No one observing this small team of operatives would have any idea just how skilled and deadly they really were.
Cam gave them a moment to inhale their snacks and then spoke. “Let’s talk about why we’re here,” he said, and the room fell silent.
“What do we know?” Maria spoke first, her attitude shifting straight into business mode.
“So far, only the basics. According to Naval Command, an intelligence failure led to Charlie’s SEAL team being compromised,” A.J. answered.
“How did they die?” Jake asked quietly.
“Explosion. According to the report, they were moving in on a high value target, but the building they raided was rigged. As soon as they made entry, it went up,” Cam answered.
A.J. glanced at Jake, who’d gone pale, probably remembering his own dust-up with exploding buildings. Or maybe he was just imagining his friend in his last moments. Either way, A.J. understood, but he didn’t like the haunted look on Jake’s face.
“Command suspects a terrorist cell was doing business with a cartel down there, but after the failed mission, the cell went dark. The Navy has officially requested our help, so we’ll have access to all their intel on the overall mission, as well as that particular op shortly,” Cam continued.
“Which cartel?” Maria asked sharply.
Cam shook his head. “Not sure.”
Maria tapped her fingers on the table. “Maybe I can get some info and give us a place to start.”
A few years ago, Maria’s husband had been the sole surviving witness to a cartel hit, earning him a giant target on his back.
Maria had been his bodyguard at the time, and with her ties to Miami, she’d helped nail the gun-for-hire who’d been after Teag.
Two women had been killed in that hit, and by solving their murder case along with Teag’s shooting, Maria and TSI had earned the gratitude of a powerful crime family.
“Reach out to your contacts,” Cam said with a nod.
“On it, boss,” Maria answered, eyes bright.
Cam turned to Marco. “Hit up your old DEA contacts and see if you can fill in some of the blanks on this unholy alliance between a cartel and the terrorist cell.”
A former Army Ranger and DEA agent, Devon Marco was one of their most skilled field operatives.
Although he’d been with TSI for years and had proven himself many times over, A.J.
couldn’t say he actually knew the man well.
Taciturn and private, Marco showed up for the company and for his team, but offered little about himself personally.
Didn’t matter. A.J. knew when to respect someone’s boundaries, and he respected Marco’s.
“Will do,” Marco answered.
When Cam turned to Jake, his expression softened. A.J. saw a concern in Cam’s eyes that mirrored his own.
“We need all the satellite data analyzed and the reports thoroughly reviewed. Are you up for it?” Cam asked.
Jake sat up and cleared his throat. “I have to do something.”
Cam glanced briefly at A.J., but the look was enough to convey his partner’s concern.
A.J. gave a slight nod back. Jake’s PTSD had been brutal, and while the younger man worked hard to stay healthy mentally and physically, losing his best friend had been a harsh blow.
He’d keep an eye on Jake, make sure he didn’t backslide.
When the meeting ended, and Cam, Maria, and Marco left the room, talking quietly, A.J. put a hand on Jake’s shoulder. The door clicked closed, leaving the two of them in a heavy silence. Jake squeezed his eyes shut and blew out a hard breath.
“I already had a session with Harris,” Jake said softly.
“Good. Are you sleeping?” A.J. asked.
Jake shrugged. “Some nightmares. Fiona has this relaxation app all set up on my phone. It helps.”
“Do you need anything?” A.J asked.
Jake shook his head.
“Stay ahead of this, Jake. Fiona and your two little girls need you,” A.J. said.
Jake sniffed and swiped at his eyes with the back of his hands. “Three little girls,” he said. “Fiona’s pregnant again.”
A.J.’s face split into a wide grin. “Brother, that’s fantastic. Congratulations.”
A flash of pure joy lit Jake’s face before it tempered into a sad smile.
“I don’t know what to feel. My life is great.
I love my family, my work, but the guilt is always there.
Why did I get to come home? What did I do to deserve this life?
If Charlie hadn’t pulled me out of that building, I’d be dead, so why Charlie? ”
“Asking ‘why’ is always a dead end. It’ll just keep your head spinning,” A.J. said.
“I know,” Jake agreed. He sighed and ran a hand through his longish, sandy-blond hair.
A.J. leaned back in his chair. “My mother-in-law said something to me the other day, and I think it applies here. She said that sorrow and joy exist simultaneously. That’s life, so we should embrace the joy, anywhere and anytime we can.”
“Good perspective,” Jake said.
“It is.”
“Fiona wants to have a family barbecue soon. She thinks it’ll be good for us all to get together. Bring the kids, and Fluff, of course.”
“Sounds great. Thanks,” A.J. said.
Jake lifted an eyebrow and crossed his arms, a lopsided grin now plastered on his face. “You should bring Josie, too.”
A.J. blinked, willing himself not to look like a starry-eyed teenager at the mention of Josie’s name. Apparently, he was not successful.
Jake laughed.
“It’s still new,” A.J. said.
“I hope it works out,” Jake said.
“Me too.”
“I’m glad you’re there for each other,” Jake said softly as he stood and walked to the door.
A.J. sat for a few more minutes, drumming his fingers on the conference table, thinking.
His tactical mind cycled through scenarios for how to approach the investigation into Charlie’s death, but another part of his brain worried over Josie.
He couldn’t help it. He’d spent so many years of his marriage worrying over his wife, the inclination felt almost second nature.
Josie seemed to appreciate his care, while at the same time, it made her uncomfortable.
She’d been independent for a long time, and he wondered if anyone had ever taken care of her as a partner should.
He didn’t think so. From what he knew of her, she wouldn’t like an overbearing approach, but she did seem to appreciate his affection and attentiveness. He’d keep on with it.