Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Beck
Present
Leaning in the doorway of Sutton’s bedroom staring at her lifeless body lying on the floor next to her bed, breaks my heart just the same as it has the last twenty-nine days. It’s been four weeks of this and my chest aches for her.
Khaos lies curled up against her, his forehead pressed against hers. He has barely left her side. I’ve had to coax him to eat just as often as I’ve tried coaxing Sutton to eat.
Walking over to her, I scoop her up off the floor and put her in bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. Khaos immediately jumps up and positions himself exactly as he was on the floor.
“August?” Sut barely croaks out. Splintering my heart into pieces. She cries out for him in her sleep sometimes too. I wish she’d say my name instead.
Sut seems to be having recurring nightmares too. A few have seemed similar to the night we spent in Vegas when I had to gently rouse her from sleep.
Pressing my lips to her forehead I ask her, “Why do you keep laying on the floor, Sut?”
“Because you can’t fall any further when you’re already on the ground,” Sut whispers, as another tear falls down her face.
“Oh, Sutton,” I say, curling around her, brushing her hair from her face. Just wanting her to let me soothe her.
Sutton rolls toward me but she keeps distance between us. I just wish she’d stop doing that. Doesn’t she know by now, I’m here. I am here for her every day. August left. He hasn’t come back to check on her in four weeks. Four fucking weeks. I’d never leave my girl that long.
“Beck, what are you doing here?” Sut asks softly. “I appreciate you being here, taking care of Khaos…” she trails off.
“I’m here for you, Sutton. I will always be here for you. August had to go back on tour. None of us wanted you to be here alone. From Troy are still touring. Quinn said the tour got extended because they were selling out every venue,” I tell her trying to keep my voice calm.
The sides of her mouth lift the slightest smile at the sound of that news. At the same time, I feel my stomach drop. It’s still him. It’s never going to be me. No matter what I do.
“Let me take care of you. You won’t eat. You barely sleep. You just stare off into space. Every time I come back from the gym; you’re lying on the floor with the dogs. You need to get some fresh air. Go back to work, or at least come with me to Vegas next weekend for my fight,” I all but beg her.
“Sut, did you hear me?” I ask, noticing she’s completely zoned out.
“Yeah…let me just…” Sut starts to say, pushing up from the bed to head toward the shower.
“Yeah? You’ll come to Vegas next week?” I ask, excitement lacing my voice.
“No… I’ll try to go back to work.” Sut turns her back and shuts the bathroom door.
Burying my head in my hands, I feel like this is my last chance to try to prove to her that I can be the one for her. I don’t know what else I can do to show her.
The sound of Khaos whining at the bathroom door pulls me out of my head.
I knock lightly on the door to let her know I’m coming in. It’s been forty minutes and the water is still running. I shut off the shower which was now freezing cold.
Sutton just sits with her arms wrapped around her legs. Resting her head on top of her knees.
Turning my head away to try to protect her dignity, I wrap Sutton up in a towel and scoop her off of the floor of the shower.
“What are you doing?” she asks as I carry her into her bedroom.
“You were in there forever, Sutton,” I mutter, worry lacing my voice.
“Beck. I’m fine. I’m going to get dressed and go check on things downstairs.” Sut looks away, avoiding making eye contact with me.
I tilt her chin so our eyes can meet. “Sutton, please. Let me take care of you.”
“Can you find my phone for me please?” Sut asks, flipping the comforter over and digging through her bedsheets for it.
I sigh, “It’s on your nightstand.”
Sutton scoops her phone up and starts to scroll through it like a woman unhinged. I watch her closely as her facial expressions change rapidly.
“Sutton… Do you think—” I start to ask.
She puts her hand up, as if to stop me from questioning her and then she slides down the wall and sits on the floor.
I notice her jaw drop and tears start streaming down her face. This is the first sign of emotion I’ve seen since we left the gravesite.
Sutton must be on From Troy’s Instagram. They’ve blown up since the tour.
Not even a minute passes before she’s sobbing. Shutting off her phone and lying it face down on the ground. Khaos immediately gets as close to her as he can and Sutton starts running her fingers through his fur as she sobs uncontrollably.
It takes everything in me not to pull her into my arms, but if Sut wanted me, she could have me, and she doesn’t want me.
So, I walk out of her room, glancing back one more time as I leave my bleeding heart with the woman who’s crying on her bedroom floor over the love of her life.