Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Beck
When I look up and see Sloan walking back toward me, her face goes from humor to terror in an instant.
“Hey, what is it?” I ask, immediately pulling her close to me.
Sloan is trembling in my arms. Her skin is pale, like she’s seen a ghost.
I rub small circles on her back and run my hands gently through her hair to try and calm her. “Take a deep breath through your nose and then blow it out, Sloan. I’ll do it with you. Ready?”
I breathe in and out, but she’s unmoving, a statue.
“Come on, Little Dove. Please? Deep breath in.” I inhale deeply and finally feel her do the same against my chest before blowing out. “Now exhale.”
“Good girl. Again.” We inhale in unison and then exhale.
“One more time, baby,” I encourage and feel her take another breath.
“Please talk to me. What happened?” I ask quietly, gently running my hands up and down her arms to try to stop the trembling.
“I…” she starts.
“There was…” She can’t seem to get her words out.
“A white…” Sloan starts to cry.
“The rose?” I whisper, pulling her closer to me.
Mayhem presses his head into her legs from behind her, as we cocoon her between us.
“Yeah.” Sloan hiccups.
“My ex. H-h-he used to…” Sloan breaks in my arms. Sobbing and shaking.
“It’s okay, Sloan. I have you. You’re safe. It’s just me. Not him,” I promise into her hair, keeping her close to my chest.
Her tiny fists dig into my chest through my shirt.
I feel her tears, my shirt sticking to my skin where they soak through.
“I got you, Little Dove. I got you,” I continue to promise her.
“Can w-w-we…” Sloan starts to ask.
“G-g-go please?” Sloan whimpers.
“Yes, baby, come on.” I pick up the groceries with one hand. I tuck her under my other arm holding her close to me while we walk back in silence. Mayhem heels perfectly, walking as close to her as he can get on her other side.
When we get inside, Sloan makes sure every lock on each door is locked several times. I put Mayhem’s food away in the kitchen and my groceries in the fridge that she thoughtfully packed.
I run my duffel bags to Sutton’s room as fast as I can so I can get back to Sloan.
She’s mindlessly cracking eggs into a bowl, staring off into space when I come back into the kitchen.
I gently place my hand over hers as she’s about to crack another egg.
Her fingers are trembling beneath mine. I wrap my arms gently around her from behind, as she lets the egg fall onto the counter and flinches.
I reach for a towel, wiping her fingers off and then tuck her arms around her waist as I hug her, pulling her in so she leans back against my chest. I rest my head on the side of hers as I just stand there holding her.
I let her know that she’s safe. Bringing her to the present moment and trying to pull her out of her thoughts that she seems to be trapped in.
After a few minutes pass and I finally feel her melt into me.
I gently kiss the side of her head. “Why don’t you go sit on the couch with Mayhem.
I’ll make the omelets and coffee. How about you pick out a movie for us to watch? ” I whisper in her ear.
A single tear falls from her eyes and lands on my forearm wrapped gently around her waist.
“Okay,” Sloan whispers. “Thank you.”
Sloan slowly pads over to the living room, never turning to meet my eyes. I watch as she pulls a baby blue throw off of the back of the couch, wrapping it around herself. The second she lays down Mayhem curls up and rests against her feet.
As I start making the omelets and turn Sutton’s fancy latte maker on, I notice that Sloan has stopped scrolling and has Ten Things I Hate About You up and ready to press play on the tv.
“Oooh, that’s a good throwback.”
When Sloan turns to answer me, her eyes are a little brighter and the color is back in her cheeks.
“It’s my comfort movie,” Sloan says softly, running her nails through Mayhem’s fur.
I bet they’d feel good in my hair.
“Well, it’s a great choice.” I walk over to bring her a veggie omelet and a toffee nut latte.
Sloan takes a sip of her latte and the tiniest moan leaves her. “How did you know?” Sloan asks.
“Know what?” I play dumb. I’ve watched Sloan make her and Quinn these lattes for the past few months. I know it’s her favorite.
“That toffee is my favorite?” Sloan smiles at me, taking another sip.
“Well, you see… One time this girl threw a solid upper cut of coffee on me and it smelled really nutty, so I just sort of guessed,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
“That was an accident. You scared me that day,” Sloan shrieks, gently punching me in the arm.
“I know, Little Dove. I’m only teasing you.” I nudge her shoulder with mine as she presses play on the movie.
She takes a few bites of her omelet and is silent for a few minutes. “This is perfect. Thank you, Beck.”
Sloan puts her plate down on the coffee table and picks up her latte taking another sip.
“Of course, Little Dove.”
When she faces me, I turn my body to face her, so she knows I’m willing to listen to whatever she’s about to say.
Sloan eyes me suspiciously before asking, “No really, how did you know?”
“Because I see you, Little Dove,” I say, staring in those eyes before turning to watch the movie.
“I couldn’t have these with my ex. Hazelnut and toffee nut were always my favorite lattes, but he had a nut allergy. So I used to have to get caramel or vanilla, which was fine but not my favorite. It’s nice to be able to enjoy them again.” Sloan fumbles with her words.
I watch as she fidgets under her blanket out of my periphery before I pretend to cough and lift up my arm. Within seconds Sloan’s nestling under my arm, resting her head on my chest. I pull the blanket up over her and tuck her in.
“You deserve to enjoy all of the little things you want,” I whisper.
Mayhem snuggles up against her feet on the other side of the couch while Sloan burrows in closer to me. The fact that I’m able to bring her comfort, softens my heart even more for her.
I’m convinced Sloan is asleep by how softly she’s breathing but then I hear her whisper, “I see you, too, Beck. Thank you for this.”