Chapter 19
“ H ow’d I do?” I asked Kalliah, tilting my head to the side so she could see my feeble attempt at a coronet braid. Braiding had never been something I mastered, regardless of how many times Kalliah tried to teach me. Slowly, but surely, I noticed improvement, though.
She shrugged. “Obviously it’s not up to my superior level of styling, but it’ll do I suppose.”
Teasingly, I grimaced at the dig.
After announcing loudly, and only slightly dramatically to Ruppert and a few other nearby aides about how utterly exhausted I had become, I schemed to have lunch privately in my room today. With my two favorite people. Ian arrived late, and Kalliah turned up even later. Although I couldn’t be too upset, because she’d stopped and grabbed extra lemon bars for dessert, one of my favorites.
“Leif mentioned your skills with your fingers, Kalliah,” Ian said from where he sat in the sitting area of my chambers.
I spat out the dry red wine, which had just touched my lips. A sacrilege to waste such a delicious liquid, but I couldn’t suppress my laughter. I patted the drops of wine off my dress before it could stain and put me in even more trouble with the laundress than usual.
Lucinda had been around for three centuries, so one would think she’d have seen it all. However, she constantly cursed at the dirt-stained clothes I sent down. A princess should be proper, not rolling around in the muck with those heathen guards. The constant muttering when she came to collect my laundry for the week usually consisted of unimpressed remarks about the state of my training attire.
Kalliah stared at Ian, crossing her arms. “Don’t get me started on how much I’ve had to hear about your fingers, Captain.”
“To be fair, there don’t seem to be many complaints, and I don’t mind hearing how I’ve been complimented. Gives me ideas for what to do next time,” he said, stabbing the last bread roll with his knife and winking.
“Should we take the fact you’re teasing Kalliah to mean Leif fancies her?”
I flinched as Kalliah walked up and pinched the back of my neck before she sat on the unoccupied chair.
She couldn’t stop me now, though. “Or have you just noticed our dear Kalliah blushes any time his name comes up.”
“I despise both of you, and don’t know why I continue to be either of your friends,” Kalliah grumbled.
Ian threw his head back, laughing. “I could see where his affections lie. Though, he stares at you enough, I’m surprised I didn’t notice before training the other day.”
“It’s hard to notice anyone when your own fan club is continuously circling, waiting for a taste,” Kalliah bit back.
“You say it like it’s an insult, when instead, I find it flattering,” Ian teased, winking again. “Besides, it’s a pleasurable taste.”
“Okay, you two?—”
A firm knock sounded at my chamber doors. Kalliah made a move to rise, and I waved her off. “I can answer my own door while you finish eating. Although if it’s Ruppert, checking on me, again , I’m pretending I have suddenly come down with a highly contagious disease of some sort. Be warned.” I sighed loudly. “I do not recall him being this insufferable.”
I flung the door open, expecting to lock eyes with the stickler of a guard, and instead observed only a black tunic. Lifting my eyes, I found Kade.
And Storm.
My mood turned icy, and I growled. “What the hell are you doing here? Figure out more ways to blackmail a princess, have you?”
Kade cocked an eyebrow. “I must admit I was rather intrigued to find an invitation to your bedroom. Especially one that told me to bring Storm as well.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“I invited them,” Ian said, jumping up quickly from his chair, while giving me a not-so-subtle eye roll and waving the two men in. “They shouldn’t be seen coming in, Lana. Use your brilliant brain for a moment.”
“They shouldn’t be here at all,” I hissed back.
Kade brushed past me, inciting a spark spreading from where he touched me all the way to my toes. He paused, almost as if he felt it as well.
Arrogant. I shoved my shoulder into his chest. “Might want to move faster so I can close the door.”
He flashed me a grin, bowing his head and walking inside toward the center of the room, close to Ian, who awkwardly stood next to the sitting area. Kalliah hadn’t budged from her perch on the chaise next to him.
Storm’s exasperated sigh as he passed revealed his own impatience with Kade. It gave me more satisfaction than it should, knowing he annoyed everyone, not just me.
“Well, apparently you called this meeting,” I said, striding toward Ian while I tried and failed to keep the annoyance from my voice. “What was so important that it must be done without my knowledge and in the sanctuary of my chambers.”
Ian cleared his throat, fidgeting on his feet slightly. “If you want to continue being the Hidden Henchman, then we need more help. Specifically, more men who can fight. The increase in attacks is bad enough, but there are too many dark ones ambushing the drops at once for our group to successfully operate alone anymore.” He didn’t even look at Kade or Storm.
Just me.
My shoulders slumped, but only because I knew he spoke the truth. I loathed asking for help, but the thought of asking Kade Blackthorn seemed even worse.
“As honored as I am at your enthusiasm of recruiting my friend and I,” Kade said, tapping his chin and arrogantly cocking his brow, “we never agreed to join your gang of bandits.”
Damn it . I was not prepared to have a mental image of Kade in my chambers. Why did he have to look so good? Even if he ruined it by running his mouth.
“Oh, no, whatever shall we do?” I mocked, feigning shock and sadness, my hand clutching my chest. “Well, we tried. Looks like we’ll keep things status quo for now.”
“Lan,” Ian said. “They already know who you are, which makes them our only choice. Right now, it’s this, or we have to stop until we learn more about what the dark ones are, and why they are getting closer to Ellevail.”
Kade strolled forward, propping himself against my inner bedroom door. “Perhaps if Princess Illiana asked nicely, I’d be more inclined to offer my services.”
“Fucking hell, here we go,” Storm muttered. He hung his head in a clear sign of defeat, shaking it slightly.
“You prick.” I planted my feet firmly in place, crossing my arms. “You’re not the only skilled warrior in this realm. We don't need you. I could find someone else I trusted. Besides, shouldn’t you be off thinking of all the ways you can win this fates-forsaken trial so you can get your precious crown?”
“You saying you trust me is already an incredible start, Little Rebel.” Kade’s smile grew wider by the second. My dagger lay hidden on my thigh, as always. I wondered what would happen if I threw it at his muscular arm.
It wouldn’t be too bad of an injury for him to heal quickly. He certainly had enough power. One little stab couldn’t hurt.
I reached forward, my fingers curling around the fabric of my dress.
“Don’t even think about it,” Ian warned.
I frowned at him. “You ruin all my fun.”
His gaze wandered down to exactly where my dagger hid, so I added another dig, despite the pettiness. “You’re becoming more like Ruppert every day.”
“I don’t think tossing daggers at him will get him to agree to anything.” Ian glared at me, unfazed by my attempt to rattle him.
“Oh, you don’t know me very well then, my friend.” Kade chuckled.
“You know, I’ve been wondering, how did you know how to contact us at the palace?” I asked. Pivoting, I glared at Ian. “I would have thought you’d ask that, actually.”
Ian cracked his fingers, tapping his foot in frustration. “I did ask that.”
“And?” I cocked an eyebrow.
“We took turns following the kitchen kid for over a week when we noticed he left town more often than other staff,” Kade said.
“He’s a grown man,” I snapped.
Kade opened his mouth to continue, but Storm slammed a hand to his chest.
“Enough,” Storm said. “Princess, if you tell us exactly what it is you and Ian are asking, we’ll be able to make a decision if we’ll help.”
“There was one more thing I wanted to know from you beyond how you knew the way to contact us. Why were you asking for supplies from the Hidden Henchman in the first place?” Ian asked. “And why track the dark ones after?”
“We have people we care for, like everyone, who has requested aid,” Kade said.
Storm ran a hand over the side of his face. “We may have seen more of the dark ones than you have, but that hasn’t given us much to go on,” he said. “We wanted to get in touch with the Hidden Henchman, knowing the rumors of the aid you offered. We thought you’d have more information, but apparently, we were wrong.”
I shook my head. “I’ve tried listening in during meetings, or gatherings to what the advisers tell my father, but even then, everything is done in hushed tones, or I’m rushed out so I cannot overhear.”
“You must have something more,” Ian said. “Even the smallest details could help. Do you know where they seem to gather?”
Kade shifted against the doorframe. Storm simply looked at Kade, waiting for his response, instead of offering one up of his own. “Starhaven and Valeford have always seemed to have activity, with Demarva a close third.”
I tensed, glancing in Ian’s direction.
“What?” Kade asked, sensing there was something we weren’t telling him.
“Demarva is where we’re sending more soldiers. Apparently, it’s been overrun again,” Ian answered, a grim expression on his face.
“Are the soldiers not questioned upon their return? It seems the men on the front lines would have even greater insights.” Kade paused as no one spoke. “Captain?”
Ian stretched his neck. “Even being Captain of the Guard does not afford me the knowledge of all the world’s affairs it seems.” He flexed his hand, barely able to contain his frustration. I already knew he felt like the general and the king were keeping important information from him. Every time we talked through the darkness, it became more and more evident just how much.
Ian questioned if it meant he wasn't good enough. Whereas I knew it had nothing to do with his ability. A dark part in the corner of my mind told me Ian remained uninformed because of our friendship. He could slip and share his knowledge with me at any time.
What could possibly be so horrible it had to be kept under lock and key? Other than our people not being safe, which had become more and more obvious. My destiny led to the throne, which meant I would have to know eventually.
“Besides,” Ian added, “the soldiers aren’t returning.”
Kade and Storm were stunned into silence, evident by the way Kade's mouth opened and closed twice before slamming shut into a thin line. Storm leaned his head against the wall and sighed once more.
“We’re sending twenty more men to Demarva sometime in the next few days,” I added, jumping in to make it seem like I knew something . “I overheard Andras and my father talking at the first trial.”
“So,” Kade said, “no one knows anything, and whatever it is, is slowly eliminating the entire guard you have.”
“That about sums it up,” Ian responded, glancing toward the balcony doors. “Our associates are waiting for us, but I leave it up to you two,” He gestured to me and Kade, “if we continue talking or not.”
I studied Ian carefully, attempting to gauge what he really thought. He’d invited Kade and Storm here and must have trusted them thus far. As for me, Kade had kept me safe, saving me in more ways than one now.
At the rate things were changing, if the darkness grew stronger, there wouldn’t be much of a choice. We needed more fighters, and the pair of them were damn good.
I walked up to Kade, standing so close I had to tilt my head to meet his gaze. “If I let you in, if we take you to meet the others, you’re in. You keep our secrets safe. You play by our rules. Do you agree?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “And what do we get in return for our assistance with your little project?”
I moved even closer, the cool scent of fresh rain and sweet summer air swirling around. “You get to live and continue on in these ridiculous trials. Your treasonous thoughts and activities are also safe with me.”
“I’ve never been good at playing by the rules, Little Rebel.”
“Kade!” Storm grunted, exasperated. “Yes, we want to figure out the darkness, too. Yes, you can trust us. Yes, we will help.”
I waited for Kade to acknowledge his friend’s response. Electricity seemed to dance between us. He brought his hand up, gently knocking underneath my chin. “Your secret is safe with me.”
He stared into my eyes a few moments longer. Regardless of how hard I tried, I could not break away from the storms filling his gaze. He released my chin, and I finally freed myself from this trance.
Nodding toward Ian to lead the way, I followed, touching Kalliah’s arm as we passed, steadying myself for a moment.
“Great, leave me here to explain why five men’s voices are coming from inside your private garden,” Kalliah grumbled. “Can’t wait.”
“We haven’t been caught before, we will not be caught now.” I touched her shoulder in quiet thanks.
“You mean before the hulking, broody contender for the crown lazily stood outside your door.”
I snorted but kept walking out to my balcony.
“She forgot handsome, sexy, alluring?—”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone who enjoys the sound of their own voice as much as you do, Kade,” I said.
Storm coughed, but it sounded more like he tried to cover a laugh.
“Now, shall we discuss the details of our next drop, or would you like to continue this tirade?” I asked, my eyebrow arched.
We descended into my garden. My sanctuary now held more people than it ever had before.
As the men behind me left the staircase and fully stepped onto the lush floral masterpiece, I stretched my arm out. “Welcome to my private escape.”
Storm gave a slight nod and kept moving forward, following Ian.
Kade had stopped, his fingers gently touching a beautiful dark-blue hydrangea bush blooming amongst storm-grey roses. I loved this spot.
“Some of the Earth Fae enjoy experimenting with combinations of floral colors,” I said. “Corbin, he’s one of the men who accompanied us on the last drop, and who you will meet in a moment, has an incredible knack for creating colors. He’s mastered every combination I’ve asked for.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to explain this to Kade, but for a second, it seemed as though he cared. Besides, I couldn’t help but love sharing the beauty which could be created here.
I knelt next to the roses, inhaling deeply.
Suddenly the color seemed too familiar. I’d asked for these a few weeks ago after returning from meeting Kade and Storm, and damn it all, this grey practically matched his eyes.
Clearing my throat, I rose, but Kade still stood, studying me. “I think finding the right colors to complement and work together can be just as magical as growing larger trees or crops. Status amongst society be damned, I’m grateful for the talent of those around me.” I fidgeted, my fingers twitching as I rambled.
I turned quickly, brushing past Kade and toward the others, slightly embarrassed at sharing so much of my inner thoughts. Especially sharing them aloud whether Kade had been interested in them or not.
Leif and Corbin were speaking to Ian and Storm when we approached.
“The roses turned out perfectly,” I said to Corbin, gently bumping into his shoulder. “Thank you.”
“I had fun.”
I laughed at the straight face in which he replied. Corbin was the most stoic of our group. His recalling something as fun was rare and made me love the work he put into helping me even more.
I’d caught him smiling alongside Ian and Leif more than once, but he didn’t express joy easily. Still, his steady presence could not be ignored. He told things like they were, which most people strayed from when speaking with royalty. He never balked when I asked for help in my garden, but he never shied away from telling me when my ideas weren’t going to work, either.
For a second, my chest tightened. I’d spent so long believing Ian and Kalliah were the only friends who saw and understood me. Yet Leif and Corbin were two more Fae, risking their lives for a notion I’d come up with. Simply because I’d asked. They’d been loyal, and never demanded elevation of their status, or asked for anything in return.
A part of me wondered if I’d been too callous assuming I didn’t have more Fae I could count amongst my friends. If I considered all of which Leif, Corbin, and Elisabeth had done for me, there were three more people right there I depended on fully.
Now Kade and Storm joined our mix. I highly doubted I would trust them nearly as much as Ian or Kalliah, but the promise of a new kind of bond tethering between us seemed right. It softened the jagged edges of a part of me I didn’t realize needed acceptance.
“This spot is secure, as there is no access save for the one we created ourselves, or up the stairs and through Lana’s room,” Ian said since we were all gathered in the safety of the garden. “All conversations about the Hidden Henchman should happen here, or out on the road if necessary.”
“Noted,” Storm said, nodding.
Kade shook his head once, too.
“Leif Ivans, he works in the kitchens and handles securing most of the food requests.” Ian turned and then pointed at Corbin. “Corbin Jansen. He works in the stables, securing transport, and serves as the point person receiving all requests and letters for aid through a network I’m not sure even I’ve deciphered yet.”
Corbin’s lip twitched as he shook Storm and Kade’s hands.
“Technically, you met at the last drop, sort of,” I said. “Informally.”
Leif and Corbin readily accepted Kade and Storm, making me wonder if Ian had already let them know we needed more muscle. Which meant my buy-in was the only hurdle left to conquer.
“Lan?” Ian asked.
“Right, well, thanks to Fredrich’s blabbering during his time with me, Starhaven seems to be the place where the darkness has lingered the longest,” I said. “However, it’s also the place with the least issues. There are no Hidden Henchman requests, something he quickly pointed out, and his business is thriving.”
“How does that make sense? Others are falling easily, and they withstand it the longest with no dip in his coffers?” Storm asked, frowning.
“Exactly,” I said. “I think it’s a fairly good place to start looking for answers.”
“It’s only a day's ride from the drop site at Logan Lake,” Corbin said. “You could go straight to Starhaven and return from there. One and a half days out, one day back. It’d be a hard ride, but doable.”
“Leaving us more vulnerable if we’re attacked, given the exhaustion of the horses,” Ian added. “Though, there may not be a choice.”
I swiveled my gaze between my companions to gauge their responses.
“How soon until the goods are prepared?” Ian asked.
Leif shrugged. “We’re all set. Just need to get the carriage out the day before and we'll be ready from there.”
“How do you do all of this with no one noticing?” Kade asked suddenly. “Is there so much surplus missing items don’t matter?”
“We’re strategic with when and how much we take. We store extra items in various places until we are able to meet letter requests,” I said. “We’ve been doing it for so long, it’s second nature.”
“And if you’re caught?”
“Technically, we’re stealing from the Crown,” Leif chimed in. “For Corbin and I, we’d be executed.”
He said it so casually. As if it weren’t an issue at all.
I gaped at Leif. For the first time, I realized just how loyal these men really were. They risked their lives on a plan I’d come up with haphazardly, perfected by Ian. He’d done it alongside them, with their input and help, but the risk to me was a scolding. The risk to them? I’d selfishly never considered it.
Neither Leif nor Corbin had asked for protection if anything were to go awry.
“I’d never let it happen,” I said, suddenly needing them to know I valued their trust.
“You do this, anyway?” Kade asked.
Leif’s gaze shifted to me as he spoke. “I believe in the future of Brookmere and the queen who I bow to even as a princess.”
A lump formed in my throat, listening to Leif proclaim his devotion in a way no one outside of Ian and Kalliah ever had. In a way which sparked that deep-rooted fire inside of me. The one I felt when I knew people were suffering. The reason I wanted to be the Hidden Henchman.
That same spark had driven me to strengthen myself, to train and break from the shell I’d become after enduring years of torture with Andras.
Kade’s eyes locked on mine. The way he watched, Fates, it rattled me. My chest tightened, waiting to hear his response. Finally, he grinned, clearly making a decision. “Then I suppose I’ll bow as well.”
He took a step toward me, undeterred by the others observing. “I gave you my word to keep your secret, but I give you my sword for whatever else you need, Little Rebel.”
“Thank you.” My heart skipped a beat.
Ian studied Kade through his theatrics, undoubtedly picking apart anything he could to give him a sense of their honesty.
“Well, then.” Corbin cleared his throat. “I must return.”
“I’ll give you the date of the next drop by sunset tomorrow,” Ian said. He clasped his hand against Leif’s arm, who followed after Corbin, leaving Ian and I with Kade and Storm.
“Not to state the obvious problem, but how are we going to get nearly three days away with the princess and two contenders?” Storm questioned.
“That’s where Kalliah will come in. We need to work out a few final details. All you need to do is wait for the sign we’re leaving.” I waved my hand in front of me, a silent gesture indicating the men should use the staircase to move along.
Shockingly, Kade obeyed without any snide remarks.
Once we ascended the balcony stairs, silence fell over the group. Ian ushered Kade and Storm out, leaving behind only myself and Kalliah, who had been patiently waiting for us to return.
We gathered back in the sitting area, when Lucien bounded in, breathing into the fireplace, and lighting a fire.
“No,” I groaned. “It’s too hot for fire.”
His eyes fell at my rejection. “Elisabeth will want one, though, she always needs your help.” With a scratch under his chin, he ran from our meeting, undoubtedly off to sneak to Elisabeth’s chambers. How the animal came and went in the palace without needing us to let him into rooms was beyond me, but I’d stopped questioning the animals of Brookmere long ago.
I refocused on Kalliah and filled her in on our plans. The tension in her face grew more taught as I finished. “Wonderful, so now we trick an entire castle about where three of the most important Fae in these trials are for two and a half days.”
“Oh, come on now.” I grinned. “What’s life without a little adventure?”
“Not a life with you, I can promise you that.” She massaged her temples. “Leave it to me.”
“I love you,” I whispered as she flung her hand over her shoulder at me and exited my chambers.
That night alone in my room, I replayed the afternoon, the words Leif had said, and the camaraderie we’d suddenly found ourselves building with others outside of our small world.
The spark inside of me flared again, but this time, I could name it.
Hope.
For the first time since things spiraled out of control with the Hidden Henchman, the dark ones, and the marriage trials starting, I felt hope again. I slept soundly for the first time in weeks. A sleep free from the nightmares so desperately trying to plague me.