Chapter 11 #2
‘If and when I need help, I will hire my own assistant,’ she shot back.
‘If you need any help, I can chip in,’ Nina offered.
Sierra shook her head. ‘No.’
‘I have time,’ Nina argued. ‘And if me helping you out occasionally means you get to take a day off every now and then—’
‘I don’t want to take a day off.’ Sierra slipped out from under the blanket and picked up her heels.
‘I like working,’ she said again. And because her tone was tight and impatient, neither of which Nina deserved, she added, ‘And you’re not using me as an excuse to procrastinate getting back to acting.
I’ve seen the pile of screenplays your agent has sent you – most of which are still unopened.
’ When Nina’s shoulders slumped, Sierra softened her tone. ‘It’s time, Nina.’
Nina crinkled her nose. ‘Drat.’
Nina had stirred some waves in Hollywood with her sexual assault allegations, and even though she had taken a year off to deal with the fallout, they all knew she was avoiding going back in case none of the big producers wanted to work with her anymore.
Which was bullshit. She was the Nina Keller.
She could get any role she wanted – but convincing her of that was proving difficult.
‘Actually,’ Sierra added as an idea sparked, ‘we’re going to have family screenplay readings. Start attacking the pile.’
‘I like that idea,’ Markus seconded. ‘We can each pick a role to act, make it fun.’
‘Guys, you don’t have to do that. I’ll read the screenplays.’ Nina looked back at Maverick, her eyes pleading.
But Mav, who had been completely silent through their conversation, only smiled, said, ‘I think Sierra’s onto something.’
‘Traitor!’
Instead of teasing her back, Maverick held out one hand for Nina, and when she stood and went to him, he pulled her onto his lap. ‘It’s okay to be scared.’
‘I’m pregnant. I can’t take the work anyway.’
‘You are pregnant. And maybe you’ll be showing by the time filming for these movies start, but I think you should look at the screenplays, get into the habit again. I won’t let you give up on your dreams, Nina.’
‘And once the baby comes, you have the whole family here to help you,’ Sierra added. ‘And plenty of resources to hire full-time help to travel with you for filming if that’s what you want.’
‘And you have me,’ Maverick reminded her. ‘I can come with you if you need me.’
Sierra blanched at that. She supposed she hadn’t thought about it yet, but Mav was the obvious choice if Nina needed help with their baby while on location for filming.
He’d want to be there. A year ago, she wouldn’t have worried.
Benji would have taken over seamlessly. But now …
Hunt Ranch hadn’t recovered financially from their closures yet, and hiring a new ranch manager was out of the question.
When a slash of anxiety threatened, Sierra took a deep breath and reminded herself that they had a year to figure it out, a year for their finances to stabilize again.
And they would. Bookings were solid, courtesy of their resident celebrity. Everything was looking tentatively good. It would just take time to haul them back out of the little hole they’d landed in.
‘And Poppy?’ Nina asked.
‘She’ll come with us.’ Mav shrugged. ‘I’ll have to look into any home-schooling requirements if we do that. But she’s young enough that it won’t set her back to travel for a few months out of the year, and we’ll both want to be with you and the baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to support you, Nina.’
Perhaps sensing that any arguments would be patiently countered, Nina whispered, ‘But what if they don’t want me anymore?’
Maverick kissed her gently, asked, ‘Nina, what if they do?’
Sierra’s heart melted. She might have her own battles to fight, but it was comforting to know that her brother, who had been through his fair share of trauma, had found that – with Nina.
Nina exhaled a big breath. ‘Okay. Let me take a look at the screenplays.’ She shrugged. ‘It’ll give me something to do when I can’t ride anymore.’
‘And tell Alison you’re pregnant,’ Markus suggested. ‘That way she can filter what she sends.’
‘But wedding tableware first,’ Sierra reminded her as she started towards the front door, heels in hand.
‘Hold up.’ Markus exaggeratedly looked her over from head to toe. ‘Is that the same fabulous outfit from yesterday?’
Sierra stopped at the door. Turned. ‘Yes.’
‘And?’ He snapped his fingers. ‘Details.’
Sierra thought through what to tell him, and settled on, ‘Remember that question you asked me – and I said I didn’t know?’
He nodded eagerly.
‘It wasn’t true. I know.’ She didn’t tell Markus that she still loved Benji. He knew what she was talking about. But she did add, ‘I don’t think it changes anything though.’
Markus smiled sadly. ‘Babe, it changes everything. And if you can’t admit that yet, that’s fine. But remember that one day you might look back and regret that you didn’t have the courage to reach out and take it.’
Aware that Maverick and Nina weren’t following the conversation, only looking back and forth between them, Sierra didn’t argue. She just shrugged and walked inside to shower and get ready for work.
She wasn’t in denial. Last night, she had slept in Benji’s arms and those old feelings of love and desire and safety had crept into her heart again, this time with a year of deprivation intensifying them. But the difference this time was that she, more than anyone, knew that love wasn’t enough.
Love didn’t stop bad things from happening. Love didn’t protect you from the world and its random cruelty. In fact, sometimes it was a suffocating reminder of everything you were trying to forget.
Sierra didn’t contemplate the night with Benji further. And she didn’t dally, even though it was Sunday. She reminded herself, You’re fine, and then she showered and changed, and was out the door again before the others had even come in from the porch.
In her office, she sat down and unlocked her computer, dived into the week’s spreadsheets with nothing on her mind but orders and budgets and payroll.
She was an expert at channelling her mind and cutting out distractions and unwanted thoughts, so, by the time Skye knocked on her door and said, ‘Do you have a moment?’ Sierra wasn’t shocked to see that the morning had come and gone while she’d been working.
She waved Skye in as she minimized the open window on her computer. ‘What can I do for you?’ she asked, and reached down one hand to stroke Bandit, who had walked around Sierra’s desk to sniff around.
In the back of her mind, she hoped that the wrangler wasn’t handing in her resignation.
With Mav out and Benji filling in temporarily, Hunt Ranch couldn’t afford to lose another employee at the barn.
And even though Skye was young – maybe in her mid-twenties – and relatively new to the horse world, she had been doing good work.
Skye took a seat in the plush leather chair opposite Sierra’s. She ran one hand through her short cap of hair and settled her direct, blue gaze on Sierra. ‘I was hoping to ask you for a favour?’
Leaning back in her chair, Sierra crossed one leg over the other and contemplated the other woman. Skye was beautiful. With her short, blonde hair and ice-blue eyes, she reminded Sierra of a cowgirl Tinkerbell. ‘I guess it depends on the favour,’ she replied eventually.
Skye leaned forward in her chair. She rested her elbows on her knees and loosely linked her hands. ‘There’s a rumour down at the barn that you run barrels – and could qualify for the NFR if you had a mind to.’
Sierra’s heart gave a little kick. Still, she remained calm.
‘That’s a bit of an exaggeration. Over three thousand women are members of the Women’s Professional Rodeo Association, and the National Finals Rodeo is only the top fifteen earners.
Besides, competing always took the joy out of barrel racing for me. ’
‘What is your fastest time on a standard course?’
‘Sixteen-eight-one.’
Skye’s mouth actually dropped open. ‘You ran a full pattern in under seventeen seconds?’
‘I did.’
‘On Ty?’
‘No. Ty’s fast on the straights, but he’s too big to take the barrels as tight as a smaller horse. I clocked that run on Diablo.’
‘That’s incredible.’
Because Sierra could feel that long-lost pride swelling, she cut it off. ‘As I said, I don’t compete. And you can’t accrue rodeo dollars and qualify if you don’t compete.’
‘Do you teach?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘My mare – Smoking Barrel. She can run. Like insanely fast.’ Skye’s voice filled with excitement just talking about her horse. ‘She’s borderline terrifying when I give her her head, and when I don’t, she fights me for it. She wants to go.’
‘Quarter Horse?’
‘Yeah.’
‘And … You want my help?’
‘I need your help.’ Skye cracked her knuckles. ‘I have the guts for it, but I can’t nail down the technique.’
‘Skye—’
‘One lesson,’ she begged. ‘One lesson, to tell me what I’m doing wrong, and then I can research how to fix it on my own.’
Sierra hated how tempted she was. There had been a time when she would have given anything to wrap up her office work an hour or two early so that she could run a few patterns before it got dark.
And now … after seeing Ty again, that old door had reopened even though she would have chosen to keep it shut tight. ‘Where are you losing time?’
‘I think we’re taking the barrels too wide. Smokey is kinda like Ty. She’s a devil on the straight. But she tries to avoid running near the barrel at all. It’s almost like she’s afraid she’s going to plough into it.’
‘Are you afraid she’s going to plough into it?’ Sierra asked. ‘Because a horse knows its feet, knows its speed. But if you’re in the saddle and she feels you tensing up or bracing – even slightly – she’s going to think there’s something to worry about.’
‘I guess I am,’ Skye admitted slowly. ‘She’s so fast. Sometimes I doubt that she’s going to slow and turn in time before running through the barrel.’
‘How’s her groundwork?’
‘Perfect.’
Sierra exhaled a huge breath. ‘How responsive is she to your leg?’
‘Exceptionally. I don’t use spurs at all; she doesn’t need them.’
Needing something to do with her hands, Sierra picked up a pile of paperwork and tapped the bottom of the stack on her desk, realigning every page. ‘I’ll stop by at four today, watch you run.’ When Skye grinned, Sierra added, ‘Once.’
Skye nodded. ‘We’ll be warm and ready to go by the time you get there.’ She pushed to a stand, called Bandit to her side with one click of her fingers as she moved towards the door.
‘Oh, and Skye?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Was Benji the one who told you to ask me for help?’
Skye looked genuinely confused. She shook her head. ‘No. I overheard a couple of the wranglers talking about how you used to race and figured you might know how to help me.’
‘One lesson – and no promises,’ Sierra said, ending the conversation.
Skye grinned. ‘See you out there.’