Chapter 20
Despite Sierra’s assurance that his father had hurt her accidentally, when the Sheriff called Benji to tell him that Silas was in a cell in the Santa Barbara Sheriff’s County Office, sleeping off the booze so that they could charge him with his third official DUI, Benji went down to the station.
He knew the way. After all, it wasn’t the first time he’d made this particular drive.
By the time he got there, the station was minutes from closing, but Benji only walked up to the counter, protected by a black glass screen, and said, ‘Evening, Patsy.’
The elderly officer behind the desk sighed. ‘Bob’s waiting for you in the back, Benji.’
‘Thanks.’ Benji tapped the desk once and then walked through to Sheriff Gaffrey’s office.
The Sheriff was a large, square-faced man who carried his two-hundred and seventy pounds like an ex-linebacker.
But his intimidating physicality was offset by kind eyes – and the fact that he’d let Benji and Mav off the hook for a few run-ins when they’d been teens.
Like the time they’d been caught trespassing when they’d snuck onto Harry Hornley’s land to rescue his old, abused dog from the man’s relentless beatings.
Or the barfight a drunk cowboy had started by groping a young woman at the bar, and that Benji and Mav had finished.
Despite the time of day, Bob looked up from a cup of coffee and sat back in his chair when Benji walked in. ‘Evenin’, Benji.’
‘Sheriff.’ Benji sat down and rested his forearms on his knees, exhausted. He didn’t make small talk. Only asked, ‘How bad is it?’
‘Bad. And given his history, he’s gonna serve some jail time this time around.’
Benji’s stomach twisted with sick resentment. ‘Good,’ he practically spat the words. ‘How long?’
‘Depends on what the DA can wrangle for him. Could be up to six months, and when he gets out, he probably won’t get his licence back for a while.
Knowing Sierra, she won’t want to push the assault charge, so he might only have a short probationary period and some DUI education programmes once he’s out. TBD.’
‘There’s nothing I can do to push the assault charge?’
Bob raised his eyebrows.
‘He touched her, Bob.’ When the Sheriff only nodded, Benji added, ‘When it was my mom or me, it was hard enough, you know. She refuses to leave, and I accepted a long time ago that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want saving.
I got out as soon as possible, and I left that life behind.
But this time, he went too far. He touched her,’ he repeated, his hands curling into fists.
‘I’ll mention public endangerment or something in any plea negotiations. It won’t change much, but it’ll put a pin in the jail time.’
Benji nodded. ‘Mind if I see him one last time?’ Because it would be a last time.
The forgiveness he’d routinely reached inside of himself to find for his father was gone.
He’d used it all up. There was nothing left.
Not even pity. The excuses Benji had always used for the old drunk had turned to dust in his heart.
‘Of course.’ Bob cleared his throat. ‘Your mom’s in there right now.’
That made Benji’s chest ache with dread, regret and hopelessness. But he brought Sierra’s face, freshly bruised, to the front of his mind, and he powered forward. ‘Two birds, one stone.’
The Sheriff nodded sadly. ‘Go on then.’ Maybe it was Benji’s face, devoid of any emotion, or the way his fists were still contrarily coiled with rage, but the Sheriff added, ‘He’s not worth a beating, Benji. You say goodbye. And then you go live your life.’
Benji nodded stiffly at the warning. He stalked out of the Sheriff’s office and down the hall to where the three little holding cells sat.
It brought bile to his throat to see them there, his mother and father.
They stood close, holding hands through the cell bars.
His father’s face was repentant, but the facade was ruined by the alcohol bloated features and eyes still unfocused from drink.
His mother, her small body brittle, wasting away like a stone tossed into a raging river, was frail and weeping.
Their whispering stopped the moment they heard him and looked up.
His father’s eyes flickered with relief. But his voice was hard and disdainful when he said, ‘’Bout damn time. Pay my bail so I can get out of here, boy.’
His mother winced, but she offered Benji a pleading smile.
‘I’m not here to pay your bail,’ Benji replied. ‘I’m here to say goodbye.’
‘The fuck you talkin’ about?’ Silas demanded. Gripping the bars with both hands, he rattled the cell as if he could break through. His eyes bulged in his face. His cheeks streaked red with rage.
Used to his father’s theatrics – alternating violence and sorrowful apologies – Benji merely stayed silent. Walking to the low bench by the wall opposite the cell, he sat down and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket so that his father couldn’t see the anger roiling in him.
He waited in complete silence until his father’s vicious, hateful cursing turned towards pleading. ‘Come on, Benny, do your old man one last favour.’
Benji had thought it would be easy, but as he sat there, looking at the people who had given him life, all he felt was tormented.
While most of his childhood had been bad – sometimes even violent – there had been glimmers of good too.
A few happy memories with his father that included a hot day fishing and a Christmas where Silas had gifted Benji a red bicycle.
A few weeks later, his dad had sold the bike to pay for the gap his drinking had put in the rent money, but still, the day Benji had received it had been one of the best in his life.
And his mom … Benji had tried too many times to save her, and had his heart broken for the effort, to even go there now.
But through his own pain, he thought about the Hunts.
Mav and Sierra hadn’t had an easy go of it.
They’d lost their parents. Mav had been left by Shannon and had become a single dad with zero experience.
And Sierra had lost Baby Girl. And yet, through it all, they kept going.
They kept working, kept trying. They were still such good people, and that was all due to Ava and James and the way they’d raised their children.
Benji wasn’t sure what it said about him, but as he looked at his parents, all he felt was disappointment and worse – dislike.
‘I’m not paying your bail, Silas. I’m washing my hands of you. Finally.’ He turned cold eyes on his mother, whose tears flowed openly, and though it about killed him, he added, ‘Of both of you.’
His mother didn’t even speak, only closed her eyes briefly in silent acceptance.
‘The fuck you on about?’ Silas demanded. ‘I’m your sire! Do you know what I’ve sacrificed for you over the years?’
Benji actually laughed at that. ‘Nothing. You sacrificed nothing for me,’ he said slowly.
And as a man who would have given anything – anything – to have been able to love and protect and spoil his own child, he couldn’t understand it, couldn’t understand how a parent could be so unashamedly useless.
‘The Sheriff thinks you’re going to serve time this round, and I’m in full support of that. ’
Silas roared. He attacked the bars like a wild animal, pounding and thrashing to only his own detriment.
‘Benji—’ his mom began.
‘No,’ he cut her off. ‘I’m sorry, Mom. He hurt Sierra this time. And that’s a line nobody steps over and comes back from.’
His mother’s gaze snapped to Silas. ‘What did you do?’
‘Nothing!’ He spat. ‘The bitch walked into a scuffle and caught a hand for it.’
Before he did anything rash, before he hurt his mom further, Benji said, ‘We’re done. Don’t contact me. Either of you. Don’t call me. And do not go to Hunt Ranch.’ He looked from one to the other, his father so bitter, his mother so sad. ‘Do you understand?’
‘What do you think you’re gonna do when the Hunts tire of you hanging on, huh?’ Silas cackled. ‘You think that little bitch is gonna keep you long? She already got rid of your kid—’
‘Silas.’ The single word from his mother, issued in quiet horror, shut Silas up.
His father actually had the audacity to look ashamed.
Benji just smiled through the heartache. ‘If you ever find the strength to leave him, Mom, I’ll always give you a place to go. But until then …’
Pale-faced and tired, she nodded. With her back to her husband, she mouthed, ‘I love you.’
And then she just stood there and watched as her only child walked away.
Benji kept his head down and waved half-heartedly at Bob on his way out. He climbed into his truck, carefully backed out, and turned towards home.
As much as he tried to ignore the hateful words, his father’s accusations dug deep and settled in, uprooting all those insecurities he’d kept locked away and giving them free rein to run rampant through him.
That couple – the drunk and his downhearted wife – were where he came from. He had none of the Hunt’s strength or love or work ethic in his blood; he’d just been raised with it by James and Ava. And there was a terrible, terrible fear within him that Sierra knew it too.
Before, he’d wanted their baby as much as to be her dad as to guarantee that Sierra would always be in his life.
And God had just laughed at that and taken his guarantee away anyway.
So, now he was a man who had nothing but love to give a woman who came to him with everything else – money and family and a legacy.
Benji had almost talked himself into a full-blown depression by the time he arrived home.
But then he pulled through the Hunt Ranch gates.
The sun was setting. The ranch’s green hills were covered in a gold sky.
The frigid air nipped in through his open window, filling him with new vitality.
The horses, grazing peacefully, settled his heart.
And when he pulled up to the ranch house and saw everyone gathered on the porch, waiting for him, he exhaled a huge breath of relief. Hope filled his chest.
Family could be made.
When he’d forgotten that as a child or a young man, Ava had made sure to remind him.
Although he hadn’t been big on words, James had quietly shown him.
But now with them gone, Benji realized that he’d have to have the courage to remind himself – and to fight for it.
For them. Because the Hunts were his family.
They were the only place he’d ever wanted to belong since the age of five, when Mav had brought him home for the first time and James had put him on a horse and a very-pregnant Ava had cheered him on.
Since Ava had baked them fresh cookies that had tasted like baking soda – and had been the best thing he’d ever put in his mouth.
Nina held Poppy back while Maverick and Sierra approached him as he climbed out of the truck. While Mav looked calm and ready for anything, Sierra looked mad as hell.
She slotted herself under his arm and snuggled in. ‘What happened? Are you okay?’
He returned the squeeze and kissed the side of her head. But because they needed to know, he said, ‘I walked. Officially. If they ever come here – either of them – you let me know after you call the police. They’re not welcome.’
Sierra stilled. ‘Benji, your mom—’
‘She’s made her choice. I can’t help her as long as she stays with him, and she knows that. I’ve given her too many chances, and I’m only enabling her at this point.’
Mav nodded solemnly. He knew the worst of it, those things Benji had never had the courage to tell Sierra in case she pitied him, or worse, was disgusted by him and where he came from. ‘What do you need, man?’
Benji smiled though it cost him. He shifted so that Sierra was in front of him, wrapped his arms around her, and rested his chin on her shoulder, seeking comfort from her warm body against his. ‘I have everything I need right here.’
Because it was expected, Mav rolled his eyes. But he couldn’t quite hide his smile.
Sierra reached back one hand to stroke the hair at the nape of Benji’s neck. ‘Yes, you do,’ she affirmed. ‘We’re your family, Benji. And we better be enough for you.’ She turned in his arms and placed her lips lovingly on his. ‘Because you’re everything to us.’
Sierra knew that Benji had pulled her in front of him to try and hide that old insecurity from her. But she didn’t have to look at his eyes to know it was there.
She suffered no illusions. Benji had done it for her – maybe not cutting off Silas but certainly saying goodbye to his mom. He didn’t give up on people – ever. Except, apparently, if Sierra was tangled between them.
‘How about we crack some beers?’ Mav asked. ‘We can grill some steaks, throw a salad together?’
‘Yeah.’ Benji squeezed his arms tighter around Sierra, keeping her close. ‘Sounds good.’
Mav nodded, and when neither Sierra nor Benji made a move, he turned to go inside. ‘I’ll fire up the grill.’
It was only once her brother was back on the porch that Sierra turned in Benji’s arms, and looking up at him, asked, ‘What can I do?’
He shook his head. ‘Love me, feed me, never leave me.’
The old Garfield line was something they’d said Before. Before it had been funny. Now, it was far too serious. But in that moment, she couldn’t deny him. He needed her. ‘I promise.’ Reaching up, Sierra brushed his dishevelled hair out of his face. ‘Thank you.’
He didn’t ask her what for. They both knew. He gripped her chin in one big hand, said, ‘You’re mine, Sierra. Nobody hurts you and walks away afterwards.’ His hand shifted, his fingers brushing over the small mark that was left from the backhand. ‘Let’s go see to this.’
‘It’s fine,’ Sierra insisted. ‘I iced it.’
‘I have some Arnica in my saddle bag—’
‘Benji.’ Sierra momentarily rested her face in his hand. ‘Stop. I’m fine.’ Turning, she placed a kiss on his rough palm. ‘Let’s go get a beer. Relax.’
He exhaled deeply. ‘Yeah.’
But when he would have walked at her side, Sierra scooted to his back and jumped. He caught her – of course he caught her. And as she laughed, he gave her a piggyback to the front porch.
Poppy saw them coming. She ran up to them, and by the time she reached them she was jumping up and down. ‘My turn! My turn!’
Sierra laughed, but she slid off Benji’s back, said, ‘I’ll go fetch you a beer’, as he crouched down so that Poppy could scramble onto his back.
And right before she went inside, Sierra turned and watched them for a few moments. Poppy was laughing maniacally as Benji did his best bronco, jokingly trying to throw her off his back even as his hands held her safely in place.
Her heart swelled.
Her womb gave one long pull of need.
‘Shit.’ The single word left her lips quietly, but Nina and Markus both heard it.
Nina snort-laughed.
Markus smiled sadly. ‘It’s about damn time, babe.’