Chapter 25 #2
Ava levered up onto one elbow. ‘Did you ever think our babies would grow up so quickly?’
‘No. There were days I wished it would come sooner,’ he said, making her laugh, ‘but no. Christ, Ave, time just doesn’t give a shit anymore.’
‘Maybe not.’ She traced the planes of his handsome face with her index finger. ‘But we have everything we ever wanted.’
‘More,’ he agreed. ‘Those kids … They just make me so damn proud. All three of them.’
‘I know.’ But because she could see the frown pinching his brow, and because she understood that Sierra would always be his only little girl, she leaned down and kissed him, whispered, ‘He’ll be good for her, James.’
Even though she knew he would keep worrying until the front door creaked open again, James didn’t argue. He sighed, said, ‘God knows he’s gonna have to be a patient one.’
Ava’s laugh was light and easy. ‘She has a certain wild side …’
‘Wonder who she gets that from.’
‘I have absolutely no idea,’ Ava replied innocently. But wanting to distract him, she shifted so that she could straddle him. His hands rose to her hips, moving her exactly where he wanted her. Bringing her lips a hairsbreadth from his, she whispered, ‘I love you, James Hunt.’
Unable to stay even an inch from her without tasting her, even after all the years they’d been together, he kissed her first, deeply, replied, ‘In this life and the next.’
He’d had to leave. Benji had watched Sierra as she’d climbed out of Jade’s truck and strolled across the front lawn in those impossibly tight jeans and thigh-high boots, her coat adding drama to her already sexy outfit, and all he’d been able to think was: Mine.
He’d watched her greet her family – her parents, for Christ’s sake – and instead of calm and collected like he’d promised he’d be, he’d felt as if they could all see the trickle of sweat sliding down his back and the shake of need in his hands.
And then she’d kissed him, and he’d known, with certainty, that she was done waiting.
He’d wanted to give her longer, time to do all the things she wanted to do, so that when she came to him, she had no regrets. He’d wanted to be a gentleman; the man James Hunt had raised him to be.
But Sierra made it so goddamn hard.
Even after a distracting game of cards with the ranch hands and a frigid shower, his stomach was a knot of hot, heavy need, and knowing that he wouldn’t get any sleep, Benji grabbed a beer out of the fridge and ambled down to the barn.
There was something special about the barn at night, especially in the winter, when the air outside was comparatively cold.
Benji slid open the heavy barn door and slipped inside before rolling it shut again behind him.
The dim lighting was soothing. The faint rustle of the horses bedding down calmed him to the marrow.
The smell – of mingled animals, manure and hay – was one he’d always associated with safety.
This was his haven.
As a boy, when Silas had gone on a drinking binge and his mom had been at work and unable to protect him, the barn was where Mav had hidden him when Benji had begged him not to tell James and Ava.
As a teen, the barn was where he’d learned the value of hard work and a job well done.
As a man, it was the one place that reminded him that, despite where he’d come from, he did have a home.
He popped the cap off the beer, took a deep swig from the bottle, and then placed it on the picnic table so that he could fetch his saddle and bridle from the tack room. If he wasn’t going to sleep, he may as well clean and oil his tack.
When he came back out, the saddle in both hands, the bridle looped over his shoulder, he saw Sierra. She was sitting at the picnic table, huddled in her wool-lined denim jacket and drinking his beer. She watched him approach in silence, those big, dark eyes telling him everything he needed to know.
This was it.
There was no going back.
His heart jackhammered in his chest. His hands went clammy with the need to touch, to take. And yet all he could manage was a lame, ‘Hey.’
He put the saddle down on the table, draped the bridle over the horn.
Sierra tipped her head like a cat, judging some inferior species, and when he just stood there, lost for words, drowning in lust, she sighed and pushed to her feet.
Misinterpreting his hesitation, she lashed out.
‘I wasn’t expecting you to be here.’ She moved past him, her hips swinging with every step.
‘I just came to get the truck keys. Don’t want to wake up my parents by taking one of theirs …
’ So saying, she walked to where they kept all the keys for the Hunt Ranch work vehicles.
She took the set for the Jeep off the hook.
‘I have a date with Kyle Channing. You remember him, Benji? He was a few years behind you in school?’
Benji went from stupid with lust to raging mad in a single second. He caught her by the wrist as she tried to move past him again. ‘Do not fucking push me, Princess.’
Her eyes blazed. ‘You might not be ready for me, Benji. But I assure you, Kyle is.’ Leaning forward, she whispered, ‘I’m not waiting another day for you to catch up.’
‘On that, we are agreed.’
Her face registered her surprise.
‘Nothing to say to that?’
‘But you …’
‘You don’t hold other men over my head,’ Benji warned. ‘If we do this, you give me the same goddamn respect I’ve always given you.’ He released her wrist, furious with her, furious with himself.
‘Benji—’
‘No.’ He paced away, tried to find his calm even as he imagined another man touching her. Fucking Kyle.
‘Benji …’
He turned, ready to fight it out with her. But instead of anger, Sierra’s face was flushed with something that looked oddly like nerves.
As he watched, she slowly unzipped her jacket and shrugged out of it, exposing a siren red getup that looked more like a bathing suit than a shirt. The contraption pushed her tits up high. Her nipples were visibly hard beneath the flimsy fabric, making his mouth water.
‘I’m sorry, but I’m not gonna wait much longer. And I would rather it was you,’ she said quietly.
Reaching down, she yanked off her boots. But when her fingers found the button of her jeans, Benji finally found his voice. ‘Stop.’ He wanted to be the one to undress her.
She wavered. Doubt fluttered across her features, shaming him.
How could she ever second guess that he wanted her?
Christ, he was in love with her. He had been for years.
Without a word, he disappeared into the tack room and then came back out immediately, this time carrying two sleeping bags that they rotated for medical overnights.
It wasn’t the Ritz, but in Benji’s mind, the ranch house was as out of the question as the Wrangler’s Cabin, and even if he was ashamed by how little he could give her, she needed to understand what she was getting into.
He had some savings, but not enough. Not even close. Yet.
Sierra smiled when she saw it. As if she knew his every thought, she said, ‘I don’t need frills, Benji. Just you.’
He laughed. ‘If you think this is frills, we might just make a go of it yet.’ But he held out his hand, and when she took it, he linked his fingers with hers, binding them together.
He guided her to the feed room, unlocked the door, and ushered her inside before closing them in relative privacy again.
The room was a huge addition they’d put on the barn the year before.
On one side, various feed and supplements for the horses were neatly contained and stored.
On the other, square bales of hay and alfalfa were stacked to the ceiling, waiting to be used.
Benji used the hay hook to form a makeshift bed out of eight bales. When he was done, he spread the open sleeping bags over the platform, cushioning it as much as he could.
He took one deep breath and turned to face Sierra. ‘I know it’s not much.’ He thought about the college sophomores she’d taunted him with last summer and felt embarrassed because a college dorm at NYU had to be better than a bed of hay. ‘But it’s what I have right now.’
Sierra didn’t hesitate; she took a running leap and jumped into his arms. Her weight knocked him backwards, and even though Benji could have easily counteracted it, he didn’t.
He caught her, let her body take them down, so that he was flat on his back on the makeshift bed and she was straddling his hips.
‘I know exactly who you are, Benji.’
‘Oh?’
She nipped his chin playfully, whispered, ‘Mine,’ in his ear.
Benji’s heart took a physical hit. It mattered, he realized. It mattered that she knew him intimately, knew what he had and what he lacked, and was choosing him anyway. And still, he had to warn her, ‘If we do this, that’s it. There’s nobody else for either of us.’
She nodded.
‘I need the words, Sierra.’
‘Only you.’
Everything settled. Calmed. ‘Only you,’ he repeated.
Helpless to resist, he reared into a seated position so that he could start on her clothes between long, searching kisses.
His fingers slid under the thin straps of her top and slowly shifted them off her shoulders, revealing tantalizing inches of her flawlessly soft skin.
And when he worked the garment down to her waist, exposing her heavy breasts to his gaze for the first time, the sound that left his lips was a rough, almost agonized groan.
He cupped her with his hands and rolled his thumbs over her nipples. ‘Fuck, Sierra. I’ve needed to see you like this for so long, baby.’
Her breath hitched. The sound was quick and surprised, maybe nervous.
Wanting to soothe her, he asked, ‘Do you know how many nights I’ve dreamt of you?’ Leaning down, he circled one nipple with his tongue and then gently sucked the hard point into his mouth.
Sierra moaned and ground her hips over his erection. Her hands found his hair and gripped, pulling him back so that she could crush her mouth to his even as she guided his hand back to her breast.
Benji was mad for her. His blood ran hot. His lust was crazed, leaving his body in frenzied bursts of energy. But because it was their first time together, he asked, ‘What do you want, Sierra?’
She paused. Her face flushed with an uncharacteristic blush. She averted her gaze. ‘I … I’m not sure exactly.’
Benji stilled. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I may not have been entirely honest … Before.’ Her arms rose to cross her breasts, confusing him further. Sierra wasn’t self-conscious. Where was the wildling who had taunted him for years? Where was the woman who had hounded him until he’d had no choice but to fall asleep thinking about her?
He tipped her face up, forcing her gaze to his – and saw everything in those quicksand eyes. ‘You’re a virgin?’ he asked gently.
‘I wasn’t going to tell you,’ she admitted with a small shake of her head. ‘But now, I’m kinda nervous.’
When she averted her gaze, Benji didn’t let her get away with it. He took her chin in his hand, and when she bravely forced her eyes back to his, he asked, ‘Why nervous?’
‘Because you’re my first …’
‘Last.’
‘What?’ She frowned.
‘I’m your first, sure. But I’m your last too. So, really, there’s no need to be nervous. We have a lifetime to learn what you like, Sierra.’
Her smile came slowly, like a sunrise. But once it spread, it was so bright, so full of joy. ‘Say it out loud.’
‘Are you sure you’re ready?’
She threw back her head and shouted, ‘Yes!’ making him grin. She caught her bottom lip with her teeth as she waited.
Benji took her hand in his. He kissed her bare ring finger, sealing the promise until he could afford to make good on it. And then he gave her those three words for the first time. ‘I love you, Sierra. You’re mine. Only ever mine.’