Chapter 25
They hadn’t talked since Benji had dropped her at the airport to go back to New York, and although Sierra had thought about him ceaselessly over the past semester, she hadn’t texted or called because she wanted to prove – to herself, but also to him – that she could live a little before they took that step.
She had even gone as far as to date a few other boys – and boys they were when compared to Benji.
Sierra had shared a few harmless kisses with each of them, but she’d quickly and casually ended any attempts at anything more.
Benji would be her first.
She’d always known that.
Now, as she stood at the Santa Barbara Airport’s pickup kerb, waiting for Jade, the winter air washed over her face. It was so fresh compared to New York. So sweet.
And cold, she thought. But that was because she’d dressed with Benji in mind instead of the weather.
Her black, high-rise skinny jeans may as well have been painted on.
Beneath them, she wore a thong bodysuit that rose up her torso in blood red and ended in a low cut, making her breasts look fantastic.
She’d paired the skin-tight outfit with velvet, thigh-high boots in jet black and a faux fur coat.
Sierra could admit that the outfit was killer, but she still laughed and, opening her coat, did a little shoulder shimmy when Jade honked her horn as she pulled up to the kerb. Jade leaned her head out the open window of her truck and wolf-whistled.
They met in a huge hug, two best friends who’d been separated by fate but who had stayed close by choice. ‘I missed you!’ Sierra exclaimed and set Jade back so that she could look at her.
Her friend hadn’t changed. Jade was as short as Sierra was tall.
But even standing at five-three, Jade never let her diminutive size dictate her personality, which was larger than life, loud and rowdy.
She’d cut her black hair so that it swung in a sleek line at her chin.
Come rain or shine, she wore her Wrangler jeans, boots and ball cap, and today was no exception.
‘You look amazing,’ Sierra said sincerely.
‘Maybe. But you look like you’ve got an agenda,’ Jade teased.
‘You know it.’ Sierra chucked her bag in the back and climbed into the passenger seat while Jade moved back around to the driver’s side. ‘You think it’s too much?’
‘No. Benji’s eyes are going to pop out of his head.’ Jade cackled brightly. ‘I can’t wait to watch him squirm.’
Sierra cranked the radio so that Chuck Wicks crooned ‘Stealing Cinderella’ through the speakers. ‘How’s he been? It’s been hell not texting him this semester.’
‘Um, as far as I can tell, he’s good,’ Jade replied distractedly and looked over her left shoulder as she merged onto the highway.
‘I haven’t seen much of him since you left, but only because I haven’t really had a reason to go to Hunt Ranch.
Last time I saw him was at Wiley’s a few weeks ago – but I already told you about that. ’
She had. The text had read: Ran into Benji at Wiley’s. He didn’t even say hi, just asked if I’d heard from you. LOL.
‘I’m done waiting.’
Jade slanted a mock-surprised look over Sierra’s outfit. ‘No shit?’
Sierra groaned. ‘I’m nervous, Jade. Like really nervous.’ She placed one hand over her anxious stomach, as if the added weight could calm her in the slightest.
Jade waved away her concern. ‘It can’t be worse than my first time. Last time I saw Billy he literally started running in the other direction.’
Sierra sniggered. Jade had lost her virginity in Billy Renshaw’s pickup truck after he’d scored the winning touchdown at his high school homecoming game.
It might have been less memorable for Jade had Billy not parked illegally and caused the cops to knock on his truck window mid-thrust …
Cops that had then taken him into the station when they realized he was with the underaged Sheriff’s daughter.
It had taken Jade three hours to talk her dad out of filing charges, another two for her to convince him to let poor Billy go. And even though they had both escaped relatively unscathed, the story had made the dinner table rounds in their small community.
‘I hate being inexperienced,’ Sierra admitted. ‘Especially because I know Benji’s not.’
‘Are you kidding? Having sex for the first time with a guy who actually knows what he’s doing is highly recommended.
And it won’t just be with an experienced guy.
It’ll be with Benji. Who you’ve been in love with for, like, ever.
’ Jade turned her blinker on and switched lanes. ‘I promise, it’ll be no big deal.’
Sierra smiled and changed the topic. But as she and Jade caught up on the past three months apart, Sierra thought that finally being with Benji wouldn’t be no big deal.
Being with Benji would be the start of something big and beautiful, and the certainty of that was what was making her so nervous.
It wouldn’t be a quick hook-up like Jade and Billy.
It would be the beginning of a relationship, one that would occur over some distance for at least another two years, but possibly longer, as Sierra finished school and tried to get some work experience.
Because she didn’t want to wait any longer.
She didn’t think she could have even if she had been prepared to.
She just had to convince Benji of that too.
They chatted the whole way home, and by the time Jade pulled her truck through the Hunt Ranch gates it was nearing ten p.m.
Despite the late hour, everyone was up and waiting for her to get back. As Sierra hauled her bag out of the truck, she saw them there, standing on the porch. Mav, her mom and dad, and Benji.
Sierra dumped her bag on the steps and walked straight into her mom’s open arms.
Ava laughed and squeezed Sierra tightly. ‘Hi, baby girl.’
‘Mom.’ Sierra buried her face against Ava and the familiar feeling of home.
Ava stepped back first. She brought both hands to Sierra’s face.
‘Look at you. So beautiful.’ When she started tearing up, she shook her head and waved her hands in the air by her eyes.
‘Sorry. I’m just so happy you’re home. I have all my babies under one roof again.
’ Her mom turned back to the house. ‘I have some grilled cheeses on the go. Figured you and Jade might want a snack, and if you don’t, Mav and Benji sure as heck will. ’
‘I could eat a horse, Mrs H,’ Jade said, and followed Ava. Their lively chatter faded through the house as they disappeared inside.
Mav moved forward. He gave her a one-armed hug, picked up her bag, and then carried it inside without a single word.
‘Dad.’ Sierra moved in and gave her dad the same big hug.
‘Welcome home, Si.’ James looked at her, and Sierra tried not to squirm under his knowing gaze.
If he had anything to say about the way she was dressed or, more specifically, who she was dressed for, he chose not to.
Instead, he gave her upper arms one last squeeze, said, ‘It’s good to have you back. ’
‘It’s good to be back.’
‘See you in there.’
She didn’t dare look at Benji until the door slapped shut behind her dad, but Sierra had been brutally aware of his gaze on her the entire time she’d been greeting her family.
Finally alone, she raised her eyes to his and smiled when she saw those same telltale nerves in him. ‘Hi.’
He wore his faded jeans, still grimy from the workday, a black shirt pulled taut over muscle, and his Hyer riding boots with spurs he’d forgotten to take off. His blond hair stuck out from beneath a 6666’s ball cap. His green eyes drank her in.
He didn’t say anything.
He walked to her, cradled her face in his big hands, and lowered his forehead to hers in a gesture that was so tender it brought tears of relief to her eyes. Her previous anxiety vanished; he would know how to make her feel good. He always did.
Sierra gripped his wrists. Rising onto her toes, she placed her lips on his, but it was Benji who shifted, Benji who coaxed her lips open and swept into her mouth like a man who’d gone without for far too long.
The kiss spun on until her head swam with it and her legs were unsteady beneath her. His familiar scent wrapped around her like some heady elixir, fuelling her desire. His hands, so gentle, stayed on her face.
Sierra released a frustrated moan.
The sound seemed to snap through Benji. He let her go abruptly and took a big step back. His chest heaved with the force of every breath.
Sierra raised one shaky hand to her swollen lips. ‘I missed you.’
‘I missed you too, Si. So damn much.’ But he didn’t try and kiss her again. He peered past her, towards his truck almost as if he was eager to be gone.
Sierra tried not to internalize it. There was so much she wanted to tell him, so much she wanted to hear, but because she had the entirety of winter break, she tried for patience, asked, ‘Are you coming in?’
‘Ah … No. I have some things I need to wrap up at the barn. Go.’ He shucked his head in the direction of the front door. ‘Spend the time with your family. We’ll catch up tomorrow.’
‘Oh.’ Sierra barely managed to hide her disappointment. ‘Okay.’
She watched him walk away, stayed on the porch until he’d driven off in his truck, and then promptly decided: Nope.
Still, because she did genuinely want to see her family, she waited. She ate her mom’s soggy grilled cheese and chatted non-stop about school and everything she’d been up to in New York.
It wasn’t until Jade had left and everyone else had turned in for the night that she made her move.
She replaced her thigh-high boots with her scuffed riding ones and her faux fur jacket with her wool-lined denim.
She crept down the stairs and, being painstakingly careful to minimize the noise from the creaky front door, let herself out and into the night.
Upstairs, Ava nestled closer to James in their bed as his fingers ran up and down her bare arm. ‘Not fixing that door was the smartest thing we ever did.’
He huffed out a laugh.