Chapter 27
Pregnant? My stomach plummeted to the floor and my heart pounded.
I hoped at first that I’d misheard but Maddie breaking down sobbing told me I hadn’t.
As Clemmie beat a hasty retreat, I shuffled across the bed and wrapped my arms round Maddie, holding her as her body shook, forcing my own tears back because, right now, I needed to be strong.
‘You’re not mad with me?’ Maddie asked, pulling away and grabbing a tissue.
‘I’m relieved you’ve told me. When’s the baby due?’
‘January.’
‘January the what?’
Maddie shrugged.
‘Why don’t you know the exact date? Have you not been to a doctor?’
‘No.’
‘We all need to register with a local GP but the priority will be getting you into the system for prenatal care. A January birth would make you…’ I paused to do the maths in my head, ‘…about two months pregnant?’
‘Closer to three. Early January.’
‘When did you take a pregnancy test?’
‘I didn’t.’
I frowned at her. ‘So how do you know you’re pregnant?’
‘I had unprotected sex – don’t lecture me on that cos I know how stupid it was – and I haven’t had a period since.’
My heart leapt. If she hadn’t taken a positive test, there was a possibility she wasn’t even pregnant. ‘Any other symptoms?’
‘I’m tired. I haven’t felt sick or anything but I googled it and not every pregnant woman is sick.’
‘True. I wasn’t. But you do realise there are other reasons why your periods could have stopped?
Stress can affect your cycle and you’ve been through your A levels, a break-up, your dad moving away and our move so it’s possible that’s disrupted things.
There’s only one way to find out for sure.
’ I shuffled off the bed. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Where?’
‘To the nearest chemist to buy a pregnancy test.’
She looked aghast. ‘You want me to come with you?’
‘Yes. The test’s for you.’
‘It’s too embarrassing.’
‘Taking a pregnancy test and being pregnant – if that is the outcome – is not something to be embarrassed about.’
She stared at me, eyes wide.
‘Fine. I’ll go on my own. Get yourself up and showered and, by the time you’re sorted, I should be back with a test.’
‘You won’t tell Nanna?’
‘Not if you don’t want me to but if the test’s positive, we can’t keep that from her.’
‘Okay. We’ll tell her then but not now.’
If it was negative, I still thought Mam should know because she deserved to understand why Maddie was so snappy with us all, but I’d cross that bridge later. The most important thing for now was to get that test.
A quick check on my phone confirmed that Berwick was the closest option. It was still fairly early but there was a supermarket on the outskirts of town where I’d be able to pick up a test.
As I set off, my mind whirred with the maths.
If Maddie was due in early January, conception had to have been early April, meaning she’d missed her first period later that month or in early May.
She’d therefore taken all her exams while thinking she was pregnant, which had to have been incredibly stressful.
She could have tanked them which might explain why she’d dropped her plans to go to university.
Having a baby after only one term would be a pretty major reason for ditching university too and also explain why she had no firm plans for what to do instead.
Everything made so much more sense now. Except the timing of the conception.
She’d split up with Alfie in mid-February so either they’d got back together without me knowing or Alfie wasn’t the father.
But if he wasn’t, who was? Maddie had a few female friends with whom she occasionally spent time but she’d never mentioned any lads, although she barely spoke about any of her friends so maybe there were lads she’d hung around with.
Or maybe it hadn’t been someone with whom she was friendly.
It could have been a one-night thing. She’d been to a party over the Easter weekend in early April.
Could she have hooked up with someone then?
The timing would certainly work for that.
I wished she’d confided in me sooner. I knew many parents found it difficult to talk about relationships and sex with their offspring but I recalled being confused by all the misinformation flying round school when I was a teenager so I’d had several healthy discussions with Maddie about it.
She’d talked to me about the boys she liked at school and had told me about her first kiss on a school trip.
I knew she dreamed of getting married and having two children – or at least that had been her stance in the summer before sixth form.
She’d vehemently declared that she had no intention of losing her virginity before she turned eighteen and that her first time would be with somebody she was certain she loved.
Alfie had never stayed overnight at our house and Maddie hadn’t stayed at his but I was very aware that they didn’t need a sleepover to take that step.
Earlier in the year – shortly before they broke up – Maddie had been in a strop over something and I’d decided in for a penny, in for a pound and had thrown in an I hope you and Alfie are being careful comment.
She’d stopped her rant and stared at me, her expression incredulous.
‘We’re not sleeping together!’ she’d cried before storming out and I’d been so relieved because I genuinely didn’t think he was right for her.
Arriving at the supermarket, I grabbed a basket.
My head was too fuzzy to think about a full shop and I was eager to get home so Maddie could take the test and find out for sure, but we needed more cereal, milk and bananas so I added those items to my basket before heading for the medical aisles.
Choosing a two-pack of tests, nervous butterflies took flight in my stomach at the thought of how much a positive result was going to change – had already changed – Maddie’s life.
Having a baby at eighteen had not been part of her plan.
There were queues at the self-service and staffed tills and I was debating which to join when a voice from my left made me jump.
‘How’s Clemmie this morning?’
‘Caleb? Hi! What are you doing here?’ I cringed inwardly. What a stupid question!
‘I’ve got a packed day of appointments in the area and forgot to pick up my lunch before I left so it’s a meal deal for me.’
His eyes flicked to my basket and the butterflies in my stomach did a loop-the-loop. I had no idea whether the pregnancy tests were on clear view or buried under something else and I didn’t dare look down to check.
‘Clemmie?’ he prompted.
‘Oh, yeah, she’s fine. Not happy about the cone of shame but on good form.’
‘Pleased to hear it. I’d better let you get on. See you later.’
‘Yeah, enjoy your meal deal.’
Caleb smiled at me before heading towards the self-checkout.
I glanced down into my basket where the test kit was on full view.
He couldn’t have missed it. Would he think it was for me or for Maddie?
Had I told him how old she was? I couldn’t remember but, even if I had, he’d probably conclude it was mine rather than my seventeen-year-old’s.
Not that it made any difference if he did.
Did it? I felt strangely uncomfortable at the thought of Caleb thinking I was pregnant, but standing here wasn’t getting me any closer to finding out if Maddie was.
Spotting a smaller queue at one of the staffed tills, I loaded my items onto the conveyer belt.
In about half an hour, we’d know for sure and, if the test was positive, it wasn’t only Maddie’s life that was about to significantly change course.