CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Nyssa’s grandmother haunted her dreams.
Well, haunted was a strong word, one Nyssa didn’t think Lisabeth Hawthorne would appreciate, but Nyssa couldn’t think of a better way to describe it.
Every time she fell asleep, she would see her grandmother standing next to the spring, or calling to her from the bottom of the lake outside the cottage.
And every time, her lips would move in words Nyssa couldn’t hear.
Nyssa knew it had to have something to do with whatever she’d experienced in the woods, and thankfully, after two days of being awake and drinking the enchanted tonic her grandma used to make her when she’d get sick as a little girl, she had felt well enough to go through Lisabeth’s old spellbooks in search of any mention of the strange phenomenon.
And while they had worked as a great distraction from the letter she’d received from the coven that morning and the fact that Elowen hadn’t been to visit, there was little in them that was actually of use.
Nyssa was poring over them again now, painstakingly going through each page with a journal and quill at her side, the chilly December wind ruffling her hair.
Liora had left her on the porch swing less than a half an hour before, bundled in a blanket to keep out the chill, and as much as Nyssa appreciated her and Alaric taking time to care for her, she was more than relieved to have a little time to herself.
Well, mostly to herself. Nyx had barely left her side since her incident.
Her familiar sat curled up on her lap now, body rumbling with a soft, content purr.
Rumours said that some familiar’s could help a witch heal and recover magical energy faster than normal, rumours that, after the last few days, Nyssa fully believed.
The pain in her head and muscles felt better with Nyx around, and on the brief occasions the cat did part from Nyssa’s side to go about her business, Nyssa felt her anxiety over everything – Morven, the trial, Elowen – harder to ignore.
‘I love you,’ Nyssa said, leaning down to kiss Nyx’s head. She gave a soft chirp in response, claws coming out to dig softly into Nyssa’s thigh.
‘Am I interrupting something?’
Nyssa’s heart leapt into her throat at the sound of Elowen’s soft voice.
The elf, dressed in a long coat and boots to stay warm, was leaning against the frame of the porch, arms crossed defensively across her chest, and Nyssa wanted nothing more than to rush over and kiss her senseless while uttering every apology she could think of.
Even as she managed to resist the urge, Nyx … did not.
Her familiar leapt from Nyssa’s legs with a loud mew before weaving between Elowen’s legs, her tail swishing back and forth and the level of her purr rising to an almost comical level, and despite everything that had happened between them, Nyssa couldn’t help but smile at the sight.
‘I think she missed you,’ she said, holding back the ‘so did I’ she so desperately wanted to add.
Elowen leaned down to scoop Nyx into her arms and planted a small kiss on top of the purring cat’s head. ‘I missed her, too.’ She glanced over to Nyssa then, her gaze hesitant. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit. I just … needed some time.’
‘You don’t need to apologize. I betrayed your trust; you have every right to be angry with me.’
‘I’m not angry with you.’ Elowen walked over to sit beside Nyssa on the porch. Nyx settled quickly into her lap, content as the elf absent-mindedly stroked along her spine. ‘It hurt me that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me, though.’
‘It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I didn’t want to worry you ahead of the ritual, but I also …
’ Nyssa’s fingers curled into the fabric of her skirt.
‘When I got the letter with the date for my final test, I expected to feel excited, but … all I felt was conflicted. A part of me was still eager to prove myself, but … another part of me wanted to fail. Because if I did, then I could stay here in Nighthaven without feeling guilty about it.’
Elowen’s brow furrowed. She’d stopped stroking Nyx now, and her hand rested dangerously close to Nyssa’s own. So close that, when she spoke again, her little finger brushed gently against Nyssa’s. ‘Why would you feel guilty about it?’
The question had Nyssa blinking back tears.
‘Because it’s the opposite of everything I’ve ever said I wanted.
I worked so hard to become head mage, and I could never understand why my grandma chose this life over one in the covens.
It’s why we fell out. But now … now I’m starting to understand.
I’m so much happier here than I ever was in the coven, so much more myself, but if I let myself want this life …
then I’ve wasted so much time.’ Nyssa’s voice cracked, and it was an effort to force the next words through the tightness of her throat. ‘Time I could have spent with her.’
Elowen rested her hand atop of Nyssa’s, their fingers interweaving. ‘I don’t think it was wasted time, and I don’t think Lisabeth would, either. When I first arrived in Nighthaven after I’d left my clan, she told me that sometimes we have to walk the wrong path to find the right one.’
Nyssa’s heart clenched. ‘She used to tell me that, too. But I was so convinced the path I was walking was the right one. I’d been starting to doubt that lately, as everything got harder at my coven, and since coming back to Nighthaven …
well, I know I was wrong.’ Nyssa pulled the folded letter from inside her coat pocket and cleared her throat as she began to read, ‘Dear Mage Hawthorne, after much consideration, we regret to inform you that we shall not be rescheduling your final test, and that your suspension from the coven is being made permanent. Blessed be, Head Mage Edith Kelster.’
‘Oh, Nyssa,’ Elowen’s fingers tightened around her own, ‘I can’t imagine how painful that must be. I’m so sorry.’
‘I’m not,’ Nyssa admitted. ‘I thought I would be, but when I read the letter … They didn’t even ask how I was, or wish me well.
Not that I really expected them to, but …
it made it clear to me what I’ve known for a while now: my place isn’t with the coven, it’s here, in Nighthaven. With Li and Alaric and Gwen and … you.’
Elowen didn’t let go of her hand, but her eyes widened as her cheeks flushed an adorable shade of pink.
‘I’m not asking you for anything,’ Nyssa hurried to add, ‘this is all still so new, and I don’t want to rush …
whatever is between us. But I don’t want it to end, either.
’ Nyssa’s heart felt like it was going to slam out of her chest. Witches, she wasn’t any good at this.
She could recite spells and rituals without a hitch (well, most of the time), but admitting her true feelings was like fumbling through the dark.
‘I don’t want it to end, either,’ Elowen admitted, her grip on Nyssa’s hand tightening once more.
‘And I know you said you aren’t sorry about your coven’s decision, but …
just in case you are at some point in the future, I want you to remember that removing you is one of the stupidest decisions The Coven of the Sacred Owl will ever make. ’
Nyssa couldn’t help but let out a disbelieving snort. While the letter had helped her make her decision, there was still a large part of her that felt like a complete and utter failure. ‘I’m not sure they’ll see it that way.’
‘They will,’ Elowen said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The pair lapsed into a comfortable silence, arms brushing as they looked out across the lake from the porch. A sharp chill hung in the air, and Nyssa leaned subtly into the warmth radiating from Elowen beside her.
Wind worried at the water, breaking its surface into restless, silvered ripples.
And there, just for a heartbeat, between one wave and the next, Nyssa caught the glint of something that wasn’t water.
Something darker. Sleeker. Large and scaled, breaking the surface.
A fluid movement like the flick of a tail.
She blinked.
The lake rolled on as before, its surface broken only by the roll of the waves. Whatever she thought she’d seen was gone, but Nyssa was transported back to her childhood. To the day she’d been paddling and seen something shimmering beneath the water. The creature of the lake.
‘You know, Nyssa,’ Elowen’s voice broke Nyssa’s train of thought and she turned to look at the elf once more, ‘you’re more powerful than you think. What you did in the forest … I’ve never felt magic like that before.’
‘I don’t even know how I did that,’ Nyssa admitted, because the way Elowen was looking at her with such admiration, like she was something worth looking at that way, felt undeserved.
‘It didn’t even feel like the power belonged to me.
Everything was going dark, and then I felt my grandma’s presence, and then …
it just happened.’ Nyssa gestured at the tomes on the small table in front of them.
‘I’ve been looking through Grandma’s old grimoire to try and find any mention of a similar phenomenon, but so far I haven’t come across anything. ’
‘Hmmm.’ Elowen’s brow furrowed, the way Nyssa noticed it did whenever the elf was seriously thinking about something. ‘The spring we were at … it was on a ley line convergence, wasn’t it?’
Nyssa nodded. ‘Yes, but I’ve cast on ley line convergences before, and it’s never felt like it did at the spring.
’ All witches knew that a ley line convergence was a significant source of power, one that would strengthen their own magic if tapped into, but there had never been any mention of them allowing a witch to tap into someone else’s power.
‘What if that’s because you weren’t tapping into just one convergence, but two?’
It was Nyssa’s turn to furrow her brow. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You said you felt your grandma’s presence, right?
Well, there’s an old elven folk tale within my clan that my mother used to tell me: a long time ago, the newly appointed leader of the clan was forced to face a powerful adversary who was trying to seize the clan’s power.
It was a challenge he had to face without the clan’s support – something about a curse on his ancestral line that meant only he could stop this foe.
His magic alone wasn’t strong enough, so he communed with the spirits for answers.
‘His mother’s spirit appeared, and told him that her power was his power; all he had to do was draw on the familial bond between them in the same way he might draw on the power of a ley line.
Afterward, he faced the adversary once more, and defeated them with a power stronger than any he had wielded before.
My mother always used to say it was “strong enough to rattle the earth”, but I’m pretty sure she was just taking poetic licence with the story,’ Elowen added, smiling to herself before continuing.
‘My clan – and others – often tell the story to reiterate the importance of family. I’m not sure if it’s even true, and if it is, I have no idea if it would apply to witches.
What I do know,’ Elowen said as she looked at Nyssa with that same mix of admiration and longing, ‘is that that magic was unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed.
And frankly, Nyssa Hawthorne, you’re unlike anyone or anything I’ve ever met. And not just because of your magic.’
Those words – and the fact that Elowen knew how much Nyssa needed to hear them – had her closing the space between them, lips brushing against hers.
It was a soft, tender kiss that made Nyssa shiver, and when Elowen’s tongue pressed questioningly against her lips, her entire body felt as if she’d just been shocked.
This is it, Nyssa’s heart sang as she let herself fall into Elowen’s embrace, more certain than ever of her choice. This is where I belong.